One & Only, page 11
“What I am trying to say is that, I may lead you, I may feel your pain once in a while, I may not understand it, but I aim to be that friend in time of need. You are all family and when my people feel lost and alone, I want to be the one whose laughter makes their day, because you are already mine. When I see children in their mother’s womb, their soul reaching out to connect in spirit, when they are born and they smile, feel the joy of a new birth, and the loss of a loved one, I understand and I realize that I belong. In hard times I want you to count on family. Within and without as family we will all stand with you, a big pool of mismatch that you fight and celebrate with are yours to hold. As a secret in this world, we can only rely on each other. Whether you are a blood drinker, those who loathe it, creatures of the sea, land and air, those don't matter because you are family. We belong to each other and as supers we rely on each other.
I want everyone to remember, form this day forth, we are who we stand for and when you behave well you represent your people and when you behave badly that still reflects on them and the larger group. I want you all to be able to look in the mirror and proudly see a clan that has been, and will be strong for generations to come.” I lifted my hands and removed the glamour as I continued with the next statement, “I may be young in body but you all make me wise and that's what is important because without you. I can't be. It's my prayer that this journey with all of you will make me a better being for all time." I finished my speech and it shocked the heavens out of me while the rest of them were still looking at me in shock as it finally dawned on them that I was so different that any other leader that they had ever had before.
I knew my eyes were swirling in purple as my pasts were merging, I had tears in my eyes, pain in my soul but I knew everything would be okay. These were not tears of pain but of joy and acceptance and they were not mine but they belonged to everyone as hope bloomed across the bond and most of the fears were calmed down. I stood proud as I felt their understanding and i opened myself fully to the magic within as I levitated outside the city. There was a very bright light encompassing the magic pocket and I felt the need to just hug it, so I stretched my hand as if trying to hug a giant snow ball and it worked as in the midst of it all I could feel him. The central piece of the domino that was going to change the destiny of everyone. Tyler's heart beat more in rhythm with the thump of the flow of magic than anyone else's, and his colours called out to me, but this time, I could see the difference. I had thought I'd never be able to believe that anything was impossible, but how could it be possible that I could see wavelengths, that's what all the bonds felt to me. We were all living within the same breath and so their pain was mine, their joy was mine. They were mine even those that didn't want to acknowledge it.
In that moment, two people were looking for me in the multitude, they were the only ones who looked up to find me as they knew by instinct that I wasn't in my body. They understood that I was watching over them and even inside a building they could see through to me and straight to my eyes and they both had tears in their eyes as of understand the burden that was on me. One clutched their heart and whispered straight into mine, "I am sorry, you won't ever belong to me."
I don't know if he meant for me to hear or that was just him speaking to himself, but it cemented what I had already gathered, he was going to reject me and that was fine by me. Fate had given a chance at magic and our mate bind had been dying for a while now. At least within that time frame it was fine, a decision had been made and we both had to live with it and that was an enough thought to bring me down. Carefully without alerting anyone, I withdrew from my connection with them and blocked everything, my emotions couldn't be trusted even though I smiled and waved them before sitting down as they clapped. I turned to look for the tother that knew what they had down and I wanted answers to the powerful glamour that they had that could camouflage even the colours of my bong with them, and they were nowhere to be found.
An entertainment group begun presenting almost immediately and everyone grouped themselves into smaller cliques. The most important part of the party was done and as my obligation, I stayed and talked dance here and there, of course with the high kings surrounding me until everyone was gone leaving us in the room. I was exhausted so I just offered my arm to Ladilla and we left for my room.
"We should talk." Aldira said and the rest agreed so we held a small gathering in my room. I sat on the bed while they made themselves comfortable wherever they could do.
"This year, the ball has been held so close to the werewolves’ mating ceremonies, and since that's your origin, you are required to attend." Zee said
"That includes Tyler too, which means all of us have to go with you. Based on the calculations o far and the number of werewolf clans we have to pass though, it will be a one-month journey with overnight stays in some clans. The final ceremony will be at Tyler's old clan since that's where he wants to hold it." Alchemy said
"And you discussed this without bothering to include me in it? So, basically this is what you have been doing all night.” I paused because I was frustrated with them treating me like a kid yet again. I turned to all of them pissed. “Do I look stupid? How could they make a decision when it's my life.”
"No," Aldira, as always, the spokesperson for them said as they all looked at their feet and rightly so. Yet I could still feel their defiance and indignation that I would question their decision.
"This is redundant.” Alchemy begun but stopped short when I just looked at him and raised an eyebrow, still he went on, “you have been here for only a short while so you might not understand that there are customs and traditions to be followed. They have been there for generations even before some of us joined the high council. You are young so you might not understand the importance of doing this so we made the call......".
"I see, if you excuse me, I have history to learn." I said simply and walked out. I was really angry and even though I knew that my anger didn’t start with them but his statement made it only worse.
Whether I wanted to do this or not, at one point they will have to learn. I was tired and with the slight hints of betrayal brewing and pain I felt, I knew it would bring devastation if I chose to release it in that room. Ladillacame running after me but she didn't say anything. She held my hand and pulled me with through a door. One minute I was standing in the hallway and the next we were in my forest, I was home and I couldn't have been any happier, except there was still a storm brewing in me.
"It's okay to let it all out now." she said.
I looked into her eyes and mine begun to tear up as a sound came from deep within me making me shake in anguish tormented me until I opened my mouth and howled. It wasn't just any howl because I could feel the ground shake and the trees sway. It was a burst of energy that was both alarming but exhilarating and in a flash all my anger went away as I collapsed into her waiting arms. She held me and sang and even though I didn't understand the words, but they soothed me and made me feel that everything was going to be fine. No matter which way it turned, it would be okay because that was my destiny and there was no escaping it or changing it. What she didn't know, and I wasn't going to tell her was that my mind was already made up. It was time to give the people something that would benefit them, and at the same time end my unfortunate fate. It was worth it because on the horizon I could see that the cycle I was going through with Tyler wouldn't end, and it didn't look like it would not improve either. Making lemonades out of lemons was not working for me, so I must as well uproot the tree and plant an orange.
The voices in my head were not convinced I could do it and were very adamant that I should stop the nonsense. One of them, a very old voice from the days of beginning was the most insistent since he'd also tried also something similar but and failed almost killing a whole species group in the process. He was also the main reason why the griffiths had gone into hiding and while luck had ensured that their spirits had moved on, the advice was still there they could not act anymore. I knew that some of the voices if not all were me from my past life, so the advice was valid but it wouldn't stick either wat, I was a different person now.
After a while of being soothed by song and calming down, I walked into the palace looking at it from a fresh angle. It was beautiful as it carried a history of several generations. The first supers born on earth had been born on these grounds before being sent out to the new world. The practice of child birth in the pool of birth in the places had continued to be been done for several generations before numbers and traditions outgrew the place. There were some families that still believed in the practice so the birthing chamber wasn't closed off completely but most clans didn’t practice that any more. Paintings of the previous world and of beings that were long now extinct were on the walls in the hallways. Echo of the future and the past met in the middle making it sound musical. Both love and hate bounced off the walls in a balance that reflected the struggles of lives that have been lived to the fullest. The regret of some of the passed supers could be seen in the tokens laid on the sacred grounds in the middle of the castle, where there some people were tending to the flowers in full bloom. My home was one of a kind. This is when I realized that I belonged and my destiny was planned a long time ago, written in colours that only I would represent, however, it was ten years too late. Whoever was going to come after me was going to be a very lucky person, and that was all that mattered. My decision was irrevocable and there was the potential that it signaled my death.
"You will need my help to pull this through." a voice caught my attention and I turned to where it was coming from, the eagle clan king and as if a force was pulling me to him, I smiled as a I fully turned to face him. Whatever he meant to me or whatever role he was meant to play in my existence was big enough for me to feel giddy just by just seeing him. If I hadn’t tampered with the fate glass and looked to my future to find the fate of my mate, he would have been one of the potential candidates as my bond sang.
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CH3-V
"And pray tell me why you think I might need your help?" I asked with my head turned to look to somewhere beside him not bearing to look at the eyes that were begging for something that I was still not willing to admit to myself.
I could not only see his colours, in a strange way they were very similar to that of my mate. So, I stared for a long time and when he didn't move or comment on it, I read him, I reached out to him in the threads of fate that connected every creature under my rule. I could feel the pull he had for me but for some reason, he was working very hard to stay aloof in my presence not willing to submit like the colours in the bond begged for. This made his colours warp and untangle each time he tried to relax and he seemed to suppress his need to reach out for me hence forcing him to emit powerful aura of a mashed rainbow. The dance looked familiar in the interlacing in a firm but restrained way; it was quite fascinating, so on a whim I moved a step forward and my eyes met his. He drew in a breath and became stiff while his colours moved forward as if willing to just touch mine as the aura expanded and contracted.
"I don't think you should step any closer than that." he said with a short breath.
"Why is that?" I asked curiously as I stepped forward again only to watch him recoil in some sort of pain, which in the weirdest way, seemed pleasurable for him. It shocked me. I came to realize that he found me attractive. The confusion came because I questioned why it was hard for him to withstand the attraction. Shifters were rarely shy about their feelings whether hate, lust, love or indifference, it was easily expressed.
"Since you have already figured it out, can we go in and get to business. This wasn't a social call." He hurriedly straightened himself, back to the aristocratic man I had seen before. His colours dulled a little, which made me sad. As I looked at him trying to figure out what his deal was, without hesitance, he walked off towards my office. It took me a little while watching his tushy to realize he was leading the way.
"You will have to wait a while. I wasn't planning on starting work right away after getting home." I whined as I followed him which was rare for me and even the voices in my head agreed. The problem was that my office was a mess and it was just as private for me as my bedroom and it was when that thought hit that I stood alert, he was heading to my private office where I had never allowed any meeting
Before I could protest and question his motive, he spoke. "You mean after running away from the hurt when your mate partially rejected you?" he said and turned to look at me only for me to see the teasing expression in his eyes and the way his brows slightly went up.
The pain must have been evident on my face because he was suddenly apologetic. He cocked his head to one side then smiled mischievously which seemed so odd that it made me smile and somehow touched by the small gesture. He walked back to me and wordlessly walked by my side as I led him away from the office and into other deeper part of the castle. I knew I was running away from my office but he didn't say anything and I didn't ask. When I stopped, he did the same, once I would move, he followed. In the time I tried thin, I was conscious of the longing stares he'd give me once in a while. He didn't make me uncomfortable but the looks made me distantly sad as if someone had just taken something from me and if I looked further, I would reach out for it but it would unfortunately be taken away from me.
By the time we headed back to the house, it was at night and dinner was being served. He didn't ask about whether he was invited or not and I also seemed to have definitely understood that it was a given that he will dine with me. A silent companionship and understanding had passed through our souls. The servants prepared the room opposite mine for his overnight stay. I could hear them whisper as they rushed to get it done and for the first time in a very long while, the silence of the dining as we ate didn't bother me. Whatever he was I didn't want to ask and in some weird sense I was afraid to because it would break whatever serenity I was experiencing.
"Take that way, he is allergic to peanuts." I suddenly said and shocked as both when the servant put a dish on the table. "How do I know that?" I asked in alarm.
"Because part of your soul remembers me." he said simply and continued to eat.
I didn't ask what he meant but it seemed to me that I understood what he was saying yet I still could not place how. The situation only worsened after dessert.
"Dendar, I thought that your eating habits would have changed with the many times you have been born but they are still the same. Grapes after dessert." he said
"Of course, after all they are the reasons why you always kiss me after dinner." I said and we both stopped drinking the glass of wine which was half way towards our lips. He then drowned his wine but I was too shocked. I couldn’t trust my hand so I gently put the glass down on the table.
"What the heavens was that! How do I know you were talking to me and how do I see you asking the same thing over and over. What did you do to me?" I asked him and he just sighed, poured himself a glass full of wine and drowned it in one go.
"We need to talk." he said as he got up from the table and headed to my office again. This time I didn't object, I followed him.
"Why do you seem to know these halls so well?"
"Because you designed it as my wedding gift and would throw the most extravagant celebrations in honour of my birthday. Because in every nook and canny in these halls lies memories of you holding me and telling me it would be okay even as all the children passed on to build another world. Because in every brick that was laid, every piece of clothing here, you covered my shame and transported us through to another world. Because this is the only piece of evidence that I existed once, that our world existed once, that you knew me once. Because this is my heart." he said with passion and tears in his eyes. With every word his voice seemed to be breaking.
I could feel his pain in each sentence as it punctuated some feeling would rise in me like something was hitting my chest. Every word telling of the longing in his voice and I only wanted to wrap him tightly to me. For each breath I held while he clenched his fists and the bird in him coiled in a self-imposed cage, my heart broke again. My mate was forgotten and I could only see this strange man. His colours flaring and his past laughter echoing through me. I knew his laughter before, I knew his smile and I was sure that I looked forward to seeing it. Yet why couldn't I place how and why. Silently we entered the office and he sat on my most favourite chair. He looked like a child and the image of a me who wasn't me holding him wrapped up in my arms on the same chair suddenly came. I walked in front of him and he automatically stood up as if knowing what I was thinking then, I sat. It came as no surprise when he sat in my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck with his face buried on the nook of my neck as he sniffed and cried. It came natural to me to hold and comfort him as his body molded perfectly to mine and his essence as whole fitted with mine.
