Stolen Dreams, page 9
part #1 of Dreams #4 Series
“Go away,” she cries, and I know I won’t be able to get her out of there unless I pull her out kicking and screaming.
I run back into the house, going for my phone and calling the only person I can think of who can help her. I dial her number, and she answers on the second ring. “What do you want?”
“Lilah,” I whisper, “it’s Lucy.”
Chapter Twelve
LILAH
“What do you think?” Courtney asks as I look around the simple one-bedroom apartment she found about forty minutes away from town.
“I mean, it’s just you,” I say as I look at the small kitchen we both might fit into.
“I don’t want anything big.” She stands in the small living room/kitchenette area. “It’ll be the first time in my life that it’ll be just me.” She turns around in the space. “And this feels like it could be home.”
I’m about to say something to her when my phone rings from my back pocket. Pulling it out, I pinch my eyebrows together when I see his name. The bane of my anger today. “What do you want?” I snap into the phone, not willing to put up with his bullshit after hours.
“Lilah.” The way he says my name causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. “It’s Lucy.”
“What?” Confusion fills my body. “What do you mean it’s Lucy?” I look at Courtney who is looking at me with a worried look. “What is Lucy?” I feel like I’m stuck to the floor, or better yet, I’m stuck to the floor, and the room is now spinning all around me.
“She’s…” he says, and I can hear fear in his voice, which makes the hair on the back of my neck stick up. “She…” He stumbles on his words.
“She fucking what?” I snap.
“She tried to run away.” The words hit me like a blow as images of her hurt fill my head. My chest seizes as I find the energy to breathe.
“She tried to run away,” I repeat his words before looking at Courtney, moving the phone away from my ear for a second, telling her, “I have to go.” She nods and shoos me away with her hands. I rush out of the apartment. “Did you call the police?” I run down the steps. My heartbeat echoes in my ears as I make my way to my car.
“No,” he says, his voice low and quiet.
“No?” I practically shout at him as I unlock my truck and get into the driver’s seat. “You need to call the police. You need to call Charlie. You need to call everybody you know.”
“She’s in the barn.” I don’t know why, but when he says those words, my head falls forward on my steering wheel. “She’s in the crawl space and won’t come out.” I hear him walking now. “She told me to go away.”
Once I start the truck and put it in drive, the phone connects to Bluetooth. I put my phone down. “I’m about forty minutes away,” I mutter, almost in tears. “What did you do to her?” I ask, and I can hear his heavy breathing.
“Lilah.” His voice is so broken that I almost have to pull the truck over to the side of the road as I can’t see through my tears.
“Tell her I’m coming,” I tell him. “And how about you start with I’m sorry?” I hang up on him before I say something to set him off, and he takes it out on her. I go just above the speed limit and check the time on the dash every single minute, making it feel like hours have gone by. Once I get to Main Street, my heart picks up even more, knowing I’m so close but still feeling like I’m so far away. I turn down the paved driveway to the barn. The white fence is semi-lit up with the reflection of the moon and my headlights as I make it down toward the barn.
I spot him by the barn door, pacing back and forth. His hair looks like he’s going to pull it all out. His shirt is plastered onto his body. I put the truck in park, getting out and leaving it on. The lights from my headlights fill the barn door even more. The adrenaline runs through my body, making my hands shake. If I didn’t have the mission of getting to her, I’m pretty sure my body would be shaking like a leaf on a tree in a windstorm. “She’s—” he starts, and I walk into the barn, looking at him beside me. Worry is all over his face, and when he points at the small crawl space, I waste no time getting on my hands and knees. “I tried to get in, but it’s too tight for me.”
Looking at the hole, I know if he would have gone in, he would have gotten stuck. Squatting down, I take one more look at him as he stands there, bent over at his waist, his hands on his knees as he exhales and inhales. His eyes find mine for a second, and I can see the tears in them, the worry, and the franticness he must feel. Most importantly, I see the love he has for Lucy. “I’ll bring her out,” I assure him before I basically belly crawl into the space, the heat hitting me right away. Once I’m in the hole, it opens up a bit, and I’m able to fully get on my knees. “Lucy,” I call her name softly as I move slowly down the clearing. There is dust on my hands and knees, and I maneuver around the two-by-fours holding up the walls. I remember seeing some of Charlie’s cousins’ kids playing hide-and-seek here when I was cleaning out the stalls. A yellow tractor is tucked behind like someone was hiding it and forgot it. “Lucy?” I call her name and crawl around the corner and see her sitting against the wall with her legs propped in front of her. She looks up at me, her face streaked with tears. “Hey,” I say, going toward her and sitting next to her. “You had us all worried—” I start to say. “You had your dad worried.” She looks over at me as I stretch my legs out in front of me, the ceiling an inch from my head. “Are you okay?” I ask softly, knowing she isn’t okay but not sure how to play it. I’m scared I’ll make her retreat even more or she’ll hate me for helping her dad. But mostly, I’m afraid I won’t be able to help her.
“I want my mom,” she whispers, and the sobs come ripping through her. I can’t help but reach over and pull her into my lap. She lays her head on my chest; my arms wrap around her so she can feel my comfort as my T-shirt absorbs the tears pouring out of her. “I just want my mommy.” Her breath hitches as she tries to control her emotions, but it’s too much for anyone, let alone an eight-year-old little girl.
“Oh, baby.” I kiss the top of her head, rocking her side to side. “I know.” My heart breaks for her.
“I just want her back,” she murmurs between sobs. “I just want my mom back. I want her back. I want her back,” she chants over and over again. Her voice goes high at the end, and I can’t help my own tears that fall on top of her head.
“Baby, if I could,” I comfort softly when her sobbing calms down. “If your dad could, he would give you that. He would give you the world.” I try to soothe her, try to say the words so she knows he would do anything for her.
“He doesn’t like me,” she whispers. “He doesn’t want me. I want him to take me back home to my house.”
“He’ll never give you up,” I say, no matter how much of a grump he is. I know he loves this little girl, even if he has a weird way of showing her.
“Maybe Mr. and Mrs. Graham can take me and keep me,” she says, “so I can be next to my mom.”
“Lucy.” I rock her side to side. “One, I don’t think your dad will give you to anyone because he’ll probably miss you too much.” I kiss her head softly. “And second, you are always with your mom.” She looks up at me, confused. “She’s in your heart, isn’t she?” I ask. “Do you love her?”
“Yes.” She lays her head back down on my chest.
“Then she is with you everywhere you are. You carry her with you. She’s everywhere with you.”
“But I want her here,” she sobs. “I want her to hug me and tuck me into bed.” I close my eyes, listening to this little girl, who, at eight, has the weight of the world on her shoulders. “She said she would never leave me.” The sob rips through her. “She lied.”
“Lucy,” I say, “do you think she didn’t love you?” I don’t wait for her to answer. “She loved you so much there is no way she would ever leave you if she didn’t have to.”
“She can come back. I want her to come back.” I don’t know what else to say after that. There is nothing to say. Nothing I can say will make this better. Nothing anyone can do will soothe her. The only thing that will do that is having her mother.
“If she could come back”—I put my head back—“she would in a heartbeat. There is no way she would leave you. No way she would be able to give you up. No way she would be able to walk away from you. Think about it, baby girl.” I squeeze her a little tighter. “Think about everything she did for you. I don’t know her, but I’m guessing she lived for you. Lived to make sure you were okay. Lived to make sure no one hurt you. Lived to watch you blossom.” She doesn’t say anything to me. There really is nothing to say. “She would move heaven and earth to come back to you.” The sobs go quiet after a while, and I look down at her, seeing her eyes closed and the soft snore coming out of her.
“You are going to be okay,” I whisper. “I promise you; you are going to be okay.” I close my own eyes and put my head against the wall, not wanting to move. Not wanting to disturb her, but knowing, eventually, we have to get out of here. I cradle her to the side and think about how I’m going to get her out of here without waking her. I move on my butt, knowing I have to get out of this crawl space, and then I can have a bit more room to move.
Scooting on my ass to the edge of the wall, I squeeze her to my chest before ducking down on my side and moving sort of like a worm until I’m out of the crawl space. The sweat forms on my brow as I move inch by inch on my butt toward the entrance. I don’t know how long it takes me. “Emmett,” I say softly and he sticks his head into the hole, his face filled with every single emotion that can come to mind: anguish, worry, fear, love, hate, longing. “She’s sleeping, but I can’t get out without waking her. I’m going to hand her to you sideways,” I tell him and he nods, moving out of the way for me to close the distance to the hole. “Ready?”
“Yes,” he says as he reaches in for Lucy.
The minute I move her, she stirs in my arms, and her breath hitches. “It’s okay, Lucy,” I coo softly. “I’m going to hand you to your dad, and we’ll get you in bed.” I kiss her temple before laying her in my arms and moving her head through the hole. Emmett’s hands work with mine as we pull her out of the hole. Once she’s out and in his arms, I crawl out myself. Seeing him sitting on his ass, holding her in his arms, causes my heart to soar in my chest.
“Take her,” he says, “in case she wakes up. I don’t think she wants to see me right now.”
I bend and take her in my arms, the transition not waking her at all. “If it’s any consolation,” I tell him when he gets up and stands in front of me, “she doesn’t want to see me right now either.”
Chapter Thirteen
EMMETT
I watch Lilah take my girl from me and hold her in her arms. Holding her to her chest, she whispers, “She doesn’t want to see me right now either.” She then looks down at Lucy in her arms. “I don’t think anyone is going to be able to make this better but her mom.”
I want to tell her that we are going to be shit out of luck because unless she rises from the dead, I’m all Lucy has. It’s not much, but it’s something. “Let’s get her inside,” I urge Lilah, and she nods at me. Putting my hand on the base of her back, I follow her out of the barn.
“My truck,” she says of the headlights still on, and so is the truck.
“I’ll turn it off.” I run over to it, pulling the keys out and turning off the lights before closing the door.
I watch her hold my daughter in her arms, close to her chest, like she’s trying to give her strength. “I think she needs a bath,” Lilah notes, “but I don’t know how that’s going to happen without her waking up.”
“She was in the crawl space with dust and everything,” I say, walking up the front steps, “she needs to take a bath.” I open the door for them and watch her walk in and stop in the entranceway. She’s never been in my house. She’s driven by my house, and she’s dropped off things for me, but she’s never been inside. I have to wonder if I did this on purpose to protect myself from the images of her being in this house forever. “This way.” I move past her toward Lucy’s bedroom. “I’ll start the bath,” I say, and she nods.
I walk into the bathroom I never expected anyone to be using, but now it’s my daughter’s. Her hairbrush is on the counter beside a couple of hair clips that I have no idea how to use. Her toothbrush is in the holder right next to the toothpaste. One towel on the side looks like she just put it there. I walk over to the bathtub and turn on the water, testing it with my arm before wiping it on the towel on the counter.
“I know you are,” Lilah says, “but as soon as we get you cleaned and in your pj’s, you can go to bed.”
“I don’t want to,” Lucy whines, her eyes half closed as Lilah carries her into the bathroom. I turn and walk over to her bed, sitting down on it, and putting my elbows on my knees as I let out a sigh of relief that she came out. I stood outside that crawl space and contemplated ripping the whole thing off even though Charlie would not be too happy with me. Instead, I sat on my ass, helpless, as I heard the sobs coming from Lucy, sobs that ripped through her. Sobs I hadn’t heard before. Sobs I know I’ll never forget the sound of.
I listen to the water being turned off before I hear her voice. “We’ll get you washed off.” The sound of water splashing comes from the bathroom. “Then get you in bed, and tomorrow will be another day.”
The lump in my throat forms for a minute before Lilah comes out of the bathroom and looks at me. “Where are her pj’s?” she asks, and I look around the room, not sure where she put them.
“I have no idea,” I admit, getting up and going to the dresser to grab her one of the new pairs I bought her at the mall, when Lilah walks over to the bed and moves her pillow, finding her pj’s.
“How did you know?” I ask, and she just shrugs. “Is it a girl thing?”
“Maybe.” She shrugs again. “It could also be a habit she started with her mom.”
“You must think I’m an idiot,” I say, and she doesn’t disagree with me. “Who doesn’t know where their kid’s pj’s are?” I don’t know if I’m asking her the question, but she answers it for me anyway.
“Someone who just became a father and has no idea what he’s doing.” She gives me a soft, sad smile before walking back into the bathroom. “I found your pj’s,” she announces, and I hear the water sloshing, knowing she must be coming out of the bath and wondering if I should just leave the room. They don’t give me time to decide because Lucy comes walking back into the room wearing her pj’s, her hair wet but brushed back, her hand firmly in Lilah’s. “We didn’t wash her hair, but we did rinse it off in case there was dust in it,” Lilah states.
I nod, then look at Lucy. “I’m sorry, Lucy.” I try to say the words without my voice cracking but fail miserably. “I shouldn’t have lost my patience with you.” She stands beside Lilah, half her face hidden from me. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“Let’s get you in bed,” Lilah urges after a few minutes. “You’ve had an eventful night.” She walks with her to the bed and holds her hand as Lucy puts one leg in the bed and then lets go of her hand. She gets in the middle of the bed and pushes the covers down with her feet before getting under. “Good night, Lucy,” she says, leaning down and kissing the top of her head before moving away from the bed. “I’m going to wait for you outside,” she says and then motions me with her head to go and speak to her.
I nod as she walks out of the bedroom, leaving me alone with my daughter who hates me. I walk over and sit on the side of her bed as she turns on her side. “I shouldn’t have yelled before,” I say softly, “but you also shouldn’t have taken off.” She just looks at me. “You scared the living daylights out of me,” I say even though I’m not sure she cares. “I don’t ever want you to do that again.” She blinks her eyes. “I’d rather you yell back at me than not know where you are.” She doesn’t say anything to me, and now with this stunt, I’ll be lucky if she says anything to me in the next year. “I know it’s hard, and we’re both learning. But bottom line, I’m happy you’re here, Lucy.” I take a deep inhale and lean forward and kiss her head, exactly where Lilah kissed her. “Sleep tight, Lucy,” I say and get up, walking to the door. “And if you need anything, just call me.”
I turn off the light and close the door behind me but leave it open a crack. I walk to the living room and look around to see if Lilah is there. My eyes scan the room, and when I don’t see her anywhere, I walk out of the house and find her sitting on the step. She looks over her shoulder when she hears the door open. “Hey,” she says softly, “is she sleeping?”
“She’s lying in her bed,” I reply, stepping outside of the door and closing it behind me softly.
“What are you doing out here?” I ask.
“I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye,” she says and I shake my head as I sit on the step beside her.
