Punish: Dark & Deadly, page 15
I give a nod. It was Maxim who got us into this world, and he’s gone, so maybe it’s time for a change. “Set up a meeting with Andrei.” He’s already running the sex trade out of Holland, and passing it on to someone else would appease my associates.
GRACE
There’s a knock on my door and I peep through the spy-hole to see a man with a trolley. “Room service,” he says through the door.
“I didn’t order room service,” I reply.
“It was sent by another guest.”
I groan, unlocking the door. “Of course, it was.” He smiles awkwardly and pushes the trolley inside.
“May I set up for you on the balcony?” he asks politely.
“Is that where you were told to set it up?” He nods. “Then go ahead.”
The mobile phone rings and I answer with a heavy sigh. “It’s a beautiful view of the tower. I thought we could watch the sunset together.” I watch the waiter set up the table for one and am relieved Ivan isn’t joining me. “I’m also on my balcony eating dinner.”
“I’m not hungry,” I lie, ignoring the protest of my stomach.
“Then just sit and watch the sunset.”
The waiter pulls out my chair, and I reluctantly lower into it. He goes to pour some wine and I shake my head. He nods and removes the dome covering my plate before taking his trolley and leaving.
“Pasta,” he says. “Your favourite.”
I scowl, hating that he knows those things about me. “When will you get bored, Ivan?”
“Of you? Never.”
“Of waiting,” I say. “When will you decide you’ve had enough playing the nice guy and you’ll force me back to England with you?”
“I don’t plan on ever forcing you again, Grace.” His words sound sincere, but I know deep down I can’t trust him. “We’ll move at your pace.”
“My pace is moving towards never gonna happen, so stop wasting your time.”
“I’m working on becoming better,” he says. “For you.”
I roll my eyes. “How?”
“You want a list?”
“Yes.”
He laughs. “Name the things I should change, and we’ll start there.”
“Stalking,” I throw out, and he laughs again. “Obsessive behaviours. Forcing me to have dinner on a balcony while listening to you talk crap on the telephone.”
“You don’t like the pasta?”
“I don’t like the company.”
“Lies, Grace. I was there, and you can’t deny the spark we had. You can keep lying and telling me how you hate me, but we both know the truth.”
“That’s another thing. Telling me how I feel, what I’m thinking . . . you don’t even know me, not really. You spent the first few weeks trying to make me be exactly like her,” I snap.
“You sound jealous.”
I scoff. “Of your dead wife? She suffered, and I don’t plan to.”
“Do we always have to fight?” he asks, sighing heavily. “It’s thrilling, but sometimes, we should just talk.”
“About what?”
“Our future.”
“We don’t have one.”
“Our child?” I pause, letting his words sink in. “You left in such a hurry, you forgot to hide the evidence.”
“You went through the waste bin at the hotel? That’s stalkerish.”
“We have a connection.”
“You forced this on me. I never wanted a child with you. You’re so fucking delusional.”
“So, why haven’t you taken care of it?” he asks, and I place a protective hand over my stomach. I must be at least twelve weeks, but there’s still no sign of a bump. I’ve thought about abortion, of course I have, but the second the thought enters my head, I quash it. It’s not this innocent child’s fault, and I refuse to rush into such a huge decision when I owe it to this baby to give it a chance.
“You’d be a terrible father,” I say.
“I want it so badly,” he admits.
I laugh bitterly. “So you can fuck it’s head up, make a mini version of you?”
“So I can make my life complete. Having a family is something I’ve wanted for such a long time.”
“You told me you wanted a kid to take over your business. That’s never going to happen with my child.”
“Our child.”
“My child,” I snap, possessiveness taking hold. “You will never get a chance to mess it up so badly.”
“My father was a terrible man too,” he says quietly. “He would beat me until my skin blistered and bled.” I hear her gasp. “He wanted me to be as cold as him.”
“It worked.”
“I don’t want to be like him, Grace. Help me to be better.”
I go inside and grab Lara’s diary from my bedside and take it back outside. I open it and take a bite of my pasta before reading. “Dear Diary . . .”
“Can’t we have one night of peace?” asks Ivan patiently.
“If you don’t want to listen, hang up,” I retort, continuing. “I have the money and my bags are packed. I went out to dinner with Ivan this evening. It ended in tears. Again. His jealousy is ridiculous seeing as he’s the one cheating on me. When we got home, we fought so hard that he ripped my dress from me. He insisted I sleep in our bedroom, but there was no way I was going to, not after what happened to me in there. And knowing he’s got someone else. Of course, I couldn’t tell him any of that—”
“She taunted me,” says Ivan, and I fall silent. “She told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore and that she’d fucked most of my men. I thought she was trying to make me jealous. I wish I’d have killed them all. Maybe then she’d have told me the truth instead of me hearing like this, like she’s speaking from beyond the damn grave.”
I wait for him to finish before continuing. “Because he’d say I was lying, just like he always does. Yet he’s the liar. Not me. I tested the waters, told him I’d fucked half his men. He smashed things, yelled, called me a lying whore. Then he left. Tomorrow, he’ll tell me he’s sorry. He’ll buy me flowers and promise me a weekend away, just the two of us. Only it never is because Maxim somehow always appears. But I’ll take full advantage. I’ll take his guilt money and tell him I’m shopping, then I’ll leave. For good.”
“She did leave,” he says. “For good.”
“But not in the way she’d planned. Do you think Maxim discovered her plan?”
“Maybe. It would explain a lot.”
“Or maybe he always wanted her out the way. Maybe he needed to get rid of her to make you weaker?”
He gives an empty laugh. “It worked. I took my eye off the ball.”
“You became so obsessed trying to find her killer, yet he was right under your nose.”
“I have to live with that forever,” he replies.
“Good.”
“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me, Grace?”
I disconnect. It’s easier than telling him the truth.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
IVAN
I refuse to leave Paris to meet with my associates and instead invite them here to settle their unease. Andrei sits to my right as my associates file into the boardroom I hired at the hotel. Most of them know Andrei Lebedev because of his dealings in the trafficking trade. But most won’t trust him if they’ve never had dealings with him, and I’m not sure if my word will be enough to console them.
I wait for everyone to settle before sitting forward and placing my clasped hands on the table, a sign I’m relaxed. “Thank you all for coming. Most of you know Andrei already, so I’ll skip the introductions.”
“Get to the part where you tell us you’re pulling out of the deals we’ve made,” snaps Vadim.
I fix him with an annoyed glare before continuing. “First of all, let me say that nothing will change. Everything will run exactly as it has for the last ten years.”
“But?” Otto pipes up.
“But I am unable to give the project my full attention.”
“I knew this would happen the second we were told Maxim was dead,” Dmitry spits.
“Maybe his doubts in you were correct,” another mutters, and I turn my full attention to him. He shrinks slightly in his chair, and the others glance at one another nervously.
“Maxim’s doubts were unfounded. If any of you are unhappy with how I run things, please feel free to speak now.” I stare at each and every one of them. “Maxim went behind my back and he paid the price. I will not tolerate men I cannot trust. Don’t give me a reason to doubt any of you.”
“So, what exactly are you proposing?” asks Vadim.
“Like I said, everything stays the same. The only difference is, instead of me running the project, Andrei will be taking over.”
“Just like that?” he asks.
I nod. “I’ll spend my time on the other projects.” Shipping weapons and drugs to their countries brings me enough income to continue to live my comfortable lifestyle. I’ve never really needed the trafficking side of things.
“If the decision is made, then no more discussion is needed,” Vadim says, standing. “The bar is calling.”
Alek hands me a drink the second I enter the bar. “Everything good?” he asks in a low voice.
I nod. “Grace?” I’d asked him to watch her room in case she decided to go anywhere.
“She’s not left the building.”
“Good. Let me know if anything changes,” I say before turning my attention to the men.
Alek reappears an hour later. “Boss, she’s left her room,” he whispers.
I hate the thought of her being out alone in a place she doesn’t know, so I immediately stand. “Gentlemen, I have to excuse myself. Could you . . .” My words trail off when Grace enters the bar.
Seeing her properly for the first time in weeks stuns me, and I stare at her with my mouth half open. Alek nudges me, bringing me back to the situation. “Actually, forget it. Anyone need a top-up?”
Grace wanders to the bar, and I slide into the booth so I’m less visible. She’s too far away for me to hear her voice, but the bartender smiles and sets about pouring her an orange juice. I smile to myself—she’s taking care of my child.
More people begin to fill the bar, making it less likely she will spot me, and I begin to relax, enjoying that I’m able to watch her undetected.
GRACE
I booked a table for eight o’clock, so I check my watch. I needed to get out of that room, and I didn’t want to risk another balcony dinner with Ivan.
A man brushes his arm against my own, and when I look up, he smiles. He’s good-looking, and I automatically smile back. “You’re here alone?” he asks. I choose not to reply, not wanting to put myself in danger by admitting I’m alone.
“I’m about to have dinner,” I tell him.
“The food here is spectacular,” he continues. “Timothy, by the way,” he adds, holding out his hand.
I shake it. “Grace.”
“Lovely to meet you, Grace. I’m here on business for a few nights. You?”
“Same,” I mutter, taking a sip of my orange juice. “What do you do?”
“I work in finance.”
My bag begins to vibrate, and I inwardly curse. I’m not sure why I brought the mobile phone Ivan gave me. Maybe it was because I wanted to gloat that I wasn’t in the hotel room waiting for him to feed me. “Sorry,” I apologise, cancelling the call. “Finance, sounds important?”
He grins. “It’s boring, really. What do you do?”
The phone rings again. “I’m really sorry,” I repeat, “I should take this.” I turn my back slightly as I press it to my ear. “I’m busy,” I hiss.
“Lose him or I will make a scene,” says Ivan firmly.
My eyes widen as I try to look around the bar without making it too obvious. “We’re just talking.”
“I mean it, Grace, don’t test me.”
“You’re not my husband. You’re not anything to me,” I remind him, still trying to pinpoint his location.
“I’m currently sitting with twelve very dangerous men. I can make your friend disappear.”
“Do you see why this would never work?” I hiss. “You’re not the boss of me, and you don’t get to decide who I talk to.” I disconnect the call and stuff it back into my bag. “Sorry about that. If you haven’t eaten, you’re more than welcome to join me,” I offer, not because I want him to join me but because I want to prove a point.
He grins. “I’d love to. Thank you.”
A waiter comes over to tell me my table is ready. We stand to follow him, and two men in suits move quickly, hooking arms with Timothy and leading him towards the exit. He tries to shrug them off, clearly confused as to why he’d be removed from the bar. I groan, spinning in a circle until my eyes land on Ivan. Everything stops, I inhale sharply, and the people around me blur away into distant noise. For a second, I feel like it’s just the two of us. My heart pounds wildly. I want to run, but I also want to throw my arms around him and inhale the scent of his spicy aftershave. I subconsciously run my hand through my hair and release the breath I’m holding.
The room slowly comes back into view, but Ivan makes no move towards me. I force myself to take a few steps closer. He watches, arching a brow. “Call them off,” I whisper. “I mean it, Ivan. Call them off now.”
He runs a hand over his stubbled jaw before taking his mobile from his pocket and pressing a button. He casually places it to his ear and says something in Russian. “Done,” he tells me, tucking it back into his pocket. “Enjoy your dinner,” he adds, turning his back to me as he adds, “Alone.”
I command my shaky legs to move, but instead of going for dinner, I head for the elevator. I suddenly feel sick and have the urge to lie down. As the elevator doors are closing, I see Timothy entering the hotel again, straightening his jacket and looking pissed. At least he wasn’t injured.
It’s a few hours later when the mobile phone rings. I mute the television and answer his call. “You didn’t eat,” he states.
“Stop checking up on me.”
“You need to eat, for the child.”
“If you cared about this child at all, you’d leave me alone.”
He chuckles. “That’s not going to happen, Grace. Let me bring you some food.”
“No.”
“I saw it in your eyes.”
“What did you see, Ivan?”
“Love.”
I laugh this time. “Unbelievable. You really are deluded.”
“Read me something from the diary,” he mutters. “Not something bad. Read me something good.”
“Good?” I repeat.
“There were good times, before it all turned bad. She must have written about those?”
I sigh, reaching for the diary and opening to the first page. “Dear Diary, I don’t remember ever feeling like this before. I’m starting the new year with a new diary and a new story. Hopefully, it’ll have a happy ending.” I scoff. She had no idea what she was walking into.
“I’ve moved in with Ivan. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am. His house is huge, and he has staff. I’ve never met anyone who has staff. Maria cooks and cleans, and she is lovely. The rest are men, and they don’t really speak to me. There’s a floor for the staff, so Maxim also lives here. He’s been kind, showing me around and offering to drive me anywhere I want to go.
“And then there’s Ivan. My one true love. Every time I think of him, my heart beats faster. I’m his whole world and it shows because he can’t do enough for me.” I slam it closed, refusing to believe this man ever existed. “This is bullshit,” I say. “She can’t have known you at all.”
“She knew me, Grace. Better than anyone. We were in love.”
“So, what changed? Did she know what you did for a living?”
“She didn’t ask questions.”
“Of course, she didn’t. She had no idea what kind of monster you really were.”
“I wasn’t always like this,” he admits.
“So, I’ll ask again, what changed?” I move over to the balcony, opening the doors and taking in the cool evening air.
“I got in too deep. I listened to Maxim and Lev. I thought being bigger was what I needed. And then I lost her, and everything fell apart. And I don’t mean when she died. That was the final nail in the coffin, but I’d lost her months before that, and I couldn’t stand her being so cold and distant. It was like I couldn’t breathe when we were off balance.”
“Well, this is who you are now, so you have to live with it.”
“You don’t believe people can change?” he asks.
“No,” I say firmly.
“So, you’re still a cheating, lying whore?”
I gasp. “No.”
“Would your ex agree, if he was still alive?”
“I fucked up. It was a mistake, and I apologised over and over.”
“And now, if you met someone, married, settled down, you can honestly say it would never happen again?” he asks.
“I’ve learned my lesson.”
“And so have I,” he says, sounding satisfied.
“It’s not the same thing,” I screech. “You steal women and sell them as sex slaves. I cheated. People do that all the time.”
“It doesn’t matter how we got here, Grace. The fact is, we both did shit things that hurt the one person we loved. And it ultimately led to their death. We both have blood on our hands, you just choose to see it differently.”
I disconnect the call. I am nothing like him, and I resent him comparing us.
IVAN
I check myself one last time in the mirror. Alek hands me the bouquet of flowers and bottle of non-alcohol Champagne. “I hope it goes well,” he tells me, and I nod, heading for the door.
So far, I’ve kept my distance from Grace, apart from the night in the bar a week ago. I’ve been patient. Now, I need to show her I’m serious about us.
