The Rancher’s Marriage Bargain, page 5
“Well, that doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun," Jolie mumbled, pointedly not meeting his eyes as her blush deepened another few shades.
Colson took another swig of his beer, and this time there was an almost angry edge to his movement. The way she was talking was making him sound like some kind of a stick in the mud who’d never done a fun thing in his life. It was the way people always talked about people like him, the ones who had an inborn sense of responsibility and were perpetually prepared. They liked to poke fun, like being orderly and efficient was some kind of cute defect to be put up with. That was until, of course, something needed doing, at which point the tune changed to meek appreciation. It had been happening to Colson all his life, but instead of becoming used to it and maybe even developing a sense of humor on the subject, he had become just a touch prickly about the topic. Apparently, that went double when the perceived slight was coming from a woman he couldn't stop imagining himself kissing.
“Yeah, I bet you’re right,” he said in a conversational, almost careless tone of voice that belied just how bristly the little slight had made him feel. “Probably doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun. But the thing is, not everything in life can be fun and games, you know? That’s something a lot of people don’t seem to see until their backs are up against the wall. Some of us just realize that it’s better to be prepared.”
“Sure, I know,” Jolie said quietly, looking steadily at her hands, which were clasped so tightly in her lap that her knuckles appeared to be turning white. “And honestly, I’m not surprised to hear you say that.”
“Oh, no?” Colson asked. “Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “I kind of get the impression that for you, things stop being fun and games pretty much the minute you wake up.”
“Ouch,” he said in a monotone, his heart thudding so hard that it felt like it was beating everywhere in his body, from his chest cavity to his temples to his toes.
Her words might not bother him quite so much if they didn’t hit so close to home, but as it was, they left him feeling the need to retaliate. The instinct to lash back whenever he was hurt wasn’t a nice quality, and it was one he’d been trying to work on since Adam had come to stay, but it was definitely still a work in progress.
“No, hey, I’m not trying to be mean,” she stammered, her eyes growing wide as she examined the expression on his face.
“The thing is,” he interrupted stonily—his default persona when he was feeling judged, “I’ve got a ranch to run, and there’s nobody to look to if it fails. It’s all on me. I have people counting on me, Jolie, people who need me to get things right. That’s a responsibility I can’t take lightly, even if it means that there isn’t as much fun to be had. Adam’s well-being, for example. That’s a hell of a lot more important to me than having a good time.”
His words hung thick in the air between them. For all of her love of chatter, Jolie didn’t seem to have much to say to his rant. He couldn’t exactly say he blamed her, either. It was likely that the whole speech seemed overblown and way out of proportion to her, mostly because she wasn’t privy to the multitude of confusing thoughts he’d been having lately—many of them having to do with her.
Simply put, he didn't trust himself around her. She made him feel almost out of control, and that was a feeling he hated more than nearly anything. It was one he couldn't afford to indulge at the moment, either. Not when Adam needed him so desperately and when Colson’s track record for relationships with the opposite sex showed that they didn't end well. He'd only had one serious relationship with a woman before, and that had blown up spectacularly. Looking back on it now, he understood that he had been laughably naive with his ex. He had been too trusting, had allowed himself to forget who he really was, and it had made him vulnerable in ways he would never have imagined possible. That vulnerability was something he couldn't expose himself to again, not with things as they stood now. He couldn't permit himself to get distracted when there was only one direction his life could really go.
“I was only joking, really,” Jolie finally said quietly, looking out at the land again instead of making eye contact. “I understand how important Adam is to you, and that taking care of him matters more than anything. I’ve never had a kid, but I can imagine that keeping things orderly would be the only way to keep unexpected parenting from being utterly terrifying. And, for what it’s worth, you seem to be doing a really good job with him. I don’t think he would love you so much if you weren’t.”
Colson could think of nothing to say in response, so he settled on a stiff nod. It not only allowed the silence to return, but to stretch out in a truly painful way that made him feel like his skin was trying to crawl right off of his body. The moment stretched out for long enough that Colson thought he might go insane if it didn’t end, and yet his stomach gave an unhappy lurch when she finally stood and headed for the door.
“I think I’m going to call it a day,” she said softly, something almost sad in her voice. “I’m feeling pretty tired all of the sudden. Have a good night, Colson. I hope tomorrow is easier than today.”
He nodded again, but she was gone before she could see it. Colson was left sitting there with nothing but his beer and the singing crickets to keep him company. As he peered out into the steadily falling dark, he couldn’t help but wonder what was so bad about having her sitting with him in the first place. It was for the best to keep things separate, he knew that, but at the moment it didn’t seem like such a good thing, after all.
Seven
Jolie kept her head down for the next week, doing her best to keep out of Colson's way as much as she could. It was challenging for her, though, since it wasn't in her nature to stay away from people. Any people. She was much more inclined to try to make friends with just about everyone she met. Colson's words on the porch the previous weekend had stung her, though, and she felt like she was still carrying them around with her. That, coupled with the fact that her attraction to him seemed to grow every time she saw him, made her unsure of how to interact with her new boss. Every time she thought she had a handle on things, she remembered the almost haunted look in his eyes as he spoke about the importance of his responsibilities, and she got confused all over again.
Thankfully, thinking about Colson and the mysterious cogs and wheels that made him tick was far from the only thing Jolie had on her plate. She was the kind of woman who liked to outdo her own successes, and she attacked each new day’s worth of meals with the intent to make them better than the last. She busied herself with the work of getting to know Adam as well and was almost painfully thankful for how easily he seemed to be accepting her. By the time the next Saturday came around, she had devised an entire surprise day for the two of them, something to pull him away from the inside of the house he seemed to be practically glued to.
"It might be a really big, fancy house," she told herself as she prepared the morning's breakfast while simultaneously getting together a picnic for their lunch. “But after a while, you're still just cooped up inside."
“Who you talking to, Jolie?” Adam piped up, stumbling through the open kitchen door while still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Imaginary friend?”
"Nope." She giggled, loving him a little more for how easily that explanation came to him, and how little judgment there was in his question. "But I might as well be. I have a nasty little habit of talking to myself."
“I do that too,” Adam said in a conspiratorial voice that made her want to laugh even harder. “I don’t think it’s bad.”
“You know what?” she asked, regarding him fondly with her hands on her hips. “I don’t either. Sometimes, we’re our own best company.”
He nodded and hopped up onto one of the barstools flanking the kitchen island, smiling widely when he saw the breakfast she set out before him. Jolie had grown up with parents who believed that the weekends were a time for lavish, fun meals, and it was one of their habits that she had kept with her as an adult. She was determined to provide Adam with the same experience, and so far, he seemed to be enjoying it just as much as she always had.
The two of them ate in silence that was mostly companionable. They were just finishing up with Jolie putting the finishing touches on their picnic basket for later when Colson sauntered into the room. He was freshly showered, the damp making his white T-shirt cling to an impressively muscled chest, and Jolie sucked in an appreciative breath before she could help it. The flicker of a smile that passed across his face, there one moment and gone the next, made her think he'd noticed her reaction.
“What’s all of this?” he asked, shaking his head at the plate of food she offered him and going straight for the coffee instead. “Looks like you two are planning on getting up to some trouble.”
“We are,” Jolie said decisively, smiling mischievously when Adam looked up at her with surprise in his eyes. “A secret adventure.”
"Is that so?" Colson asked, one eyebrow lifting. On the surface, his voice seemed as calm as it had been a second ago, but Jolie could see that her words had triggered his alarms. She thought she would be hard-pressed to find a man more tightly wound than him, and it made her feel sorry for him, even if he did have his reasons.
“It is indeed,” she said brightly, patting the top of her basket as if she were greeting an old friend. “Everybody needs a little adventure in their lives, that’s what I say.”
“Sure, I can see that,” he agreed, although the look in his eyes made her question the truth of the statement. “Before you guys get too wrapped up in anything, though, can I talk to you in the other room for a second?”
Jolie nodded, careful to keep her same light-hearted expression even as her heart sank. She had known this was coming, of course, she did, but that didn't mean she had to like it. She wasn't a fan of confrontation, and she didn't relish the idea of getting into one now.
"Okay, Jolie," he said as soon as they were out of earshot, eschewing the pleasantries and getting right down to business. "Walk me through it. With the understanding that I'm not a big fan of surprises, tell me what's going on with this whole adventure scheme."
"Sure, of course," she said, using what she hoped was her best I'm-a-trustworthy-adult voice. "It occurred to me this week that it's kind of a shame for a kid growing up on such a big, beautiful patch of land to be cooped up inside as much as Adam is, so I thought we would make a day of exploring the great outdoors."
"Right," Colson said, speaking slowly like he was addressing somebody who was certifiable. "Just one thing. You know he's allergic to just about everything, right? I'm not so sure that's conducive to exploration."
“I know, and I totally get what you’re saying, but with all due respect, I’ve already thought about that,” she said, speaking quickly now as if the speed alone could stave off any further objection. “And I’ve been talking to Denver all week about what I want to do.”
“Have you now?” he asked in a tone that made her wonder if she had inadvertently gotten one of her new friends in trouble.
"I have," she agreed, nodding with far more confidence than she actually felt. "And he's helped me to scout out places that are totally safe for Adam. We've gone and looked the locations over and everything, just to make sure that there aren't any bees or plants that he's allergic to. It's not really all that far from here."
“Right, but it can seem a whole lot further when you’ve got an emergency staring you in the face,” Colson argued, although thankfully, he didn’t seem angry.
“Which is why we’re driving, even though it’s only a half a mile away,” she said. She could sense that she was overcoming his arguments, and she was hell-bent on pushing her advantage. “I promise you, Colson, despite the first impression I gave you, I’m a responsible person.”
"Come on; I know that," he said, his voice edged with a tinge of embarrassment now. "I'm not trying to say otherwise."
“Then know that he’s safe with me, okay?” she said, almost pleading with him now to see things her way and let go of Adam’s leash, if only just for a little while. “I... I think it will be good for him, that’s all. We all need a little bit of excitement from time to time, don’t we?”
Colson was quiet for a few moments more, but Jolie’s spirits were already starting to rise. She could see that she had won him over even before he nodded his reluctant permission, and it made her feel like she might spontaneously sprout wings and take flight. She was rapidly coming to understand that, sometimes, the victories that felt the best were the smallest ones.
Thirty minutes and an excruciating number of warnings later, Jolie and Adam were buckled up in her Bug, heading out into the great unknown. Or that was how it felt to Jolie, at least, and she suspected it was how Adam was feeling as well. It didn’t matter that they weren’t so much as stepping foot off of the ranch’s property. They were doing something different, something unexpected, and that made them both feel free. Even Adam, still so unnervingly quiet and reserved a good deal of the time, was practically bouncing up and down in his seat. He was all but vibrating with excitement, a feeling that Jolie gladly shared. Without even realizing it, she started humming a jaunty little tune that reminded her of her own youthful days of exploration.
When they arrived at the predetermined location scouted so carefully by her and Denver, the two of them spilled out of the car, setting the picnic aside to be eaten once they had worked up the appetite. Jolie looked out at the rolling, rocky hills of the land appreciatively until she realized that Adam was watching her instead of partaking of the view.
“What’s the matter, kiddo?” she asked brightly, reaching out and ruffling his carefully combed hair. “Do I have something weird and horrible on my face?”
“Nope, nothing,” he said with a sheepish smile, his cheeks coloring at having been caught staring. “Just trying to figure out the song.”
“The song?” she asked, cocking her head to the side questioningly. “What do you mean?”
“You were humming something,” he said with a shrug. “It looked like it made you happy.”
Jolie considered this, only now fully aware that she had been vocalizing the tune anywhere but inside of her head. When she realized what it was she’d been humming, her face broke open into a sunny grin. In light of Adam’s current thespian pursuits, she couldn’t have chosen a better ditty if she’d tried.
“It’s called ‘We’re Off to See the Wizard,’” she said with a laugh. “It’s from a movie, based on the same book your play is based on. Pretty cool, right?”
“You know that story?” Adam asked, his mouth dropping open with awed appreciation.
"I do," she nodded happily, still giggling as they made their way to the edge of a pretty little brook. "It's one of my absolute favorite movies. In fact, I actually brought it with me. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier. Maybe we could watch it later when we get back to the house. But only if you want, of course."
“Yeah, I want to!” Adam said, nodding vigorously. It was the most enthusiastic and animated Jolie had seen him up to this point, and she made a mental note to cook up another adventure for them to go on, and soon.
“I could help you run your lines, too,” she continued, feeling almost shy as she extended the offer. “And maybe help you figure out some of the blocking and stuff.”
He nodded again and even clapped his hands as if he couldn't quite contain his delight. After that, it was like a dam had broken, and with it had gone the last remnants of hesitation between them. They chattered away like two old friends, hardly able to stop talking for long enough to eat their lunch. When the sun started on its slow trajectory back below the horizon, it was with a true twinge of regret that Jolie loaded them both back into the car. She had made real progress with Adam today, she could feel it in her bones, and as she drove, her head buzzed with the question of what they should do next. They would watch the movie, they would run lines, and eventually, they would all sit down to a far more intimate supper than the weekday affairs, with the ranch hands all at their own homes. She didn't think it really mattered what they did when. As far as she was concerned, nothing was going to pale the splendor of this day.
“No,” Adam said suddenly beside her, something in his voice making her risk a quick glance in his direction as she guided her car into its customary spot alongside the house. “Oh, no, no, no.”
“What, sweetie?” she asked, fear intertwining with confusion as she followed the direction of his gaze to a very expensive looking car parked carelessly right in front of the porch.
But Adam didn’t answer her. He unbuckled his seat belt quickly, and as though in a trance, practically launching himself out of the car and towards the steps. Jolie had to scramble to get the picnic things together and follow suit, and she was out of breath and jumpy with nerves by the time she got through the front door. What she saw when her eyes adjusted to the indoor light did nothing to put her worries at ease.
“It’s okay, bud,” Colson was saying, kneeling down so that he and Adam were eye level. Adam had his arms roped tightly around Colson's neck, and he was whispering something fiercely, speaking so quickly that it was a wonder even his guardian could understand him. "You don't have to stay down here. You can go straight up to your room until things calm down if that's what you want."
Adam nodded fiercely and then raced for the stairs without once looking over his shoulder at the two unfamiliar people standing in the living room. Because it was more than just her and Colson there. There was an older couple there as well, wearing twin expressions of open hostility.
“See? This, this right here,” the woman said, her voice growing steadily louder as Adam fled. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. How dare you try to keep me from my grandson. This is precisely why we’ll be filing for custody.”
