Runaways, page 7
I let my hands slide over his chest and the cotton of his t-shirt. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want you.”
He studies me, and I know he understands what I’m saying. “We talked about this. I thought you wanted to wait until we were out of here.”
“Why wait though?” He cocks his head to the side. He’s right, we’ve talked about it. Both of us agreed it would be best to avoid actual sex until we weren’t in high school. “I love you. I know that. It’s always going to be you. So why wait?”
“Pregnancy,” he offers, in that matter-of-fact way only Lawson Davis can.
“Right. I’ve taken care of that.” His brow furrows, and I smile, tugging him toward the bed where we sit on the edge again. “I went to a clinic. They were helpful and understanding that I didn’t want my mom to know anything. They gave me condoms, and I started the pill a few months ago.”
I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t think I’m a slut. I meant what I said, I don’t want to ruin anything for him, but I still want him. “Well, Nash has also not so subtly stocked my drawer with condoms over the past few months.”
I laugh at that and blush. “Oh, that’s just great.”
He laughs too, taking my hand in his. “We don’t have to do this though. I’m happy with what we have now, Rae. Don’t rush this because of that fucking asshole.”
“This has nothing to do with Colin.” He cocks his head to the side like he doesn’t believe me. “Okay. Maybe it does in a roundabout way. But really, it’s about not letting him take everything away from me. I know I’d want this regardless of anything he does, and the only reason I’ve held back is because . . .” I sigh, “I don’t want to ruin you.”
He laughs at that, but I look at him, letting him know it’s not funny. Still, he smiles. “Rae, you couldn’t ruin me if you tried. You saved me.”
I kiss him, running my fingers through his thick hair. “I love you. I want you. In every way. I don’t want to wait anymore, but I do want to be as careful as we can be.”
He nods his head slowly, his eyes drifting to the table next to his bed as he swallows hard. “Like now?”
I nod, removing my shirt and looking into his eyes. The nerves in my belly are growing stronger, but they’re excited flutters too. “Yes.”
We kiss for a long time, making out on his bed like we’ve done numerous times. Our clothes slowly come off. Finally, we’re both naked, and he’s sheathed in a condom, resting between my legs.
“Are you sure, Rae?”
I smile, grasping the back of his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. “I’m sure. I want this.”
“You know you’ll have me no matter what, right?”
I nod, wiping away a tear that dared to fall during the best moment of my life so far. “I know.” He looks like he’s about to pull away when he sees the tear, but I don’t let him go. “Kiss me.”
He does, and when he slowly presses inside of me with care and tenderness, it naturally hurts and is uncomfortable, but it’s also beautiful.
Because it’s Lawson and me.
* * *
Holy shit, I can’t get enough of Rae. I mean, I couldn’t before, but now she doesn’t seem to be able to stop touching me either. Since she told me everything about what happened with Colin and her mother, including that her bitch of a mother is trying to conceive Satan’s spawn, we’re freer. We don’t hold back. It’s two weeks later, and everything feels oddly calm.
I was more than willing to wait. I really was. Of course, I wanted her. What seventeen-year-old guy doesn’t want to have sex? But I would have waited.
Still. Not gonna lie . . . it’s fucking awesome.
“Can I come over tonight?” Rae asks as she whispers into my ear and holds onto my neck.
“Nah.”
She pulls back and gives me a fake glare, her smile unhidden. “Ass.”
I laugh. “You can come over anytime.”
“Yeah?”
I nod, and she presses her lips against mine. My body likes being this close to hers way too much for being in school. “Rae . . .”
She kisses me softly, and I give in for a minute until I hear a growl from behind us and then Da Silva’s voice. “That’s it.” Rae jumps back, and we both look at Da Silva, but he’s only looking at me. “Detention, Davis, after school for PDA. It’s clearly stated in the student handbook that this behavior will not be tolerated.”
“What? No,” Rae tries to argue, but I only give Da Silva a glare because I know I’m fucked.
“Yes.” He walks closer. His black dress shoes clicking on the tile floor. “Detention. And I’ll be sure to call your parents. That is, if your mom isn’t busy working the corner and your dad isn’t in prison.”
My fists clench at my sides, and my nostrils flare. But I’m not giving him more ammunition. Of course, Rae has to argue, “You can’t say things like that to your students. And if he has detention, then so do I.”
He glances at her, looking down his nose at her like she’s nothing. “You need to go to class. Now.”
“No.” Rae places a hand on her hip, her stubborn streak in full bloom. She’s the one I love, but her attitude adds an equal amount of fear in my soul for her.
“I thought we’ve established you don’t get to tell me no.”
Her eyes widen, and now I’m pretty damn sure I’m going to jail. I take a step forward, my body moving between hers and his. “She can say no to anyone, anytime.”
He sneers at me, “Raelynn never says no, as I’m sure you know.”
I start to move toward him, but Rae steps in front of me, turning to face me. “Don’t.”
There are so many things I want to say to her, but none of them are anything I want him to hear. “I guess I have detention today.”
“Damn straight, you do,” Da Silva seethes.
Rae turns back to face him. “I guess I do too. After all, I’m the one who initiated the PDA. I’m the one who can’t get enough of his hands and lips on me.”
Fuck, Rae. Da Silva’s lips curl as he leans closer, keeping his voice low now that we’ve gathered a crowd, but I still hear him. “You’re nothing but a whore. And you’ll pay for this.” I want to bury him. But there are too many witnesses, and I’m already in trouble. “Go to class, Raelynn.”
Rae turns to me with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ll see you . . .” I keep my voice down but don’t really give a fuck if he hears me or not, “later.”
She nods, quickly taking off for class, and I breathe a little easier now that she’s not around her stepfather. Most of the crowd of students have lost interest and have also taken off for class since the bell is about to ring. But the man who’s supposed to be a professional and a principal checks my shoulder hard as he moves by me. “Don’t miss detention. I’ll make sure to check to confirm you’re there.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll gladly serve my time.”
He spins around. “Stay away from Raelynn, or I’ll ruin you.”
I square my shoulders and stand tall because there’s nothing I won’t do for Rae. “You don’t own her. And you can’t touch me.”
“Trust me. One detention on your record, not so bad . . .” He leans in. “More than one, for a highly coveted scholarship you desperately need? That will cost you. Don’t ruin your future for a piece of ass.”
“You really are sick.”
“And she really is mine.”
He doesn’t give me a chance for rebuttal and takes off down the hall. Tammy, who I guess has been waiting around, comes out of nowhere and places a hand on my shoulder. “Jesus Christ, you can’t let him do that.”
“Do what?”
“Intimidate you. Ruin your scholarship.” I look at her as she cocks her head to the side with sympathy. “Law, you need that scholarship.”
“I need Rae more.”
She looks pained as she nods her head knowingly. “I know that too. Just please be careful. This is his turf.”
“He can’t win, Tammy.”
“Then don’t let him. Don’t let him take away your scholarship. It’s your ticket out of here.”
I lean back against the lockers, pissed and wanting so badly to punch something, or better yet, someone, but that won’t do Rae or me any good. “I feel helpless. He’s going to hurt her.”
“Rae’s tough. Unbelievably tough. She can make it, but she can’t if your future is in jeopardy.” She smiles and slings a friendly arm around my shoulder. “I don’t think there’s anything you two stubborn assholes won’t do for each other.”
I laugh at that as we walk to class because yeah, she’s right.
I just hope we can both get out of this untouched.
* * *
“You’re jittery.”
“Is that a word?” I turn to look at Tammy, who’s standing next to me at her locker.
“Yes. And you are.” She grabs my hand. “I know this morning sucked.”
It did. God, did it suck. Lawson has detention because of me. It’s on his school record. Because of me. Because I can’t keep my hands off him. Every touch from him erases all the crap in my life, and I selfishly seek it out every chance I get.
“I can’t help it, Tammy. Do you think he’s mad at me?”
She laughs, but it isn’t cruel. She just squeezes my hand and shakes her head. “He’s mad at Da Silva. And maybe the world. But not you, Rae. Never you.”
“He should be mad at me.” I curse the tears starting to leak from my eyes. “If . . .”
She hugs me to her. “If what, Rae? If he wouldn’t have fallen in love with you, he wouldn’t be in detention right now?”
I nod, letting her hug me. “Yes.”
She pulls me back enough to look into my eyes. “Honey, I knew him before you came into the picture. And yeah, he’s a good guy, but he was a hellion. You cleaned up his act.”
“He was fourteen.”
“And on his way to juvie. Trust me. He loved fucking shit up before you got here. He didn’t care about getting in trouble. He didn’t care about scholarships and school. You did that, Rae. You made him want things for himself and for you.”
I wipe at a tear and lean back into the hug. She laughs and pats my back, letting me have a small amount of comfort. “What are you two still doing here?”
No. God, I hate his voice.
Tammy answers him, “Just waiting for a friend.”
I wipe my face and stand next to her side, staring down my evil stepfather. “Is that a problem?”
“You know it is. He’ll be in detention for an hour. School is over. Go home.”
“We’re students, Principal Da Silva.” Tammy bats her eyelashes at him, playing dumb. “Is it really bad for us to be on school property?”
He looks her over in a way that makes me want to puke, but then his lip curls. “After hours. Yes. Go. Home. Or you’ll be the next one in detention.”
He never threatens me with that. No, he’ll just punish me later.
“Come on, Tammy.” I hook my arm in hers. “Let’s go.”
She glares at Colin, but we leave. I feel disgusted, knowing his eyes are on us as we walk outside. He usually stays here late. Why? I don’t know. I don’t want to know, nor do I care.
We walk a few feet outside the front door and sit on a bench, still waiting for Law. “I don’t think he’s ever going to leave me alone.”
Tammy rests her head on my shoulder. “One more year, right? I mean, we have half a year left of our junior year. And then, senior year will be a breeze.” She lifts her head and looks at me, trying to smile. “Then it will be you and Law in a different town, living in sin and going to school. It will be beautiful.”
I laugh at her optimism, but I envy it too. “And you and Tanner?”
She shrugs, laying her head back down on my shoulder. “I doubt there will be a me and Tanner for too long, but maybe.”
“Look, this is the fantasy, right? If you want Tanner, then you two will be there too. In the apartment next to ours.”
I feel her smiling. “I think he’s going to have a problem keeping his dick in his pants.”
“You think he’s cheating?”
I feel her shoulder shrug against mine. “We aren’t all Law and Rae.” She looks up at me and half-heartedly grins. “But it’s okay.”
“It’s really not. You deserve better than that.”
She nods, not arguing, but not really saying anything more about it. “What are you guys going to do?”
There’s more melancholy in her voice now, and it feels dangerously more realistic. “I don’t know. If Colin sees us together, he’ll torture Lawson more. I can’t have him losing his scholarship, Tammy.”
“I agree.” I look at her, surprised, and she sighs. “He needs that scholarship. He has to get out of this town.”
I feel sick, thinking about any possibility of his scholarship being ruined. He loves art. He’s a beautiful, talented painter. He should have everything he wants. “Maybe I should just run away.”
“That’s not funny.” She sits up straight, and so do I, turning to face her.
“Tammy . . . I’m ruining his life.”
“That’s not an option, Rae. You can’t leave.”
I think about Colin’s hands on me. His eyes. And the words that come from his despicable mouth. He’s going to hurt me. And I don’t think I can endure it for a year and a half. “I don’t know if I have any other option.”
“Are you being serious?”
“I can’t let him rape me.” I look away, feeling disgusted and ashamed.
“I’ll cut his dick off if he tries.”
That elicits a small chuckle from me, which in turn makes her laugh, but we both know it isn’t funny. “He’s getting bolder.”
She hugs me to her. “Why haven’t you told me that?”
“You know that.” Tammy knows things without me having to tell her. She’s a lot like Law that way.
“I know.” She sounds as defeated as I feel. “But you can’t run away. We need you, Rae. We’ll figure something out.”
I bite my bottom lip, trying not to cry as I force myself to speak the words, “If I have to . . . leave, I mean . . .”
“You won’t.”
I sigh. “If I have to, will you promise to take care of Lawson. Please?”
Her mouth begins to open to say something, but she stops. I can see the tears in her eyes. “If you leave him, there will be no taking care of Lawson. He will tear the world apart to get to you.”
I know she’s right.
“I don’t know what to do.”
We don’t say anything because really, there’s nothing to say.
I’m afraid that soon, I won’t really have a choice. And I don’t know if I can leave Lawson behind.
* * *
Detention sucked ass, but it’s over now. It was mostly just boring, and I spent the entire time sketching and worrying about Rae. I don’t know what the hell we’re going to do, but one thing is certain . . . Da Silva feels bulletproof.
Students were everywhere this morning when he threatened Rae. And yeah, he kept his voice low, but still, he isn’t afraid.
Which isn’t good.
When men like him feel untouchable, that’s when the shit hits the fan. That’s when bad things happen. And I can’t let anything bad happen to Rae.
I see Tammy sitting on a bench outside the school, and I walk to her. “Hey, where’s Rae?”
There’s no way she didn’t wait for me too. Tammy looks up at me, sighing as she stands up and swings her backpack over her shoulder. “She’s waiting in her car to follow you to your house.”
“Why do you look so upset?”
Tammy looks out toward the empty parking lot. Her eyes meet mine, and I see her worry. “I’m afraid she’s going to do something drastic to get away from that prick.”
My hackles raise instantly. “Like what?”
She looks guilty, torn between her loyalty to Rae and her worry. “Law . . .” Her voice is quiet, way too quiet for Tammy. “I’m scared she’s going to run.”
My brows furrow, and I feel my palms begin to sweat at the mention of Rae leaving. “She wouldn’t do that.”
“She doesn’t want to.” Tammy looks toward the school, over her shoulder, and then back at me. “She’s afraid of him.”
“I know.”
“I’m scared, Lawson.”
I give a clipped nod and place a hand on her shoulder. “I’m not letting Rae leave, and I’m not letting anything happen to her.”
Even saying the words, though, I don’t believe them. Though, Tammy nods, straightening her shoulders. “I’m not sure we can fight him, but you just say the word if we have to.”
I smile and wave as I walk toward my car after giving her a quick goodbye. It’s funny how protective Tammy is over Rae now, but it’s also easy to understand. Because I’d die for Rae. I just don’t know if my death would accomplish anything.
Rae follows me to my house, and when I move to her car door, she jumps out immediately and wraps her arms around me. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t do that.” I hug her small body to mine. “It’s not your fault.”
“What if he doesn’t stop?”
I don’t have an answer for her. I’m pissed that I’m so helpless, so I just hug her to me until we decide to go inside my house. Naturally, no one is on our side, and Nash is right there, waiting for us with his arms folded and his gaze lethally serious. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I toss my backpack on the floor. “What?”
“What?” He walks toward us, and I feel Rae tense next to me. “You got detention today?”
“I thought that asshole was going to call my parents? Not my older brother who seriously needs to get a hobby.”
“You’re a little shit.” He’s not wrong. “What? You just don’t give a fuck about your future now?”
Now Rae is even more tense, and I hate what this is doing to her. “I care. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
