Daddy’s Temptation, page 8
God, I’m nervous. I realize my leg is bouncing up and down and I stop it. I watch people go in and out of the restaurant and wait patiently. Unlike me, Bella is always late. As a Night Stalker, we couldn’t be late. Our missions were on short notice and ever since, I’m always early for everything.
But, at 6pm, a half an hour after we’re supposed to meet, I begin to wonder if she’s going to even show up. I check my phone for the twentieth time, but no text. I pull her name up, tell her I’m here and ask if she’s running late.
A minute later, my phone beeps. I open her text: Oh, no. So sorry, but I completely forgot. Can we reschedule?
I drop my head back against the building and sigh. She forgot? I’m glad that I rank so high in her life that she didn’t even remember we made plans to meet today. I feel like an asshole and even more so, a bad father.
This is all my fault. If I had focused more on our relationship when she was younger instead of my military career, I know we’d be closer right now. I suppose that I deserve this. It still hurts, though.
I text her back: Sure. How about tomorrow?
Her cool response comes a few seconds later: Let me check my schedule and I’ll get back to you.
I know exactly what that means. It means I’m going to have to change the birthday wrapping paper on this gift to Christmas paper.
I pull myself up from the bench and head back to my truck.
Back at Sunset Terrace, I park alongside the building, turn the car off and sit there for a long time. I think about Bella and how I’d give anything to mend our relationship. It literally makes my heart break to know that I have a daughter who doesn’t give a shit about me.
I just wish I could figure out what the hell to do to make things better. I know that I need to give her space and time, but a part of me wonders if that’s for the best. I feel her drifting further away.
I finally get out of the car and walk around the corner to my place. My gaze moves over the now-quiet pool where Hailey tormented me earlier to her apartment where a light brightens the window. I need to stop obsessing over her and figure out how to make things right with my daughter.
After shutting the door behind me, I toss the birthday present on a nearby table and head straight for the fridge and an ice-cold beer. Time to drown my sorrows. I twist the cap off and then drop down in my chair, take a long sip, but don’t bother to turn the TV on. I just want to sit here and be miserable.
Beside me, my open laptop dings. I roll my head over and look where it sits on the couch. With a long-suffering sigh, I reach over and drag it onto my lap to check my email. I haven’t checked lately and I’m sure there’s a ton of junk mail to delete.
I pull my new mail up and do a double take. There are at least 50 emails from the dating site. What the hell? I open the first one and it’s from Beth. Her profile picture shows that she’s a cute blonde sitting up on a horse. I open her message: Hi, Ryan- it’s so nice to meet you. I love your pic and would love to get to know you even more. Maybe you could take me flying?
Flying? Oh, yeah, I forgot that I posted a picture of me from my Night Stalker days. I’m thinking how I should respond back, but then decide I should read through all of the messages first and see if anyone strikes me as someone I’d like to get to know better.
I’ve never had so many women show this much interest in me and it’s kind of flattering. It’s probably just because I’m in my uniform in the picture. Women like men in uniform. Or, so I’ve heard.
Whatever. At this point, the messages help boost my mood. Some of them are sweet and flirty while others are just downright dirty. I delete the crude ones and focus on the more serious ones where the women seem to actually want to get to know me and not just have a one-night stand.
Ding. Ding. Ding.
Shit, I just got three new ones. They’re coming in faster than I can sort through them. And, I’m not going to lie. It feels pretty damn good. I spend the next few hours checking out the messages, women’s profiles and do some googling on them, too.
In the end, I find myself especially interested in a woman named Daphne. She’s divorced and a graphic designer close to my age with a 20-year old daughter. Her dark hair is shoulder-length and she appears fit and has a nice smile. I decide I’m going to message her back. Why the hell not? Isn’t that why I did this in the first place? To try and meet a nice woman?
Actually, I did it to get laid, but it would be nicer to find someone I had things in common with and to share my life with, right? I ask Daphne a little more about herself, finish my beer and glance down at my rugged watch. I can’t believe it’s almost midnight.
And, that’s when I hear the knock on my door.
With a frown, I set my laptop aside and stride over to open it. Hailey stands there in a tank top and shorts. Her long dark hair hangs loose around her gorgeous face and she gives me a tentative smile.
“I know it’s late,” she says, “but, I saw your light still on and I wanted to invite you to a gig I booked. It’s next Saturday at the Magnolia Club.”
“That’s really great,” I say. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I, ah, also wanted to apologize for earlier today. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
My heart rate increases exponentially and suddenly everything that we did the other night begins to play out in my head like a movie on the big screen. Every kiss, every touch, every time I thrust inside of her. I swallow hard and hear my laptop ding.
“I wanted to ask you for some advice, actually. Can I come in?”
I hesitate. I should be thinking about Darla, I mean Daphne, and possibly pursuing something with her, but this little girl in front of me is the one I want. I’m probably going to regret doing so, but I push the door wider and motion for her to come inside.
Hailey lets out a small sigh and looks up at me with those big, brown eyes that make me think of melted Hershey kisses. “What’s going on?” I ask.
“This is kind of embarrassing, but I don’t think we thought things through as thoroughly as we should have the other night.”
My heart sinks. Ah, fuck, she regrets it. I don’t know why exactly, but the idea that Hailey is having doubts about choosing me as her first upsets me. Maybe after having time to think things through, she feels like she made a mistake. Maybe I didn’t live up to her expectations.
Maybe we should’ve done it again.
I clear my throat. “Are you...disappointed?”
Her eyes widen. “No. Not at all. What I mean is we agreed to only be together one time. And, I’m beginning to think that was a bit of a hasty decision because…”
I wait for her to continue, pulse pounding, knowing exactly what she’s about to say.
“Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, Ryan. And, once wasn’t enough.”
Fuck. Without giving myself time to think, I yank her into my arms, crushing her against my chest. My mouth slams down and moves over hers with a desperateness that leaves us both breathless and panting.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, either,” I admit. I shouldn’t be telling her this, knowing that I should keep my distance, but I can’t. I run a hand through her hair and slant my head down to capture her lips again. All the slow gentleness from our first time together is gone and the gnawing hunger in my gut makes me rougher. My tongue plunges into her mouth and I push her back and down onto the couch. My laptop slides off the cushion and hits the carpeted floor with a dull thud.
As I stretch out over her body, she wraps her arms around my neck, arching beneath me, returning my heated kisses with just as much passion. Propped on my elbows, I drop my head and leave a trail of wet kisses down her silky neck. She wraps her legs around me, lifts her hips and I reach down and slide my hand down the front of her tiny shorts and into her panties.
Holy shit. She’s dripping and I stroke my fingers up and down her slit, coaxing her legs apart further. A moan spills from her throat and I slowly circle her throbbing clit.
“Ryan,” she murmurs, and her hips buck against my hand. “It’s too good.”
“You’re so wet for me,” I say in a raspy voice. I keep rubbing and stroking, working her until she’s crying out. “That’s right, baby girl. Let go.” I look down into her dark eyes and slide two fingers up inside her slick passage. Her eyes slide shut as I move my fingers in and out and keep pushing against her with my thumb. “Come for me, Hailey. Come right on my hand.”
“Oh, God,” she cries and tightens around my fingers. I can feel her lower body spasm and her nails dig into my shoulders. She lets out a long moan and shudders from her head down to her toes. I pull my hand out of her pants and her eyes flutter open.
“Is this all for me, Hailey?” I ask and show her my glistening hand.
“Every last drop,” she says.
I put my fingers in my mouth and suck them clean. The look on her face is priceless and I kiss her hard, sliding my tongue against hers, circling my rock-hard erection between her legs.
“I want you to teach me more,” she whispers. “I want you to be the father I lost.” She undulates her hips, grinding her hot, wet center against my cock. “I want you to show me, Daddy.”
“Fuck,” I hiss. How the hell am I supposed to say no to that? All rational thought goes out the window and all I can think about is being inside her again. “Gimme a sec,” I rasp and struggle up. My mind is hazy as I head down to the nightstand drawer in my bedroom and grab a condom.
I’m not going to think too hard about this right now. I’m just going to give us both a lot of pleasure and worry about the consequences later. My stupid laptop dings a couple more times and when I return to the living room, Hailey is sitting up and my computer is on her lap.
“You’re talking to women online?” she asks.
I can’t miss the hurt in her voice. Ah, shit. “It’s just a dating site I was on.”
“Was? Because someone named Daphne has sent you three messages in the last 15 minutes.”
I grab the damn laptop and drop it down on the chair. “I don’t care about that,” I tell her. I just want to take up where we left off, but her complete demeanor has changed.
“I care,” she whispers.
“Goddammit.” I sit down next to her, wishing I could turn it off as quickly as her. But, my cock is ready and raring to go and I shift on the couch, trying to find a degree of comfort. “Look, I thought meeting someone else would help me forget about you.”
When I see the look on her face, I know that was the wrong thing to say.
“You wanted to forget about me?”
“Yes! God, ever since you moved in here, you’ve been driving me fucking crazy parading around in those little shorts and your bathing suit and flirting with me. I know we shouldn’t be together, but it’s like all you do is tempt me day and night. And, I’m so fucking weak, Hailey.” I suck in a breath and she just blinks, absorbing my words. I look down at the condom in my hand and then toss it on the coffee table when my laptop dings again.
Hailey stands up and sniffs. “Daphne sent you another message.”
“Hailey-”
She stops at the door and glances over her shoulder at me. “I thought you were different. I’m sorry for bothering you, Ryan. It won’t happen again.”
I jump up and jog over to the door, but she’s gone and walking fast back to her place. I let out a long, frustrated sigh and drop my head against the doorframe.
Even though this is what I wanted-- to forget Hailey and focus on a woman more my age-- I feel like an asshole.
And, I have a feeling I just fucked everything up royally.
11
Hailey
I feel like such a complete idiot, I think as I hurry away from Ryan’s apartment and back to my place. I can feel tears burning the back of my eyes and I just want to throw myself into bed and cry.
“Hailey?”
My head snaps up and I notice Taylor on the sidewalk. Oh, no. I wonder if she saw me leave Ryan’s? She’s dressed up in her club gear and must’ve just finished dancing at Club Noir. “Hey,” I say in a shaky voice and swipe at my nose.
“Were you just at Ryan’s?”
“Um…” Shit. I don’t know what to say. So, I don’t say anything and instead burst into tears.
“Oh, Hailey, what’s wrong?” She walks over and concern laces her voice. “Do you wanna talk about it?
I nod and push my door open. I never thought Ryan would hurt me like this. I thought he was one of the good guys and would protect me. I sit on the couch and wipe the tears away. Taylor lets me finish crying and then reaches out and touches my arm.
“What’s going on?”
I sniffle, not sure how to begin, but I think she already has a good idea of what’s going on.
“You and Ryan?” she asks. I bite my lip and nod. “I kind of had a feeling.”
“Really?”
“I saw the way you two kept looking at each other that day at the pool.”
“I thought he cared,” I say.
Taylor lets out a long sigh. “They all make you think that they care. Even nice guys like Ryan.”
I hear bitterness in her voice and wonder who burned her? “Nobody else knows about us-- except Jasmine-- so I’d appreciate it if you would keep it quiet.”
“Of course.”
“This is all my fault. I practically begged him to sleep with me. And, I just found out he’s talking to other women online.”
“Really? Ryan doesn’t seem like the type to do online dating.”
“I saw the messages. I know we agreed to only one time, but he was my first, Taylor. I didn’t expect to keep thinking about him. To want more.”
“How did this even happen?”
“All I know is there’s a spark between us. From the moment we met. And, all I wanted was for him to be my first. To take care of me. I convinced him, but then started to fall for him. Hard.”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry.”
“When I went over there tonight, everything began happening again. And we almost-” my voice trails off and Taylor just nods. “But, then I heard his email keep dinging and some chick named Daphne was sending him all these messages.”
“What do you even know about her? Have they even met in person?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“I’m going to be honest. I have never seen Ryan with a woman. He’s extremely discreet, but at the same time, I think he’s just a really lonely man. I get the feeling he hasn’t dated anyone seriously since his divorce. He’s also a really stand-up guy. So, if he slept with you, I think that means something on his end.”
“You do?”
“If he didn’t feel anything, I think he’d stay away. Especially since, well, you’re so much younger. Knowing Ryan, I wouldn’t be surprised if he feels guilty about being with someone his daughter’s age.”
I want you to show me, Daddy.
I start to second-guess that Daddy comment. But, then I remember his response and I don’t think he minded. At all.
“I don’t know what to do,” I say and run a hand through my hair.
“Do you really care about him?”
I nod. “So much.”
“Then, I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. The man is hardly a serial dater and is always by himself. If he’s talking to someone online, it’s probably new.”
“Maybe.”
“I say if you want him then go get him. Foxy Flyboy could use a little happiness in his quiet life.”
I give Taylor a small smile. Maybe she’s right.
After Taylor leaves, I curl up in my chair by the window and sing. It’s the one thing that lets me go inside of myself and find peace. It allows me to shut everything else out and just be in the moment without any fear or uncertainty or unhappiness. It’s a respite from my problems and daily life. Above all, it allows me to block out the pain and transport myself to another place.
Music is my savior.
The next morning, I think about everything that happened with Ryan and then I remember Taylor’s advice. I don’t know if she's right or if he actually cares, but I’m going to set everything aside for now and focus on the reason I’m here. To be a singer.
I’m excited that I booked a gig at the Magnolia Club, but there are a thousand more places in this city that I should go visit, introduce myself and drop off a demo CD. The more exposure I can get and the more people I meet, the better.
With those thoughts in my head, I set out and pound the pavement. I probably visit 20 places and make a few potential connections. Some booking agents are really friendly and take my demo and others act like they don’t have time and direct me to their website with instructions on how to book a gig properly.
As daunting as it is and despite the overwhelming competition, I am not going to give up. Singing is the one thing that I am good at doing. It’s the talent I was blessed with and now I need to figure out a way to let people hear me.
I’ve posted videos online and decide that I should probably do a new one. I haven’t put one up in a few weeks and followers are fickle and lose interest fast if you don’t keep things new and fresh. I want to do something cool so I head over to Lake Hollywood Park. I follow my GPS, drive around the mountain bend and follow the residential road that climbs above the Hollywood Reservoir.
I did some research online when I was in Indiana and seeing the Hollywood sign is something that I wanted to do. It would be the perfect place to record myself for a new video. When I reach the park, I pull up and park at the curb. It’s not overly crowded which is nice and I hop out of my old truck.
There it is, I think, and look up at the iconic sign that has welcomed and spurned so many dreamers. The famous letters sit high up on the hillside and I walk a little closer, searching for the perfect spot.
Off to the side, beneath a tree, I pull up the video on my phone and hit record. I already know I’m going to sing two songs. One for fun and one that I’m actually feeling to the depths of my soul.
