Your Soul Contract Decoded, page 19
Spiritual Karma: 18-9
Keywords for the 18: Finality and solution, clear choice to follow Spirit or not, indecision over this in karma
Keywords for the 9: Flowing steely, invincible power of dragon/serpent energy, resistance to this in karma
Maxine was a procrastinator (18) when it came to finishing off her school projects and longer homework assignments. This was because she was subconsciously scared of making the wrong decisions. She would have a tendency to over-research a topic to gather as much data as possible in order to make the right decision. What would usually happen was that she would look back at all her past decisions and regret the choices she had made. Part of her (9) did not trust her first inner gut feeling as to what was the right thing to do next. This came from a resistance within her to coming into her power. The deeper program that is running here is that she feels unworthy of making a choice to follow Spirit or not, which is the core of the 18 energy. She needs to learn to let go of the great fear and resistance deep within her being of the 9 and unleash her power on the world. Once she starts to do this, she will feel safe and have enough courage to make the choice to stand in her power and make the hard decision to follow her Spirit.
The way her parents can manage this is to encourage her to trust her inner feeling and to just act upon it. She needs to know that in the past she made the best possible decisions she could in the moment and not to look back at these, but to be emotionally present and look forward; that way, she can make the next best possible decision. With her projects, she would find that at about 80% of the way through, the procrastination would come in and she could not finish them. She needed a lot of encouragement from her parents to break through this particular blockage.
Part of the solution came in the form of a couple of instances of bullying at school, where some older girls picked on Maxine. This pushed her over the limit in terms of the resistance to holding back her power. Something inside her broke through, and she physically lashed out at them in both cases. After that, no one bothered her again. However, her parents realized that she needed to learn to use this new-found power properly and suggested she try the karate club at school. This gave Maxine a good structure for and lots of confidence in learning how to use her power properly.
Spiritual Talents: 9-9
Keywords: Power, catalyst, excellent channel, great strength and belief in self
The 9-9s in this position are powerful and catalytic, pushing everyone’s buttons in the family. Maxine is the strong one, and was quite a handful to manage as a child as she learnt to stand in her power. Her parents have to be careful not to disempower her, but to also maintain clear boundaries and maintain her consciousness. This can be seen as the spark of God you see in a baby’s eyes because it is still connected to Spirit and has not yet shut down emotionally in the Earthly reality. Her parents need to keep her connected to her Spirit at least to the age of seven years, so there is a good chance she would stay conscious for the rest of her life. This would result in her having a completely different life compared to if she went unconscious like many of her friends at school. This is undertaken by them being as conscious as possible of their actions and how they impact on Maxine. They need to avoid rearranging around her program of disempowerment and inadvertently abusing her.
Maxine possesses great strength and belief in her self. She began to realize that she could pretty much do anything she liked as she had the power within her to make it so. This power can be tough on the physical body, though, often pushing it beyond its limits. This, combined with the physical and emotional imbalance of the physical karmic 12-3s, was a challenging combination in terms of staying in balance and looking after herself.
Her intuition and expression of power was naturally very good in this aspect, so this energy flowed into the spiritual karmic 18-9 energies enabling her to overcome the lack of trust in her spiritual channel/intuition and break through the disempowerment programming.
Fulcrum energies of the 9-9s:
Into the spiritual karmic 18–9s: The positive energies of these talent 9-9s are perfectly matched for transmuting the negative expression of the spiritual karmic 18-9s as a positive 9 overcomes a negative 9 expression. 9-9s in Physical or Spiritual Talents rapidly burn through whatever the associated karmic and goal aspect numbers are. The same burn-through effect applies to the Spiritual Goal 7-7s as well.
Spiritual Goals: 7-7
Keywords: Work with and heal heart, unifying the inner hidden self and the outer public self, action.
Maxine always had two sides to her, the hidden part of her that she did not want people to find out about and the public façade she presented to the world to protect this hidden part. This creates indecisiveness within her as her primary spiritual goal was to decide which side of herself to present to the world. Her deepest subconscious fear was that she was a terrible person inside and that if people found that out, they would reject her. This was imprinted within her when she was a baby when her mother was not able to give her enough of the love she needed. The result was a closure of the heart. She became somewhat of an actress, playing mind games so people would not find out who she really was. This caused her parents a lot of confusion and disorientation at times.
Her parents need to create a safe space for Maxine in order for her to come out of hiding and begin to show her true self to the world. They need to encourage her to express more of her true feelings and thoughts and to learn that, as she does this, those around her will be given permission to do the same. Her heart will then begin to heal and open once again.
Soul Destiny: 7-7
Keywords: Heart opening, unification in self and others, networking
This is to open her heart and express her authentic feelings and thoughts to the world. This truth would trigger others to do the same, enabling her to network and unify like-minded people together, thus creating a greater whole out of the whole of the individual parts. This was already happening at school as she had a big group of friends she hung out with.
Case study 5: Jeri Michelle Taylor
Figure 20: Chart for Jeri Michelle Taylor
Physical Karma: 7-7
Keywords for the 7-7: Work with and heal heart.
Jeri is Stephanie Margaret Megan Taylor’s younger sister. She had a lot of indecision over who she was, an actress, dancer, singer and performer in the outer world, which was like a façade protecting the inner part of her. She was heartbroken as a child from the neglect and inability of her mother Naomi Jemma Kelliher to share love unconditionally with her and her sister Stephanie Margaret Megan Taylor. For some reason, her mother would not love her, so her ego felt she must have been bad to have caused this. As a result, she never felt safe to show her true self out of fear of being rejected by people who might see her as this bad person. This lead to her being a subtle controller of people, playing mind games with them so that they would not see the vulnerable, wounded inner child, her true self. It was like Jeri wore a mask which only those very close to her could see behind to find her authentic self. The mind games were so intense at times, to throw people off the scent of who she truly was, that they really confused people as to what was going on. Another effect of the indecision over whether to show her true self or not was a general indecision in life when there was a choice of what she should do. Even simple things like what to buy given a choice of different clothes could be a real challenge.
A major effect of these indecisive energies was that Jeri lived in dreamland, where she could not tell what was real and what was not. This got her into lots of trouble in relationships, both in love ones and in general. There was a filter over who the person really was, and Jeri’s initial perception of them was not who they truly were. Then having engaged in the relationship for a while, she would suddenly wake up one day and realize that this was not the truth of what was going on and that the perceived foundation of the relationship was not there at all. This led her to leaving many boyfriends. In relationships, the key for Jeri is to keep asking the question ‘Is this real?’ and to look for solid evidence to answer that question.
The other thing Jeri needed to do is to gradually drop the façade she had put on her whole life to hide and protect her vulnerable inner child. She needed to start to express her true feelings and thoughts, to be as authentic as possible. As she moved higher up the scale of consciousness into more truth, her heart began to open. When someone walks into a room and tells the absolute truth, everyone goes quiet as there is nothing more to say when truth is shared like this. On the other hand, if someone does not tell the truth, then everyone is on to them because they instinctively feel the lower consciousness frequency of a lie. As Jeri progressively shared more of her truth in her daily life in her performances, this created a safety bubble of higher consciousness energy around her which triggered everyone else to come into and express their truth. Her ego learnt that it was completely safe to express truth; in fact, the more that her ego did it, the bigger the bubble of safety around Jeri got. A paradox, the exact opposite of what it feared: that it would be seen as bad and be rejected.
As Jeri’s heart progressively opened and she healed the wounds of childhood, it started to emanate the magnetics of the soul. These attracted to Jeri like-minded people, situations and opportunities for her to network with, to synergize into a greater whole in what she could achieve in the world. It allowed her soul to move more rapidly into the manifestation of its Soul Destiny. As her heart opened, Jeri’s decision making got better, because she began to feel what was right to do next. She achieved this by trying on the different options for a different situation in her heart visually, as she was an artist and also at a deep feeling level. When her heart expanded and she felt positive emotions like joy and love, it was her soul communicating the Spiritual Signature to her through these bodily sensations. When she acted upon the most aligned action with Spirit she could take, it always worked out well. If she tried on something that was not in alignment with Spirit, then her heart closed down and she went into a dark place at a feeling level. Often grief or sadness would well up within her. This was her soul telling her that this potential action was not in alignment with Spirit and that if she undertook it, things would not work out well. The Spiritual Signature is not a logical, leftbrained, linear process. Spirit moves in curves, never in straight lines, so Jeri could never quite tell what was going to happen next. She just knew from long experience that the more she went with the right expansive feeling in her heart, the more love would flow and open up for her. She learnt never to force things, just to allow the Universe to actually love through her as she and the Universe are ultimately One.
Physical Talents: 11-2
Keywords for the 11: Discerning out of all the ideas and concepts coming to her what was her truth and building her own unique structure of truth from this in terms of her artistic expression
Keywords for the 2: Emotional resiliency to cope with shock and change; to be objective and make wise decisions
Jeri was always seeking to build her structure of artistic expression, learning new and improved ways of expression. She would take lots of different ideas and styles of expression on board and spend some time being with them to sense if they were true for her. This is the symbolic Height of the 2 bringing objectivity and wisdom to a situation. This is in order to make the right choice in terms of what to assimilate and integrate into her structure of knowledge and what to discard. She always found that if she resisted the impulsive urge of the Foolish component of the Foolishness to Wisdom polarity of the 2, things worked out well for her.
Another part of the expression of the 11-2 was that she enjoyed building her artistic career from small beginnings, where she learnt ballet and dance as a child. Then she moved on to include singing as a teenager. At high school she was always getting the lead roles in the school plays as she kept wanting to show her real self to the world, and this was a great platform from which to do this. Because she was an excellent visual artist (Spiritual Talent 6-6s) as well, she ended up studying graphic design as she realized that she had to make a living somehow and it might as well be with something she had a passion for. A lot of her friends went off, did university degrees and followed the conventional norms of society and the imprinting from their parents on what was a respectable and secure life career to pursue. A part of Jeri resisted this (the pioneering Spiritual Goal 5-5s) and just wanted to get out into the world and perform from a place of total truth of who she really was.
Once she had established herself in her freelance graphic design career in her 20s, she auditioned for the Cats musical, as performing was her real passion. She was offered a place in their training school to get her ready to perform in the show itself. This took about six months of hard work, but in the end Jeri was on stage doing what she loved, performing through singing and dancing, showing her true self through the physical karmic 7-7s. She had managed to build her career organically over time (Physical Talent 11-2s) to the point where she was performing in some of the top musical shows around. This process started off slowly, then began to build exponentially. The resiliency of the 2s enabled her to cope with all the changes that occurred in this process, especially when her career took off.
Fulcrum energies of the 11-2s:
Into the physical karmic 7-7s: Objectivity and wisdom of the symbolic height of the 2 allows Jeri to overcome the lack of objectivity of the physical karmic 7-7s where she could not see the truth of what was really going on in her life.
Into the physical goal 18-9s: The same applies to the dilemma of the physical goal 18-9s, where the 18 is trying to make the decision over whether to follow Spirit of not.
Physical Goals: 18-9
Keywords for the 18: Choosing to follow Spirit
Keywords for the 9: Power and the resistance to coming into it
Jeri has to make a decision (18) on whether to follow Spirit or not. This requires surrendering to the power (9) of her soul and overcoming the resistance to the full expression of her gifts and talents in the world. It requires bringing into consciousness the Dark Shadow archetype within the ego, which in past lives has abused power, and transmuting this energy into the positive expression of the 9 dragon energies of great power. This is why she is unconsciously scared to let her power loose in this lifetime, just in case she destroys herself, someone else or humanity. This is a powerful program; it is the core master program of her entire ego structure, locking into place all her other programs. If she can work through this one, then the rest of her programs will unravel much more easily, and her spiritual mission and Life Purpose will truly happen.
However, this is not as intense as if it were in a karmic position. It manifested a lot when Jeri was younger in feeling that she did not have enough power (9) to make the final decisions (18) when working on artistic projects in order to complete them. She often ended up procrastinating, wanting someone else to finish them as she could not break through the blockage to the expression of the power of her creativity in her 9s. This would have enabled her to make the right decision (18) to follow Spirit in her artistic expression. Sometimes she would overwork her paintings in the struggle to get them just right. Often she would look back on some of her artistic decisions and would regret the choice she had made. There was the feeling that she could have finished a painting or an illustration in a different way, performed a role slightly differently. The main learning for Jeri here was that she had made the best possible decisions in life at each moment and to not look back in retrospect and regret what she had already done.
For Jeri, the key to working through the 18-9s is to receive healing for the lack of trust in the flow of the power of her Spirit with the 9s and any form of abuse and trauma which they have manifested in this lifetime. Once this is done, she will be able to surrender to the flow of creativity and power coming from them.
The 18s require healing for the unworthiness and past-life issues which drive this configuration. Once the 9s are unleashed, it will become much easier for Jeri to make the decision to follow Spirit which is the question the 18s are always asking of her.
Spiritual Karma: 22-4
Keywords for the 22: Completion, Source; full reconnection to this
Keywords for the 4: Trust in the flow of God’s abundance and love and to be worthy of receiving it
For Jeri, that karmic 22 was very much about learning how to use her voice properly, to express the Source/God and to share this energy in the world. She had a bad birth experience, where she got stuck and had to be pulled out by forceps delivery, which traumatized both her and her mother Naomi Jemma Kelliher. This set in place an enormous distortion in her ego, an archetype of feeling completely disconnected from God, even though she was aware that she came from the Source/God. It got to such an extreme place that in her mind, at times, God actually did not exist at all. This created enormous stress and emotional pain at a human level. Her body was always tense as it unconsciously felt that it was here on Earth all by itself, completely cut off from its Source. This distortion led to the misuse of the power of her voice when she was younger, as the 22-4 is about being able to speak the Word of God from the Source. The effect of the karmic 22-4 was that people felt like Jeri’s voice was trying to dominate them when she was a teenager, and they found it hard to break away from the grip of this.
This all changed when she met and married Mark Anthony Rubin, in her early 20s, and took his surname to become Jeri Michelle Rubin. This will be expanded upon in a future book on name overlays and relationships. In essence, this infusion of overlay energies from the name change into her birth name empowered Jeri to burn through the karmic 22 and fully reconnect back to God. As she started to do this, her voice changed dramatically, and she did start to speak from the Source. This had a profound effect on all those who came into contact with her and was the beginning of her Spiritual awakening, her journey to fully reconnect to the Source in consciousness. Jeri threw herself into any spiritual therapy, practice or workshop that would help her rebuild her connection to the Source. She sought out therapies like Lightbody Integration (Appendix E: 2) and Divine Healing (Appendix E: 1) to remove and transform the structures, energies, programs and beings that created the illusion of her being disconnected from the Source.
