Secret of a Thousand Beauties, page 19
To my surprise, instead of feeling sad or making a fuss, she clapped. “Good, I love Soochow! And I’d like to work at that store; it’s so clean and beautiful!”
So Little Doll and I began to live and work at Old Li’s store. To my surprise, it was our luck that he actually treated us better than Aunty Peony. Every morning, we woke up at six to clean the store—sweeping the floor, then rubbing it with rags, dusting the glass cases, making sure all the products were neatly arranged—and then we would boil water to pour into the big thermos. With the hot water ready for tea, we’d eat a simple breakfast, then pull up the big shutter that covered the shop window and door.
Before long Old Li and his daughter, Ping, would arrive and check to make sure everything was ready. Li would go into his office, a tiny room in the back, and shut the door. We would hear the drawer open where he kept his account book locked up; then his abacus would click for a few minutes. When he had done his sums and the account book was safely back in its locked drawer, Old Li would come out and eat the breakfast we had bought for him and his daughter. Then all was ready for the new day’s business. Since there were few customers at the beginning of the day, we would often be sent off on errands such as mailing letters or buying supplies.
During the work day, Ping was supposed to help the customers, but she almost never knew how to answer the questions, so she was always summoning her father from the back. Pretty quickly I learned the stock and so ended up being the one serving the customers. In the afternoon, Ping or Mr. Li would often slip off to nap, but of course Little Doll and I had to remain in the shop waiting on customers.
When evening came and the shutter came back down, Ping would usually dash off somewhere, while Mr. Li would sit quietly, puffing on the water pipe I would prepare for him. Sometimes Little Doll would massage him after dinner.
The way we worked and lived was called qianpu houju, “front store work, back store sleep.” Most out-of-town workers, unable to afford housing in the city, worked and lived this way. Shop owners were equally happy about the arrangement, for they’d hire one person to do the work of two—daytime salesman and nighttime guard. In addition to lodging, shop owners would also provide their workers three meals a day. Some days, if business had been particularly good, the happy owner would reward his workers with a special dish at dinnertime, like roast duck or crispy fried fish.
For the moment, this live-in arrangement was best for me and Little Doll. Not only did we make a little money, we did not have much expense. However, we didn’t have much freedom either. Little Doll and I were allowed only one day off each month. We could do whatever we wanted, but of course had no time to go very far.
I could tell that Little Doll was not very happy. But she also knew that Aunty and her two other sisters had gone and probably would never come back, and I was her only sister left. She would be very nervous if I ever went anywhere without her. When I could, I bought her candies and toys, and did all the hard tasks like scrubbing the floor and the bucket we used for a toilet. To be ready for our unknown future, I spent only what we were paid by Golden Thread, which was not much, so that the money that Aunty and Shen Feng had given us remained untouched.
Though life was not altogether unpleasant, I hadn’t forgotten that this was not the life I wanted. I didn’t mind the hard work, like putting up and taking down the heavy shutter or crawling on my hands and knees to polish the floor. I put up with it because I was determined I would not live like this for the rest of my life.
I was an embroiderer, an excellent one, whose work had won first prize in an international art fair. Even though Aunty had stolen the credit, it was still my skill that had produced the work. But if we left Golden Thread, where would we go? It was unlikely my husband would find me here and anyway, I could not go with him to fight his revolution.
Often I would think of Aunty Peony and how she was able to look after us four girls, teach us embroidery, and run the house and our business smoothly. From time to time I thought of trying to find her, Purple, and Shen Feng, so we could all have a happy reunion. But where to find them? Underneath it all, I knew this was an impossible dream.
I had no choice but to stay here for a few more months, maybe even years, to save a little more money and hope for a better opportunity. However, as the Chinese say, “Life has a thousand twists and a hundred turnings.” And so fate was about to steer us onto a different path.
I found out I was pregnant—from the forbidden pleasure with Shen Feng in the mountain cave.
I couldn’t decide if this was good news or bad. But I did know that if I stayed here, my belly would keep growing bigger and bigger. Not only would I be kicked out of Golden Thread, I would be shamed, avoided, and jobless. For the moment I decided not to tell Little Doll. If I did, she’d ask who the father was. But no matter what would happen in the future, I couldn’t suppress my happiness that I was carrying Shen Feng’s baby.
But then fate was about to twist again. One day during breakfast, as I glanced through a newspaper dreaming of the handsome son who would soon be born, my eyes landed on this headline:
THE FATE OF A REVOLUTIONARY
A group of revolutionaries were executed in Peking for trying to bomb the legislative building. The six men, believed to be members of the communist party, were caught and hanged.
The rebels were Chen Anguo, Huang Ruoshui, Liu Dewei, Fan Xinru, Ma Donghe, Shen Feng. . . .
Seeing the name Shen Feng, I dropped both the paper and my bowl of soy bean soup to the ground, and with them shattered my dreams and hopes.... I felt so devoid of hope that I could not do anything but sit and feel miserable. I told Old Li that I was sick and had to take off from work. To my surprise, he wasn’t angry and even asked Ping—with Little Doll’s help—to cook me nutritious herb soup to speed my recovery. So for the next few days I just slept myself to oblivion.
I said nothing to Little Doll about the real reason for my “sickness.” Every night I would wait until she fell asleep, then burn incense and say a prayer for Shen Feng. I hoped my prayer would send him off smoothly on his next journey, so that he’d finally live a happy life in the Western Paradise or be reincarnated into a rich household.
I knew that I had to seem to recover so that Old Li and Ping would not suspect that I was just avoiding work, so as soon as I could, I buried my unbearable grief inside my heart and tried my best to act and work normally. In the middle of the night, I’d take out Shen Feng’s flute to caress, then try to play it, but I could only produce a few broken notes.
When I was at my wits’ end about my expanding belly, life twisted yet again—Old Li asked me to see him in his office.
After we sat down, without much ado, he asked, “Spring Swallow, do you like working here so far?”
I nodded. “Yes, Mr. Li, very much. Thank you so much for taking in Little Doll and me.”
He waved a dismissive hand. “I’ve been observing you for a whole month and long enough for me to trust you. You have an alert mind, quick hands, and kind heart, especially judging from how you help your sister by taking on all the hard work. Even my daughter, Ping, who is very hard to please, speaks well of you.”
Of course Ping liked me—because of me she could goof off and take all the breaks she wanted. However, I did not want to live my life as a maid, but to become a famous embroiderer. I dreamed of my work being so admired I’d be invited all over the world to have it displayed. Of course, I knew reality always paints a very different picture. So now it seemed I’d stay a maid—until I was kicked out because of my big belly.
Old Li spoke again, interrupting my thoughts. “So I’d like you two to continue working here, permanently.”
“But—”
Li cut me off. “All right, Spring Swallow, let me be direct. My only son, Li Wenyi, will come back from Peking soon and I want him to learn my business so he can run it after I am too old. You learn fast and already know how this place runs. I want to offer you the chance to marry my son so someday you two can run the business together.”
I was stunned by this unexpected offer. I’d already married a ghost, then Shen Feng. . . . Now was I to be married for the third time? At nineteen? It was ridiculous—probably not even legal!
I blurted out, “Mr. Li . . . marry your son?”
He smiled, patting my shoulder. “Calm down, Spring Swallow, I know this is an unexpected, even shocking, request. But think about it. First, sooner or later you have to get married. It’s much better if you marry my son and continue to work and live here than marry into a family you don’t know anything about. Because the in-laws of those wealthy families out there would surely ill-treat you and your sister.”
“But why would they do that?”
“Because your family is too far away to protect you—if you really have one. Also”—he watched me intently with his small, flickering eyes—“if you become my daughter-in-law, sooner or later you’ll be the boss’s wife and this store will be partly yours when I retire. And then as my daughter-in-law, you and your sister will no longer have to sleep on bunk beds, but will live with us in our nice house with maids and a cook. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
I remained silent, weighing his offer in light of my present situation.
He went on enthusiastically. “Besides, my son is a very nice-looking young man who’s just about to graduate from Peking University. You can’t possibly find someone better than him.”
This was much more complicated than he realized.
“All right, I know this is a surprise. Take some time to think it over. Right now Wenyi is busy with his studies. Although I’m old, I’m also a modern, open-minded man. So if you agree, we won’t need to waste money on a matchmaker, or a fortune-teller to compare your birthday to my son’s, or even receive a dowry from your family.”
Wah. He made it sound like this marriage was a bargain for me, just like when he told his customers they were getting a big discount on his overpriced goods. But if his son was such a great catch, why would he choose me to be his future daughter-in-law?
I asked him why he would choose me, a simple village girl.
He replied, “All the young girls in the city are so spoiled that they care only about enjoying themselves and living a pampered life. I haven’t met any as hardworking, smart, and honest as you. So”—he split a cunning smile—“I am sure I’ve made a good choice for my son!”
He took a photo out from his pocket and handed it to me. “Here’s Wenyi. Think about my offer and I hope you’ll say yes.”
After that, he abruptly stood up and went back to the store.
I looked at the picture and saw a stranger staring back at me. A young man, not bad looking. So, I should feel lucky to get this “bargain.” But instead of feeling happy, I was sad. It was Shen Feng whom I loved, even dead.
That evening, after much thought, I accepted that Old Li’s offer was my only option. Otherwise, once Aunty Peony’s and Shen Feng’s money was spent, I’d be shunned and destitute. Married to Li Wenyi, I’d be a respectable matron, helping to run a family business and, most important, my baby would have a father. So I decided to marry Li’s son—for my baby’s sake, so he’d be born with a father and a family. Maybe for once my fate was twisting in the right direction. But now that my mind was made up, I burst out sobbing.
The next day when I told Old Li about my decision, he looked delighted.
“Hahaha, this is my happiest day! All right, Ping and I will prepare for the wedding. We’ll have it as soon as possible. No point to waste time. To celebrate I will give you and Little Doll the next two days off.”
It bothered me a little that he acted so happy. And this was pretty quick. What about Wenyi—had he been consulted? What if he hated me at first sight?
Soon Old Li announced the engagement at the family’s ancestral hall, making it official. I wasn’t included in this ceremony, which was just as well because I had had enough of ghosts at weddings.
As the wedding day approached I felt more and more anxious because my future third husband was still nowhere to be seen. Mr. Li said that something unexpected had turned up, and Li Wenyi was forced to postpone his return from Peking. But he was vague about what that business was, only assuring me that the son would definitely arrive in time for the wedding. This seemed to be my fate with men, either being dead or not showing up, or both. But Wenyi was not a revolutionary, so I wondered what was more important than his wedding.
That night, my ghost first husband came to me in a dream to scold me. I couldn’t see his expression, because his face was blurred by smoke and dust.
But he pointed a long-nailed finger at me. “You unfaithful wife! Just one man after another. Shameless woman of depravity!”
After that, he disappeared into smoke and dust, leaving a trail of ghostly curses.
I woke up, sweating heavily. I was getting a bad feeling about Li Wenyi. Could I pull out now? I didn’t think so, unless I ran away—again. Old Li and Ping had already booked the wedding banquet, sent out invitations, and gotten everything ready—clothes, wine, dried seafood, red wedding cakes, lucky money, firecrackers, celebratory banners....
Two weeks later, a red curtained huaqiao, a “flower palanquin,” carried by several muscular men arrived at the store to take me to the wedding hall. Servants marching on both sides of the palanquin held up red signboards with the character “Happiness.” The clashing of gongs and cymbals deafened ears and animated the already busy street.
Two middle-aged women who had been hired to supervise the rituals helped me into the enclosed red palanquin. Little Doll and the others were to take another one following mine. To my surprise, the man I had been waiting so anxiously to meet, my about-to-be husband Li Wenyi, was already inside. He smiled happily and I smiled back, lowering my head. I couldn’t help but feel delighted that he was as handsome as he was in his picture.
“Spring Swallow”—he took my hand—“sorry for my late arrival. I’ve been eager to meet you. You are even prettier than I expected. I am a very happy and lucky man.”
I didn’t know how to respond to this, so I just kept smiling and letting him hold my hand. Soon the palanquin was lifted and we were on our way. A large group of people followed us, children laughing and screaming, while the adults shouted good-luck sayings.
“Your good karma from previous lives. Happy union this life!”
“One-hundred-year blissful union!”
“Happy marriage, hearts forever linked together!”
When we finally arrived at the wedding hall, a few maids appeared to steer me inside, with Wenyi following behind. Then we were led to kneel in front of the family altar, watched silently by the Li family’s ancestral portraits. Old Li, his daughter, Ping, all the relatives, staff, and servants smiled happily, except Little Doll—to my surprise. I gave her a stern look to remind her to behave properly and act happy.
After Li Wenyi and I kowtowed and made offerings to all the ancestors, and to Old Li and Ping, a maid and a servant helped us to stand back up.
Suddenly I understood everything: Little Doll’s strange expression; Old Li’s urgent arrangement of the marriage; lack of a matchmaker and dowry; Wenyi’s non-appearance until this moment.
For my new husband’s left leg was severely damaged, bending at a very awkward angle. He could hardly walk. I sighed inside. Though I was very young, life was continuing to teach me that nothing is what it seems....
That evening, during the banquet, I drank one cup of celebratory wine after another. Everything was a blur until Wenyi and I entered the bedroom, when I immediately passed out.
The next morning I awakened with a terrible headache and no memory of what had passed during our dragon and phoenix night. I even hoped it was all a bad dream, but as I looked around the room, tall red candles, sweet buns dyed red, and piles of red-wrapped gifts were everywhere, leaving no doubt that a wedding had just occurred. And to remove any possible uncertainty, my new husband was snoring beside me.
When he finally woke up, it turned out that Wenyi and I had little to say to each other. After a few minutes of desultory conversation he left me alone and went off somewhere.
When the maid came to fix the marital bed, I saw lotus seeds underneath our pillows.
I asked her about this and she said, “Young mistress, you don’t know? That’s for you to have babies!”
The word for lotus seed, lianzi, also meant “continuous births of sons.” The Li family put them underneath our pillows so I’d bear the family many sons, not knowing that now I did not need lotus seeds to be pregnant.
I’d thought that in my current condition almost any husband would be better than none. But I was wrong. It wasn’t that Wenyi was a cripple, for I didn’t think I was much better considering that I’d been a wild child, a ghost wife, a runaway bride, and was now married despite a vow of celibacy. The cause of our troubles together was simple: He was a bad husband and a bad person.
Not long after the wedding, I heard two maids gossiping and found out what was behind Old Li’s haste in marrying off his son. Wenyi was a compulsive gambler. His main subjects of study in Peking were whores and roulette. When he had frittered away all of his father’s allowance each month, he would borrow more from loan sharks and promptly lose it all in the casino. He promised to pay it all back when his lucky day came, but it never did. The loan shark’s men finally came after him and beat him severely, smashing his kneecap with an iron club.
Old Li hoped that if he brought his son home where he could keep an eye on him and married him off, perhaps he would reform. But word of his dissolute lifestyle had reached Soochow, and none of the local families would consider him for their daughters. So though I may not have fitted their social aspirations, I was handy.
That Wenyi had little to say to me did not mean I was excused from my nightly duties. Whenever he demanded the “pleasure of the fish in the water,” I blew out the candle and did my best to shut down my mind. I kept telling myself I had to be patient until my baby was born. Then I would figure out something.
