Book One, page 12
The family moved quickly through the gates after Khael, and an excited Khaeri took in everything around her as they travelled down the main street leading into the centre of town. Very rarely had she ventured further than the villages that lay on the outskirts of Malkhyrin. Once, she’d accompanied her mae’ to a beautiful city in the largest kingdom in the east when she’d turned ten, but she had never seen the big towns across Theras where ordinary folk lived because there had never been a reason for her mae’im to visit them, and certainly not with her young daughter.
All the different kinds of people walking up and down the walkways on either side of the street, wearing clothes of unusual styles and colours from regions completely foreign to her, were fascinating to see. She heard music down every side street and loud conversation and laughter coming out of many homes and shops they passed by, and children chased each other between the people, screaming and laughing with wild abandon. She had been like them once, she thought sadly. The palace and her beloved city had always been filled with the laughter of children and their happy, carefree parents, but not anymore. Now Malkhyrin was dead and so were her children, and she wiped her tears away before anyone saw.
Arriving at an attractive, two-story inn that looked well maintained and clean, Khael turned down a side path that led around the back of the building into the stable yard where four stable boys ran to assist them. After unloading their belongings, Jae’el gave instructions on the care of their horses and the others walked through a side door into a reception hall where their hostess was waiting to greet them.
“Ja’shesh and welcome to Ammaleia’s Swann, weary travellers. I am Cara-San, your hostess. How may I help you this evening?”
She curtsied deeply and Khaeri smiled in amusement when Braahn’s mouth dropped open. Although Cara-san’s glossy, pitch-black hair, rosy cheeks and lips, and dancing green eyes would capture any man’s attention, it was her rather generous bosom pushed up by the tight bodice she wore over a scooped neck, white blouse that had both her brothers and Jae’el grinning in admiration. Aa’rel muttered disapprovingly under her breath and Khaeri noticed something rather curious: her cousin was glaring at Braahn in particular.
Khael smiled warmly and bowed. “My family and I require three rooms for the night. I hope you can accommodate us.”
“You are in luck, m’tas,” she said with the kind of smile that got men’s pulses racing. “A large party left just this morning.”
Alluring eyes openly appraised Khael head to foot and Khaeri snorted, making everyone look at her in surprise. It was the first sound she’d made since the change. She rolled her eyes and turned away to study the rich tapestry hanging on the wall behind her, missing Aa’rel’s happy smile.
They were shown to their rooms on the second floor, and when Khaeri saw her big bed, she immediately fell onto it face down with her arms and legs spread wide. The mattress and covers moulded around her and she sighed with pleasure. After weeks of sleeping on hard ground between coarse blankets, this was pure Heaven!
Aa’rel grinned and followed suit. “I’m going to sleep so very, very well tonight,” she said dreamily.
Before Khaeri knew it she had fallen asleep, and what felt like only seconds later she was shaken awake by Aa’rel.
“Come, let’s go eat.”
Khaeri shook her head and indicated that she wanted to eat in the room.
“Are you sure?” Her cousin nodded. “Alright then. I’ll send someone up with a tray of food. Lock the door behind me and remove the key. I’ll get the spare from the reception desk, so don’t wait up for me if you want to sleep.”
Khaeri had just begun drifting off again when there was a knock at the door and a girl’s voice announcing she had her food. She got up groggily and opened the door a crack to see a serving girl peeping back at her and no one else around, so she received the tray with a grateful smile. Setting it down on her bed, Khaeri sat crossed-legged beside it and proceeded to demolish everything with relish. The roasted meat, roast potatoes, and steaming vegetables smothered in gravy were rich and delicious, as was the generous slice of zesty lemon cake with frosting for dessert. Watered-down ale washed everything down and she released a loud burp of satisfaction and patted her full belly. As her energy levels rose from utter exhaustion to plain old tired, her mood improved, too. It was the first time since Malkhyrin that she had felt anything else besides deep melancholy and simmering anger.
After leaving the tray outside her door, locking it again, and removing the key for Aa’rel to insert the spare, she went to the table opposite her bed where there was a ceramic washbasin and a full metal pitcher beside it. She quickly stripped and washed her entire body, and when she saw her reflection in the full-length mirror on the closet door, she stopped to study herself. Her appearance had changed quite a bit since she’d last seen it. Her muscles seemed firmer under pale, smooth skin that had once been browned by the sun and glowing with health, and she could have sworn she was a little taller. Khaeri had always been a slim, active child and adolescent with lots of energy, unlike the fat, lazy court girls that sat around all day eating, gossiping, and embroidering with their equally fat mae’im’i when they came to visit from neighbouring kingdoms. Their vacant gazes and whiny voices had annoyed her to no end and she had made sure to spend as little time with them as possible, leaving it to her poor mae’ to explain her absence.
Her face had also changed, she noticed, stepping closer to the mirror. Her skin was practically flawless, and after she looked long and hard at her golden tresses and gold-flecked eyes, she decided she hated what she’d become. It made her too obvious, too extraordinary, and that was dangerous these days. It also reminded her that she was a slave to a thing she despised. Why the Sword had chosen her and had not transferred into Khael when it had the chance she didn’t know. If it truly was sentient then surely it was aware of how much she hated it? The welts were gone without a trace, but the sun-shaped scar in her palm would be there forever, reminding her every day what had been forced on her. She decided she needed to find a way to change her appearance to protect herself and her family from scrutiny. Maybe their visit into town tomorrow would yield some ideas.
Khaeri changed into fresh underclothes and relieved herself before climbing between the clean, crisp sheets. Then she remembered the light. An electric light hung from the centre of the ceiling in the shape of a wasp nest, casting a warm, yellow glow around the room. She found it fascinating since the palace used candles, torches, sconces, and gas lamps—the latter fuelled by the natural gas-flows beneath the mountain, which was another quaint characteristic of the ancient structure. Padding over to the wall to flip the switch, the room was plunged into darkness and she dived back into bed and pulled the covers over her head. Aa’rel would be coming back soon, but there was no way she could stay awake until then. Within seconds she was asleep.
THE NEXT MORNING DAWNED with bright sunshine streaming into the room through a gap in the curtains and noisy street vendors drawing attention to their wares outside. Khaeri had to fight to open eyes that were full of grit, and splashed her face with ice-cold water to wake up. The cousins put on clean pants and blouses, cinched in their waists with wide leather belts, and pulled on soft boots with their knives tucked inside within easy reach. Leaving the room carrying their coats, they took their dirty laundry downstairs and requested that it be washed, and Cara-San assured them that their clean clothes would be back in their room before they returned from enjoying the town. The men were already in the dining hall in a large booth and the girls joined them for morning meals. Braahn and Aa’rel flanked Khaeri with Jae’el and Khael sitting opposite them. Khaeri still refused to look at her big brother or engage with anyone, but Khael refused to allow it to spoil his day. Otherwise, the mood at the table was light as they enjoyed a lavish meal and sorted out their tasks for the day. Khael gave each of them a small bag of gold coin and told them to spend only as much as they needed and to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Jae’el and Khael were going to purchase thicker winter clothing for themselves first then start their search for a good source of information that could tell them the best route to follow when they left town to avoid danger. They might need to try a few taverns before they found someone reliable, Jae’el told them, but hopefully it wouldn’t take too long. Braahn, Aa’rel, and Khaeri would be buying winter clothing for themselves, all the food for at least two weeks to be delivered to the tavern, and anything extra they felt might be needed for their journey. Winter was fast approaching, and by the looks of things, they’d be on the road when the first snows fell. By the time the family left the tavern, they were eager to carry out their individual tasks so that they could leave Par’thanas early the next day.
Khaeri surprised Braahn by slipping her arm through his as they made their way down the busy main street. It was the first time he’d seen her so animated since before the transfer and he felt happy and relieved. She was nowhere near her old self yet, and he wasn’t naïve to believe that she’d ever be the person she used to be, but it was a start. Whatever she needed he’d make sure he gave it to her.
Aa’rel walked next to Khaeri and told her that they met a soldier in the tavern after evening meals who knew of a Therasin army in the valley of Kiasta that was situated in one of the southern desert kingdoms. Apparently, the general in charge was looking for able-bodied men and women and strong leaders to help fill out the army in preparation for the coming war against the invaders. Similar armies had gathered in the north, east, and west of the continent under strong leadership, and it was said that they were the safest places to be if you wanted to fight. When you arrived, no questions were asked about your past or your identity, except to prove that you were Therasin. Speaking Old Tongue fluently was usually accepted as proof enough. Aa’rel and the men had discussed it at length and decided that heading to Kiasta—as far away from Malkhyrin as they could get—was their best choice; they’d be completely anonymous and surrounded by loyal fighters to protect Khaeri and her family.
Khaeri was aware of her brother and cousin watching her reaction to the news. In truth, she didn’t really have anything to say because her opinion didn’t matter now that her family had made up their minds. If going south was going to keep them safe then so be it. To distract them, she led them to a stall selling pieces of fresh fruit on a stick that was drizzled with honey, and the delicious sweet treat was demolished with relish.
The morning went quickly and their supplies steadily increased. (They were aware that they couldn’t buy too much otherwise poor Daffi and Palo would collapse under the weight.) Coming around a bend in a street on the edge of town just after midday, they saw an outdoor eatery looking most welcoming in the warm autumn sun and Khaeri grabbed Braahn’s hand and pointed to a vacant table. He got the message and the three of them went to sit down. After a young serving girl had taken their order and left, Braahn reached across the table to take Khaeri’s hands.
“K, we need to talk.” She immediately lost her smile and he felt Aa’rel’s hand on his arm for support. “You haven’t spoken to us since leaving Malkhyrin. Please can you say something? Anything.” She pulled her hands out of his and dropped her chin to her chest. “We’re worried about you and we don’t know how to make things better because you’re not speaking to us. We know how much hurt you’ve gone through, but we miss you, K. You’re so distant . . .”
Tears welled up in Khaeri’s eyes. Why was he trying to force her when she wasn’t ready? She slowly stood up and lifted her angry gaze to look at him.
Braahn noticed that his sister was starting to draw attention; the place was full of customers and her exquisite golden hair shone brilliantly in the sun. It didn’t even cross his mind to tell her to wear a scarf this morning. He also stood and held out a hand to her. “S’arir, please sit and tell us what you need.”
Despite there being no clouds in the sky, the sun seemed to dim a little for Khaeri. Her family had no idea what she’d been through and was still going through, and she seriously doubted they would understand even if she told them. They seemed to have found it so easy to move on, but she just couldn’t. More than her life had changed; her very being had been altered, and they could most certainly never understand that.
Khaeri turned and fled down a side street and Braahn called after her, and Aa’rel grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. “Let her go, k’resi. People are staring.”
“Isolating herself is part of the problem, Aa’rel!” he said heatedly, and immediately regretted raising his voice. She didn’t deserve it, and he kissed her hand in apology.
Aa’rel put an arm around his shoulders. “Although I don’t necessarily agree with how she’s processing her grief, trying to force her to speak and comply with our desires will only make things worse. It’s easy for us to be rational, Braahn, but she can’t be rational right now. We think we know what’s best for her, and we may be right, but we may also be wrong. Dealing with trauma is different for everyone. Even though we believe her isolation is doing harm, we must trust her to come back to us when she’s ready. And we must trust Kurrn to protect her, too. For now though I think we need to let her be and give her room to heal at her own pace, yei’?” Aa’rel sounded so calm and wise in her own ears, but her heart was racing because she had an intensely deep fear for her cousin. Maybe she needed to be pushed to break her silence, but Kurrn alone had a view inside her heart, so Aa’rel sent up a prayer asking Him to help His Sword Bearer heal.
Tears blinded Khaeri as she ran down side streets and alleys, trying desperately to get away from the pain and fear in her heart. She occasionally bumped into people and nearly got trampled by a horse when it reared up after she’d startled it. The day had started off so well and for a while her sadness had withdrawn. Damn Braahn! As she turned another corner, she slammed full force into a young woman carrying an armful of parcels.
“Hai! Watch where you’re going!”
Khaeri landed hard on her rump and gasped for breath after it was knocked out of her. But recovering quickly, she jumped up and held up her hands in what she hoped would be interpreted as an apology when she saw the woman rubbing her hip and wincing. Khaeri started picking up her parcels, and once she had as many as she could carry, she looked at the woman with a sheepish expression and waited to be told what to do.
The slim woman with hair the colour of cinnamon and big brown eyes set in a round, youthful face, glared at the person who had so rudely run into her, but her indignation quickly changed to curiosity and awe when she saw an exquisite, tear-streaked face covered in dirt that was framed by hair the colour of golden summer wheat. “You’re a pretty one under all that grime,” she said, “and you have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen plenty.”
The woman walked around Khaeri in a full circle, making her feel very self-conscious. Not many people could do that to her, but at present she was an emotional mess with no defences left except to glare at her surveyor in mild defiance.
“My, my, those eyes!”
There was true admiration in her voice, so Khaeri relaxed a little. She seemed friendly enough.
“My name is Alara. What’s yours?” The girl shook her head and Alara frowned. “Do you speak?” When she shook her head again, Alara’s eyebrows rose in surprise and growing curiosity.
The girl was clearly upset, but it didn’t make any difference to her appearance. Alara knew all about beauty and how to enhance it. As an aesthetician, she knew the difference between natural and fake beauty, and the slim girl standing before her was exquisite all the way down to her soul. Those luminous, sad eyes said so quite clearly. Alara picked up the remaining parcels, and with a small jerk of her head told the girl to follow her.
They soon reached a pretty cottage made out of sturdy grey stones, white window frames, and a thatched roof, and a small but well-maintained and colourful flower garden sat out front behind a white picket fence. Attached to a pole near a waist-high gate that opened onto a cobbled path, Khaeri saw a sign written in both Basic and Old Tongue: ‘Aesthetician: Meeting All Your Beauty Needs’. She followed the woman inside and they both dumped the parcels on a table in the middle of the room. Looking around curiously, Khaeri saw a row of six chairs in front of six rectangular mirrors against a wall to her right, and there was a strong smell of chemicals in the air that made her nose wrinkle. Seeing her reflection in the mirrors, she gaped at the dirty face looking back at her and hurriedly wiped it clean with the sleeve of her coat.
Alara opened a drawer in her writing desk and handed the girl a piece of parchment, a quill, and an inkpot. “Please write your name for me.” She complied then handed the parchment back to Alara. “Khaeri. That’s an unusual name. Where are you from?” She pointed east. “Have you travelled far?” Khaeri put on a tired face and nodded. “Well, let’s have some strong caf then, shall we? I have my next client in a couple of hours so we have time to get to know each other.” After picking up a small box from the pile of parcels, she asked Khaeri to bring the writing materials in case they needed it.
Khaeri was led into a quaint kitchen filled with all the cosy comforts of a cottage that had been lived in for a long time, and she had a deep sense of it being a happy place. Alara pulled out a chair for her before filling a kettle for their caf and putting it on a small wood-burning stove that she fed with more wood. It was nice and warm inside and Khaeri’s mood lightened considerably. She removed her coat and hung it over the chair before sitting down.
Alara tore off the paper around the box then split the seal, popped open the lid, and scooped out two heaped spoonfuls of rich, dark granules into the kettle. “Are you visiting Par’thanas alone?” Khaeri shook her head. “Your family is here with you, then? Mae’, fah’, and siblings?”
