Mine to Keep, page 21
The plane lands at the same time the car gets there, and the stairs come down, followed by my grandfather, who is wearing jeans and a T-shirt. “Hey there.”
“Business?” I look at him. “Since when do you wear jeans for business?”
“I was at Sofia’s place hooking stuff up,” he explains, pulling me in for a hug. I wrap my arms around his waist. “I had to show Matthew how it’s done.”
I look up at him and laugh. “You and Matthew,” I mention Matty’s uncle, who since day one the two of them have been so over-the-top competitive.
“Let’s get you home,” he says, walking to the plane and making me go up the steps first. It takes forty-five minutes for the plane to land back home, and walking down the steps I feel like I shouldn’t even be here. Something feels off, but I push it away. Ten minutes later, I’m walking up the steps to my childhood home and ringing the doorbell.
I look over and see Pops standing by his truck to ensure I get in safely. I can hear footsteps behind the door, and then the door unlocks before being pulled open. My father stands there in shorts and a T-shirt, the shock on his face making me laugh. “Surprise,” I say, holding up my hands.
“Willow!” he yells over his shoulder before lunging for me and wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up. “My baby is home.”
I roll my eyes. “Can we be more dramatic in this family?”
“Willow,” he calls again, and I can hear my mother’s footsteps before I see her in the hallway.
“Why are you yelling?” She stops mid-step when she sees me, her mouth hanging low. “Oh my God.” She puts her hand to her mouth, my father dropping me so I can go over to her.
“Hi.” I take her in my arms. “Surprise,” I say softly.
“What’s all the noise?” Charlie complains, coming out of his bedroom. “Ugh, why is she here?”
“Why are you still here?” my father asks. “Come and get her bag.”
“Dad, I was up at five this morning,” he huffs at him but comes downstairs anyway to get my stuff. “We don’t like unannounced guests,” he says, and my father slaps him upside the head. “Ow.”
“You know what we don’t like?” my father grits with clenched teeth. “Having you try to sneak a woman out of the house at five a.m. wearing your clothes.”
“Idiot.” I shake my head.
“What about Jim Preston?” he accuses me, and my eyes go big as he mentions the high school boyfriend I dated for six months. “He jumped out the window in the morning.”
My parents look over at me. “He did not,” I deny, avoiding looking at them. “If it makes anyone feel better, we didn’t do anything.”
“Grace,” my father growls between clenched teeth.
“It was like six years ago.” I throw my hands up. “I’m hungry.” I try to change the subject; luckily, my parents drop it, and so does Charlie.
“I can eat,” he says to my mother, who shakes her head.
“When can’t you eat?” She turns now and heads to the kitchen, and for the rest of the night, it feels like I’m sixteen again. Charlie and I always throwing gibes at each other, with my mother telling us to behave. I slide into my bed, picking up the phone, and reading through the messages I’ve sent him. The last one still unanswered. All night I dream of him and Meadow. I can even feel his kisses in my dreams, and when I wake up the next day, I feel lost.
I turn over in the bed, seeing it’s a little past nine. Stretching before getting out of bed and walking down the stairs, I find my mother sitting on one of the stools doing paperwork. “Morning,” I mumble, going over to the pot of coffee and making myself a cup.
Pulling out a stool, I sit next to my mother. “Where is everyone?” I ask her as I take a sip of the hot coffee.
“Your father and brother went to the barn,” she explains. “They got some new horses yesterday, so they went to check them out to see how they are doing.”
“Oh, fun,” I say, “maybe I’ll go over there and see.”
“Your father would love that.” She closes the computer, and I look at her. “So do you want to talk about why you’re here?”
“I came to visit.” I take another sip of my coffee, hoping she drops it.
She laughs. “Honey, that may work on the men you have wrapped around your finger. Like your grandfather and father.” She tilts her head, and her eyebrows shoot up. “But you are going to have to do better than that with me.”
“It’s nothing.” My stomach gets tight. “I just needed to get some space is all.”
“That doesn’t sound like nothing.” Her voice is soft.
“I’m seeing someone,” I admit, and her eyes try to hide the shock of it. I always dated, but it never stuck. It would last one date, maybe two at the most, but then it would fizzle out.
“That’s a big—” She stops talking when I hold up my hand to stop her.
“He’s older than me.” I hold up one finger. “He’s got a daughter.” I hold up a second finger, and I can see her eyes get bigger and bigger. “And he’s my boss.” Gosh, saying it all out loud sounds so much more intense than I thought it would be.
“Grace,” my mother says between clenched teeth.
“I know.” I push off from the counter and get up, not to go anywhere but to pace while we talk this out. “But what part are you more surprised at?”
“All of it,” she admits. “How much older?”
“I don’t know, maybe nine years,” I say. “Which doesn’t bother me, but it bothered him.”
“Past tense, so he’s over it?” she asks. All I can do is shrug because I’m assuming after last weekend it doesn’t bother him anymore. “How old is his daughter?”
“She’s four.” I smile, thinking of how much Meadow would love it here. “And she’s amazing.”
“Grace,” she says my name softly, “he’s your boss.”
“I know.” I throw up my hands and slap the counter in front of me.
“You hate him,” she reminds me of all the times she called, and I would rant about him.
“I know.” I hang my head. “I did, but now—”
“But now you’ve gone and fallen in love with a single dad, who is your boss.” She sums it up, and I just shake my head, not looking up at her.
“So why are you here and not there?” she asks me the million-dollar question.
“His ex wants him back, I think.” As I say the words, I put my head down on my arms.
“You think?” I look at her as she leans back in her chair.
“Well, I went over there yesterday for dinner, and she showed up.” The memory makes me ill. “And before that, she showed up at the office, not when we were dating, and said she was his wife.”
“What did he say about this?”
“He said that I’m not in the middle of anything because there is nothing to be in the middle of,” I admit to her, “and then I came here.”
She gasps, “Grace.”
“I know.” I shake my head. “I know I should have gone to him.” She nods her head. “But I was scared.”
“Scared of what?” she asks.
“Scared I’ve fallen in love with both of them, and he’s going to tell me he’s going back to his wife.”
“But how are you going to know if you don’t talk to him?” She uses her mother voice.
“Mom, this is the first time in my life I’ve ever been in love,” I admit. “It’s the first of many.” I hope she gets what I’m saying. “So, I’m in uncharted territory.”
“Well, rule number one is communication.” I roll my eyes at her. “You think I knew what love was when I met your father?” I know she didn’t because she was left for dead by her stepfather. “I knew nothing, but I knew he was different.”
“Mom.” I put my hand to my stomach. “There is so much going through my head right now. I don’t even know where to start.”
“Well, start at the beginning, besides the baby momma drama.” She smirks. “What is bothering you?”
“Well, besides the fact he’s my boss.” I close my eyes. “It sounds even worse when I keep saying it out loud.” She laughs at me. “What is everyone going to say?”
“Who is everyone?”
“Dad, Pops, to name a few.” I put my hands on my head. “My coworkers.”
“Don’t worry about your family. They will accept anyone who makes you happy,” she tries to tell me. “Your father was my boss also, and then I married him.”
“Mom, it’s different,” I tell her.
“How so?”
“Well, for one, he’s got a child,” I point out.
“Okay, well, if your father had a child, I would still have fallen in love with him,” she informs me, “even with the baby momma drama.” I inhale deeply. “The question is, are you really in love with him? Put everything aside, what you think people will say, what you are afraid of. How do you feel about him?”
I look at her, knowing this answer. “With one thousand percent certainty, I can say I’m head over heels in love with him.”
thirty
Caine
I pull into the parking lot later than normal because I knew if I came early, she would be here, and I’m not sure I’m ready to see her. I avoid even looking at her car while I walk over to the elevator.
I tap my phone with my finger as I look up at the numbers going up, stepping out when it pings, and the doors open. Every step I take echoes in my ears, and I feel a tightness in my chest. The same tightness I felt all weekend long, knowing she wasn’t going to be around me. During the day, it was easy to pretend it wasn’t there, but once Meadow went to bed and it was just me in the house, I couldn’t pretend anymore. I was in love with her. I was head over heels in love with her. No matter what I said or how I put it, that was the conclusion every time. No matter how many times I told myself it was wrong. No matter how many times I pointed out all the cons, all I had to do was picture her smiling face and all the excuses were out the window.
“Good morning,” I greet the receptionist before I round the corner, and my eyes go to her. She’s looking at her computer and the tightness in my chest gets even tighter, making it hard to breathe. Instead of going to my office, I make my way straight to the conference room. The meeting has already started since I’m so late.
“Hey,” I mumble, sitting down in my chair. I look over at Grace, who appears unaffected by this whole thing. I don’t even listen to what is being discussed in the meeting, and when I look back, I see her laughing at something Kayla says to her, making her more beautiful than my memories of her that played over in my head all weekend long.
The meeting finishes, and when I walk out, I’m more pissed than ever, and I don’t even know why. Well, I do know why. It’s because she just left. She left and didn’t even stick around to talk about it. I walk toward my office, and she looks up at me, her face going into a full smile when she sees me, making my stomach tense. “Good morning,” she greets cheerfully.
“Yeah,” I bark before walking past her desk and not stopping. I put my still full coffee on my desk before I take off my jacket and toss it on the couch. I’m rolling up my sleeves when I look over and see her knock on the doorjamb. She’s wearing a black top and a long black skirt with her high heels. “What?”
She walks into the office just a bit, and my hands itch to touch her. “I was wondering if we could set a time to talk.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Time to talk.” I laugh sarcastically as I finish rolling up my sleeves. “The time to talk was Friday,” I hiss, “and instead of talking to me, you took off.”
“You’re right,” she agrees softly, and I can see she’s breathing heavy because her chest is heaving. She is also holding her hands together, nervously wringing them. “I was just—”
I stop her, holding up my hand. Even my head tells me to relax, but I can’t. All the anger of her leaving has just bubbled over. “Instead of having a conversation with me like adults do, you pulled a tantrum like a child.” The minute the words come out of my mouth, I know I’ve fucked up. She takes a step back on one foot as if I hit her. Her eyes cloud over and not in a good way. “Grace.” I take a step toward her, but she holds up her hand, which I see is shaking.
“Thank you for your time,” she says, turning on her heel and walking, almost running, out of my office. She stops at her desk, leaning over to grab her phone before turning and rushing away from me.
“Fuck.” I shake my head and put my head down. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I turn back to walk to my desk, taking a huge breath in before I pull out my chair and wait for her to come back from the bathroom. My eyes are on her desk like a hawk. One minute turns into two turns into five. I look at my watch every thirty seconds, wondering if I should go and check on her. But how would that look if I just stormed into the women’s bathroom and kissed the ever-loving fuck out of her? I’m tapping my finger on my desk when I see Loren come to her desk with a box under her arm, placing it on Grace’s desk. I’m out of my seat like it’s on fire. “What are you doing?” I snap at her as she starts putting things in the box.
“Grace just quit,” she says, and the blood drains from my body, “and asked me to box her things up.”
“What?” I ask, feeling like the floor is being ripped out from under me.
“She said thank you for taking a chance on her,” Loren relays, picking up one of her coffee mugs she used all the time, “but she’s going to focus on school.” My heart hammers in my chest so hard it’s all I can hear. “But from her storming out of here, I’m assuming whatever you said to her was the final straw.”
“I didn’t—” I start to say, but she holds up her hand.
“Save it for someone who’s going to believe you,” she says, turning with the box of Grace’s things.
“Give me the box,” I snap. “I’ll go take it to her.”
“Funny you should say that. She said tell Caine he can show up, but I’m not going to be there.” I was wrong before. Right now, at this moment, it feels like the floor has been ripped out from under me.
I rush back into my office, grabbing my phone and my jacket before I race to the elevator. I press the button to the elevator once again, then I don’t stop for a full thirty seconds. I’m about to take the stairs when the doors open. I press the P button as soon as I step in, along with the button to close the door. Luckily for me, no one else gets in, and once the doors open, I’m dashing to my car.
I speed the whole way there, parking in the front of her building, not giving a shit if they tow me or not. Every single second is agony. Every single second feels like a lifetime. Every single second I pray that it’s not too late.
I get to her door and knock. “Grace, baby,” I say softly, knocking and knocking. “Please.” I put my head on the door, the tightness in my chest so much more than it was before. It’s even getting harder and harder to breathe. “Grace, please,” I say again, pleading. “I’m not going anywhere. If I have to sit out here all night, I will.” I take out my phone and call her, my hands shaking the whole time. It doesn’t even ring. It goes straight to voicemail.
“You’ve reached Grace. Leave a message.”
“Grace, baby,” I say, my voice broken. “Please call me back. I’m sorry.” I close my eyes. “I’m so, so sorry.” I hang up the phone and knock one more time, hoping she answers, hoping she puts me out of my misery even though I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve her. “Please,” I beg to the brown door. I put my hand on the door, feeling the coolness on it. “Grace.” I knock again softly. I take one deep breath before I walk away. She said she wouldn’t be here, and I know in my gut she was not bluffing. Not this time. This was my third strike.
I leave her building, and the dread settles in. I pull up my phone and call the one person who might actually be able to help. He answers after two rings. “Yo,” he says, and I close my eyes, putting my head back on the headrest.
“Nash.” My voice comes out raw, and I look out the window.
“What happened?” The worry is in his voice now.
“It’s Grace,” I say. “I fucked up.”
“What else is new?” His tone changes as he laughs. “What did you do now?”
“It’s bad.” I look at the door to her building, hoping to catch her walking in, but the door doesn’t open. “So fucking bad.”
“How bad?” he asks.
“She’s gone.” My voice breaks. “Man, I have no idea what the fuck to do.”
“What did you say to her?” I put my head back when I think of how to explain.
“I’m with her.” I’m expecting him to gasp, but instead, he laughs.
“Shocking,” he states, and now I’m the one who’s shocked. “Dude, you were jonesing for her from day one.”
I refute, “I was not.”
“Dude, I thought you would have throat punched me at the bar when you found out I was texting her.” He can’t help but laugh at me.
“I was not. I thought she had a boyfriend,” I remind him. “Anyway, things progressed.”
“You fucked her, didn’t you?” The words bring a rage to me like I can’t explain.
“Talk about her like that again, and I’ll break your fucking jaw myself,” I hiss. “I’m not fucking playing with you.”
“Jesus, Caine,” he says softly.
“I’m in love with her.” The words come out for the first time.
“Then what the fuck happened?” I spot someone walking to the door, and my head whips around, wondering if it’s her, but it’s not.
“She came over on Friday to have dinner with Meadow and me,” I start, “and then Marylin showed up.”
“Fuck,” Nash swears. “Clusterfuck.”
“You have no idea. Anyway, Grace left and didn’t look back.”
