"Because I’m not." She might be allowing him to hold her hands, but her voice was still all thorns and no rose. "I’d like to get married someday, Tom. Have a family, all that."

  "Good."

  Lila’s creamy cheeks flushed. "I just meant—"

  "You’re no shark. They are, and you’re not."

  Lila smiled mischievously. "They were both rather predatory."

  Tom rolled his eyes. "You don’t have to tell me."

  She peered at him through the snow fringing her lashes. "I’m sure it’s not as nice as it might seem. Being chased like that, I mean."

  He noticed her shivering. The air had become much colder, and the snow was coming down faster. "Let’s get inside."

  Tom helped Lila into the Tahoe, then climbed in. She was right. Having women throw themselves at him had seemed great for a while, but had lost its luster lately. "When someone likes me or dislikes me because of the way I look.…" Tom voiced aloud for the first time thoughts he had barely realized he had. "I can’t really care about how they feel. Their opinion of me isn’t real."

  Lila bit her lip and appeared to think. "At least my relationships have been with people who like me. Really like me, I mean."

  Except for William, he knew she was thinking, but didn’t say. Again, he wanted to find the jerk and throttle him.

  "I was a lonely guy before you came along." He wanted to lighten the mood that had suddenly grown too serious. "I was shark bait."

  Lila gave him the look again. "That you are incredibly handsome helped, I’m sure."

  "The only person I want to think I’m handsome is you." He pretended to think. "And maybe my mother."

  "Well good luck, sweetheart." Lila laughed. "I think you’re out of luck there."

  Tom grinned. "Then you’ll just have to stay with me all the time so you can help me fend off all those man-hungry women."

  "Maybe we can get you one of those cages like on Underwater Kingdom."

  She linked her fingers with his. He suddenly noticed how cold the air in the truck had turned with the snow coming down so quickly. The roads were going to be dangerous if they didn’t leave soon.

  "I’m sorry it bothers you so much." He buckled his seatbelt and heard her buckle hers.

  Once again, Lila didn’t need to ask him to explain himself. He saw by the way her fingers played restlessly with her seatbelt that she knew exactly what he meant.

  She sighed. "It does bother me. But I guess it’s something I’ll have to get used to."

  "If I could change things, I would."

  "Don’t say that." In the green glow from the dashboard her eyes were luminously, eerily lovely. "Don’t ever wish to change who you are. I like everything about you just the way it is."

  It was only as he put the truck into gear and drove into the snow Tom realized one thing. She had said "like." He’d told her he loved her, and Lila hadn’t said it back.

  In her own bed, sleep evaded Lila. She turned onto her side and grumbled when her nightgown tangled around her legs. The moment after she become comfortable in the new position, she suddenly felt too hot and had to toss off the covers. Moments after that, of course, she got the chills and had to wrestle the comforter back on.

  It was because she was alone. The bed seemed too big and too empty. She missed Tom.

  "Damn."

  He’d said he loved her, and like an idiot, she had said nothing in return. Love! Tom Caine had said he loved her, Lila Lazin.

  She had no doubt he meant it. Though the physical time they had known each other was short, the emotional time was much longer. Two people couldn’t talk for hours every night without learning something about each other.

  But did she love him? What wasn’t there to love? She’d already established that he was handsome. A successful businessman. Kind, generous, and compassionate. He had a wonderfully witty and weird sense of humor. That they had nothing in common didn’t seem important any more; taste in soft drinks and reading material didn’t count for much in the long run. What really mattered was how they connected.

  But love? Lila had only been wildly in love once—with William. Though the thought made her cringe now, she had definitely loved the jerk. That he had been completely and totally unworthy of even her lowest affections she had no doubt now, but at the time he’d been like a gift from heaven.

  If she could tell William Darcy she loved him, what in the world had held her back from telling Tom? Fear? Probably. Definitely. Love had a funny way of showing up when you least expected it. She wasn’t afraid he was going to turn out to be another William. Nor was she afraid Tom was merely filling her head with pretty words to get her into bed.

  She was afraid that what had happened in the mall would always happen. How could she stand up to that? Constantly standing aside while beautiful women made passes at Tom? Whether he responded or not, it didn’t really matter. The sharks would keep circling as long as he was in the water.

  She needed to talk to someone. It was well after midnight. Rivka would either be asleep or busy with Mick. The last thing Lila wanted to do was interrupt either her sister’s sleep…or other activities.

  Instead, she dialed Darren’s number. The phone rang twice before someone answered. She didn’t recognize the voice.

  "Darren?" she ventured anyway.

  "This is Lance," the male voice on the line said. "Who’s this?"

  She heard herself stutter. "This…this is Lila."

  "Boss lady!" Lance had a deep, rumbling voice that reminded Lila of a freight train. "Hang on, Lila, and I’ll get him for you."

  "Honey, what’s wrong?" Darren asked.

  "Nothing." Lila was suddenly embarrassed. What was she thinking, calling Darren so late? He had a life, too, one it sounded like she was interrupting.

  "You don’t call me at one a.m. to chat about the weather, honey. I know there’s a blizzard outside and all, but that ain’t exactly something I couldn’t figure out myself."

  "There’s a blizzard?"

  She had known it was snowing, but since she preferred sleeping in complete darkness, she’d drawn the blinds when she’d gone to bed. Now she sprung from beneath the covers and tugged up the window shade.

  "That’s what I said, honey. Me and Lance here were just lighting a fire and toasting some marshmallows."

  "At this time of night?" Lila asked dubiously.

  "Well, no one’s going to work tomorrow, Lila." From the background came Lance’s deep, rumbling laugh. "Weatherman said we’re going to get four feet at least."

  There was something so magical about a snow-covered world. The flakes were huge and soft, coating everything in a layer of white. She wished she could be sharing the snow and its magic with Tom, but they had agreed he wouldn’t stay over on weeknights. Too many tired mornings could wreak havoc on both their careers.

  "He told me he loved me." Once the words shot from her mouth, it was too late to take them back. Lila slammed the pillow and groaned.

  "He said he loved her!" Darren’s shout nearly burst her eardrum, and Lance whooped in the background. "Honey, I knew this guy was good for you!"

  "I didn’t say it back."

  "Oh." Silence. Then, not to her, "She didn’t say it back."

  "Why not?" She heard Lance’s fainter voice.

  "You heard the man. I know, ’cause that voice carries, honey. Why didn’t you tell Mr. Gorgeous the same thing?"

  "I don’t know." Lila sighed and scrubbed her face.

  "All you’ve done for the past two weeks is eat, sleep, and breathe that man. I know, ’cause I’ve been up to my ears with all the things that keep slipping your mind. Not that I’m complaining, Lila, ’cause you know I’d do anything for you. Just remember this when raise time comes around, that’s all."

  "Have I been that bad?" Lila wriggled in embarrassment.

  "Honey, I haven’t seen anyone smile so much since the time my Aunt Nita spent the night with Lefty and Righty, the Samson twins."

  "I don’t think I want to hear the rest of that story." That was a picture she definitely did not want in her mental photo album. "Thanks anyway, Darren."

  He laughed. "Lila, this guy isn’t William Darcy."

  "I know."

  "So what’s holding you back?" Darren paused. "Are you afraid?"

  "I think so." Lila let the shade fall down and crawled back into bed. "He is different from William, Darren, and I think that’s what I’m afraid of. That he won’t leave me."

  "Why is that a problem?"

  She related all that had happened at the mall and how she’d felt. How watching women flirt with Tom day after day might wear her down. That even though he might not leave her, she might have to leave him because she couldn’t face comparing herself to all those women.

  "Do you think he’s comparing you, Lila?"

  "That’s the thing." Lila twirled the phone cord. "He says no, and I believe him. He says he thinks I’m beautiful."

  "But you don’t think so."

  Lila gave a flat reply. "Rivka is beautiful. The redhead at the mall is beautiful. The hostess at The Foxfire is beautiful."

  "And so are you." She could just imagine his expression. "Lila, honey, you may not be RuPaul, but you’ve got all the right pieces in all the right places."

  "Thanks, I think."

  "It’s not the color of your eyes or what’s in your bra that made him fall for you. It’s what’s inside you, honey. And if you don’t love what’s in your own self, how can you love what’s in anybody else’s?"

  "How do I know if I love him or not?" Lila waited for an answer.

  Darren snorted. "What am I, your fairy godfather? You just know."

  She sighed. "I really ought to start paying you more."

  "Overtime, honey," Darren said. "Overtime."

  Chapter 7

  "What am I going to do?" Rivka shrieked so loudly Lila had to hold the phone away from her ear. "Everything’s snowed in! My paintings are stuck someplace in Pittsburgh, Lila, and the opening’s in three weeks!"

  "Calm down." Lila tried to be as soothing as she could with Tom’s tongue tracing erotic designs on her stomach. "We still have time."

  "Time!" Rivka was really rolling now. "This damn snow will be here until Memorial Day!"

  Lila stopped Tom’s fingers just before they unbuttoned the last button of her blouse. It was difficult enough to think of ways to calm her frantic sister without him distracting her. Tom grinned as if he knew what she was thinking and mouthed, "Get off the phone."

  "Lila, are you listening to me?" Rivka let out a wail. "This is a disaster!"

  "Oh, Rivka." It was hard to be concerned about Rivka’s histrionics when Lila herself felt so darned great. Having Tom come over on his cross-country skis had seemed like a crazy idea when he’d mentioned it before; now she was happy he’d been crazy enough to do it. "The price of kumquats, now that’s a disaster. This snow is just a glitch."

  Even Tom could hear Rivka’s response. Wincing, Lila held the phone away from her ear. Tom laughed.

  "Who’s that with you?" Rivka paused. "Lila?"

  "We’ve been caught," Lila whispered, punching him lightly. Then, to Rivka, "It’s Tom."

  For once, Lila was glad to hear she’d shocked her sister into silence. Tom began his quest to reach her underwear again. She pushed his hand away firmly. Tom didn’t seem deterred.

  "Tom Caine?"

  "Yes." Lila giggled as the man-in-question’s lips found a particularly ticklish spot. "The one and only."

  "He’s at your house."

  "Yes, he’s here to talk about…the menu for the gallery opening." Lila knew her sister wouldn’t settle for that answer.

  "How did he get there? There must be four feet of snow outside! Everything’s shut down!"

  "He…skied." Lila struggled not to laugh, though Tom had continued his ticklish quest.

  "He skied?"

  At least Rivka wasn’t shrieking any more. This new tidbit of information about Lila’s private life had temporarily distracted her from her own problems.

  "Yes, on his cross-country skis." Lila was being deliberately obtuse.

  "He skied through a blizzard to talk about menu options for my opening." Rivka’s voice clearly stated she didn’t even believe it herself.

  "And some other things." Lila couldn’t resist teasing her sister. Actually, she was happy Rivka had discovered the truth about Tom. Her sister, while overbearing, would be ecstatic for her.

  "Lila-love." Rivka’s voice was filled with admiration. "Is there something you should be telling your big sister?"

  Tom grabbed the phone away from Lila, playfully holding it up so high she couldn’t reach it. "Didn’t your sister tell you she’s in love with me?"

  Lila couldn’t hear Rivka’s response. Her face had become an oven anyway. She hadn’t told him yet herself, but she couldn’t find it within herself to get angry at his audacity.

  "Since your showing," Tom was saying. "Yeah, I thought so, too, but I won her over."

  Then he was soothing Rivka in a way Lila never could. Somehow, he just knew all the right words to settle the artist’s fears about her upcoming opening. Within five minutes, Tom had hung up the phone.

  "I told her the food is completely under control." He pulled her into the crook of his arm. "I said we were planning on cooking all day."

  "She knew you weren’t referring to the kind of cooking one does in the kitchen, I presume." Lila snuggled in close.

  "Of course."

  They sat in comfortable silence for a time. The fire crackled, the sofa was soft, and the snow falling outside the picture window was soothing. Lila, who hadn’t had much sleep the night before, began to doze in the warmth and serenity of Tom’s embrace.

  "You don’t mind what I said to your sister, do you?"

  Lila’s heart thumped. "No."

  "Because it seemed pretty presumptuous of me, after I thought about it. I mean, since I don’t even know if it’s true."

  Now her heart thumped even more fiercely, and her palms began sweating a little. The fire, which had seemed pleasantly cozy before, now felt more like an inferno. She licked lips gone suddenly dry. "I love being with you."

  Say it! her mind screamed. Nothing could be more perfect than this moment. The fire, the snow, every detail made for a romantic scene. Yet, somehow, the words wouldn’t come.

  "I love being with you." Tom linked his fingers through hers in a gesture so natural it made her smile. "But that’s not necessarily the same thing, is it?"

  "No."

  They sat in silence for a few more moments, hands linked. Content to feel the thump of his heart against her cheek, Lila laid her head on his chest.

  "I don’t want to pressure you, Lila." Tom pressed a kiss to her temple. "I don’t want to do that at all."

  She twisted to look up at him. The sun was too bright for the firelight to be anything more than a hint reflected in his gorgeous hazel eyes. In any light, though, he was still the handsomest man she’d ever seen. His looks no longer bothered her.

  "You’re not. I’ve been thinking a lot, since last night."

  He brushed his fingers through her hair. "Good things, I hope."

  "Very good." At once, it seemed very important that she reach up to kiss him. Lila pressed her lips first to his forehead, then each of his eyes, and finally his mouth. She lingered there for a long moment, feeling the softness of his lips beneath hers. The kiss was sweet, gentle, but with the undertone of desire she had come to recognize so well. And yet, when it came right down to saying what she needed to…she couldn’t.

  Fear froze her tongue and closed her throat. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but the memory of William’s face kept her from speaking. Instead, she kissed him again.

  "What was that for?" His tone was pleased.

  "Because you’re a big goofball."

  Tom sat back on the sofa, arms behind his head and rolled his eyes. "Nice. Always dreamed of a woman calling me that. You’ve just made my dreams come true."

  She tilted her head as she reached out to push away the long bangs from his eyes. "You’re crazy, you know that?"

  He captured her hand. "Crazy for you."

  She moved forward and kissed his mouth, then pulled back enough to look into his compelling hazel eyes. "I think my furnace is on the blink. It’s a little chilly in here. Any ideas about how I could get warmed up?"

  Tom curled his arm around her neck. "I think I could arrange something."

  "Another thing I like about you," Lila told him. "You’re very resourceful."

  He waggled his inky eyebrows at her, then quirked one and put on a fake, posh accent. "Indubitably."

  That made her laugh. She put his hand on her breast and curled the fingers around her already taut nipple. "Let’s get make out and watch old movies."

  "Make out?" He looked like he was pretending to think. "With you? I don’t know, Lila. That’s awfully presumptuous of you."

  She knew him well enough by now to have been prepared for a smartass reply, and she greeted it promptly with a pillow to the head. He ducked and yelped, then grabbed the pillow from her and threatened her with it. He didn’t hit her, though, just held it up before tossing it unceremoniously to the floor and gathering her in his arms.

  His tongue parted her lips and she giggled, then relaxed into his embrace. His mouth moved over hers with sweet perfection, fitting with her lips the same way he fit her body. Like they’d been made for each other.

  "Lila."

  She blinked. "Yes, Tom." He sighed and brushed a kiss along her cheek before finding her lips again. "You think I’m a big dork, don’t you?"

  "Of course not!" Shocked, she sat back and searched his face for signs he was joking again. "Are you serious?"

  Tom only stared before nodding. "You expect me to be more…suave. Don’t you?"

  Actually, she found his lack of ego endearing and charming, as well as flattering. She shook her head. "No, Tom. I don’t think you’re a dork."

 

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