Kingdom of Embers and Ruin, page 14
Maude brushed the sand off her leggings and turned her back on Herrick, not allowing him to see the frustration on her face.
“I know what I’m doing,” Maude said roughly before facing him again, hands loose at her side for their next round.
Understanding flooded Herrick’s features before a sly smile appeared on his mouth. With every defeat, Maude felt her temper grow wafer-thin, and she could see that Herrick was about to make it so much worse before he spoke again.
“Is that really the best you can do? For someone who walks around with a sharp tongue and deadly promises on her breath, you really can’t back it up with your galder, can you?”
“Herrick,” Gunnar warned as he eyed Maude.
“With how often you’ve threatened me these last few days, I expected more from you,” Herrick continued, ignoring Gunnar.
Flames crackled between Maude’s fingers, the corners of her eyes darkening as her focus zeroed in on the beautifully aggravating man in front of her.
“Herrick, I don't think—” Hakon started to say, but Herrick’s next words cut him off, solidifying her reaction.
“No wonder you’ve been running all these years, coward.”
The world around Maude went silent, the darkness creeping in the corners of her vision blinding her to everything except her rage.
Her galder was rising in a tidal wave of power and beginning to ripple out of her as she tried to contain it. Despite using every method of restraint she knew, Maude felt her control on her galder slip away from her with every heartbeat until she could sense the crest of her anger explode out of her.
She snapped. Waves of fire erupted from her in a huge blast. The trees in the oasis bent under the power of her emotion, taking control of her galder. She saw Herrick’s friends duck and hit the sand so they would not be blasted into ashes from her fire.
Herrick had been ready, though, and as soon as he saw the blast leave her body, he created a wall of ice around her. The fire surrounding her body melted through the frozen water quickly, so he refroze it repeatedly until her rage had finally bottomed out and her fire was extinguished.
Maude fell to her knees in the sand and bent over on all fours, breathing heavily as her body cooled from the explosion that had been her fury. Limbs trembling, she focused on bringing the dry air into her lungs and calming her racing heart.
Head down so she didn’t have to see the hatred and disgust in the people around her, Maude kept breathing until she finally felt some semblance of relief. The weight of her power sometimes required that she burn off the excess energy as she had just done, but for someone with a short temper like hers, it could be dangerous to push too far.
Sensing that someone was walking over to her, she held out one hand. “Wait.”
They ignored her and crouched when they reached her spot in the sand, rain-soaked earth wrapping around her in a comforting embrace. Herrick. His words echoed through her, and she heard only the truth in his taunts.
No wonder you’ve been running all these years, coward.
Maude knew he was saying it to bring her over the edge so she would show him the depth of her power, but the words had slammed into her, reminding her how right he really was.
Not wanting to hear anything else he had to say, Maude pushed herself back onto her knees and tried to stand. When she looked up, golden brown eyes shone through the new darkness that had finally fallen over the desert, reflecting not disgust but absolute awe.
“You have a strength I have never seen before in anyone, minn eldr. The power I just felt through that blast could level a battlefield,” he said as he extended a hand out to her so she could stand.
She took it, feeling weaker than when they had begun an hour ago.
“Your problem is emotional regulation. You allow your emotions to control you— your anger takes over and controls you rather than the other way around,” he said softly as he continued gripping her hand. “I can help with that; we all can.”
He was wrong. When she let go of her control, her galder seemed to breathe and relax, but she didn’t feel like explaining herself. “I can’t just change how I feel, Herrick.”
“You don’t have to. You only have to learn to work with your emotions and not against them.”
“Sure,” she said as she pulled away from him. She scrubbed her face a few times as she turned away from Herrick. “I don’t know if I can do that— work with my emotions. They get away from me most of the time, as you just saw.”
His eyes were still on her; she could feel them. “You can because I did. You’re not the only one who struggles because they feel everything intensely, Maude.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She brushed the double meaning in his words.
“You do.”
Maude didn’t answer; she only turned to look at Herrick. There was no pity in his eyes, only calm resolve.
She could let them help her, she thought to herself.
She would have to force her pride down, but she could do it if it helped her neutralize Helvig. Maude looked over to their spectators. Hakon and Gunnar looked impressed as they excitedly spoke in hushed tones to each other while Liv looked weary. Eydis, the sweet creature that she was, had a mixture of awe and determination on her face as she analyzed Maude’s movements.
Gods above, save her from having to instruct Eydis in galder.
“Okay, I’ll do it, but I won't apologize if I burn you again because you decided to piss me off,” Maude finally said, her voice heavy with the bitterness of her concession.
“I can agree to that,” Herrick laughed, but the look on Maude’s face made him pause.
“Don’t ever push me like that again, Herrick,” she said, weariness creeping into her words. “You don’t know me or why I am the way I am, so if we’re going to do this, you need to promise that you won’t push me like that again.”
Herrick’s intense gaze scanned her face, his eyes tracing the scar that cut through the left side of her face and bisected her eyebrow before making its way down her cheek to the corner of her mouth.
“Okay, you set the limits,” he said softly.
Tension pulsed between them as the world quieted around them. Maude felt something tug at her center, making her sway toward Herrick slightly. He must have felt the same because he took one step closer to her, closing the gap between them until one deep breath from Maude would have her pressed against his sculpted frame. From how close they were, Maude could count the freckles that ran over the bridge of Herrick’s nose.
Maude ran her tongue over her lips to wet them, causing Herrick’s gaze to flicker down to her mouth. Desire flared in her core at the sight. Herrick leaned in, his cool breath skating across her flushed skin. Time seemed to stop for a moment as Maude tried to sort through the riot of feeling in her chest. One second. Two seconds.
Their small bubble of suspended time was broken by the sounds of Herrick’s friends readying to leave and Gunnar walking up to them. They quickly stepped away from each other.
“Hey, if you two are done pummeling each other into the sands, we should head out if we want to make it anywhere tonight,” Gunnar said as he tossed Maude’s pack to her.
She caught it and quickly slung it over her shoulder, walking over to their horse. The others were settling onto their mounts and were heading southeast. Maude pulled herself onto her shared horse with Herrick and settled in front of him for the second time that day, but he thankfully spared her from any comments this time.
The interrupted moment between them was still ebbing away as they set forward, picking up speed to catch up to Hakon. Eydis had leaned back against Hakon’s chest with her eyes closed, her silver hair glowing even in the darkness of the new moon above them. Hakon quickly pulled a hood over her head to cover the beacon she had become. Herrick steered their horse over to his brother as Maude kept an eye on their surroundings in case of bandits or draugr.
“Will you tell me what delayed your arrival to Engate now, brother?” Herrick asked him, his voice low so they didn't attract the attention of any creatures hunting through the night.
“There really isn’t much to tell you,” Hakon sighed, the movement causing Eydis to wake a bit and shift against his chest. He absentmindedly reached out a gentle hand and smoothed her hair down beneath the cloak but stopped once he noticed Maude’s attention on him.
“I think you have an interesting story to tell, even if it was uneventful,” she said to him, eyeing Eydis and then looking back up at him with a smirk.
“I didn’t say it was uneventful, just that only one small setback occurred on our escape,” Hakon gruffed, tightening a protective arm around Eydis’s waist.
“Out with it, Hakon,” Herrick snapped.
Maude snickered to herself as she realized his ever-present patience seemed to only come to a swift end with her and his brother. Herrick pinched her ribs at the sound of her amusement, and she promptly elbowed him in the stomach.
Ignoring them, Hakon began his story.
“We got to the wall with no problems until we stopped to strap her infant brother to her front so she could climb with both hands. A group of soldiers turned the corner before we could even get more than a few feet off the ground, and I realized we would never make it to the top if we kept going. We jumped down and ran before they could get close enough to question us, but that was the wrong thing to do. We ran for a few blocks, taking cover in an alley when they split up and cornered us.”
Maude noticed his hands on the reins in front of Eydis were tight, knuckles standing out against his skin. She wondered what had been said between Eydis and Hakon in those moments as sparks ignited between them and tension fueled their words.
“I managed to talk our way out of being clapped in chains, allowing us to walk to their base. We only got a few blocks further when the captain of the group looked closer at my face,” Hakon said quietly. He looked at Herrick, dread heavy in his features. “The captain recognized me. I slew him with no hesitation. Drowned him on dry land. We ran and hid in one of the abandoned houses by the eastern gate and waited until the next night to escape again. We ended up having to take a longer route to Engate to avoid more soldiers as they had picked up on our trail. That’s why we took longer to get there, but we couldn’t avoid them entirely. That’s why we had to leave Engate before they caught on.”
Maude didn’t understand why it was so important that he was recognized. He was a noble from the Kingdom of Rivers, which was uncommon, but it wasn’t illegal for them to visit Logi. The remorse for killing the captain on the spot was expected, she supposed, for someone who hadn’t had to fight for their survival their entire life. Herrick had stiffened slightly during his brother’s story, but he relaxed quickly.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with that on your own, Hakon. I should’ve been there with you,” Herrick said, clapping a hand on his brother's shoulder.
“Why is it so bad that he was recognized?” Maude asked, unable to stifle her curiosity.
Both brothers were silent for a moment too long until Herrick spoke first after clearing his throat.
“The Kingdom of Rivers nobles need a permit from King Helvig to enter the city. We don’t have one.”
The reply was a bit too stiff, and Maude could taste the dishonesty in the air between them.
“Okay, now tell me the real reason.” She turned slightly to glare at Herrick out of the corner of her eye.
“You have your secrets, and we have ours.”
Maude watched his expression as he spoke and saw the plea in his eyes not to push further on the subject. She supposed she understood that; she was also withholding information.
“One day, I’ll tell you everything, but not right now. This needs to stay quiet while we are outside of the walls of Veter,” Herrick continued.
“I’m not going to Veter, so I guess you’ll just have to keep your secret then,” she said to him, turning back to face forward.
“You don’t want to see the Kingdom of Rivers?” Hakon asked, relieved to let his story pass.
“I’d love to, but I can’t,” Maude replied, her tone implying she wouldn’t tolerate any further questions on the statement.
They both looked at her curiously but let the topic drop. Herrick slowed their horse down to let Hakon and Eydis take up a spot between them in the rear while Gunnar and Liv rode at the front of their group. Maude watched Hakon absentmindedly run his thumb across Eydis’s thigh, where his hand rested. A small piece of her soul that she thought had been forgotten yearned for a gentle touch like that.
“It can never last between them,” Herrick said sadly once they were out of earshot.
“Why do you say that?”
“He is already promised to another, an arrangement set up by our parents.”
Maude turned to look at Herrick, sorrow shining on his face at the sight of his brother’s fate. The silence of the desert around them made his words seem louder than they were, the only other sound being the sand shifting beneath the horses’ movements.
“Maybe the arrangement can be withdrawn,” Maude said, trying to ease Herrick’s sadness. She didn’t know why she bothered.
“I doubt it. We all have our duties in life, our fates written for us.”
Maude scoffed. “Do you so strongly believe in your fate?”
“Of course. I make my own choices, but I allow my fate to guide my decisions as well, where it can,” Herrick said without hesitation. “It’s part of our culture; the strongest of our people embrace their fate.”
“That is a fool’s response,” Maude bit out without hiding her disgust for the idea. She shifted a bit so he couldn’t feel her anger starting to boil up in her.
“You cannot fight your fate, minn eldr. It is written for a reason.”
“So we can only be what the gods decided for us? You are going along with a plan that did not consider your wants before they inked it into your skin. It is a violation of our free will.”
“Our free will is entirely intact. We all make choices for ourselves, but what we are destined for is already woven by the Norns. We get to our fate by the choices we make,” Herrick argued. “Our parents are present for the drawing of the runes, but they are forbidden from telling us what they are so that we may make our own choices without the influence of them ruling our actions.”
“Yes, well, not all the parents hold their tongues. Some are so swept up in the ‘glory’ of their child's fate that they wish to mold them into whatever monster they choose,” she let slip before she could stop herself.
Herrick pulled on the reins to slow their horse, separating them from the group.
“Your parents told you your fate?” He asked, his voice laced with anger and disbelief.
Maude kept her back straight and closed her eyes for a moment, scolding herself for letting that detail of her past slip. It was forbidden to tell your child of their fate for the very reasons Herrick had explained. Maude had always been resentful that her fate had been revealed to her; she had been trying to outrun it ever since the last fight she’d had with her father.
Shutting down the emotions that were rising to the surface, Maude said, “Forget I mentioned anything.”
“Maude—”
“I said let it go, Herrick.”
With that, she squeezed her knees around the horse so they started moving again. Sensing that she needed to be quiet for a time, Herrick did not push the subject. Maude focused on forcing her emotions down again so her galder didn’t explode out of her before they made it back to the group.
“Is your fate so horrible that you would keep running from it rather than make the best of it?” Herrick asked so quietly she knew only she had heard him.
Maude was silent for a long time before she answered.
“Yes.”
It had been torture to ride with Maude in front of him for so long, especially after the moment they had shared when she had lost her temper. To feel her soft curves up against him, to be wrapped in her bonfire-smoking cedar scent, and to be aware of every breath she took had driven him to the brink of absolute madness.
Herrick knew how to get under anyone’s skin; he could irritate anyone into agreeing with him or fighting him. When they had fought before heading out for the night, he had seen a side of her that had proven to him how much she struggled. She wouldn’t allow him to see her in any weakened state for long, though, stubborn as she was.
Maude vexed him in a way that not even Hakon could compete with; she knew how to hit every nerve he had, how to be so contrary that he could only grow more frustrated. He had such limited patience with her when she fought with him, but the more they argued, the more he realized he enjoyed it. Maude had burrowed under his flesh and latched herself on to him without even knowing it.
She was an angry, frustrating, and difficult person to be around most of the time, which probably made it easier for her to keep people at arm’s length. It was clear that her past haunted her, shaping her into the distrustful person she was.
When Maude wasn't paying attention, however, he could also see she was kind and funny, that she had a good heart, and someone had tried to tear her down for it. He couldn’t just offer these observations to her either because she had a temper that could rival his own sometimes. He enjoyed having his balls where they were: attached to his body.
Herrick was certain, deep in his soul, that she would let down her barriers with him. Maude was stubborn, but so was he. He couldn’t explain why he had this inflexible need for her to know that he saw through her veil of indifference to the world around her. He needed her to know that he could see her clearly for who she was.
Their small party had traveled through most of the night without any problems. A few trollen had made themselves known, but Maude was able to spit some fireballs at them. Her use of her fire had seemed to improve now that they were out of the city and no longer had to hide from the soldiers, but she had bottomed herself out pretty spectacularly when they fought.
