South Beach Bodyguards: Three Book Collection, page 44
This way I could almost imagine that we had fast-forwarded into the future and this was real. Miranda as my wife.
Then I shoved the thought away. That was stupid, allowing myself a fantasy. It didn’t matter what happened tomorrow, six months from now, a year down the line. What mattered was right here, right now. So I shifted so that I rose overtop of her and I kissed her soft lips. I allowed my eyes to drift closed and I committed this to memory. The feel of her lithe fingers on my back, her breasts brushing my chest. Her feet sliding along the backs of my calves. The smell of her skin, like chlorine and flowers, the musk of her arousal. The view of her raspberry lips, her amber eyes shining with desire, and something else. A tenderness. She cared about me. That was never in question.
I felt as in the moment as it was possible and as I kissed her, I drank in all those sensations and appreciated each and every second of her. Her tongue tangled with mine hotly and she grew restless, shifting her legs, arching her hips so that she repeatedly bumped against my cock. Still I did nothing more. I just kissed and kissed, like we were sixteen and there was no other end game besides making out. My body started to burn and I tossed the blanket on the floor, our passion heating up between us.
When I pushed inside her, I never wanted to leave.
She was going to have to kick me out.
When I came staring up at Alejandro, moving over me slowly and with amazing skill and strength, I felt something inside me shatter. He had taken me rough, fast, hard, and now tenderly. I couldn’t protect myself from any of it. I couldn’t protect myself from him.
I was being dragged under by the current and even while I knew I could drown, I didn’t even try to escape. I wanted Alejandro to pull me under and make me forget everything that ever was and ever would be. I wanted to let go of the past and embrace the here and now.
His eyes were dark as night and his expression was fierce, yet sweet. That was Alejandro. Sweet but fierce. Which to me, was the perfect man.
My back arched as I gave in and let him milk the deepest shattering pleasure from me.
His hand slid under my ass and he raised me up so that he could take me deeper, until I wasn’t sure where he ended and I began. Until I was on the verge of losing myself entirely in his overwhelming passion.
Until I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I don’t know why. Or where it came from. I only knew that an earthquake had shifted the ground beneath my feet.
“Oh my God, don’t cry,” he murmured, bending down to kiss the droplet away. “Should I stop?”
“No. Never.” I shook my head and gripped him tighter, wanting to keep him inside me.
“Never,” he agreed.
He exploded inside me, and then he stared down at me, breathing hard.
We fell asleep in each other’s arms, bodies still connected in the most primal way possible.
The next night I hummed in the kitchen of my rental as I unpacked, making serious headway on the boxes. Because I wanted to start cooking, exploring new recipes, and working on my knife skills before school started, it was important to me to get this room together first. Alejandro was installing a security system and I paused when I saw him move past my sight line. It brought a smile to my face.
He was very sweet and very, very sexy. He noticed me watching him and he gave me a wink. Damn it, I blushed. Like a teen girl. But I couldn’t prevent the heat from blooming across my cheeks. The night before had been so damn hot. The things he had done to me… I had the sore body to prove it. But I was sore in the best, most satisfied way possible.
The house felt hopeful again to me in daylight. I felt like maybe I had been paranoid the night before, too quick to be concerned. Max the cat was lying on an unopened box, grooming himself with supreme nonchalance.
Maybe the man next door was just weird. There were plenty of odd characters in Miami. It didn’t mean he was malicious in any way. And plenty of cats were named Max. That was just pure coincidence.
Once I was done unpacking my kitchen I was going to run to Publix and stock up on food. I was feeling the very instinctive and feminine need to feed Alejandro. I also needed to get cat food.
Alejandro had some sort of electronic equipment in his hand but he took the few steps toward me and gave me a soft kiss. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I had a saucepan in my hand so I couldn’t wrap my arms around his neck the way I wanted to. “Everything going okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Max jumped from the box to the counter and meowed, rubbing against my arm. “I think he’s jealous of you.”
“He should be.” Even as he said it though Alejandro reached out and scratched the cat’s head and ears. “Shouldn’t you try to figure out who this guy belongs to? We can’t just keep him.”
The use of the term “we” both terrified and thrilled me. I didn’t think he had even realized he’d used it, or that he actually meant anything by it. But all I knew that eighteen hours ago I hadn’t known what I knew now—that there could be a we if I allowed it. I knew the second my eyes had opened that morning, Alejandro warm and rock solid and sexy beside me, that thirty days was his way of making his case. That he wanted to be with me. And that it was my decision. One word and this could be real life.
Me and Alejandro, a home, a cat, a baby.
It made me feel almost faint.
I wasn’t even sure why it scared me so much.
Maybe it was because I had unfinished business with his brother and I didn’t know how to fix that.
I also had secrets Alejandro wouldn’t like.
So I had to stay strong. I couldn’t tumble into a relationship. In to love.
“We did try to find his owner. We called the number on his collar. What else are we supposed to do?”
“Call the APL or something.”
I shrugged. “I guess, but I mean, it’s not my fault the information on his tag is wrong.”
“Don’t you care that someone might be looking for him, and is worried?”
“Sure. I have sympathy for anyone missing someone.” There was a hell of a lot of truth to that.
Alejandro realized the undertone and snorted, rolling his eyes. It shattered the mood.
“But like I said, what am I supposed to do?” I asked. I felt defensive about the cat. The way I did about Max.
Damn it, I hated the low-level tension that raced along the edges of everything we did and said. Max was the white elephant in the room and trying to have an intimate relationship with that ominous shadow over us was putting me on edge, even in the best moments. This was why I hadn’t wanted to have sex with Alejandro. This was why I had wanted him to go to the fertility clinic and keep it clinical, efficient.
This was messy.
But would I give it back now if I could? I seriously doubted it. There was something too electric between us. Too amazing.
There was a giant unspoken question between us but neither of us broke the silence with the words that would destroy everything. I knew what he was thinking, even though his expression was enigmatic. Would I be with Max if he reappeared?
It wasn’t a fair question to ask though and that’s why I was relieved he didn’t. I couldn’t answer that. Not when I didn’t know if it would ever be reality or not.
“What do you want for dinner?” I asked. “I’m going to go to the store.”
“You,” he said gruffly, running his hand down my cheek. “That’s all I want.”
“You’re going to get awfully hungry then,” I said lightly, trying to ease the tension thick between us.
Alejandro shook his head. “I’m already hungry. I’ve been starving for a decade.”
When he looked at me like that… arousal surged inside me, volcanic, urgent and hot and unexpected. “I want you to fuck me,” I said, the words bursting out before I even fully knew I was thinking them.
Sex made everything else go away. It was just him and me.
He didn’t answer me. He just took my shoulders and turned me quickly, shoving me against the wall. The movement spun my head and robbed me of breath. He had my sundress up around my stomach in a heartbeat and he tore off my panties by simply ripping the waistband so that they started a slow slide down my hips. Settling my calf on his hip he surged into me without a second wasted.
There against the ancient aqua tile of my retro kitchen he gave me what I wanted, over and over, a hard, fast pounding that overpowered all our wary side-stepping of unspoken truths. It was easier to focus on the ecstasy of the slick passage he took relentlessly. Our language was lust. We spoke with sex.
What was he telling me? I forced myself to keep my eyes open, to study his expression, his shuttered eyes.
His eyes spoke the words we never could—that I was his. That to him, I had always been his. And that by submitting to him, by taking the pleasure and the love he gave me, I owned that. Admitted I was his.
It was that thought that had me crying out, paired as it was with the deep thrust of his cock, lifting me up onto my toes with each push. I came hard, digging my nails into his shoulders, needing a grip. An anchor.
That was how it was with Alejandro. He destroyed me. But he was the one person in my life who would always be there to hold me up.
I could fall in love with him.
I wondered if I half had already.
He exploded inside me, his jaw clenched, expression fierce.
When he had slowed, he cupped my cheeks and kissed me. “What else do you need me to do for you today?” he asked softly, gently, like he hadn’t just taken me hard against the wall. As if he wasn’t even now still buried inside me, his warm seed tangling with my own moisture.
I shook my head, laughing breathlessly. “You’ve done plenty.”
“Give you a baby?”
My breath caught. “Not today.”
Alejandro seemed less than pleased with my answer. He pulled back, giving a sigh when our sticky bodies disengaged. “Let me know when you want it again. I’m here.”
His words seemed mocking, but his tone was easy, casual. Like he was offering me a taste of his dessert. You want another one? No? Are you sure?
He always had a way of throwing me off kilter.
“You sound like a waiter.”
Alejandro took another step back, adjusting his jeans. “I’m not a server. Or an employee. I’m your lover. I’m the man who loves you. You can do what you want with that, but don’t joke about it.”
My panties were around my ankles and my skirt was still bunched up around my hips. But I froze, shocked. “You’re the one blackmailing me.”
“You don’t want this?” he asked.
I shook my head, feeling defiant. He was blackmailing me. He’d given me an ultimatum.
“Liar.”
“Don’t call me a liar!” I couldn’t get those words out of my head. He was my lover. He was the man who loved me.
I wanted to just run and jump into his arms and throw caution to the wind and take that love and hold it close forever. But I was afraid.
Oh my God. I was afraid he would leave me. Just like Max had.
The thought made me catch my breath.
That was why I was holding back. That was why I was refusing to accept that the foundation of feelings for Alejandro could grow if I let them.
All these damn years of clinging to my relationship with Max was because I was afraid everyone was right. That he had left me.
“Maybe liar is the wrong way to put it. You’re just not honest with yourself,” he added.
Despite my revelation that still pissed me off. “What do you think my truth is?”
For some reason that made him grin. “That you want me.”
“That’s not something I’ve been dishonest about.” I simultaneously wanted to end this conversation and resolve it. We were circling something, only I didn’t know what. I shoved my skirt back down and stepped out of my ruined panties. I bent over and retrieved them to toss in the trash.
“You just shook your head a minute ago.”
I scooped Max the cat off the counter. I really needed to change his name to something less emotionally charged. I held him against my chest and raked my fingers through his soft orange fur. Feeling the cat purr grounded me. “Alejandro. Are we making a mistake?”
“About what?”
Raising my gaze, I met his head on. “Us. Because we are creating an us, aren’t we?”
His nostrils flared. “I’m trying to. But you have to tell me what you want. I’m going to ask you today and I’m going to ask you again in twenty-eight days. Other than that, I swear I won’t bring it up.”
The cat clawed at me to get down. I set him on the floor. I looked at Alejandro and I tried to listen to my heart. Not to my fear. Not to my ambitions to be a mother. But to my heart.
“What I want is you. And me. And a chance at a life together.”
It was out and I couldn’t take it back.
But he took me into his arms and murmured in my ear, “I love you.”
And everything made sense with his strong shoulders there for me to lean on.
eleven
“Sit down,” Mickey told me. He was smoking a cigarette at his desk, which surprised me. I had never seen him smoke inside his office. “Wester told me you were looking for intel on your girl’s rental. You could have come to me about that, you know.”
“I didn’t want to bother you.” I had mixed feelings about Mickey and I had since I had started working for him four years earlier. I knew that he and Ryan had issues and I knew that Mickey skirted the law, and downright ran over moral boundaries, but at the same time, he had always been good to me. He had believed in me when I had been adrift, no clue what to do with my life, frustrated with my family, and feeling like I had lost any sense of purpose.
Mickey was the kind of man who didn’t doubt himself. His confidence was boundless and that had served him well in business. He was also shrewd. So I trusted his assessment of any situation. “So we have a couple of things going on here.” Mickey took another drag on his cigarette and rocked back in his chair.
I sat across from him and I waited, restless, running my palms down my thighs. I wasn’t going to like whatever I was about to hear, I was convinced of it. “What’s up?”
“So the house is a dead end. It’s owned by some bullshit LLC that has only been around for two months and has no other transactions. I’m going to see who owns it but right now that information is hidden by a fake name that holds an additional LLC. So they have buried it a little, but there is always a way to get to the bottom of the hole.”
I nodded. That sounded actually worse than what I was expecting. It meant my suspicions were on point. Something was off in that house. “What’s your take on surveillance equipment being there?”
Mickey just shook his head. “No point in speculating.”
It was hard not to do just that. I couldn’t imagine what Miranda might be involved in. She hadn’t even been in town for years. So I didn’t think it had anything to do with her, which made it unnerving. I didn’t want her to be collateral damage for something shady she wasn’t even a part of. “So that’s it?” I asked, and I realized I sounded impatient, frustrated.
Mickey dropped his cigarette onto the tile of his office floor and twisted his boot into it. There was still a cloud of smoke lingering in front of his face and I was slightly bewildered as to what the hell was going on with him but I wasn’t stupid enough to ask.
“No, that’s not it.” Mickey shot me a wry look. “I found your brother. He’s living in Texas on the Mexican border, working at a hotel. His name is Miguel Gonzalez and he spends a great deal of time with a well-known drug gang. He also crosses the border daily, claiming to be a Mexican citizen with a day visa to work in the US.”
For a second, I wasn’t even sure how to feel. I had known Max was alive. I was completely convinced of it. Yet hearing confirmation of that didn’t give me the feeling of relief that I expected. I had thought that I would feel triumphant that Max was the manipulative piece of shit I had always known he was. Like hearing he was alive and just skipped would give me the proof I had always craved. All those years of everyone believing he was a charming guy and now I could say definitely that they were wrong.
Yet I just felt… flat. It didn’t matter if people had ever believed me. It wasn’t and had never been my job to go around warning everyone what an asshole Max was. His life was his to fuck up and the people he surrounded himself with now were most likely his evil counterparts. They didn’t need a warning from me.
But Miranda. There was Miranda.
A week ago I would have given anything for her to admit that Max was not all Mr. Nice Guy and she had, although reluctantly. But now? After a full week of spending time with her, of loving both her body and her spirit, freely, without guilt, the last thing in the fucking world I wanted was for her to be hurt. Even if that meant I wouldn’t be right.
“Any chance of him being on the move any time soon?”
“I doubt it. It looks like he’s been there almost four years. He seems entrenched and since he is playing an illegal, he doesn’t have much freedom of movement. He has to cross back over the border every night or lose his day visa.”
“Except that once in the US, he can assume his real identity at any point and no one will be able to do anything about it, or hell, even be able to prove he was living as Miguel Gonzalez. There are only about a million guys with that name.”
“That’s true. Was he wanted as Max Garcia?”
“No. If he was, the cops would have been at my door right away.” It didn’t make any sense to me why Max would ditch out on everything in order to live the life of a day laborer in Mexico and Texas. There was no heat on him in Miami that I knew of and if he wanted to tell Miranda and my parents to fuck off he could have. I seriously doubted that any sense of guilt would have sent him fleeing versus just being honest about his lack of interest in a further relationship. “Are you sure you have the right guy?”
Something was off. Max wasn’t known for being a hard worker.
