The Traitors We Are: Crown and Tide Book 1, page 12
“Oh, did he want to join the fight? A lot of the men from the front will tell you they are the ones jealous of him.” Emil said with a vacant look in his eyes, trying to block out the imagined sudden smell of sulfur.
“No,” Her face twisted into a slight, beautiful frown, “he knows about our, would you say, moment, if you will. I’m surprised his desire to show off your friendship outweighed how threatened he feels by you.” She took his arm, and they started to walk towards the dining room.
“Well, it’s a good thing we have remained friends, and he has nothing to worry about,” Emil mumbled, trying to keep a smile, but it was like he forgot how to or didn’t want to remember.
“It wasn’t my choice, Emil.” Hortense stopped walking and turned to him. She drew close, and her eyes stared into his. She pressed against him, and he felt her breath on his cheek.
“I know.” Emil was still uncomfortable and trying to keep moving forward. He could tell she had more to say that he wasn’t ready to hear.
“You were the one I wanted, but you know, my family.” Her voice got softer, lower; there was a slight tremble to it. He had to lean in to catch what she said.
“Yes, I certainly know about families,” Emil said, trying to break eye contact as politely as possible.
They stood there for several heartbeats without speaking. The hallway was long and decorated with fabulous suits of armor from different eras and cultures. It was a vulgar display of wealth and resources sure to impress anyone but the most wealthy and powerful. He tried to keep his attention anywhere but on Hortense.
“I still want you.” She spoke the words in a feathery whisper in his ear. He could feel the warm, damp-breath of her voice. Her words conveyed a sultry sensuousness and a promise. That gave him pause. “And I think you still want me.”
“But, but you, you're married and have that baby. I’m engaged. It’s too late for this. In a different world, it could have happened, but this is the world we live in.” As off guard as he was, it pleased him to know he had the presence of mind to omit the word fat when speaking of her child. Deep down, she was saying everything he wished she would. It was difficult for him to reject her. Dejected, she looked at him for a sign of weakness, and then a smile returned to her lips.
“And no one in the Keep follows their heart? Your father has no mistresses?” She winked at him. The only response he could give was a pained silence as dozens of awful memories played in his head. “Think it over. You know where to find me if you ever want to...speak further on this matter.”
She produced a key from her bodice and placed it into his pocket. “It’s an open invitation.” Emil felt nervous in a way that women didn’t often make him feel. He had his shares of dalliances. Everyone in high society seemed to have affairs. There were lines, though. He had never been with a married woman and never when he was engaged. It was true that he and Hortense had been close to marrying before the interference of the Tonniks. That changed nothing and didn’t make this right.
“What about Grieg? This isn’t fair to him. Him or Merily.” Emil could be a man of principle. He knew he could. Sometimes you had to find resolve from a place deep in yourself that you didn’t know you had. He was still looking for it.
“You are assuming Grieg isn’t having an affair of his own. I still don’t know him well, but I hardly think he’s above it.” She laughed almost imperceptibly, “And, I’m sorry but have you ever met your bride-to-be?” They were still standing in the hall conversing in low whispers. “I doubt this arrangement will thrill her, no matter how handsome her captor.”
At that moment, Grieg opened the door and smiled.
“Of course, the soldier loves the armor! I wondered what was taking so long. I knew you would appreciate these pieces, Emil. You see, my family....”
Even though Emil hadn't eaten much that day, he ate very little of the beautiful food his hosts had provided. He was too sick to his stomach and excused himself after the main course.
A Vale of Tears—Merily
It was raining when the soldiers of the Missing Tide arrived back at the village. Even so, almost everyone was out at the entrance of town, ready to meet their heroes. Everyone knew about the deaths of Fhinbar and the other fallen soldiers of the Reach. Their signatures disappeared a little over two weeks ago. Shortly after, old Guster brought the news that the Keep had agreed to terms of peace. Celebrations had erupted through the village. The mood was different this morning. In this rain, and seeing how few of their people were actually making it back home, it was a sobering moment.
Like everyone else, she tried to focus on the positive instead. All around her were moments of beauty. Husband reunited with wife. Mother reunited with children. Out of the corner of her eye, she even saw Yennina and Honest Cor embracing. Merily knew Yenn was angry at Cor for not writing much from the front. She figured that Yenn needed a moment before putting that lad in his place. Merily couldn't blame Cor for much. He was always honest but not always considerate. Few men of the Reach were, to be fair. Before Derris came back to her mind, she steeled herself against that wave of emotion. She would not let herself ruin this moment for the Tides.
As the sad procession passed her on the way to their loved ones, the first to approach her was Cael. She winced as she saw a long, jagged set of stitches across the side of his face. His eyes were deeper set and more haunted than she remembered them being before he left. Not that he ever looked all that pleasant, to begin with. His hair was a knotted mess, and he was wearing the same clothes, now wet with rain, he had worn when he left.
"Meri." He couldn't make eye contact, and there was a deep shame in his voice. This was not the Cael she expected when they received the news of the battle of the Sparse Forest, but Cael was Cael. You could never predict the boy.
"Cael." If you were unsure how to react to Cael, it was always best to match his energy and see what happened. He unslung the pack from his shoulder and started digging around.
"So, y' probably know what yer idiot fiancé went and did. Got himself killed. I'm still surprised he made it as long as he did. "Cael continued to root around his pack. Eyes fixed inside at the items it carried," boy was no good at many things y' best believe. Truly, that was a man with no talent for anything important."
"Aye, Cael. I'm surprised he brought his weapons at all. Probably thought he was going on a fishing trip, though even if it was, I dare say he would have ended up just as dead." The tradition still stung, but it was important to Cael and even important to her in its way. In her mind, she had already practiced and lived this moment hundreds of times. She only wished her brother could open up and they could share their grief.
"Well, speaking of the boys' weapons." Cael pulled out Derris' father's dirk, "I borrowed this, figured you could hold on to it." He passed it to her handle first and started walking away without another word. Meri stood silent, dumbfounded, looking at the blade as the rain fell all around her. She turned to Cael as he tried to continue walking away.
"Cael, did Derr, did he say anything at the end?" Merily fought back a sudden wave of tears. She resolved to be strong, and the triumphant return was already proving more difficult than she expected.
"Aye, he told me to tell y' thank you. Way with words, that one. Y' dodged an arrow there, Merr." Cael turned to walk away when someone slapped him upside his head.
"Cael, boy, If you were about to walk past me, y' got another thing coming." Merily loved how her mom could always put her brother in his place. She pretended the tears were more rain and wiped her face.
"Hey, ma." He spoke with guilt thick in his voice and cringed. Cael was always an odd one, but he was acting far stranger than usual. Which, for him, was saying quite a lot. Behind him, Meri noticed Freia walking up to their group.
"Merr! Saorys!" She ran the last few feet and hugged them both. "Do y' know where my sister and slob of a dad are?"
"Aye Frey, Naoma is still trying to wake Kod." Saorys always had a way of putting things. Kod, Naoma and Freia's father, had been drunk every day since their mom died. War or no war. Even on a day when he knew his daughter was coming back from months at the front, he was in his cabin drunk.
"I figured as much. I'll go see them after I'm done with you two." Freia noticed Cael trying to slink away. "That's alright, Cael, be awful to yer mom and sister. I'll entertain them with stories of our exploits." Freia's arrival had distracted Meri from falling back into the deep pool of grief she felt.
Freia was like a part of the family, and Merily was very happy she had made it back in one piece. She was the type that could cheer you up no matter what was going on. More often than not, she would refuse to speak about the dead because she didn't want to say anything bad about them. Unusual, but it still followed the tradition, more or less. Cael continued to walk away to sulk, or whatever it was he was off to do.
"I wish y' would marry my brother Frey. He could use some of yer attitude." Merily had always liked her, and Naoma was one of her best friends. There were many positives for a match like that. Merily didn't understand why two people who cared about each other, like Freia and Cael, didn't at least try to make a go of it. Even Meri's mom raised an eyebrow at Freia. Freia sighed, and though they knew this talk tired her, both Saorys and Merily were set on making it happen.
"Well, three problems. One, yer idiot brother is far too stupid to ever come up with an idea like asking me. Even if he did have a momentary increase of intelligence, another problem is I'm far too smart to ever say yes to that lad. Third and finally," Freia smiled her most mischievous smile, "I'm having too much fun with other lads. So, sorry again, Meri, Saorys, as amazing as I am, I will not be joining with the Oberlans."
"Well, dear, there is always Kieron. If Berria hasn't gotten rid of him yet, it's a sure bet it will happen like the others." Saorys smirked. That made Meri laugh, and Freia's eyes went wide.
"Do y' want me to end up murdered in my sleep?" All three laughed. "Besides, I want to be single when we all go to the capital. I'm going to seduce a Keepling and make him buy me the pretty things I could never afford on my own. They can consider it the first step towards restitution or what have you." She laughed, but the other two women were quiet and bewildered.
"Sorry, what was that, Frey?" Saorys asked, puzzled.
"Well, I suppose I should have asked you all as well, but Cael owes me a favor, and I told him he had to take me with y' all to the Keep." Their reaction confused Freia. She was flustered by the weird turn this conversation had taken, and she frowned. It was Meri's turn to be confused.
"What do y' mean going with us to the Keep?" Instead of answering, Freia's eyes opened even wider as she looked behind Meri and Saorys. It didn't take long to understand the meaning of her surprise. Merily's father's voice greeted her from behind.
"Merily, could we speak alone for a moment?" There was a quiet calm in his voice. The kind that let her know that he had done something and there was nothing she could do to change it. Saorys caught the tone and didn't even protest the fact that her husband hadn't greeted her. Whatever Ordan had done, this conversation came first.
She sat by the fire in her father's longhouse, squeezing the rainwater out of her hair. She had always loved sitting by the meeting fire and listening to the old men talk and scheme. Her father would sit, lips pursed, in his head, formulating a plan of his own. Today the longhouse was a far more uncomfortable scene as Ordan paced back and forth, and she sat.
"Merily, there is no good way to say this, so I am going to come out and say it. I made a match for you." Ordan stopped pacing and watched her face for a reaction. He was always doing things like that, trying to figure people out. She liked to watch him do it to others, but it wasn't so fun when you were on the other end of it. She wanted to make a sarcastic joke about how she was afraid of being an old maid, but she couldn't. She only nodded and let him continue. Ordan was like a coming storm, and you couldn't stop him once he got going anyway. Once he was sure she wouldn't speak, he continued.
"The Keep required we keep a Governor. The situation isn't ideal, I know, but some concessions were necessary. The man I negotiated with is the father of our next Governor. Emil Trestinsen seems to be a good man. Naive, but I hope that you can guide him in the right direction as his wife and our first native Governess." Ordan finished all in one breath. This was all rehearsed, and she could tell, another part of his plan. "You have an opportunity here, Merily, and you can do something special. You can help our people."
Even though she felt like she was at her breaking point, she chose to be strong. She was still wet and cold from the rain, but her chest was on fire. Merily knew Ordan had always manipulated everyone else, including her brothers. This was the first time he manipulated her. That she knew of, at least. This was her punishment for not caring about his other schemes that didn't involve her. The fire in her chest went out, and she felt cold and numb through her body. Like she was no longer Merily, but someone watching Merily.
"So, let me get this straight. I'm engaged to a Keepling. Like the kind that killed Derris. And if I recall right, this is the same man that killed Lorcen? Is that correct?" There was no emotion in her voice, but she felt a cold, black rage. When Ordan had announced he made a match, she had expected Ordan promised her to this or that warrior or chief. That was a common exchange for services rendered during a war. This was unbelievable. Even Ordan didn't know how to respond to her.
"Well, yes, that is correct, but Merily, you need to realize," for once, Merily was the one who interrupted her dad.
"Y' needed me for your plan." She said, her voice deadpan. She got up from the floor. She had heard enough.
"Well, yes..." Ordan seemed nervous. Like he expected a reaction more emotional than this, but this was a reaction that frightened him.
"And it will bring peace and help our people." She replied, voice flat and numb. She started walking towards the door.
"Yes, and..." Ordan was trying to get ahead of her, but it was no use.
"And we can use their Keepling Governor and his, I'm sorry, my offspring against them." She started walking out without a second thought.
"Well, we still need to discuss.." Ordan tried to get in her way.
"Ordan, it doesn't seem like there is anything to discuss. It sure seems a whole lot like you've decided this already. When do we leave for the Keep?" She was standing firm, and she was tired of her dad's idiocy already. How had Cael and Lorcen put up with this for so many years?
"In three days, I have to..." Seeing that he couldn't convince her to stay in the longhouse, he stood to the side.
"I don't care what you have to do." She left as fast as her feet would carry her.
The rain was worse, and only a few people were running through the village seeking cover. Out of few possibilities, the only place she could think to go was her mother's house. By the time she made it there, she was wetter and colder than when she first arrived at Ordan's house. Mud covered her from head to toe from where the dirt met the rain and splashed up as she ran home.
Inside her house, Saorys was finishing preparations for their dinner. Cael sat at the table drinking something hot out of a mug. Ordan's meal had already finished, and she was waiting for a break in the rain to bring it to him. Merily had a wild look in her eyes that scared her mother. Cael didn't react. Odd how that boy was acting, almost like he...all the fire and rage from earlier came right back to the surface.
"Y' knew, and you didn't tell me?" Cael kept his eyes down, and she could watch as he struggled with the words.
"What did Cael know, Merr?" Saorys always had to play peacekeeper between them since they were young. Merily almost felt bad for her mom this time.
"Oh, wait till y' hear this, mom." Merily pointed out the door towards Ordan's longhouse. "Yer husband is marrying me off to the very same Keepling that killed Lorcen." Saorys turned to Cael.
"And y' knew about this?" Saorys was scowling, and the words were as close to yelling as her mom ever got. Cael was still trying to find the words.
"Aye, I wasn't asked about it, though. Y' both know how Ordan is. He threw it out all casual during the peace talks. Like he had it ready to go and knew to offer it going in. I'm sure he knew what he was going to do the whole time." He finally looked at Meri,
"Y' need to know this, Meri." He stood up and put both hands on her wet shoulders. "This is exactly who our dad is. Just cause he never did anything like this to y' before didn't mean he wasn't going to. He would have married you off in an instant," Cael snapped for emphasis, "to a giant from Polinskar. He'd ship you off to a lesserman. He'd make you concubine to the King of Harfal himself. He would do anything if it meant he could get what he wanted or if it could make his plan even the slightest bit easier. I'm surprised he let you and Derris match in the first place. Does he owe something to the Bladcros?"
Merily slapped Cael as hard as she could. She made a point of slapping the side without the stitches, but she was mad enough she could have gone for it. Part of her was hitting the words Cael said rather than the boy himself, but why hadn't he stood up for her? When had he given up? Where was the brother she knew? Reddening, there was a handprint forming where she had slapped him.
"Well, Merily, did you tell him no?" Cael was not bothered in the slightest by the slap. It could be because of all the times she, Saorys, and Freia slapped him, or it was the point he needed to make. "You didn't, did you?"
"I didn't..." Why hadn't she said no? Could she have? She had gotten plenty mad and talked a little bit, but it didn't seem like she could have said no. Waiting a moment for words that weren't coming, he turned to his mother.
"Yer talking big too, are y' gonna do anything about this?" He had never spoken to them like this before. For the first time, she could see the layers and years of frustration. Even his demeanor was different. What had changed in him?
