Old Man's Apocalypse | Book 1 | Old Man's War, page 7
part #1 of Old Man's Apocalypse Series
Ollie watched me slump to the ground and rest my head on my backpack. “What’s up with the Duke ‘watch’ order?”
I took a deep breath so I wouldn’t huff and puff while answering. “Believe it or not, Duke is a highly trained guard dog. I’ve gotten lazy over the years and let him be friendly with strangers, but don’t mistake his playfulness with incompetence. If I say attack with his name in front, he’ll attack the person I tell him to attack.”
Duke’s head rose every time I said the word attack. Maria changed the subject. “Am I as light as you thought I’d be?”
My eyes rolled back in my head, and I stifled a laugh. “Lighter, much lighter.”
Laughing, Maria said, “See, that’s what a good man would say. My last boyfriend thought I should lose ten pounds. I kicked his butt to the curb.”
I responded without thinking. “He’s a jerk. Both of you are perfect for you. Most women would give anything to look like either of you. My Emma was built like Maria, and I thought she was perfect.”
My face felt hot, and I shut up. Ollie pointed at me. “He’s blushing under all that dirt.”
Maria tried to stand up but fell back on her butt. “You two have rested enough. It’s time to go home so I can get some beauty sleep.”
The following two miles were torture on my back and calves. My back ached, and my calves burned. We stopped the third time at Orleans Drive, and I walked over to an abandoned home before setting Maria down. “I’ll need a longer rest this time. Ollie, please fix something to eat. I’m bushed.”
I searched the home before I lay down on the porch to rest for fifteen minutes. I guess I fell asleep because I woke up with a sharp pain on my chin and opened my eyes to see Maria pulling on my beard. She said, “His beard is real!”
They both laughed as I sputtered to wake up. “Of course, my beard is real, and that hurt. What possessed you to tug on my beard?”
Ollie twirled something above her head. “Apparently, scalping you didn’t hurt, or this nasty opossum died on your head.”
She held my wig. “Give that back to me. Don’t you have any respect for your elders?”
Maria laughed, “And you stink! Ollie can’t smell, but my nose is gagging. How old are you? I guessed about ninety when I first saw you, but now without the wig, I’m guessing maybe fifty.”
“I’m fifty-eight years young. I’m old enough to be your father. Now, shape up before I spank your asses.”
Maria pulled my beard again. “In your dreams, old man. I’m a black belt in Karate. I’ll kick your ass in a fair fight!”
“I don’t care about that fancy stuff. I’m well versed in dirty fighting. Never go into a fight thinking you will fight fair. Go in to beat or kill the other person. Fighting fair will get you killed these days. Kick 'em in the groin or bite an ear off.”
Ollie’s eyes opened, and she helped Maria to her feet. “You are one mean son of a bitch.”
I lifted Maria on my back. “Surviving these days is mean son of a bitch work. You two have some great skills but don’t know jack shit about surviving. We’ll work on that.”
Maria kissed my neck and then spat. “You’re a good man but taste like dog shit.”
“That’s because I rubbed dog shit on my neck and arms.”
Of course, I lied about the dog shit, but Maria had to rinse her mouth out several times, and Emma laughed her ass off. That’s figurative. Ghosts don’t have asses - do they?
*
Chapter 10 - Ladies in the House
My burned down mansion/basement
We rested three more times before we arrived at my home. I ached all over but didn’t show it to the women. I’m old but still have a smidgen of pride. I felt a huge relief when I set Maria down, and we helped her to the couch. I left the two alone and went back to my room. I wanted to collapse on my bed but stripped down and took a hot shower. Yes, a hot shower. I’d rigged up several barrels to catch rain, and the sun heated the water. The holding drums were hidden in the rubble on the second floor.
I’d scrubbed off several layers of grime and rancid animal fat and almost didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. My face was lean, and my body was covered in muscle. The fat old man I’d been a couple of years ago had melted away. Yeah, my hair and beard had a lot of gray hair, but I looked much better than I ever thought I would. I had to leave my stringy beard, but it kinda made me look a lot like Howard Hughes after he went crazy. Crazy scares people and makes them very uncomfortable. I liked the crazy look.
My bed beckoned me, and my pillow felt darn good. I closed my eyes and didn’t even say good night to Emma. I had a very restful sleep until just before waking up. I had some great dreams that I hope Emma didn’t know about and then a nightmare about a man stalking the girls and me trying to stop him from taking them. I must have shouted in my sleep because Duke jumped on top of me, and I saw Ollie staring at me. “Jeff, are you okay?”
I pulled the sheet over me and tried to gather my thoughts. My heart raced, and my temples pounded. Fear gripped me. “I had a nightmare about ….” Then it dawned on me that my brain had brought something forward from the back of my mind. “At the fort, I saw someone duck into an open door. We passed by that door when Duke tackled me and then went into the other door when we heard Maria.”
Ollie’s mouth opened, but no words came out for a moment. Then she said, “There’s someone else on the island, and they probably followed us back here.”
I thought back and searched my mind for any other evidence of someone else on the island. The many times my traps had been sprung, but there wasn’t any game in them. The odd footprints that looked out of place were now more suspicious. My trotlines losing bait, but only a few fish caught was now more circumstantial evidence of another person on my island.
Running my fingers through my hair and rubbing my jaw helped me think. “The person didn’t contact or hurt Maria. The more I think about it, the person has been here for some time. I’ve had some unexplainable events that all put together points strongly at the fact that we have company that doesn’t want to be found.”
Maria yelled from the living room. “Maybe another person escaped from a slaver group, or maybe you have a shy neighbor who survived.”
I told Ollie to turn around so I could get dressed. After dressing, I joined Ollie and Maria in my small living room. “Maria, let me help you to the kitchen table. I’ll fix some eggs and fish for breakfast.”
Maria saw me enter the living room. “Boy, do you clean up real good. You look like a businessman who became a vagrant in San Francisco.”
“I can’t get rid of my stringy beard. It would ruin my efforts to make the slavers and raiders think I’m not worth their effort.”
Maria scratched her chin. “Don’t you hide from them?”
“Yes, but they come by boat on the Gulf, and I’m afraid they’ll scan the shore with binoculars before landing. I don’t look like a threat or a man they could sell when I’m in my costume and dirt.”
Maria said, “One whiff, and they’d run from you.”
I chuckled. “That’s the idea.”
Ollie helped me move Maria to the table, and I prepared our meal. Both of the ladies ate my food as though they hadn’t eaten in days. Watching them eat, I knew I had to get them to help me gather food and tend my little farm on the beached ship. First, we had to make sure we were safe from this new threat. The women were both a drain on my resources and a big help with their skills. They needed to learn how to fight and survive. Skills I’d learned the hard way.
Ollie looked up with a mouthful of fish. She chewed quickly. “I can read your mind. You’re thinking we’re eating you out of house and home.”
“No! I’m thinking that I need to get you two helping with my small farm and improving our skills. I know things you two don’t know, and I’m sure you can teach me some skills.”
Ollie finished eating and began to wash the dishes. “Tell us about your little farm. I haven’t seen anything like a garden on the island.”
“You saw my little farm the other day.”
Ollie looked at me as though I had two heads. “I call BS on that. I never saw a garden or animals.”
Some people have to be taken to the water. “Remember that grounded ship about a quarter-mile west of here?”
“Yes, I wanted to explore it, and you made me move on to find Maria.”
I paused a minute to build suspense. “My farm is on the deck of the ship. I’m surprised you wanted to go aboard with the biohazard signs all over it.”
Ollie looked over to Maria. “I guess Maria will have to stay here and clean house while we go tend the garden and look for the stalker. We almost forgot your new lawn ornament.”
I didn’t get it, and then a light bulb glowed in my brain. “The trawler. Yes, we need to search it. Let’s find the stalker and tend to the garden first.”
Maria’s leg was propped up on a kitchen chair. “I know where we can find a wheelchair and some crutches. We’ll get some work out of your sister, yet.”
Maria smiled and then gave me the finger. “I could just sit on the couch, eat bonbons, and watch TV. That’s if we had bonbons and TV.”
I opened the end table’s drawer and presented her with the remote for the TV and another for my laptop. I showed her how to use them to find and show one of my thousands of movies. “See, we have a bit of civilization here on Dauphin Island.”
Ollie patted her sister on the head. “Get your work done before you start binging on TV. Hey, where do you get the power for the TV and lights?”
“Remember those windows above us that survived the fire. They’re not windows. They’re windows with solar panels built into them. I had those installed just after they came on the market in 2033. They were expensive but powered the entire house and even handled the air conditioning. I have a few spares I place outside when those two don’t keep up with my small air conditioner.”
Both ladies stared at me with open mouths. “You have air conditioning?”
My mouth had outraced my brain. I had told them too much. “Well, only in my bedroom. It’s a small portable unit I scavenged from one of the restaurants.”
Maria shook all over. “I’m sleeping with him … uh … sleeping in the room … on my own bed.”
Ollie saw the anger on my face. “Maybe we’d better ask first and not assume. It appears we hit a touchy subject.”
Taking a deep breath, I told the truth. “I’ll bring one of the cots in the room and sleep on it. You two can have the big bed. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself for telling you too much. I’m getting too comfortable around you when I need to be guarded. I’ve been alone so long that I think I’m enjoying your company too much. We all need to be wary of strangers.”
We finished straightening up and moved the cot into my bedroom after moving a couple of chairs out. I pushed the bed against the opposite wall from the larger bed. “Do we hang a sheet for privacy?”
Ollie said, “No! It will be just like sharing a big tent while camping. You’ll have to sleep in some clothing. No sleeping in the buff, buddy.”
I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Not a problem. I have some gym shorts I can sleep in, but I’ve been sleeping nude since I married Emma. I’ll miss it.”
Maria limped into the room. “We need to work on a bathroom schedule. Ladies need more time than men.”
I made the timeout sign. “I was married to a lady one time myself and had a daughter. I know all about ladies and their needs. We’ll have to scavenge for ladies’ hygiene stuff. Most of the homes have leftover lady stuff. I didn’t have any use for the items, so it’s still ready to be taken.”
Maria looked at Ollie. “What about women’s undies. I’ve been wearing the same undies for a week.”
I gagged and cleared my throat. “That’s too much information for me. There are drawers and closets full of everything from thongs and camisoles to granny panties in the beach houses and hotels.”
Maria flopped down on the bed. “Can we clean up the other bedroom to store our clothes and use as a dressing room?”
There it was right in front of me. These two weren’t leaving anytime soon.
Ollie heard the sudden release of breath as my shoulders slumped. “I forgot what you told me at first. You wanted me off the island as soon as possible. Is that still true?”
Thinking fast, I had one of my better recoveries. “No, you’re both welcome to stay. This is like a puppy following a kid home, and the mother says hell no until she looks into the puppy’s eyes and sees it needs a home. Then she’s got a new family member for the next fifteen years.”
Maria laughed and gave me a pat on my back as I sat beside her. Ollie fumed for a minute but didn’t say anything. “What’s wrong, Ollie?” I asked but didn’t really want to know the answer.
She continued to fume. “So you think we’re dogs and can’t wait to get rid of us.”
I stood up and placed my hands on her shoulders. She looked away, but I moved her chin back to face me. “That’s not what I said. I’ve lost my wife, been through an apocalypse, and been alone on this island for two years. I’m not used to company. I thought I didn’t want another human around me, but I was wrong. You’ve made me realize that living alone sucks, but going from a solitary life to having two beautiful women living with me will take some adjustment. I want you to stay as long as you want. I do need help to survive, and you do too.”
Tears came to Ollie’s eyes, and she hugged me. “Thanks for saving us, and thanks for not running us off. I still want to go home one day but not now. Please help us get ready for that trip, but I plan to stay here until we’re confident we can handle these brutes and slavers.”
I held her with one arm and held Maria’s hand. “We can all help each other survive. I like having you two around. I miss having someone to talk with.”
Ollie released me. “I thought you enjoyed talking to Emma.”
“I do, but a real live person who can’t read my mind and know what I’m thinking is also great.”
Ollie said, “Would I blush if I knew what you were really thinking about Maria and me.”
That stopped me cold. “You two are both about the age of my son and daughter. I think of you as older children.”
Ollie snickered and went to the restroom. I heard her laughing through the door.
I was just as shocked that Emma didn’t have anything to say about that conversation.
*
Chapter 11 – Underwear & Sailboats
My once beautiful mansion/basement
The following day, I slept in, and then after breakfast, the girls helped make a list of things we needed to scavenge. We needed about everything that women needed. Maria took one look at Emma’s closet and turned her nose up at the blouses and underwear. The jeans and shorts fit her well, but the rest of the garments weren’t to her liking.
Maria held out a t-shirt with these words, “I won’t go anywhere without my Shih Tzu,” and looked at me. “I’m not saying your wife’s style was bad. It’s just not me. These clothes fit, but I want something … well ….”
I interrupted her. “A bit younger and more current fashion. Then again, current fashion is pretty much what people can scrounge up.”
Maria tried to smooth the issue over. “I’m impressed. Your wife had a great figure.”
“I thought so. She worked hard exercising and watching what she ate.”
Then I stepped in it. “Why do women care about how your underwear looks like, especially when there are no men around? That always confused me.”
Maria threw a bra at me and huffed. “We want to look and feel pretty. There’s nothing like a bra that accentuates your boobs or a thong that shows off your butt. You’re not dead yet. Even you would appreciate a beautiful woman in great sexy underwear.”
“I uh … uh … I’m … too old to worry about that stuff now. I’m busy surviving and killing slavers to look at women these days.”
Maria snorted, “I call bullshit! Men don’t get that old.”
Ollie heard the conversation. “I guess she told you. We’d better find her some nice underwear and blouses, or she’ll skin you alive.”
I didn’t know how to handle this. My world went from surviving to finding lace drawers for ladies. I was pissed but knew Emma would call me an asshole if I told the ladies what I thought about their picky assed behavior. I thought about it and began to hate the new me. Yes, dear. Yes, that makes your butt smaller. Yes, you look good in that putrid chartreuse dress. I wanted to puke.
Emma suddenly appeared in my thoughts. “You’re going through a change for the better. You’re struggling with putting others’ feelings ahead of yours. Oh, tell Maria that I filled out my blouses better than she does.”
“Yes, dear.” Then I thought, oh! Hell no! I’m not telling that fireball she doesn’t look as good as my fifty-three-year-old wife in a blouse.
Emma said, “You do know that I hear everything you say or think.”
Maybe this talking with my dead wife is a bit crazy.
Emma whispered, “I heard that!”
Ollie and I made our first of many trips to replenish toilet paper, feminine hygiene stuff, and the other seemingly endless items on our list. I’d been in every home several times and knew which ones had what the girls wanted to find. The next-door neighbors west of my place had a large family with several women of all ages. I made that home first on our list.
I always entered a home as though I expected a gunfight. I cleared the first room and gave pointers to Ollie as we progressed from room to room. After validating the house was safe, I took her to one of the back bedrooms. The door was open, and clothes were orderly laid out on the bed. A suitcase had fallen off the bed and had dumped panties and bras on the floor. Several of the dresser drawers were open, and various jewelry and clothing items gathered dust below them.
