The Proposal, page 25
“We’ve slept together once. That’s hardly the start of a long term relationship.”
“Why the hell not? You’ve been heads-down together for nearly a month, spending almost every waking minute together. That’s more time than most married couples spend together. When Adam’s on rotation it feels like we go days without seeing each other.”
“Leo’s not my boyfriend. Hell, a couple days before we slept together he said we were barely friends, so me being the dumb-dumb I am, I decided to have hot, angry sex with him in the woods.” I squeezed the bridge of my nose, wishing the headache was brain freeze and not my own stupidity coming back to haunt me.
“That doesn’t sound like Leo.”
“How are you taking his side on this? You met him once.”
“It was twice. The night he carried you into your apartment, and then the next morning. He asked about your favorite foods and was so worried about leaving you at all. I offered to get breakfast for you, but he wanted to do it. I’m not taking sides, but that doesn’t sound like a hit-it-and-quit-it guy to me.”
“That was before we’d even slept together.” Instead it was when he’d brought me a cool wet washcloth while I prayed for death, carried me to my bed, and cleaned my apartment. Why did he have to be so damn charming and caring?
“Even better. He wasn’t even swayed by all your sweet, sweet loving then.”
“Who are you?” Was there a wacky neighbor handbook? If not, she needed to write one. Chapter 7 was offering advice with cringe-inducing phrases.
“Just Stella!” She poked her finger into her cheek and flung the other hand with her spoon out, recreating a freeze frame from her imaginary ’80s TV show.
I stabbed at my ice cream.
“You’re pissed, I get it, but maybe a part of that anger”—she ducked her head to catch my eye—“is because you’re upset he might be leaving?”
“It doesn’t bother me.” I tried to shrug it off, but even my shoulders didn’t want to cooperate with the farce. “I don’t care.”
“Yeah, you’re drowning your sorrows in cider and coffee ice cream because everything is one hundred percent fine.”
“Dairy is good for the bones.” I shoveled another spoonful of whipped cream and fudge into my mouth. “All we have is one more presentation and then things are finished.”
“Maybe, just maybe, think about talking to him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him why you’re upset.”
“I’m not upset.”
Talk about my feelings. I held back my shudder. That sounded like the absolute worst idea. I’d rather go up against a chainsaw-wielding horror movie villain than slide down that rabbit hole. Letting him know how much it hurt to hear he might be leaving made it more real. Then it wasn’t something in my head, it was a living breathing thing I’d have to deal with. I’d have to deal with my feelings for him and those were way scarier than anything I’d faced before.
34
Leo
The elevator door opened. I took a deep breath and entered the Easton Events offices.
A short woman with blondish hair stopped and backed up, eyes wide.
“Hello there.” She extended her hand.
“Hi. I’m looking for Zara Logan.”
The woman’s gaze narrowed and her bright smile dropped. “Zara? I don’t think she’s in, but I’m more than happy to help.”
Another woman stood up from the cubicle behind her. “She’s here. She’s been here all morning. I don’t think she’s left her office once. I can show you.” The woman came out to the hall. Her jeans, Star Wars sweater, and sneakers didn’t fit with the Easton Events look.
I liked her immediately.
“Thanks.” With a nod to the woman who’d tried to intercept me, I followed my Star Wars savior.
“Don’t mind Valerie. She was probably going to invite you into the supply closet to suck your dick or get you to bang her.”
I tripped over my feet, catching myself on the wall and staring back at my guide, wondering if everyone in this place was a little batshit crazy.
“Don’t worry. The supply closet is in the opposite direction. I’m not luring you into a trap. But I can certainly see why Zara’s been in a better mood lately.”
“That’s probably not because of me.”
“It is. Except for this morning. She came back as her normal cat-got-run-over-by-a-taxi self, so whatever you did…” She rounded on me and jabbed her finger into her chest. “Fix it. She’s my only friend around here, and I won’t have someone fucking with her head. Feel free to fuck other parts of her to your heart’s content—as long as you have her consent.”
I choked on my own spit.
The madwoman patted me on the chest and walked off, leaving me alone in the hallway.
Dragging myself from the depths of my stunned brain wipe, I checked the nameplate outside the office she’d abandoned me in front of.
Zara’s name was printed on a cream piece of paper. I peered through the skinny window to the side of the door.
Inside, behind a stack of papers that reached mid-chest, she squeezed the bridge of her nose and refocused on her computer screen.
I moved out of sight to grab my phone and send off my back-up text. The heavy arsenal was needed at a time like this.
Stepping into the open doorway, I knocked on the door.
Zara’s head snapped up and she shot up from her chair. The look on her face transformed from startled anxiousness to bristling anger. “What are you doing here?”
The elevator dinged at the front of the office.
“I came to give you this.” I slipped the ring out of my pocket and held it out to her.
Her gaze bounced from me to the sparkling diamond glittering even in the dim light of her office. “You’re supposed to give it back to me on Friday.”
“You’re going to want it now.”
“Is this Zara’s office?” Kathleen’s voice broke through the simmering tension in the room.
Zara’s head whipped to the open doorway and the familiar voice getting closer with each step.
“What did you do?” she seethed.
“What I had to.”
She rounded her desk and snatched the ring from my fingers, shoving it on seconds before Kathleen appeared in her open doorway.
“Zara. There you are—and Leo. I wanted to invite you two to lunch, but Leo said the only way we could drag you away from your desk was to show up and surprise you.”
I could see the gears whirring behind Zara’s eyes. Leo’s been talking to Kathleen behind my back? This was supposed to be my Hail Mary, but it might end up being the nail in my coffin.
Zara brushed past me. “I’m glad you did. I’d love to go out to lunch with you, but why don’t we make it a girls’ lunch?” She linked her arm through Kathleen’s, leading the older woman toward the door.
Kathleen stopped in the doorway, keeping Zara from abandoning me in her office. “And leave poor Leo all on his own? I wouldn’t do that to you, especially when you’ve been working so hard that he barely gets to see you. You don’t have to protest too much with me—I know you’re dying for more time together. It will be my treat.”
The abandonment plan had crashed and burned hard.
I sent my silent thank you to Kathleen. “My treat. I don’t get to take two lovely ladies out for lunch every day.”
She blushed and swatted at my arm. “Such a charmer.”
Zara would need a full mouth of veneers from how hard she was gritting her teeth. What a charmer, indeed. I’d be lucky if she didn’t push me in front of traffic and use the sympathy to clean up with Kathleen.
The whole office was scrutinizing us as we walked out. The woman who’d accosted me when I arrived wore a scowl and a questioning look. No wonder Zara had always come to Simply Stark to work. This place was fish bowl central.
There were a few restaurants within a couple blocks of Zara’s office.
Four blocks wasn’t long enough. Once we sat down, the true challenge would begin—getting Zara to speak to me while not letting on to Kathleen that anything was up. It wasn’t my brightest idea, but if I had shown up on my own, a slammed and locked door would’ve been my only reception.
Maybe Kathleen would take a long time in the bathroom, giving Zara and me a chance to talk.
I rested my palm on the small of her back, loving how the curve of it fit my hand perfectly. My fingers brushed her elbow before we crossed the street, watching for insane bike messengers and taxis who seemed to be staging chariot races around the city. Before, I’d done it to irk Zara. Now I did it because I missed the chance to touch her.
Kathleen chattered on about all her plans for the next year, but I couldn’t stop watching Zara. Every time Kathleen looked back, I’d smile and nod like I’d been paying attention, but I couldn’t drag my focus away from Zara.
The swoop of her hair across her forehead before it was tucked behind her ear. The hug and fit of her skirt, teasing me with the legs she’d draped over mine while we’d slept.
The unpleasant way she hadn’t been distracted by having me so close, but was listening carefully to every word Kathleen was saying—or maybe she was just better at pretending than I was.
We beat the lunch rush and found a spot at a restaurant. I pulled out the seats for both of them and sat myself beside Zara even though she tried to force me into one across from her.
After the server took our orders, we settled into an uneasy silence. Zara maintained her plastic smile that didn’t reach her eyes and continued to exclude me from the conversation by redirecting everything back to Kathleen.
“The end of the year will be here soon. Have you two given any more thought to the big day?”
Zara sliced into her chicken. “We’re still taking it one day at a time. Life moves so quickly and we’re never sure what’s around the corner, so we’re holding off so we don’t get our hopes up.”
I toyed with my food. “But we also know sometimes surprises come up we can’t avoid and we have to be ready to change at a moment’s notice.”
“Change is fine as long as everyone is on the same page. If you’re not rowing the boat together, then no one goes anywhere. Or one person rows full steam ahead and the other person is stuck in a place they don’t want to be.” She set down her fork.
“I didn’t know the boat had more than one person on it. Everything up until this point has been about how this is absolutely a solo mission.” Any time I’d hinted at getting close, she put so much distance between us I couldn’t even think of what we could be, but now it wasn’t just about New York. It was about why she’s been the closed-off hard ass in the first place.
Kathleen cleared her throat, breaking up the not-so-stealthy argument. “I’m confused. Are you two planning a boat trip somewhere?”
Our heads snapped to Kathleen and we smiled wide.
Zara grabbed her drink. “It’s a mutual friend. They’re having some trouble and we’re not sure how to help.”
“Excuse me, ladies.” I got up, texting Hunter on the way to the bathroom. I hovered in the hallway as he helped me put my plans in motion. He was a magician. Sam could use someone like him to make things happen and win over clients. Had he ever not come through? Why hadn’t I thought of this before?
Because I hadn’t found a good enough reason to get over myself.
The expense would make things tight for the rest of the year, but I didn’t mind keeping close to home to give Zara something she needed. One thing I’d learned from my past mistakes was to do what I could for the people I cared about when I could. People I loved. That stopped me in my tracks three tables away from where the two of them were sitting and waiting for me.
I loved her. The prickly, surly, caring, infuriating, driven, talented, and beautiful woman who hated me.
Sitting back down in stunned silence, I tried to keep up with their conversation. We ordered dessert. Kathleen gushed about all her ideas for next year. The job was ours to lose. She also hinted at some big news that would change things for the better for us, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than Zara.
Outside, I draped my arm over her shoulder and we waved to Kathleen when she stepped into her taxi. The second the car disappeared from view, Zara shrugged my arm off her shoulder.
“I’ll email you the draft of the presentation I have so far. Let me know your notes and I’ll incorporate them.”
“We can work on it together, Gingersnap.”
She flinched like that word hurt her now. “No, we can’t. Bye, Leo.” She kept her gaze down, taking a half-step before committing to her escape.
My stomach pitched and knotted.
I stood outside the restaurant long after she was gone, trapped in my own head, trying to figure out what the hell I’d do if she couldn’t love me back.
35
Zara
I stared out my office window. At least I had a view, even if another building obstructed eighty percent of it. The lunch with Leo had been a mistake for sure, but he’d tried to use Kathleen against me. How was I supposed to push forward with everything when I couldn’t stop thinking about him? And while I was mooning over him, he was having conversations with Kathleen behind my back.
A voice broke into the back and forth in my head. “Zara, can I see you in my office?”
I jumped up from my chair.
Bill stood in the doorway. He never came to my office, he always sent Valerie to do his fetching. “Now.”
I scrambled, grabbing a notepad and pen off my desk. “Of course.”
He was gone before I stood back up.
Rushing down the hallway, I stepped into his office as he sat in his chair.
“Things went well with Winthorpe.”
“Yes, Bill. They’re going well. Kathleen came by today for lunch to discuss how much everyone enjoyed themselves.”
His head dipped slightly. “And Stark? Have you maneuvered your way into a more favorable position?”
“About that.” I stepped forward with my notepad crushed against my chest. “We’re working on a pitch to win more business than what Winthorpe is currently offering. With the relationship we’re building with Kathleen and an increased roster of events, it would be possible for both companies to work together to maximize profits.”
“Are you sure I don’t need to assign someone else to help?” He wrapped his fingers around his chin.
And steal my commission? “I have it handled. One hundred percent.”
“Don’t let me down, Zara.”
“I won’t. I promise.” Backing out of his office, I barely kept myself from whacking my notebook against my head. Why the hell had I done that? Under-promise and over-deliver had always been my motto, and here I was running my mouth to Bill about how I had this all locked down. Screwed, that’s exactly what I was.
My day went too quickly after lunch, the hurtling rollercoaster setting me down in my apartment alone. Stella’s words had rung in my ears the whole time Leo and I were sitting beside one another—pretending to be together, but never feeling further apart. When I’d shut down my computer and left, all the lights were off in the office. The last one to leave once again, only this time it felt way too early.
In the lobby, the slurred shout of my name made me wish I’d stayed upstairs longer, at least until she could’ve been poured into her taxi after the booze had been put on the company tab. The bar and grill connected to the lobby was quick and easy for business lunches and dinners for most people in the building. For Valerie, it was a convenient spot to get blitzed Monday through Friday without spending a dime.
“Leo Wilder’s your fiancé?”
I tucked my hand inside my coat. Why hadn’t I taken off the ring? “It’s late, Valerie, and I’d like to go home.”
“You badger my dad into giving you a raise and making you a full-time planner and you’re getting married to a pro football player.” She sipped from her martini glass, stumbling with each step.
“He’s retired. Can I go now?” I bit the inside of my cheek. Couldn’t one of her sloppy friends come out here and get her to buy them another round?
My escape was blocked when she got in front of me, more gin splattering on the floor between us, each of my steps matched by a wobbly one of her own.
“You think you’re so much better than me.”
I knew I was. Not because she worked for her dad’s company—plenty of people did—but because she lorded it over everyone and coasted on the hard work other people put in. Screwing others wasn’t a game I played even though I’d been on the receiving end multiple times—and not the pleasurable kind. I bit down so hard I tasted blood in my mouth.
“Go back to the bar.” I stared straight ahead, which only seemed to infuriate her more. People like her always wanted to provoke a reaction so they could play the victim. Fight or flight isn’t the only coping mechanism when facing down a threat. Scientists have also discovered freeze as a natural reaction like a deer in your headlights in the middle of a quiet country road at night. But I couldn’t blame this on instinct. This was me curling up into ball letting a drunk bear with claws out bat me around until they got bored. Survival took on a different form when the predator had a direct line to the guy writing my paychecks.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do. I’m running things here.”
A man with an earpiece walked out of the bar toward us. “Ma’am, we need you to step back into the restaurant.”
I took the momentary distraction to make my escape. But it didn’t stop is-this-Vegas Valerie from spewing even more vileness before being escorted back inside with her completely empty martini glass.
Work tomorrow would be a barrel of laughs. I gave it fifty-fifty odds that she remembered any of it. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d forgotten a conversation with me.
I opened the door to my apartment. My keys fell from my hand. The jingling clink was the only sound other than my gasp. It wasn’t dark and dim inside. There was light. Lamps, a coffee table, and a sofa. I stepped inside, covering my mouth with both hands.
