Twilight Tears, page 7
Hope grins. “I’m glad you’re back. Gregory is, too. He spent most of his time yowling at the bedroom door and in front of Yakov’s office. He missed you both.”
I reach down and scratch behind his fuzzy ears. “I missed you, too, buddy.”
Yakov closes the front door and grabs me gently by the elbow. “Come on. You should sit down.”
“I’m okay. I actually feel—”
“Hope,” Yakov orders, “bring Luna some water. A snack, too.”
Hope nods and is already turning towards the kitchen.
“I’m okay. Really. I feel a lot—”
“You need to rest.”
Yakov leads me to the sitting room, lays a blanket over my lap, and turns on the television.
And there we stay.
It’s nice to slow down with him and not have nurses and doctors interrupting every hour. But it’s also… strange. I’ve never seen Yakov sit still for so long before. He’s always busy, running off to some meeting or slipping away to talk on the phone. Now, he doesn’t seem to have anywhere else to be.
I suppose that’s because Akim is dead. The threat is gone. We’re all safe. So now, Yakov seems to have funneled all of that extra energy into never letting me out of his sight.
I can’t say I mind.
15
LUNA
Since we got back, we’ve eaten every meal together, he’s taken me on short walks through the garden, and he’s slept next to me every night.
“If you two don’t move, you’re going to fuse to that couch,” Mariya warns from the doorway.
“Where have you been?” Yakov asks.
“My room.” Mariya narrows her eyes. “Is that okay with you or did I need to ask for permission?”
“You always need to ask for permission.”
Mariya snorts. “I don’t see why. There are enough guards here that you probably know what I’m up to before I do.”
In addition to the extra guards placed at the entrances to the property, a few men take turns doing sweeps of the interior and exterior of the house once every few hours. I’d say it’s overkill, but it has actually been really comforting.
“That’s the idea,” Yakov drawls.
He’s watching the television, so he doesn’t see Mariya fuming in the hallway. I catch her eye and shake my head. They’ve both been through a lot. Now that things are calm, they should both be able to enjoy it.
Mariya, however, has other plans.
“I’m not going to live like this, Yakov,” she snaps. “We were never under surveillance like this before. This is too much. When Otets was alive—”
“When Otets was alive, the Gustev Bratva was going after him. Not you.”
“No one was after me. They were after Luna.”
I sink down into the couch. If she isn’t going to take my advice, the least she could do is leave me out of it. The name of my recovery game the last couple days has been Distraction and Denial.
I figure that if I don’t think about the attack, the memories will eventually become hazy. And if I can ignore the fact that an entire criminal organization wanted to murder me just to emotionally torture Yakov, then I’ll feel a lot better about bringing a child into this world.
Yakov throws an arm over the back of the couch and turns to face her. “They fucking shot you, Mariya. What more proof do you need?”
“Only because I got between them and Luna. If I’d stayed inside, everything would have been fine.”
That’s definitely not true. Mariya put herself in the line of fire, but they were coming into the mansion one way or another. If Mariya hadn’t fought, she might have been in that cell with me.
“Good. We’re in agreement,” Yakov growls.
Mariya gives him a cautious look. “We’re in agreement about what?”
“That if you stay inside, everything will be fine,” he says.
Her eyes flare wide. “What? No! That is not what I was saying.”
“But it is what I’m saying. If you want to leave the property, I need to be with you. Or I need to assign a guard to go with you.”
“Fuck that! You saw the security tapes,” she argues. “I was fighting three of Akim’s men by myself before that coward pulled a gun. I can take care of myself. Especially now that Akim is dead.”
“Akim being dead isn’t some magic fix, Mariya. You’re in even more danger now.”
I turn to him. “What?”
The word is out of my mouth before I can stop it.
I thought this was all over. That’s why Yakov has been relaxing around the house. It’s why he’s been spending time with me at home.
We’re safe…
Aren’t we?
“What the fuck does that mean?” Mariya snaps. “He’s dead. You killed him. Why would we be in more danger—”
“Taking down a target like Akim is always going to make more enemies. It never ends.”
Mariya’s mouth falls open. “I thought…”
She doesn’t finish her sentence. How could she? There’s nothing to say.
Yakov sounds exhausted. And he’s the one who grew up in this world. He was trained for this. What about me?
“People are always going to come out of the woodwork to try and take down the man at the top. Unless you want to be collateral damage, I suggest you listen to me.”
Mariya doesn’t look happy—far from it. But she doesn’t argue. After a few seconds, she turns and stomps down the hall to her room.
Yakov lays his head on the back of the couch with a sigh. I should reach out and make sure he’s okay. Or offer to talk to Mariya. I should make myself useful. But I can’t talk around the lump in my throat. Yakov just dumped a new reality in my lap and I need to sort through it.
I’m always going to be in danger. My child is always going to be in danger. Akim was just the first in a long line of enemies to come. This fight is what our life will be like from this point on. It never ends.
It. Never. Fucking. Ends.
I blink back tears as I stand up. “I’m going to go lie down.”
Yakov tenses. “Are you feeling okay?”
No.
“Just tired.” I give him a tight smile. I swear there are actual cracks in my flimsy mask.
“I’ll come with you.”
“That’s okay. I’m just going to sleep. You can stay and—”
He stands up and scoops me into his arms before I can finish. “I’m tired, too.”
“Not too tired to carry me.”
His eyebrow arches playfully, but the emotion doesn’t reach his mouth. “I’m never too tired for that.”
Yakov carries me to our room and lays me in bed. I dreamed about being here with him. I’ve always felt safe here in his room. Now, I’m not so sure there is such a thing. Yakov, this life we’ve built, our child… It could all be taken from me without warning.
I roll onto my side as tears burn in my eyes. Yakov drapes his arm over my waist and I swallow down the sob in my throat. I squeeze my eyes closed and pretend to fall asleep.
16
YAKOV
I reach for my phone for the fifth—no, sixth time. The sixth time in as many minutes.
I can’t stop myself.
I know the mansion is under lock and key. There’s a guard for every square foot, which is a lot of fucking guards. And yet, I can’t stop checking the security cameras to make sure the gates are locked, the house is shut up tight, and Mariya and Luna are safely inside.
I drop my hand. “I’m losing my goddamn mind out here, Nik.”
My brother doesn’t move. He hasn’t moved in days unless a nurse repositions him to redo his IV. But I keep expecting it, anyway.
“You’d be so pissed that you’re unconscious right now and can’t hear any of this, but it turns out you were good at your job. Gathering intel, plugging holes, and keeping tabs on things. It allowed me to handle other shit. But now…” I shake my head. “All I can think about is how to keep everyone safe.”
The worst part of it all is that no matter what I do, I can’t change a single thing about Nik’s situation. It’s too late. Whatever happens from this point on is up to him and his doctors. I just have to sit here… and wait.
Even then, what the hell am I waiting for? He might wake up and be a completely different person. He may never talk again. He could have lasting brain damage that will change everything.
I drag a hand down my jaw. “Apparently, Akim’s little brother is rising up to avenge his death. Inconvenient, even if I understand the impulse.” My eyes follow the tube out of Nik’s mouth, across the bandage on his chest. “I was never going to let Akim get away after what his men did to you. The difference is that Akim deserved what he got. If Pavel wasn’t so green, he’d probably see that and back off.” I snort and say what I’m positive Nik would say if he could. “Or not. The Gustev Bratva isn’t known for their discretion.”
The Gustevs have been a problem for years. I thought striking back and answering their attacks with our own would convince them to keep their heads down. But they don’t know when to quit.
Now, it isn’t just me at risk. It’s my siblings. It’s Luna. It’s the future of our family.
I run my hands through my hair. “I don’t know how Otets handled this, Nik. Being a pakhan and a husband and a father. He trained me to follow in his footsteps, but he was never scared. He never acted like he was worried about me. But I’m—fuck, I’m terrified for what all of this will mean for Luna and our kid.”
I stare at the floor between my feet and run through all of my security measures once, twice, a hundred fucking times. I try to convince myself that I’m doing everything I can to control this situation, but it doesn’t feel like enough.
I’m not sure it will ever be enough.
I’m still staring at the floor when the door behind me opens. “Oh, Mr. Kulikov,” a female voice says. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”
I look over my shoulder and Dr. Tung is in the doorway. She’s an older woman with white streaks in her dark hair. I haven’t seen much of her since Nik’s surgery, but the nurses keep telling me how busy she is. Apparently, she’s the best of the best. Either way, I trust her to take care of my brother. It’s just about the biggest compliment I can give.
I glance at the clock and somehow, hours have passed. “Time got away from me,” I say.
She gives me a tight smile. “That’s okay. It’s good to talk to him. The more, the better.”
“Can he even hear me?”
“We don’t know for sure, but studies show that talking to patients in a coma can only help. Especially when they know the voices. When it’s someone they love. That connection can help guide them back.”
It all sounds a little woo-woo to me. I turn to face her. “I’m going to ask a question and I need you to be honest with me. No bullshit.”
“I’m not into bullshitting,” she says sincerely.
“Is there a real chance he recovers?”
Dr. Tung looks at Nikandr. She tilts her head to one side and studies him. “Yes. There’s always a chance.”
“And there’s a chance that the ceiling caves in and I’m crushed under a hospital bed,” I snap. “But it isn’t likely. What are his chances? Really?”
She chews on the corner of her mouth and then seems to decide something. She looks at me. “I never discount anyone. Miracles happen all the time. But… you should limit your expectations. That’s what I can tell you. Miracles happen, but don’t expect one.”
As soon as I step out of the hospital, my phone buzzes. It’s Isay.
“What news do you have for me?”
Something good, for fuck’s sake.
“Nothing yet,” he says. “But I’m requesting permission to follow Pavel.”
I frown. “Why weren’t we already doing that?”
Because Nik is in the hospital. My brother would have been following Pavel from the moment he became a threat. He wouldn’t have asked for permission. Nik knew what I wanted from him without me needing to say it.
“There was no explicit order given,” Isay says. “But now that the threat is credible, I want to learn more about him.”
“Yes. Obviously. Gather everything you can. I want to know where he is going, who he is meeting with, and what he is planning,” I tell him. “If he so much as pisses the wrong way, I want to know about it.”
Isay assures me he’ll gather everything he can and report back as soon as possible.
But when I climb in my car, I don’t drive home. I drive to the garage where Akim kept Luna. I park down the street and watch the shattered windows, waiting for movement. For some sign that the Gustev Bratva is planning something.
After a few hours, I make the rounds, driving past Gustev-owned clubs and bars. I look for Pavel. If I could take him out now—a quick hit-and-run—it would save a lot of trouble down the road. Maybe it would finally be the end of this feud.
But I don’t see him. I don’t see anything.
It’s after ten when I get back. Luna is still sitting up in bed when I walk through the door.
“You’re still up,” I observe, closing the door behind me.
“It’s hard to sleep when…” She looks at my side of the bed. “I just couldn’t sleep.”
I stayed away on purpose. Seeing Nik and talking to Dr. Tung didn’t exactly put a spring in my step. As much as I wish I did, I don’t trust Isay the way I trust Nik. Luna has been through enough that I didn’t want to bring her down with all of my shit.
Not that it isn’t already too late for that. I’ve already brought her down. Akim kidnapped her because of me. Now, she’s traumatized and can’t sleep without me next to her.
“I should have come back sooner.” I pull my shirt over my head and ball it in my fists before chucking it into the closet.
“No, I’m fine. I’m okay. You were with Nik, right?” she asks. “How is he?”
“Same. Critical, but stable.”
She sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“Why? None of this is your fault.”
“I know. It’s not your fault, either.” She pushes the blankets down and shifts to the edge of the bed. She presses her hand flat to my bare chest. “You didn’t cause any of this. And you know that Nik wouldn’t change anything about that night.”
She’s right. I know she is. My brother was stubborn. He liked to play the hero. Some petty part of him would love to know he’s in a coma for backing me up and following me loyally into gunfire.
None of that helps me, though. It doesn’t change a single fucking thing.
“That’s good, because he can’t. Neither can I. We can’t go back and fix it. I can’t fix it now, either. There isn’t a damn thing I can do to make any of this better.”
She rises on her knees and pulls me closer. Her hand is over my heart. “You’re making things better for me. You being here… it helps. When I’m alone or asleep, my brain goes right back to that cell. But I can’t think about any of that when you’re in front of me. You help me relax.”
Her eyes are hooded and I’m hard. Instantly.
I want her. Of course I do. But she was in the hospital only a few days ago. She was kidnapped and imprisoned before that. I found her with a half-naked man straddling her in a cell. I’m not going to push her.
“How about a bath?” I ask instead of ravishing her the way every cell in my body wants to do. “That would help you relax.”
That’s something I can do. A way I can help.
Luna licks her bottom lip. Then she leans forward until her full mouth presses softly to mine. My hand tightens on her waist. It takes every ounce of self-control I possess not to throw her back on the bed and taste every inch of her.
She pulls back slowly. “A bath would actually be amazing.”
How about a cold shower? I could go for one of those.
17
YAKOV
“This is a shitty joke, Isay.” I kick my feet up on my desk.
It’s the first time in almost two weeks that I’ve been in my office. Gregory must have missed my presence here, because he darted through my legs to get into the room before I could close the door. Now, he’s curled in a ball in his bed in the corner.
“It’s not a joke, sir. All of the information I have is saying that Pavel has no plans to seek revenge.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
I flip through the folder of information Isay put together on Pavel. He was kicked out of three boarding schools for extreme, unwarranted violence. It’s not unusual in our world. Pavel was the spare to his brother’s heir. That can come with a fuck load of resentment.
My father never made Nikandr feel like a backup in case anything ever happened to me, but a lot of fathers in our world aren’t afraid to funnel all of their resources into the eldest son and neglect the others.
Pavel was the useless second son and his parents never let him forget it. But apparently, when I took out their father, Akim stepped up for Pavel. He covered up his messes with school and gave him a position within the Bratva. Akim was the parent Pavel never had.
And I just killed him.
“Pavel wants revenge,” I say flatly. “There’s no way he doesn’t want to kill me for taking away his brother. I would if I was him.”
“All I can tell you is what I’m seeing and hearing. Right now, Pavel has his nose deep in the other Gustev businesses. The raid we conducted to save Luna decimated their highest-ranking lieutenants. He has a lot of rebuilding to do. It doesn’t look like revenge is high on his to-do list.”
That would be good news… if it was true.
“Keep watching him,” I order. “If you hear or see anything strange, I want to know about it.”
“Yes, sir.”
I hang up with Isay and lean back in my chair.
It doesn’t make any sense. I’d love to believe Pavel Gustev has no intention of coming after me for murdering his brother, but I know better. I’ve been around long enough to know that taking out someone like Akim always has consequences.
