Bonding Spirits (Bonding - The Ultimate Guide Book 4), page 8
“I love him already,” Kimi grins from beside King.
“Everybody is paranoid here, man,” Mike inserts quickly. “Just tough through it, and you’ll be fine.”
Byrne gives him a disbelieving glance as the Human pats his shoulder.
“What are they doing back there?” The words come out in a snarl despite myself. I want her back in here with us, not alone with a stranger doing who knows what.
“Relax, cuddlebear,” Kimi grins and rubs his hands together with relish. “I’ll just go check on things.”
04. Is There Somewhere
Ben somehow manages to open the bedroom door while maintaining his grip on me, kicking it shut with a slam. Then he carefully places me and the chair beside the nest and goes to the closet.
It isn’t until he begins throwing clothes out in a frenzy that I snap out of my confusion.
“Ben,” I whisper, shaking my head even though he can’t see me.
“No.”
“Please.”
“No!” It comes out as a demented scream and a cacophony of sounds that sends chills down my spine.
I stand up abruptly and march into the closet with him, closing the door so he can’t throw any more clothes into the middle of the floor.
It’s pitch dark and cooler here than by the nest, and I shiver a little. I know he can see in the dark, even if I can’t.
I wait for his breathing and frenzied movements to calm before speaking, but he isn’t settling down. He’s getting worse. I hear plastic hangers snapping and the crunching of his jaws biting down on something hard.
“Ben,” I try again, and he interrupts me with a high-toned whine that makes my head ache.
Gone are the familiar soothing sounds he usually gives me. In their place are sounds of violence and destruction. I take a deep breath and hold it as tears start to well in my eyes. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt my only friend.
Don’t lie to yourself, Beatrice. He’s more than a friend, and you know it. Just fess up!
“I can’t do this,” he snaps, and the crunching sound continues as my heart falls to the floor and bleeds. “I won’t do this. We are leaving.”
“Where?” I ask and try to clear my throat so my voice stops sounding like I’m about to cry. It’s dark in here. I can lie to myself all I want.
“Mom’s.” A ripping sound, like fabric, and more teeth gnashing.
“We can’t do that, sunshine.” Damn it, no! Stop crying this second, Beatrice!
“Yes, we can!” I feel his breath, hot on my face, as he screams it.
More tears fall, and I bite my lip to control the wobble there. I swallow hard and tilt my face so he can’t see me.
“I can’t do that,” I whisper back, and the sudden silence is deafening.
I don’t try to fill it with useless words. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’m trying really hard to keep my tears silent, but my breath keeps hitching.
“You’re choosing to suffer,” he snarls, and his voice has gone from dual to three or four voices, mixing together in clashing, discordant sounds. “For what? A bunch of faceless meat sacks who don’t know you? They wouldn’t give a shit about you, even if they did!”
It only hurts because it’s true.
“I don’t want to be like that.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you want!”
“Yes, you do,” I gasp out on a sob. “You’re the only one that does!”
“Then I don’t give a shit what anyone else wants,” his voice is suddenly soft and dangerous, the tones fading into nothing.
“I don’t care what you think they need from you. Fuck all of these people! I’ll go out there and eat them all right now! Problem fucking solved!”
I do the only thing I can think of to defuse this situation before it gets any worse. How it could get worse than eating his houseguests, I don’t know. I also don’t want to find out.
“Steak!”
Everything stops.
“Fuck you,” Ben whispers, but I hear the tightness in his voice, the regret as his breath hitches and his words sink in for him.
“Bread pudding,” I insist and reach for him blindly, finally finding his back and grabbing a fistful of his shirt in an iron grip.
“I hate bread pudding,” I feel his shoulders shake despite his steady words.
“Bananas.”
“Just, no.”
We both fall silent as my shoulders bow with grief. I don’t let go of his shirt in case he tries to leave. I can’t let him leave. If he does, I don’t know what I’ll do. I just know that I need him with me. Always.
This is a confusing feeling. It feels simultaneously like too much too soon and eons in the making. I’ve known him in this form for a week. A damn week. But I’ve known him for so much longer than that in his natural state. His attitude does not differ between this form and his normal one.
It doesn’t matter to my heart. The asshole wormed his way in somehow, and I can’t get him out. Or won’t.
I don’t have the guts to tell him what he means to me. It would open me up to a new world of pain I’ve avoided like the plague my entire life. But I can’t let him go either. If I don’t start really trying, I could lose him.
Instead of using my words, I shuffle forward until my chest meets his back, and I wrap my free arm around his waist, clutching him to me. My face lands just below his shoulder blades, and I burrow as if I can dig under his skin and live there.
After a minute that feels like hours, his hand covers mine, pressing it firmly into his stomach.
“I’m not sorry for losing it,” he grumbles in irritation, not quite ready to let it go.
I nod my head and chew my lower lip as I hiccup.
“But I am sorry for hurting you,” he snarls, and I feel his muscles flex as his head drops back and he stares at the ceiling.
“I’m sorry,” I manage to sob out and press against him harder. I don’t feel the need to point out what I’m apologizing for because I’m basically sorry for everything right now.
“Let me go,” he pats my hand.
“No,” I tighten my grip, digging my nails into his belly and fisting his shirt until my fingers ache.
“Bees,” his head lowers, and I feel him shake it.
“You’re mine. I’m not letting go.”
His body stiffens in my hold, and his breath stutters.
So much for not being able to say it, get a megaphone, and stand outside screaming it to the faeries, Beatrice. Fuck.
He’s going to run. I’m straight-up hysterical, stage fifty-seven clinger right now, and I can’t stop myself. Maybe Mitri can give me tips on being a creepy stalker. Or Kimi, he’s clinger status too. I’m blaming them for this shredding of my pride.
He breaks away from my restraining arm in a rush, ripping his shirt in the process because I still haven’t let it go.
I feel a pained whine leave my throat against my will and grit my teeth. Of course, he’s running. I’m a total freak right now.
“I am?” he asks with a breathless quality to his voice I can’t place. Damn, why couldn’t I have turned on the light in here? I need to see his face.
“I-if you w-want,” I try to amend the statement and verbally backtrack as fast as I can.
I feel a hand cup my cheek, thumb under my chin to force my face up. I’m sure it’s attractive since I’m crying with my nose running. I try to sniffle as if it would make it any better.
“Oh baby,” he whispers as he leans down, and his breath touches my lips. “I want.”
And then he kisses me.
His closed lips slam against mine in a hard press, but it isn’t enough for me. I pull back and nip at his piercing, catching it and pulling down lightly. His lips open as a growl passes, and I take advantage, licking along the inner seam and sliding past his teeth to stroke his tongue.
He freezes in place for a second, and then he’s with me, kissing me as if he’s been dying of thirst, and I’m the first glass of water he’s ever seen. His shoulders hunch as he bends forward, banding one arm between my shoulder blades to clutch my head and keep me right where I am. The move arches my back and presses my breasts to his chest, making them ache.
He jerks his head back and says in a rush, “This fight isn’t over.”
Then he goes back to kissing me. His other arm snaps around my lower back and presses me into him so I can feel his erection rubbing my lower belly.
Whatever fight he’s talking about, he wins. I concede if this is what I’ll get in return.
He tastes like warm, smoky molasses and cherries, a syrupy sweetness that makes me want another taste and another. I suddenly get why people would be edible to him because he is freaking delicious.
With one arm trapped underneath his, I reach out with my other hand and clutch his hair just as fiercely as he’s holding my head, tilting him a little so I can swirl my tongue around his, feeling the slight roughness there, and a moan slips out.
He tilts his head again and roughly breathes, “We were doing something.”
I nod and nuzzle into his throat, feeling the texture of his skin. He’s not soft like I thought he would be. His skin is much tougher than any flesh I’ve ever felt. I doubt he even feels my nails digging in at his scalp.
I drag my mouth up and down, flicking my tongue out to see what he tastes like here. I want to memorize everything about this moment and lock it up so no one else can have it. A kiss from this male feels ten times better than any sexual encounter I’ve ever had. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or depressing.
He makes a rough noise in his throat and tilts his head to give me better access, fingers flexing over my head to hold me in place. I bite down gently and suckle the skin there, and the sound repeats. I can feel it vibrate my lips, and I gasp in a breath, so sensitized that it feels like an electric shock heading straight for my-
The sound of a door slamming open makes us jerk apart in surprise.
“Hey guys! We have killing to plan! Wrap it up in here!”
The door slams again as Kimi departs with a dignified huff.
“I’m going to kill that cat,” Ben groans, and I feel his body warmth fade as he steps away.
I try to catch my breath as he opens the door and slips out, stopping at the mess on the floor to readjust himself in his pants.
His shoulders hunch as a growl rips out of him, “Yup. I’m getting a better ward for my room. That shit is not happening again.”
I close my eyes tight and feel my shoulders stiffen. If I look at him, I’m going to assault him. I could sweep his legs and jump on top of him. He’ll land in his nest. It’ll be fine.
“Baby, come on,” he grumbles, and I shake my head. He might be calm enough to talk, but I definitely am not.
“Hey, you ok?”
My eyes pop open in outrage, suddenly more than willing to let the words flow.
“I am not ok. I’m horny, and I’m trying to be nice about it. Get out of here before I rip your clothes off and molest you.”
His eyes widen in surprise as he whispers, “Really?”
“Get. Out.”
The grin that overtakes his face is obscenely smug as he nods. But his feet aren’t moving.
“Ben,” I warn and take two steps out of the closet. I’m about to tackle him like a linebacker. It has been way too long for me, and he’s pushing it.
He rushes out the door with a laugh, leaving the door open in his haste.
I take a few minutes to regulate my breathing and piece myself together. He thinks I’m joking around, but I am dead serious. For once, he is the prey, and he has no clue.
I need to have a serious discussion with him before we go any further. That means I have to keep it together the next time he’s all sexy and perfect instead of throwing caution to the wind and jumping in feet first.
But there are a million problems to solve before I can do that.
I hate reality right now.
At least Ben will be in a good mood for a while.
Knowing my grace period is over, I return to the dining room table only to stop in surprise.
Ben is standing face to face with Mike, only a foot separating them. I’ve never seen them so close together before. The size difference is just as funny as when Mike stands next to Mal. Ben isn’t as built as Mal but is very tall. His head is tilted as Mike continues whatever diatribe he started before I came in.
“…so you don’t want to go back there. And maybe just stay away from her? I can’t tell you how terrifying he is. Seriously, I cannot emphasize it enough, man.”
Ben’s head tilts the other way as he studies Mike.
“I’m Mike, by the way.” He offers his hand out for Ben to shake, and Ben stares at the appendage in confusion.
“What is going on now?” I groan as I step closer. Now that I can see the entire room, I notice that everyone is staring at Ben.
Mike turns his head towards me in surprise, mouth open to hopefully give me an explanation of what’s going on. Ben takes his hand firmly and leans down to grin in his face with excitement.
“Nice to meet you, Mike, I’m Ben.”
“Whoa, how many panties drop when you speak, man? I’m a guy, and I got chills… wait…what?”
I can understand when Mike’s face drains of all its color. Ben is right in his face because he has absolutely no sense of personal space. But Mike doesn’t see Ben’s ecstatic smile for what it is because it displays an obscene amount of teeth and most of his gums.
“I – what – no,” Mike backs away with wide eyes, leaving his hand clasped in Ben’s as if he can detach it and run for his life.
“He can see me, Bees,” Ben says in an aside.
“Yes, Ben, he has eyes,” I slap a palm to my face. I’m so done with this day.
“No, baby. He sees what you see now. The real me.”
I frown, and my hand slides down to rest on my chest in concern. “Which you?”
“The Humanoid form.”
“Oh, sweet presidents, you had me worried. Hold up, this is new?”
Everyone but Ben turns at the same time to stare at me. I have to admit it’s more than a little creepy and anxiety-inducing to suddenly have this much attention.
Ben starts laughing, still holding onto Mike’s hand as he tries to shuffle away.
I look back at the sea of male faces, taking in their surprise, some anger, and blank face. Kimi has his hands clasped under his chin with doe eyes blinking at Ben.
“Are you kidding me?” I ask in exasperation. “I was the only one that could see you? And you knew it?””
Ben nods his head vigorously and finally lets Mike go. “This is like a dream come true!”
His excited face turns my way, and all my anger is wiped out. He’s so happy about it. How can I be upset?
Ben practically dances on his way to the kitchen, humming to himself. He doesn’t even complain about the kitchen as the timer on the oven chimes, and he drags out a platter of meat that makes my arms feel tired from just watching him lift it.
“How did you do it, snack sack? Can you hear me now, too?” Ben asks Mike on his way back to the table. He says the slur as if it’s an endearment instead of a vague threat.
They couldn’t hear him? Did everybody think I was talking to myself this whole time?
“Um, M-Mitri gave us these,” he holds out his trembling wrist to show off a bracelet.
Ben snatches his arm and smells across the bracelet, then extends his tongue to wrap around it.
“Ben, no,” I snap with a glare.
“Artificer. His work has a pleasant flavor,” Ben nods to himself and releases Mike’s arm to return to his food. “Good potency.”
My shoulders sag in relief. He hasn’t eaten Mike and he’s not tearing his arm off to keep the bracelet. I’ll take it.
On the one hand, I’m happy for Ben. It pisses me off that I never knew I could see him as he actually is, just like Scilla. And that I was the only one that could hear him. It explains many of the varied reactions I got when I introduced him. I’m also enraged that Ben has lived in a vacuum where no one even gave his sunshine optimism a chance due to his horrifying nature.
However.
My eyes meet Mitri’s from across the room, and I raise my brow with a slight smirk.
If he thinks he’s taken Ben’s power down far enough that he can take him in a fight, he’s badly mistaken.
He got one for everybody because they’re all watching Ben eat in various stages of disgust at his lack of chewing. Even with those odds, I would firmly put my money on Ben.
Mitri straightens his shoulders and arches a brow back as his eyes narrow on me.
I raise both of my brows and grin like a smug bitch. I know something you don’t know, immortal.
He blinks slowly, and his brow lowers before giving me the most hair-raising, vicious, serial killer grin I’ve ever seen. I’m betting it’s because his eyes are empty voids when he does it. If I’m right, he just stepped up to the plate on my silent challenge.
I shake my head slowly and flip him off, my grin stretching wider. I’ve got your number, buddy. I know what you’re up to, bond or not. This won’t stop Ben.
“Hey! Don’t be mean to Mitri! He’s just looking out for us,” Mike yells at me, finally taking his eyes away from Ben to see my psycho showdown.
Mitri’s face blanks quickly, leaving me to look like the bad guy, but that’s ok, I can deal.
“Of course, he is, Mikey,” my voice shakes with laughter, and I have to clear my throat to increase my acting skills. Insanity took that talent away from me. All that hard work to pretend to be a normal person washed away in the plains of Leng.
Ben glances up from his plate. Meeting his eyes, it’s like we have our own silent conversation. You know, minus the smugness and the feeling of challenge.
I know that he understands what Mitri is up to, and his response is a smile stretched impossibly wide over sharp teeth as he looks at me. I nod once and press a hand to my lips to stifle my laughter as I sit across from him.
“What are you doing?” Mike snaps.
Trying not to choke on laughter, Mike.
