We Are Destiny, page 2
When my phone buzzes, I chance a look to see one of my buddies asking if I want to go to a party.
Needing to get out of the house and my mind off everything, I text him back to pick me up.
Once everyone is asleep, I sneak outside and into my buddy’s car.
I spend the rest of the night drowning myself in rum until I’m too blitzed to think, to feel. I pass out into a dreamless slumber, not remembering where I am. Not a single care in the world at the moment.
My life is over, so why should I care?
CHAPTER 2
Spencer
Age 21
“Spencer, honey!” mom shouts from downstairs. “Your sister and Knox are here!”
“Coming!” I shout back as I take one last look around my room.
I don’t want to go to Calling Wood. Just the idea of it makes my stomach turn. Calling Wood is a school for Omegas to go and meet their packs; find Alphas to love and adore them, to take care of them.
None of that is what I want. I don’t want a pack, I don’t want any fucking Alphas. The only Alpha I ever wanted has a pack of her own; an Omega of her own.
A wave of sorrow passes over me as I think about her happy, in love, and bonded to someone else. But I swallow it down and put on the mask I’ve been hiding behind for years. It’s like a natural instinct at this point.
The only reason I’m going is because my dads practically begged me to. They’re convinced that all I need to do is go there and I’ll find the Alphas I’m meant to be with. That I just need to give it a chance.
I don’t have the heart to keep fighting them on it. Not after what I’ve put them through the past two years.
Ivy. Fucking Ivy. She’s still the star in my thoughts. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. She’s changed so much since she left for Calling Wood.
She’s still stunning, the rarest gem, with long black hair and covered in tattoos.
I used to think that when I presented as an Alpha and her an Omega, I’d grow into my body and the age thing wouldn’t have mattered. Boy was I ever fucking wrong, because she’s the one who ended up being an Alpha and me an Omega. It’s like the universe didn’t want us together as much as I did.
She emerged first as an Alpha. I still had hope that I would too, and maybe, just maybe, I could join whatever pack she had formed.
All of it was just a stupid, childish dream.
When I presented as an Omega, that’s when the whole facade I had built up in my head came crashing down. At that point, she already had a pack with two Alphas and an Omega, bonded with mate marks and everything. At least that’s what I saw on her social media.
That’s the only way I knew anything about her life.
My sister has always known my feelings for Ivy and really tried to avoid talking about her or her life around me. I love her for that, but it didn’t matter because I’d torture myself by looking her up, staring at her photos like some kind of stalker.
I started to spiral at the realization she would never be mine. My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces, never to be put back together again.
Alcohol became my best friend, taking the pain away, and leaving space for the darker thoughts to take over. After Tia left, I started hanging out with the wrong people, getting into trouble.
I might be an Omega, but you can’t tell by my looks, only my scent. I can’t even count the number of times people would laugh in amusement when they got a whiff of my scent, swearing they thought I was an Alpha.
I should have presented as a fucking Alpha. There is nothing Omega about me. There’s no overwhelming need inside me to find a pack, to be pampered, or to build a life or family.
Maybe that has nothing to do with how my Omega instinct should be and everything to do with the fact that if I can’t have Ivy Sinclair, I don’t want anyone else.
That brings us to the here and now. My parents are worried that if I stay here, I’m going to end up needing to go to rehab.
The fear in their eyes every time they pick me up from a bender guts me. That’s really why I’m doing this; because I love my family, and I hate that I’ve put them through so much. I didn’t mean to, I just needed the pain to stop... for the thoughts to dim. To be numb.
“Spencer!” my mom shouts again, snapping me out of my inner thoughts.
Shaking my head, I blink my past away from the front of my mind and grab my duffle bag off my bed.
“Sorry. Just wanted to make sure I didn’t leave anything behind,” I tell her as I make my way down the stairs.
“Hey there, little brother,” Tia greets. Looking over at the door, I find her standing there with her Beta, Knox.
“Hey,” I reply. Even though I’m not in the best of moods, I smile at how amazing my sister looks. “Pregnancy looks good on you, sis.”
Tia went to Calling Wood determined to find her scent match. And she was lucky enough to do just that. She stayed at the school after the first year to get her degree in teaching. She didn’t want to settle down into home life right away; she wanted a career of her own. Life had other plans, and by her second year at Calling Wood, she got pregnant. I’m happy for her and grateful that her Alphas aren’t demanding she quit school to be a mom. They’re all planning on helping her care for their baby, so she can still follow her dreams.
“Damn right, it does,” Knox growls, pulling my sister into his arms and kissing the top of her head. She blushes as a smile that screams madly in love spreads across her face.
A pang of jealousy hits me. I’m happy for my sister, I really am. She has a pack of amazing guys who treat her like a Queen. But a part of me wishes I have what she has. With Ivy.
“Thank you,” she tells me. “But I feel like a whale.” She sighs, rubbing her belly. “And I’m only half way through my pregnancy.”
“You stop that, young lady,” Mom scolds her. “You are growing a human inside you. You look amazing, and you're doing an amazing job.”
“Thanks, Mama,” Tia says, her eyes tearing up. “Sorry,” she says, wiping at her face. “Ugh, these pregnancy hormones are a nightmare. I’m already emotional enough being an Omega, then add these on top... it sucks sometimes.”
“You ready to go?” Knox asks me. “Where are all of your boxes?”
“This is it,” I tell him, holding up the bag in my hand.
He raises a brow. “Are you sure?”
“Don’t the apartments come fully furnished?” I ask, raising a brow back at him.
“Yeah, but you're an Omega,” Knox says, as if that should explain everything.
“And your point is?” I ask, narrowing my eyes, sounding more defensive than I should. “What? Should I have thirty bags and boxes packed with a bunch of blankets, pillows, and all of that bullshit?” I scoff. “I have what I need,” I reiterate, gripping the handle of my bag tighter.
“Hey, it’s okay. He didn’t mean anything by it,” Tia says as my heart pounds in my chest, my anger rising. Fuck, I hate that I’m so damn emotional lately.
When an Omega turns twenty one, they only have about a month after their birthday before they go into their first heat. My birthday was two weeks ago, leaving me cutting it close to my heat.
My parents wanted me enrolled and attending by my birthday like my sister did, but it took them time to convince me.
I’ve never felt so much like an Omega than I have the past few days. Cramps, hot flashes, random fucking erections that no amount of jacking off seem to help. I’m sure as fuck not looking forward to going into heat.
“Sorry,” I sigh, running a hand over my face. “I didn’t mean to act like a dick.”
“Nah, man, it’s cool. If that’s all you got, then I can toss it in the trunk.”
“Thanks,” I say, handing the bag over to him.
My parents give Tia a hug and kiss goodbye before she waddles her way after Knox.
“Hey,” my dad Russell says, placing his hands on my shoulder as he looks into my eyes. “I’m proud of you,” he says. “We all are. We love you, and we hate seeing you hurting like this. Watching our son drink himself away... fuck.” He closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, and guilt fills me, making my shoulders sag.
“I didn’t mean to worry you guys. I–I just,” I sigh, letting my sentence drift off, not sure what to tell them. I’m sure they know my feelings toward Ivy; hell, everyone but Ivy most likely does.
“We know. We just want you to be happy and healthy,” he says, giving me a sad smile. “We really do think that you just need to meet some Alphas. And before you know it, you will find the pack you're meant to be with.”
They probably think I’m stupid for pining after someone so deeply when she was never really mine to begin with. And maybe I am, but fuck, the things I feel for Ivy... I can’t put into words.
“Yeah, Dad. Sure.” I give him a forced smile, but he doesn’t buy it.
After saying my goodbyes to my dads, my mom practically throws herself at me. “I’m gonna miss you,” she sobs into my chest.
“Mom,” I say, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. “Tia comes to visit all the time. I’ll make sure to come home with her when she does, okay?”
“You better. I can’t believe all my babies are gone. Left me!” She starts to cry again. She’s still crying as I kiss her cheek and let one of my other dads take her away to comfort her.
“Do you have your meds?” my dad asks, giving me a hard look.
“Yes. I just got them refilled the other day,” I tell him.
“I had your doctor send all your files over to the doctor at Calling Wood. When you run out, just go see him, okay? Here’s his card,” he says, handing me a business card.
“Thanks,” I tell him, shoving the card into my hoodie pocket.
“I’m serious, Spencer. Don’t miss a day, it will mess with your body. Anxiety and depression isn’t something to take lightly, especially in an Omega.”
“I won't,” I growl in response. His eyes widen for a moment before softening again.
“Go. Your sister is waiting. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I reply, giving him a hug before turning around and leaving.
Tia is standing by the car waiting for me. “All good? Ready to go?” she asks me, giving me a small smile.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I tell her, giving her a smile of my own. She sees right through it.
She casts a nervous glance at Knox, who’s waiting in the car, and back at me. Lowering her voice, she asks, “Are you going to be okay? I know how much you didn’t want to come to Calling Wood.”
“I have a plan,” I laugh. “Avoid those four like the plague and everything will be fine.” It’s a load of crap, but maybe if I tell myself that enough, I can trick myself into believing it.
“I’m really sorry,” she says, looking like she’s ready to cry again. “I hate this for you. As your big sister, I want to help you so bad.”
“Don’t,” I tell her firmly. “I swear, Tia, if you tell her anything when it comes to me and my feelings toward her, I’ll never forgive you.”
She closes her eyes, and a few tear drops roll down her cheeks. “She’s my best friend and you're my brother. This kills me, you know?”
“I know,” I say, pulling her into a hug. I feel like an ass now.
“When did you get so tall?” she says with a sniff.
“What?” I huff out a laugh as I look down at her with amusement.
“And did you get more tattoos? I swear every time I see you, you have five more. You're running out of skin.”
“I love ink, what can I say.” I shrug.
“You sure you're not an Alpha?” she says, narrowing her eyes at me playfully.
“Fuck, do I ever wish I was,” I mutter.
“Crap.” Her face falls. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. Let’s just get going. I still have to meet with the dean, get assigned a Beta guard, and get settled into my new apartment.”
Tia nods, and I open her door for her, helping her get in. As soon as I shut the door, Knox is helping her put her seat belt on. She really did get lucky with such an amazing pack.
The car ride there is quiet, with only the sounds of the radio to accompany us. As I watch the trees pass by, my mind drifts to her. Every time I close my eyes, I see her.
Knowing better, and unable to help myself, I dig into the pocket of my hoodie to grab my bottle of pills. Making sure no one is watching, I quickly open the cap, slide one out, and pop the little green pill into my mouth, swallowing it dry.
I know I shouldn’t, I already took my depression meds today. But I’ve learned by accident that by taking an extra one or two helps quiet my thoughts, giving me a little peace for the moment.
I must have drifted off to sleep because the next time I open my eyes, I’m at Calling Wood. Dread fills me as we drive through the gates of the school. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths, trying to stop the panic attack that threatens to creep in.
“Here we are,” Knox says as he pulls up to the front steps of the school.
I’ve been here before, I know where everything is because Tia brought me on a tour this summer. So thankfully, I can cross that off my list. I just want to meet with the dean and get to my new place.
The longer we’re out here in the open, the greater the chance I run into Ivy or one of her pack members. I know it’s stupid, and I won’t be able to avoid them all for forever, but I don’t need to see any of them on my first day here.
“Do you need me to come in with you?” Tia asks as I open my door to get out.
“No. I should be good,” I tell her as I close the door and lean into her open window, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“Text me when you get into your new place, okay? I’ll check in tomorrow. We can have lunch before your first day on Monday.”
“Sounds good. Love you, T,” I tell her.
“Love you too, Spence,” she says, her eyes welling with worry for me.
“I’ll be fine,” I tell her, giving her another quick peck on the cheek before going to the trunk that Knox has open for me. After grabbing my bag, I wave goodbye and head up the stairs.
The moment I walk into the building, I’m on high alert; my eyes darting around as I walk toward the dean’s office. Classes are done for the week, but the school still has people walking around.
As I turn around, I bump into someone. “Sorry,” a gruff voice says as they hold me by the shoulder to steady me. Fuck, my whole body reacts, shivering in response. I’ve never reacted to anyone like this before.
Taking a step back, I look up to find one of the very people I’ve been wanting to avoid. Calix. Ivy’s pack mate, who also happens to be her stepbrother. “Spencer,” he whispers, sounding a little shocked himself.
I blink up at him, frozen in the moment as I take him in. He looks different than in his photos I’ve seen of him and his pack online. He’s massive, like a good half a foot taller than me, and I’m six foot already. His shoulder-length blond hair falls over the side of his face.
“Spencer,” he says again, this time his voice back to normal. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, his nostrils flaring as his eyes take me in.
“I-I gotta go,” I stammer out, stepping back so his hands drop from my shoulders. Darting around him, I take off, sprinting to the dean’s office.
What the fuck? What the actual fuck! I must have manifested it into existence the moment I thought about how much I didn’t want to run into any of them! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I’m a mess now, my heart pounding, and I feel like I’m gonna be sick.
As I get to the dean’s office, I risk a glance behind me and let out a breath of relief when I don’t see him there.
Chest heaving, I put my back to the wall for support and close my eyes. The ringing in my ears is taking longer to settle. What fucking good are my anxiety meds if I’m acting like a skittish animal all the damn time.
“Spencer Lockheart?” Opening my eyes, I find the dean standing in her office doorway, looking at me with concern. “Are you alright?”
I’m quick to plaster a smile on my face. “I’m fine!” I say cheerfully. “Just ran here, so I wasn’t late.”
“Oh,” she says, looking behind me, then back to me. “Well, come on in. Let’s get you all settled.”
Thankfully, by the time I sit down in the seat in front of her desk my breathing is back to normal, and the ringing in my ears stopped.
“So. Again, welcome to Calling Wood. We are so excited to have you attending our school. Now, as you know, your first year here will be just the basic Omega classes that are vital for a happy pack life. If you do choose to stay and continue your education after that, we have a number of amazing courses for you to take for just about any career you choose.” She ruffles through a few things on her desk before handing me a brown envelope. “In here will be the map of campus, your apartment keys, and all the information packets, along with your class schedule.”
“Thank you,” I say, taking the envelope from her.
“You have been assigned a Beta guard. He is to be with you any time you leave the Omega compound. We don’t allow unmated Omegas to be unattended. It’s for your safety as well as everyone else’s. If at any point you find a pack, you are not required but encouraged to have your guard at least on the same property as you until you are officially bonded to a pack.”
“Alright,” I say, giving her a nod as I run my tattooed hand through my sweaty brown locks. I’ve already heard a lot about how Beta guards work from Tia, however I don’t see myself ending up with mine like she did. I’m just glad this guy won't be up my ass twenty-four seven.
“As for your upcoming heat. We have some options for you to choose from. Your apartment has a room with a nest in it so if you choose to go through it alone, you will be provided with everything you would need, and your guard will be stationed outside your apartment rather than leave you at the compound gate. However, if you would like to sign up for our program, we can set up some meetings with available packs. Our goal is to find you a permanent pack, but most are willing to be temporary packs for heats.”
