Sugared & Spiced, page 26
Duke
It was like he was waiting for me. As if he knew I’d come back to have it out. A part of me wondered if my fight with Colette had carried the distance so that he’d heard it all.
“Duke.” Only my dad could say my name like it carried all the disappointment he’d always felt toward me. “You’re back.”
“I hope you’re happy.” I wanted to put my fist through a wall. “We broke up. The engagement is off.”
Alicia’s hands covered her mouth before her gasp became audible. That was the correct expression. Dad’s cruel smile wasn’t.
“That’s for the best. I’m glad your head is on your shoulders again. Now, about the land—”
“No.” I slammed my hand against the table and rattled the glass in front of him. “It’s not your turn. You’ve been speaking for years. For once, I get to tell you how I’m feeling.”
Unimpressed, he waved me on, treating me once more like a child having a tantrum. “Say your piece, son.”
It almost took the wind out of my sails. He had the power to reduce me to the child he’d belittled for years, but I felt the cutting edge of the diamond in my hand and my rage was rekindled again.
“It wasn’t about me. If you think I dumped her, you’re mistaken. This was your fault. You wrecked Joel Caplan’s tractor in hopes that it would cripple them and then when he got hurt fixing it, you were almost gleeful that you’d actually crippled him instead.” I shook my head. “I kept your secret and Colette found out. That’s why we’re not together. Because I was protecting you. I’ve always protected you. I keep my feelings about life to myself because I’m shielding you from the pain. I go out and I ride with the rest of you, because I hate the idea of disappointing you. You made my future yours and I’ve never had a choice for anything different. Even the bakery. You snipe and slash at it, but I’ve never pushed the issue as hard as I should because I know I need to stay under your thumb to keep you happy.” My palm slapped the table again. “I’m done protecting you. You go to the cops and tell them what you did, or I will!”
Dad remained unfazed. “I messed with a fuel line, Duke. It’s not like I put a gun to his head.”
Alicia’s stare turned on Dad, horrified. “Tell me you didn’t, Isaac.”
The old man gulped hard, much less willing to face her incrimination than mine. “It was a prank. That’s all.”
“Do you think the cops will see it that way?” I countered. “You owe him medical bills at the least.”
“I owe him nothing,” Dad spat back. “And you think the cops are going to believe you? You have no proof.”
“Joel knows now.” I wavered with Dad fighting back. “He’ll back me up. And before long, the whole town will know what you did.”
“What do I care?” He laughed obnoxiously. “Go ahead, Dukie. Put up a billboard. You won’t change anyone’s opinion of me.”
He was right. He had too many friends in high places. “You’re probably right,” the fight rushed out of me and took my volume with it, “except it changed my opinion of you. I’m ashamed to be a Monroe.”
“Boohoo,” Dad pretended to cry. “Considering the company you’ve been keeping, your opinion doesn’t carry much clout.”
“What about mine?” Alicia asked, eyes full of tears. “Does mine matter to you anymore? Because you’ve lost my respect, Isaac.”
Dad broke for a second and reached for her, but Alicia shrugged him off, pushed her chair back, and made her exit. Dad’s hand slapped the table as he realized his loss. I suddenly wanted to be anywhere else in the world.
I started to leave but turned back to deliver my final words. “I’ve thought a lot of things about you over the years. But I never thought you were a coward.”
If he called after me, I didn’t hear it as I left the house. Walker had the truck running. I climbed inside and slammed the door on a life I had to leave behind.
Chapter 45
A Surprise Visitor
Colette
The time between Christmas and New Year’s had always defied all logic. Days of the week? Nope. Hour of the day? Not without a clock or the sun’s position. And even then, did it matter?
But pairing that temporal phenomenon with Duke’s departure from my life only amplified it in ways I’d never thought possible. Hours passed as I sat in my attic room and stared out the window. I’d let him walk out. That was on me.
All I had to do to see him again was close my eyes. That unabashed pain flitted back with ease every time I did. He’d begged me not to do it, like he saw my choice coming before I did, and yet, I gave in. I threw us away.
“Lettie? You up there?” Crispin called up the stairs.
“Where else would I be?” I fell backward into my pillows. They’d accepted me as their own. I was one with the bed.
“Oh, geez, Lettie,” my brother said at the sight of me. “Have you even changed recently?”
“Why should I? Time and space have ceased to exist.”
“A bit extreme, don’t you think?” He took a seat on my bed and shoved my leg. “I know you liked the guy, but you should get out of bed.”
I pulled a pillow over my face and held it down. “I didn’t like the guy, Cris.” The cotton fluff muffled my voice, but I knew he heard me. “I love him.”
Crispin sighed and shifted, tilting me on the mattress until I righted my balance. “Look, I know that. I just don’t like saying it.”
“Why?” I wanted him to say out loud that he hated Duke for some other reason than his family. I needed someone to justify my bad actions.
“Because then,” his hands clapped against his legs, “I’d feel guilty for having a part in breaking you up.”
I brought the pillow down surprised by his honesty. “What are you talking about? Duke lied. That’s why we broke up.”
“Yeah, I get that.” He stared out my small window. A couple trucks lumbered down the driveway. Some kind of delivery… we were always getting something. “But I’ve done my share of sowing discontent and I could have slowed your reaction, but I fanned the flames. I was happy he was gone.”
“Was?” I set the pillow aside and considered rescinding my citizenship to Pillow-topia. I settled for sitting up instead.
A car door slammed outside. Mom could handle it. I wasn’t in the mood.
“You’re miserable.” He drew in a slow, deep breath. “Noelle has even noticed the change. She told me I should fix it.” I started to object but he talked over me. “I know you’re gonna say it’s not my issue to fix, but I’m your big brother and fixing stuff is kinda my thing. And, if I’m being honest, I don’t like the Monroe family much but Walker and,” it pained him to say it, “Duke are decent guys. I should have given him a chance.”
For trying to fix it, Crispin almost made it worse. If I wasn’t mistaken, he was giving his blessing on my relationship with Duke. Albeit a bit late.
“It doesn’t matter.” I set a hand on Crispin’s shoulder before I let it fall. “Duke lied to me.”
“No,” he turned and stared me down, “Duke stayed loyal to his dad and, in his shoes, I might have done the same thing. And, if he’s anything like I would be, he’s kicking himself right now for putting family over the love of his life.”
“But I wouldn’t do that to him,” I countered.
Crispin’s shoulders bounced once before he let the bomb drop. “Isn’t that what you’re doing right now? You’ve put Dad over giving Duke the benefit of the doubt. You didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself. Seems like you did exactly what he did.”
“Yeah, but…” I had nothing after that. Crispin shot me his ‘I’m-always-right’ look and I squirmed with discomfort.
“Colette! Crispin!” Mom’s panicked voice filtered in through the walls. We exchanged a look, but neither one of us knew what it could be about. “Colette! Crispin! Hurry!”
Fearing something happened to Dad, we both ran down the stairs. I paused long enough to pull on boots to run through the snow in my sweats and breakup hoodie. Mom wasn’t out front with the black delivery truck, and I followed Crispin into the house. The door slammed shut behind me, shaking the walls with impact. I stayed so close on Crispin’s heel that when he stuttered to a sudden stop in front of me, I crashed into him.
“What are you doing here?” Crispin demanded.
I sank to peek around him, and my eyes widened as my mouth dropped open.
Isaac Monroe. In my living room. Talking with my parents.
Crispin pointed at the door. “Get out! You’ve done enough damage! We’re gonna get a lawyer and we’re gonna prove—”
“Crispin!” Mom’s short reprimand cut him off. “Mr. Monroe came to talk to your father. I think you should hear him out.”
I’d never realized how much Duke looked like his dad. Maybe because Isaac rarely had soft features when he looked at me, but I had to admit, he looked almost… remorseful.
“Crispin.” Isaac looked at me and the same glint of hurt I’d seen in Duke’s eyes was there. “Colette, I wanted to apologize. It’s been brought to my attention that I’m not a good person. I’m trying to remedy that.” He looked back at Dad who sat as tall as possible in his recliner. “Joel, like I said, I want to get you the best doctors. I want you in a rehab center where you’ll have full access to top-of-the-line advances in therapies for stroke victims. If you want to press charges, I won’t fight it. I’ll even turn myself in if that’s what it takes, but lawyer fees, that whole court mess, I’d rather put that money toward helping you, if that’s okay.”
Mom looked like she was staring down a semi, unsure of which way to flee. Part of her likely craved revenge, but Isaac was right, even with minimal fight from him, involving the law would mean money siphoned off to lawyers. If she abandoned her revenge, Dad stood a chance at a better future.
“How do we know you’ll follow through?” She crossed her arms, but I spotted the hope in her eyes.
“Good question.” He held out a packet of papers for my mom. “That’s a contract for Joel’s care, but also a signed and notarized confession of my involvement and subsequent coverup of what happened to land him here. If I don’t look like I’m pulling through on my side of things, you have every right to turn that in.”
Mom stared at the packet like she held gold. Dad shook his head in disbelief.
“Why are… you… doing… this?” Dad’s halted speech drove the guilt in deeper for Isaac. “You… hate… me.”
“I’ve treated you poorly,” Isaac agreed. “We both picked up where our dads and grandads left off.” He turned to look at me. “It took my son telling me that he had no plans to follow my tradition of hate to jar me free of it all.”
Mom hugged the packet against her. “Even if this is all real, Joel can’t be away from this place that long. Even if he’s not running it firsthand, he needs to be here, not in some rehab facility.”
Isaac nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I thought of that. My team is going to put in the work on your land, too. Crispin here, he can manage them with Walker’s help. I’ll pay them all. You don’t have to worry about it.”
Dad didn’t believe it. “All this… to avoid… jail?”
Chin to his chest, Isaac shrugged. “Not just jail. I may have a good spread and enough money, but, Joel, you’re the rich one.” He looked up as emotion clenched his throat. “Your wife stayed with you through the worst. Your kids admire you. I’m looking to put things in order and make it right.” Isaac looked at me again. “Alicia and I are going away for a while. She says I need to get my priorities straight. She says six months, but that doesn’t feel long enough. Once I find him, I’m turning the whole farm over to Duke. It’s his now.”
My shock tripled. Duke owned his dad’s farm?
“And as for my family, I’m ashamed by how we acted. I hope, after enough time passes, you’ll give us another chance.” Isaac’s brow crushed inward. “Assuming you’re willing to give Duke another shot. I think your plan of merging the ranches would really work.”
Words escaped me. What could I say to the man I’d once hated?
“Uh, boss man?” A burly fellow poked his head into the living room. “Where do you want the equipment?”
Isaac looked at Mom. “That’s up to you, Deborah. Where do you want the rehab equipment?”
Flustered, Mom handed the folder to Crispin as she passed. “I think we could make it work in Lettie’s room. And please, call me Deb.”
Isaac trailed behind her as the delivery team listened to her directions. Before he could leave, I caught his arm.
“Mr. Monroe,” it killed me to ask, “do you know where he is?”
Sadness overwhelmed him. “No, but I think Walker does. I’d start there.”
New hope took hold of me. It wasn’t over. But it was up to me to fix it.
Chapter 46
New Year's Wishes
Duke
“Has he moved at all today?” Brooke whispered to Evan, but she wasn’t great about keeping her volume down.
“I think those are new sweats,” Evan answered, both of them at least twenty feet away. “That might be considered progress.”
“Were you this bad?” I wasn’t sure what she was referencing, but Evan knew.
“Oh, worse. Remember how they had me all slathered in baby oil and that leather apron?” He made a fake gagging sound. “At least he hasn’t left the inn yet.”
“Small wins,” she agreed.
“It’s New Year’s Eve. I know he said he’d watch the twins,” Evan said, “but I feel bad leaving him. I know how much it hurts.”
“It’ll get better, trust me,” Brooke assured him. “Come on, let’s tuck the kids in.”
Better? I doubted it. Though worse didn’t seem possible either. That being said, working at Willow Brook Inn had been amazing thus far, but I wished I was doing it with Colette like we’d planned. I pulled the ring from my pocket and let the rocks reflect the light of the Christmas tree. We’d sat in this living room when we started making plans for our future. It felt like a lifetime ago, not a week or so.
I smashed my phone the night I arrived. Talking to anyone, explaining anything, it all felt too hard. Brooke took one look at me and knew exactly what had happened. I spent Christmas morning with them. It wasn’t the same, but the twins had already started calling me Uncle Duke. With my family broken to bits, at least a new family wanted me.
I held the ring out like I had for Colette and imagined her face, the way the lights had reflected off the snow, the speed with which she’d tossed that ugly coat. I laughed and said the words out loud.
“Will you marry me, Colette?”
“If you’ll still have me.”
I froze.
I was really losing it.
It felt like her voice was in the room with me. Needing oxygen, my body tried to breathe, but fear held me still. I’d really cracked this time.
“Duke?” she spoke again from the recesses of my mind. I stared harder at the diamond, worried that a residual trace of its memory had leeched out and was manifesting itself in my brain somehow. “Duke, say something.”
“You’re not real,” I whispered and clenched my eyes shut, determined to wait out the breakup psychosis. Brooke had warned me that I needed to eat and take care of myself. I hadn’t and I’d dipped into insanity. Warm hands cupped my cheeks. She felt so good. I leaned into her grasp. A moment later her lips touched mine. I wanted to cry. Was this how people gave in to insanity? It felt better than reality. My fingers tunneled into my hallucination’s hair. I pulled her closer and sank into her kiss, almost blissful to have her back in my arms again.
“I shouldn’t have let you leave,” she whispered against my lips before she kissed me again. I shook my head, unwilling to speak for fear that the mirage would end. “I love you, Duke.”
I tipped over the edge and pulled her onto my lap to deepen the kiss. My stomach flipped at the sensation. I refused to open my eyes, knowing she wouldn’t be there when I did. I’d dreamed of this moment since I’d arrived, it only made sense that my heartbroken serotonin-deprived mind would bring it to life.
“Okay, Duke, we put them down, all you have—” Brooke’s voice stopped short. My hallucination fell out of my arms and tumbled to the floor with a thud.
Did hallucinations thud?
“Colette?” Evan stared in shock, but Brooke wasn’t surprised.
“I’m glad you made it. And I see you two are making up.” Her evening gown caught the light as she walked to Colette where she sprawled on the floor. “Here’s the number to the hotel where we’re staying. It’s a bit of a trek, but in case of a real emergency we can come back, but I’d prefer it if we didn’t have to. Zane and Finn got us into this amazing party, and I have been dying to go since they told us about it.”
“Wait.” I pointed between the two of them. “You can see her?”
Brooke grimaced and looked back at Colette. “Yeah, see, I told you it was bad. But he’s all yours.” She walked back to Evan and started for the door. “See you both tomorrow.”
“You knew about this?” Evan asked his wife as he stumbled after her.
“Yes, we talked last night. You really thought I was going to leave Duke here alone to fend off the twins for the whole night? He has zero experience with kids.” She gripped his tie to drag him out of the room. “Come on, Mister Baker Man, Mama’s got plans for you.”
I didn’t even have time to consider what she meant. Too preoccupied with my own reality, I stared at the very real Colette who still sat on the floor in front of me.
“You’re really here.”
She nodded. “And I meant it. I love you and I never should have let you leave. I picked my family over you, and I can’t promise it won’t ever happen again, but I won’t ever let it drive us apart.” Her face crushed in pending tears and through a choked voice, she said, “If you’ll have me, I still want to be your wife.”
