Stormcrow, page 8
“I'm not saying it is,” she nodded, though only Tony was looking. “I'm just explaining what might be in the Cap'n's head, that's all. You got to understand how she thinks. How military people think.”
“I know all about how 'military' people think,” Galen's voice was cold. Still. “And I don't care. You might want to keep that in mind, Gunnery Sergeant.” With that he rose, his actions smooth and swift, so abrupt that even the cook moved back in his seat.
“Thanks for the sandwich, Doc,” he said evenly. Gathering up his bundle he left for his bunk, never looking back. Tony watched him go then turned back to Faulks.
“You have a real talent for butting in where you aren't wanted or needed. You know that, Faulks?”
“You think what you want,” the woman surprised him, shrugging. “I meant no harm in what I said. Like I told you, I was just explaining how the Captain thinks. She was trained to accept responsibility for everything and everyone under her command. No exceptions. And while she ain't in the Navy no more, she still thinks that way.”
“None of that gives her the right or the need,” Tony emphasized, “to dig into someone's family life, Faulks.”
“I don't disagree,” Faulks surprised him again. “But you think about this. Sean Galen has been on this ship for three years and no one had a clue that he was capable of anything like what he did this morning. Not. A. Clue. Don't that give you a little bit of a problem, knowing he's been sleeping next door down from you all this time?”
“You mean as opposed to you being two doors down and across the hall?” Giannini sneered. “Comes to that I'm a lot more concerned about a loose cannon like you than I am a controlled weapon like Sean Galen.”
“I'm a known quality,” she shrugged. “You know what to expect from me,” she turned to go. “Can you say the same about him?” With that she withdrew.
The medic sat there thinking about her statement but he wasn't fooled. Faulks might act like she was trying to be reasonable, but the truth was that she was suddenly faced with a Sean Galen who was far more capable than she'd thought. A man she had continually taunted and teased and tried to provoke without success. Now she was worried that a sleeping killer had woke up and might take exception to her treatment of him.
Tony thought that was just too funny.
Supper was strained. Silence reined around the table where normally there was small talk, laughing and joking. Tony had made spaghetti, a crew favorite, and everyone dug in with gusto including Sean Galen. Meredith had been surprised to see the engineer at supper since he had skipped lunch, but he had reported as usual, taking his normal seat without saying a word.
For Sean's part, he was enjoying the meal since this was almost certainly the last time he would get to eat Tony Giannini's spaghetti and it really was one of his favorites. To say it was delicious was an understatement.
He had considered the cook's words that afternoon but was unmoved by them. He had stayed here too long. This always happened to him, no matter where he went, no matter how careful he was. He had thought this time was different. He had been so very careful here.
It had been the girl. She had been a weakness he should have ignored. He should have never let her come on the bridge, let alone talk him into taking her off ship. He grimaced mentally at the thought. She hadn't talked him into anything. He had seen her, wide-eyed and wondrous about the world outside her little sphere, and decided her would help her learn. That had been his mistake, so it was on him and not on her.
She was a good kid and he had tried to help her. Had helped her at least a little he was sure. She would always remember the lesson he taught her, and it would grow as she learned more on her own. She would be able to fend for herself he was certain. And for some reason that he could not understand that was important to him. He would likely never understand it.
And it was done in any case. No sense dwelling on it. He would move on, as he always did when the past caught up with him.
With that thought he helped himself to second helping of spaghetti and ignored the stillness at the table. It didn't bother him nearly as much as it did the others.
The silence bothered Meredith. It signified trouble on her ship. Trouble that hadn't been there this morning. Trouble that she was beginning to understand just might be her fault.
The day since lunch had been difficult for her. She had expected Linc to approach her with an apology for earlier, but that hadn't happened. Nor had his cold shoulder warmed any, either. She wanted to be angry about that but a niggling thought in the back of her mind kept her from saying anything in haste;
What if he was right?
She didn't want admit it. Admitting she was wrong in any kind of command decision was anathema to her. You made decisions and you stuck to them. Good, bad, indifferent, you had to be the Captain.
And it wasn't as if she had fired Sean Galen. He had made the decision to leave all on his own. Her conscience tried to make her feel responsible because of her actions but she resisted that. She had the right to know those things, she told herself firmly. She needed to know those things so that she could make proper decisions and avoid being caught by surprise. As she had been earlier today.
Of course Linc, and apparently Tony Giannini, hadn't been surprised at all. That was something that bothered her as much if not more than the fact that she felt as if Sean Galen had basically lied to her. He hadn't of course, save perhaps by omission, but still. She didn't like the idea that someone she had trusted had hidden something that important from her.
She observed her crew as they ate in silence, however, and realized that she had wrecked her ship's morale by her actions, justified or not. Linc had been right about one thing. She would never have dressed Faulks down like she had Galen with the entire crew and a passenger watching and listening. She would have met with the Gunny in private and made her displeasure known without involving the rest of the crew and certainly not the passenger.
And she should never have spoken to her husband like she had, either. He had never been anything but supportive of her quest to return to space and had in fact been the one to suggest and encourage her to pursue getting her own ship if she couldn't stay in the Navy. And had left his own career behind so that he could be with her.
She had not discussed what she'd planned to do in the meeting with Linc and she could tell now, again with the benefit of hindsight, that he had been surprised if not shocked. He had tried to tell her when they were still on the ground that pursuing this train of thought was out of line but she had been angry for some reason that she was still unable to completely grasp. There was no reason for it and yet there it was.
She still clung to the idea that she had been right, however, refusing to accept or even entertain that she didn't have the right to do as she had. It never crossed her mind in all her ruminations that she had crossed a line she shouldn't have when she started digging into Sean Galen's family life. His family had no bearing on his job or his dependability.
Even after Linc tried to point that out to her, she had failed to back up and see it. He had tried to get her to see that she was wrong, at least in that, and she had flatly refused to listen. Not only that but had spoken to him far more harshly than he deserved.
What a mess you've made, Meredith.
The proper thing to do was approach Galen in private and try to mend that fence. Explain why she had acted the way she had and ask him to understand her position as Captain of the ship. But her pride kept getting in the way of that decision, refusing to allow her to consider that course of action as acceptable.
So she would have to hire a new engineer and upset the balance of a good crew that had served her well for nearly three years. How would that change the way the ship ran? How would it affect the others?
And while she worried about that she still had a disgruntled husband to deal with. It was looking more and more as if Linc was firmly convinced that his stance had been the right one and that her response to his input had been out of line if not completely uncalled for. She fought the urge to sigh. It had been a long day and she was tired.
Surely tomorrow would look better.
“Dude, seriously,” Tony was trying again. He had lured Sean Galen into the lounge with promises of dessert, in this case an apple crisp pie. “You can't just run off and leave me to fend for myself against Faulks. C'mon, now!”
“Tony, I appreciate the food, I really do,” Galen replied. “And I'll definitely miss your cooking, but have you seen anything change in all this?” he asked. “Cause I haven't.” He paused, setting the now empty dish on the table between them.
“Look, I'm not long on patience, Doc. I ignore a lot of things because if I don't then I'm prone to react poorly to them. One of the things I react most poorly to is any kind of denigration against my family. I don't really care who it is, either.” Galen took a deep breath, almost as if he regretted speaking.
“You've been a good friend, Doc,” he said finally. “I've enjoyed shipping with you and that's the truth. You're a laugh riot and it's never boring with you around. But,” he stood, “I don't think there's a place for me on this boat anymore. That's my fault, but I can't change it now. Honestly, if I had it to do over, I'd have stayed on the boat and let you take Jessica to see the sights, or maybe the Captain or Faulks.”
“Well, let's see,” Tony brought his finger to his chin, tapping it in a thoughtful pose. “I seriously doubt that I could have stopped those three. I will admit that I'm not as helpless or harmless as I may appear, but neither am I so capable as you seem to be, my young friend.” Sean snorted at that. Tony might be a year older, but then he might be a year younger, too.
“Faulks? If, and that's a huge if, she had accompanied the girl she would have tormented the poor thing for the entire time and made her miserable. And that's if the Captain told her to take it easy on the girl to start with. Jessica is terrified of Faulks, Galen. I doubt she would have accompanied her anywhere.”
“And I feel certain that the Captain would not have taken the time to escort the girl anywhere are all. So, that leaves Linc, who would have been tied up with the re-start, aaaannnnnd…you.” The final word was said flatly. Matter-of-factly.
“Be that as it may, I still made a mistake. And now I have to pay for it. I'll be getting off at Hartley. It's a good spot to pick up work, so all things considered I'm pretty lucky this happened now rather than somewhere further along. I might have been stuck on the Fringe for no tellin' how long.”
“Galen, please,” Doc stood as well, pleading with his friend. “At least be open to changing your mind, okay? We're still two days and change out from Hartley Station. There might be a change of heart between here and there.”
“Goodnight Doc,” Galen smiled. “Thanks for the pie.” With that he walked away, leaving his shipmate sighing in frustration.
The mood aboard the Celia didn't improve over the next two days. It didn't worsen any either, for which Meredith was grateful. She and Lincoln were still just barely speaking to each other and she was growing tired of that. He was being completely unreasonable and refused to see it. She had to make decisions for the ship based on what was best not just for them but for the entire crew. Sean Galen had become a wild card. After nearly three years he was suddenly someone they didn't know and she couldn't trust. At least that was how she saw it.
Linc on the other hand saw a man who had acted to save a young woman from a terrible fate and didn't really care how he had gone about it. To his mind Sean Galen had done a good job and that was all there was to say about it.
Since leaving the ground at Dry Commons Linc hadn't had more than ten words to speak to her that weren't work-related. She knew that had nothing to do with Sean Galen and everything to do with how she had dismissed his opinion about the situation. She had to admit, sooner or later, that she had been wrong.
Might as well start now, she decided. They were still a half-day out of Hartley Station.
“Are you ever going to speak to me?” she asked calmly as the two sat on the bridge alone.
“I've spoken to you all day,” Linc looked at her, puzzled.
“About the ship, yes,” Meredith nodded. “What about as husband and wife?”
“I'm the pilot right now,” Linc's words weren't a surprise, but they did sting. “I'll speak as a husband when we're on the ground. Well, station,” he amended. “I'm still working to get my head organized around this new dynamic,” he admitted. “I'll work it out.”
“There doesn't have to be a new dynamic, Lincoln!” Meredith snapped suddenly, her frustration boiling over. “Things have been fine up to now!”
“Had been, yes,” he replied calmly. “The last time I tried to speak to you as a husband, a partner, I was reminded that you were the Captain. Remember that?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “Because I do, Meredith. And I remember what I told you later. That won't happen to me again. Firstly, because I've earned better, or at least I'd like to think so. And secondly because I just don't intend to put up with it. I put up with your poking fun at my abilities, mostly because it's true. I'm not a natural pilot, I have to work for it. For all of it. That's the price I pay for wanting to be by your side,” he shrugged.
“I also put up with your trained ape,” he continued. “Always giving me the eye, always disrespectful, and always protected by you. That's going to change too, Meredith. One way or the other. You can either reign her attitude toward me in, or find yourself a new pilot as well as a new engineer.” He stood abruptly, obviously upset.
“I'll be in the guest quarters tonight,” he told her suddenly. “I need some time to think. And my shift is over, Captain, so if you'll excuse me?” Without waiting for her answer Linc stepped off the bridge and out of sight down the corridor, leaving a stunned Meredith in his wake.
Was Lincoln leaving her?
Linc stalked through the ship to the passenger area, taking a change of clothes and his kit with him as well as a reader with several books on it. He was angry and despite all his attempts he couldn't seem to get over it.
He threw his stuff on the bed and sat down heavily in the single chair, head in one hand. He and Meredith had always clashed over Faulks and the former Marine's attitude, but Meredith had always had the final say and that 'say' was that Faulks was okay. It didn't matter to her that Faulks seemed to hate him. Lincoln didn't really care one way or the other for what Faulks thought of him to be honest, but it made for a lousy working condition that was made tolerable only by the fact that he was sharing his life with his wife, whom he adored above all else.
He'd always thought that Meredith had felt the same way but now he was starting to question that. Not for the first time he reminded himself there was a reason that professional ethics frowned on a counselor becoming involved with a patient. In their case it hadn't been nearly as big a deal since he wasn't an actual doctor but a trained psychological and social counselor. One of the things he had done in the service was assist service members with the often difficult transition from military life back to civilians. The rules were different for civilians and military thinking was deeply ingrained. The longer the service, the deeper the training ran.
He had helped Meredith over her addiction to painkillers, then with her survivor's guilt over the Celeste. He then counseled her about her injuries and the loss of a promising Naval career. In the process of all these things he had fallen head over heels in love with her. That hadn't been his intention, of course.
When serving as a counselor you learned a great deal about another person. Another reason for the strict rules about the relationship between counselor and counseled. Linc had crossed those lines because he hadn't been able to help himself. Meredith Trenton had completely bowled him over and left him breathless in a way he'd never experienced. His heart still beat faster when she walked into the room. She could make him speechless with just a look.
And she could rip his heart out with one snarled comment, he sighed. He had not intended to question her command, and didn't think he had. He had seen her making a mistake and tried to head it off before she finished it. Tried to keep her from crossing a line of her own. Linc knew all about the dangers of crossing lines.
Her reaction had been to slap him down. He realized that she was angry, but he had presented a calm and rational argument about her behavior. She was in error, and that error was going to lead to more problems. The best thing to do was to correct that error before the situation could worsen. So he'd tried to do that.
Unfortunately, he'd failed to realize how angry Meredith was at the time. Failed to realize it because there simply was not a single, rational explanation, not one worthwhile reason for that anger. She was angry about absolutely nothing. And in her anger had lashed out at the voice of reason who had tried to point out that error to her.
Lincoln had always tried to be a salve to Meredith. She was in almost constant pain and taking pain medicines on a regular basis was a risk because of her former addiction. As a result, she suffered without them until and unless she simply couldn't take the pain anymore. Lincoln tried to be her crutch for those times. He tolerated a great deal for his wife simply because he loved her beyond reason. So much so that he had given up his own life to follow her into space. Just to be by her side.
Her treatment of him over this incident wasn't justified and that angered him. And that anger made him dredge up memories of other slights and ill-treatment that he had ignored over the years they had been together. Things that he had simply waved away because he knew she was in pain, because she was still suffering mental, physical and emotional trauma due to her injuries and the losses her ship had faced.
Now those things were coming back to him and he was angry.
Unlike his wife, however, Lincoln recognized his anger and was working to isolate it before it caused yet another problem between them. He sighed as his initial thought came back to him.
