Pack Witch, page 6
part #5 of The Splintered Bond Series
She arched her back up, her cries turning into sobs of pleasure as she came again while I fucked her, relishing every second. It was the most perfect moment of my life. The scent of the crushed grass below us, and her own fresh scent blending with mine... the sounds of our bodies moving together, as the nightjars called out around us and the wind blew through the canopy… her salt and musk on my lips and the slightly metallic taste of my own blood as I bit my lip, fighting for control.
My teeth itched, the canines lengthening as my wolf surged to the fore, longing for his mate. Needing to claim her. I growled as I moved inside her, my wolf calling out to her as much as he could while we made love.
But her wolf was still silent. No, almost entirely imperceptible, like a wisp of a shadow across the moon, as she trembled in the throes of ecstasy once again. I wasn’t sure if I was imagining its presence. I closed my lips over my teeth, ignoring the blood they drew as I protected her from a painful bond.
My wolf snarled, and I lost control. But thank the moon, not entirely. I kept my wolf from rising to mark her, but the climax would not be stopped.
“My love,” I cried out. “Mate.” The sensations began at the base of my spine, radiating through every part of me as she lifted her hips and I filled her. It was almost painful, as if I’d been waiting not minutes but decades for my peak. Of course, I had been. Being with Zinnia was exactly what I’d been missing for almost half my life.
I folded her into my arms and held her, still inside her, as she shuddered. Why was she still shaking?
My wolf whimpered silently. Was she trembling with pleasure, or with something else?
“Was it…?” I wasn’t sure what I was asking. Slowly, on sharp, silent feet, the pain began to return, my own skin beginning to burn and itch once more.
I ignored it. I could live with my own pain as I had for years. I couldn’t bear the idea that she was hurting, not now. Not for a second.
“It was, Julian,” she whispered, her voice strained. “It was everything.” I held her as she began to cry, trying to believe her as she assured me she was just overcome with emotion.
It should have felt like bliss, like the beginning of something new and lovely. But as the moonlight faded and the night grew darker and her quiet sobbing never stopped, my heart filled with an emotion I’d almost never experienced, even in my decades as a warrior.
Fear.
Chapter 9
Zinnia
I’d never done it myself, but I’d read stories about the awkwardness of waking up in the arms of a new lover. Ida had brought books to my cabin for years. She’d noticed I read the romances more than once and started bringing more of those over time. I had boxes of paperbacks under my bed, ones she claimed were too dog-eared to be of use in the Alpha’s library.
I’d longed for the things I’d read in those books, though, even the morning afters. And when I woke in the clearing, my wound healed more than enough to rise and return to the cabin, I realized I’d looked forward to the awkwardness of meeting a lover’s eyes after making love. Maybe even falling back into his arms.
But Julian was gone. What an asshole.
A storm of emotions swept through me: anger, hurt, disappointment, regret, even shame. I’d imagined waking in a tangle of arms and legs, kissing with morning breath, seeing his body in the sunlight.
I glanced down at my own body, the age spots and wrinkles even more pronounced, for some reason. Maybe the love bites and beard burn made them stand out more?
“What an absolute piece of shit,” I said out loud. I wasn’t some great beauty; I never had been. But was I really so unappealing that he’d felt he needed to leave without a word?
Why should it matter so much? I’d been alone for every morning of my life, since I’d left my sister and my own small pack. I was used to it, so there was no reason for the tears now stinging the backs of my eyes.
When I sniffled, a squirrel from the closest aspen scampered down and ran up my bare legs, chittered, then lifted its ears and fled. I turned my head to see what had scared her and heard someone stumbling through the woods.
“Julian?”
He answered from behind me, not from the woods. “I’m insulted. That much noise, it must be a herd of elks.”
I twisted around, shocked. Where had he been hiding? He was a massive male, but he obviously moved like a ghost.
His hungry gaze slid down my naked form as he kneeled beside me, just before a familiar piece of calico fabric appeared over my head. “Arms up, love, unless you want my boys to lose their eyes.”
“Lose their eyes?” I sputtered as he lifted my arm and threaded it through the sleeve of my oldest, most threadbare house dress, the one I sometimes used to make a nest for wounded rabbits or chipmunks. It still smelled slightly of rodents, though the last time I’d seen it, it had been in a clean laundry basket inside my cabin.
I struggled as he tried to put my head through the neck hole, swatting his hands away as I heard the voices of the boys and Ida becoming clearer. Suddenly, I didn’t care what I was wearing: I just needed something to cover the evidence of last night.
Ida sounded farther away, but her voice sailed clearly through the woods. “Boys, stop dragging your feet. You know what you have to do.”
“Probably die with my head tore clean off,” one of the boys moaned. Bo, I remembered. His name was Bo. “I almost killed his woman. You know what he taught us about hurtin’ females.”
“He ain’t gonna kill ya, Bo. Grandma Ida says she lived, and all ya gotta do is make sure you offer resolution,” the other one replied, just as I managed to get the old dress on.
Julian stood next to me in his clothing, though the shirt was torn open to reveal his muscled chest, which was a true distraction. He glowered in the direction of the two young males who were bumbling through the woods, a little too close to the place where a skunk had made her den.
“Resolution?” I murmured.
“Restitution, maybe?” Julian muttered quietly. “Bo and Leroy, they’re good boys, but I’m pretty sure they were both dropped on their heads a few dozen times before I met them.”
“Sergeant!” Leroy spotted us and jogged closer. He stopped a few feet away and grinned at me, Bo still dragging his feet behind. They were both barefoot, dressed in short, cut-off sweatpants and nothing else, covered with flecks of mud. “Your old lady’s healed up?”
“Old lady?” I grouched, peering down at the calico gown. I didn’t have time to lift my head before Bo was kneeling in front of me, his dark blond head pressed to the ground, his hands clasped like he was praying only a few inches in front of my knees. He had twigs stuck in his messy hair.
“Please forgive me, Miss Zinnia. Please let me make resurrection to ya. I never meant to hurt you, I swear. I’m just a fool like Sergeant always says, a useless fool.” He sobbed as I cut a sharp glance up to Julian, who shuffled his bare feet.
“Like Sergeant always says?” I repeated, arching a brow.
“I don’t call you a fool that often, boy.” The unmistakable, bitter scent of a lie met my nostrils, and he scrubbed at the back of his neck with one hand as Leroy laughed.
“Only on days that end in Y, right, Alpha? Hi there, Miss Zinnia, ma’am.” He nodded his head, a long piece of dark hair falling over his face. He blew it away and took in my appearance. “I’m glad to see you healed up. Grandma Ida said you might not be able to shift and heal yourself, what with your wolf bein’, well, you know.”
“Leroy,” Julian growled. “A little tact?”
“I didn’t shift.” I stood, smoothing the hideous dress around my thighs. “I can’t. But I used my magic to heal. Well, as much as I could.” I ran a hand over the place where Bo’s teeth had torn my skin. It was still puckered and rough, the healing only in the early stages.
Bo had lifted his head and was staring at the red wound on my upper arm. “Oh, sweet Mother Moon, you’re gonna scar? Sergeant’s right. I’m too stupid to live. Ya oughta kill me now, Sarge.” He tucked his head back down, and I had a feeling he was crying in the dirt.
Julian nudged him with one foot. Well, more of a kick than a nudge. “Get up off the dirt, Bo. Nobody’s killing anyone today.”
Grandma Ida called out as she rounded the stand of white-trunked aspens, her smile wide, “I’d hope not. And making restitution is a lot harder than dying, boy. I told you that last night. Get up off the ground now, and help us old ladies get to the cabin.”
Bo stood, his head still hanging like he wasn’t able to look at me. That wouldn’t do. I sighed and reached out my hand. “Bo, I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. You thought you were protecting me from Marta. The bear.” He nodded furiously. “She’s my friend.”
“You’re friends with a bear?” He blinked at me, his light brown eyes growing wide. “Not a bear shifter, right? Alpha Brand says there’s such things in the world, you know. If she’s a bear shifter, that would make a lotta sense.”
I cocked my head. Bear shifters? Maybe he had been dropped on his head. “No, a wounded bear. I’d introduce you, but I’m pretty sure she won’t come back around before you and Julian—your Sergeant—go on your way.”
“What now?” Ida murmured, coming closer. She pulled down the neckline of my dress, then moved my head to each side gently. “That’s odd.” She stepped up to Julian and grabbed his torn shirt, pulling it away from his neck. “There better be a bite mark on both of you somewhere, Julian, or I’m going to be very disappointed.”
Julian made an odd noise. “Later, Ida.”
“Don’t you think you waited too long already, boy?” she snapped. “You two are true mates; I don’t need to have my Brand’s moonblessed eyes to see the tie between you.”
“Ida,” I whispered. “Leave it.” I fought to keep my face from showing my pain, but even if I’d made a life of hiding from pain and the rest of the world, I’d never been good at hiding how I felt. Julian hadn’t tried to claim me, even though he’d given me a memory to last for the rest of my life. I understood why, or suspected I did. Why claim a mate who had nothing to offer your wolf?
Julian wound an arm around me, and I tried not to melt into the warmth of his body. “She’s still wounded, Ida. And you know why I’m on this journey. Don’t force the issue.”
“For now,” she replied, giving Julian a look that made it clear she would circle back later. She wheeled on Bo. “Young one, did you beg forgiveness and offer restitution?”
“I was workin’ on it,” he muttered. “But she’s got magic, Grandma Ida. I don’t know what she’d want from a fool like me.”
Julian snorted, like he agreed. When I frowned at him, he sighed. “Ida’s been working for the past week on teaching the boys how to live honorably. How to make restitution for past wrongs.”
“The old ways,” Leroy jumped in. “Our pack was Southern, and a worse bunch of scum never ran under the moon. But Sergeant folded us into a new pack called Meridion, and your Alpha Brand told us we had a true mate somewhere. Maybe even the same mate, ‘cause he only saw one new golden string, or whatever, connectin’ up with both of ours. That probably means there’s just one mate for the both of us.”
Golden string? Sharing a mate? I blinked at Ida. “Like Flor and her… mate group?” She nodded, her lips pursed like she was trying not to smile. The idea of more than one mate had been a story I’d needed more than one glass of gin to wrap my head around.
Bo shivered. “But we been prayin’ to the moon our mate ain’t as much of a hardass as Miss Fl—”
“Shut up, Bo. Talk nice about Miss Florida.” Leroy punched his friend, possibly as punctuation for his command.
Bo hit back, and a scuffle began. The fighting was far too close for my comfort, until Julian barked out, “Attention!” Both boys snapped to standing, their cheeks blazing as they realized what they’d done. “You two should know better. It’s almost like you’re asking for punishment.” Two sets of narrow shoulders drooped, and they muttered more apologies.
I didn’t like the hardness in Julian’s voice when he spoke to them, so I used a far gentler tone. “You’re on a search for your true mate? Crossing the entire country?” I fought to hide my smile when they both looked up and nodded, stars in their eyes. “I hope you find her soon. I recommend you wear shoes.”
Ida’s eyes narrowed on Julian, then on me. I knew she was remembering my feet when she’d found me all those years ago.
Bo answered, “Thank you, ma’am. But I’m hopin’ not soon—not too soon, anyhow. We ain’t growed into fine enough upstanders to deserve her, Alpha Brand said. We’re on a sort of quest thing to learn all about the old ways, and the history of our shifters.”
“And get better at huntin’ and trackin’, and even math and readin’, even though I’m truly shit at that, ma’am—”
“And maybe by the time we lay eyes on our true mate, she won’t take one look at us and make a flower arrangement out of our guts or something.” Bo took a breath, panting from talking so fast. “Because if she’s at Western, like Alpha Brand thinks, she’s most likely a witch and can do such things.”
“Who even knows what she can do.” Leroy smiled, staring into the distance, like he was imagining his future mate casting spells.
Julian sighed. “I wish Brand hadn’t said a word about her. You two are ridiculous.”
Ridiculous for being excited about finding their true mate? About chasing the dream of her across the country? Suddenly, I didn’t want to be close to Julian.
I pulled away and held out my hand to Bo. “If you feel you must make restitution for accidentally hurting me, then come on. I have firewood to chop, laundry to hang out, and some spots in the cabin walls that could use re-plastering.” Turning my back on Julian, I led the boy toward my home. “And just for the record, I don’t find it ridiculous at all that you would go hunting for your true mate. I find it romantic, and I’m sure she will, too.”
Behind me, I heard a low whistle from Leroy, then Ida’s whispered, “I think I found the worst fool in this group.”
Chapter 10
Zinnia
“Let me check on that wound, sweet girl,” Ida demanded as soon as the cabin door shut behind us. The boys were right outside, working on the list of chores I’d given them. Julian had gone to gather more firewood right after Ida had torn invisible strips out of him. I didn’t have the best hearing for a shifter, since my wolf had faded, but I was pretty sure she’d intended for me to hear her dressing him down for his behavior toward the boys and me as I escorted them to my home.
“It’s fine,” I protested as she swatted my hands away and pulled me down on the bed.
She tutted and cleaned the wound again, using a tincture I’d made of dried yarrow a few weeks before. “The cabin looks good,” she commented, nodding at the quilts on the walls. “Smells a bit like—”
“I know. It’s spring cleaning time.”
She murmured about the best ways to clean quilts, and I was glad for the distraction. When I’d first moved into the abandoned hunting cabin, there had been nothing but the pine log bed, table, and chair, gifts from the Mountain pack.
Over the years, I’d decorated the interior with hand-sewn quilts and braided rugs to make it cozy and inviting, though the only visitors I’d had were the kind that came with feathers, fur, or scales.
As Ida worked on my wound, I gazed at the dried wildflowers and drying herbs that hung in bundles alongside my pots and pans near the cooking stove, and tried to think of what else needed doing before the late spring rains came in earnest. The river that wound along the bottom of the valley below my home would swell with floodwaters, and I needed to gather the young wild onions and garlic that grew there before then.
Does Julian like garlic?
I shoved the thought away. There would be mushrooms ready to harvest on the fallen trees, to add to the harvest from my garden.
Does he like mushrooms?
Damnit, I was the fool. An old fool with no wolf, no sense, and three worn-out dresses that made me look like a grandmother on laundry day.
Ida finished before I could figure out how to kick myself in the ass for caring what Julian thought or did. “This wound may be fine—though it’s not quite as healed as I’d like to see. But the deeper wound is what worries me.” We both went quiet, until she sighed. “I didn’t know it was him when I brought him here, the reason you showed up bleeding at our borders all those years ago. If I’d known, Zinnia—if you’d told anyone…” Her expression held real hurt, and I knew I had to explain.
“Told you that my true mate met me, that we touched, and he threatened to kill me?” She gasped, and I took a calming breath. She sat down slowly, listening intently as I told her the old, painful story. I tried to make it fair, to include the parts I’d only just discovered, about why Julian hadn’t known me. She’d earned the truth, though, and the tale was ugly. She was one of the only shifters who knew just how close to death I’d been after his rejection.
“My heart is breaking for you both,” she said at last. “He never knew you, and you both suffered for so long.” Her hands were on my head, and I realized at some point I’d curled up, my head on her lap, my cheeks wet with tears. “So much time lost. But, Zinnia… this may be your chance to make it right. If you can forgive him?” I nodded once. “Then why is he out there, and you in here? Why didn’t you claim him last night?”
I didn’t answer, and for once, Ida went quiet, waiting me out. “He didn’t claim me either.” I wasn’t proud of how it sounded, like I was sulking. Like my pride had been hurt, not just my heart. “He didn’t even ask.”
She stood and opened a window, letting a small breeze in. “I’m afraid he may have a little too much of the martyr in him. He fled his dishonorable pack, then spent the next twenty-five years trying to make up for their actions, their crimes. But I think he’s been paying the price for letting you go. That’s why he’s here, after all. One last journey before the end.”
