Fury, page 4
Wray shook his head and switched places with Braden on the leg press. Workouts were a part of the job for firefighters, and even when they were off duty, they could use the gym. It came in handy on days when your wife asked you to find a new place to live.
Braden stared at Wray while he lifted. The look on his face made Wray more than a little uncomfortable. They were getting back to the easy friendship they’d had forever, but Wray knew it would never be the same. Not after Braden was dragged into Wray’s mess.
Wray got in over his head with the gambling. He let it get out of hand. At first, it had been about earning a little extra money to help pay off some of their debts, but it quickly became more for him. He spiraled toward addiction and found himself unable to stop, even when he knew he was in far over his head. When the people in charge of the game offered to forgive his debts if he brought in a new player, Wray debated the choice. When they said they’d take out his debts on his family, Wray had no choice but to do as they said.
Braden didn’t like being a pawn, but he understood that Wray was doing what he could to protect his family. Stacey was far less understanding. Wray didn’t blame her.
“What’s going on with you today?” Braden asked.
Wray looked up at his friend and realized he’d been sitting on the machine without using it for a long minute. Wray jumped up and wiped it down, ignoring the question.
“Did something happen with Stacey?” Braden pressed. He didn’t meet Wray’s gaze, but Wray still felt the weight of it on him.
Wray sighed. Braden was his closest friend and the only one who knew everything about what happened. Braden was like a brother to Wray, and Braden’s siblings, especially his oldest sister Taylor, were like family.
“Stacey asked me to move out.”
“Whoa. Seriously? When?”
“This morning. After Taylor’s party Saturday night, the babysitter said Joey wouldn’t let her sit on the couch because it’s my bed. I think that was the last straw for Stacey.”
Braden’s brown brows shot up. “You didn’t say anything yesterday. I thought you were keeping everything from the boys.”
Wray nodded. “Apparently we weren’t doing as good of a job as we thought. Even Evan said something this morning about it. That I didn’t fix things with Stacey.”
“Called out by a three-year-old?”
“Yeah. Talk about a great parenting moment. But he’s right. I’ve been on the couch for months. Whenever I try to talk to Stacey, she’s not interested. So, I quit trying. Months ago. Nothing is going to get better if we don’t talk.”
“Want me to take the boys so you can talk?”
Wray sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t know if she’d even talk to me.”
“Well, if you want me to take them, I will. Where are you going to go?”
“I need to find a place. Never thought I’d be looking for an apartment at thirty-one. Especially alone.”
“Do you really need an apartment? Why don’t you stay with me?”
Wray shook his head. “She asked me to move out. She’s done. Moving in with you feels like hoping she’ll change her mind, and I’m kind of out of hope.”
“You’re completely out of hope? Because that’s not the man who made Stacey fall in love with him. Who didn’t give her the choice to say no. Who fell for her the night you met and decided she was yours forever.”
“I’m not sure if he still exists.”
“Then you better fucking find him. Because you have an amazing wife who is hurt. You hurt her. You broke her trust, and you made her doubt. You put your entire family in danger because you were selfish and stupid. You need to own up to that shit and grow a pair and get your wife back. Because I promise you, if you let her go, someone else is going to swoop in. Stacey is too good of a woman to go unnoticed and stay single.”
“What the fuck are you trying to tell me?” Wray growled at his soon-to-be-former best friend.
“I’m telling you, you’re an even bigger dumbass than I already thought you were if you walk away from your wife and kids. Do you know how many men would love to have what you have? Would love to come home to someone else?”
“So what, you’re going to make a move on my fucking wife when I move out?”
Braden rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot. I’d never go after Stacey. All I’m saying is if you still want to be married to her, you need to make sure she knows she’s the most important person in your world and you’ll do anything to keep her. If you don’t want to do that, be prepared for someone else to.”
Wray grumbled under his breath, but he knew Braden was right. Stacey was too perfect for other men to not notice her. Her curves and her brains and her devotion to their family were only some of the reasons Wray loved her. And instead of fixing what was wrong, he was acting like she’d wronged him by not immediately forgiving him. He was the fuck-up, and he needed to start going big or he was never going home again.
Wray spent the rest of his day trying to figure out ways to apologize to Stacey and win her back. The most important thing in her life was their family. But being a good father and husband wasn’t enough after the epic failure he was.
Wray picked up Evan first. He walked into the preschool and down the hallway, the noise of kids getting ready to leave echoing through the tiled space. Most of the time, Evan stayed for afternoon day care, but on days Wray was available, he always picked him up to have more time together. He hoped it was a good idea after the birthday party debacle.
“Daddy!” Evan shouted, running across the room to Wray. “You bringed the ice cream!”
Wray smiled and rubbed his son’s curly blond hair. “I did. I told you I would.”
“Tank you.”
“You’re welcome. How was the party?”
“It was great! Miss Stephie said it was her bestest bird-day party ever.”
“Well, I’m sure that’s because all of you are such amazing little people.”
“Yep. I tink so, too.”
Wray smothered his grin. “Should we get your stuff?”
“Yep,” Evan said. He skipped to where his backpack hung in the hallway. He zipped it up and threw it over his shoulder, then smiled up at Wray.
“Are you ready?”
“Yep.”
“Did you say goodbye and happy birthday to Miss Stephanie?”
He nodded, then walked to the door and shouted, “Bye, Miss Stephie! Happy Bird-day!”
“Thank you, Evan! See you tomorrow.” She waved at Wray to acknowledge she saw him, then turned back to the remaining students.
Evan trotted down the hallway, telling Wray all about what they did at preschool that day. He was still chattering when he was buckled into the car and they were on the way to Joey’s school.
Joey jumped in the car and buckled his harness. Wray checked that it looked good, then pulled into the flow of parents leaving the school.
“How was your day, Joey?”
“Good. Can I go over to Adam’s house this weekend?”
“I don’t know. We have to talk to Mommy.”
“What if she says no?”
“Then I guess you can’t go.”
“Why not?” Joey whined.
“Mommy hasn’t said no. Why are you getting upset about this?”
“Because I really want to go.”
“Okay, and we’ll talk to Mommy tonight.”
“Fine. What’s for dinner?”
Fucking hell, is he a teenager? Wray fought the urge to roll his eyes at his oldest. He’d gone from sweet little boy to temperamental teenager in the span of a year. Instead of a six-year-old, he was acting more than twice his age. With all the attitude that came with it.
“I don’t know yet. How about we figure that out when we get home so Mommy doesn’t have to worry about it?”
“I like when Mommy cooks,” Joey said.
“Me, too!” Evan agreed.
“I know, but Mommy needs a break sometimes. Daddy is going to cook tonight. How about pork chops on the grill?”
“I don’t like pork chops,” Joey declared.
“Neither do I.”
And so it continued. Everything Wray suggested was shot down by Joey, and Evan agreed with his brother. They made it home and into the house. Wray got them both to hang up their backpacks, take out lunchboxes, and start homework. With them involved, he looked through the fridge and freezer to find something he could cook for dinner. Something foolproof so he didn’t mess it up and give Stacey one more thing to have to deal with.
How hard could cooking dinner be?
The house was utter chaos when Stacey got home. She walked in the front door and seriously considered turning around and going right back out again.
But then Evan saw her and called out to her, and she knew she was trapped.
“Hi, honey,” she said, hanging her purse on the hook and covering it with her jacket. She continued into the kitchen and hugged him, sticky fingers and all. “How was your day?”
“It was awesome! Miss Stephie had a bird-day today,” Evan told her.
“I heard. It sounds like you had a great party.”
“Yep.”
“And you? How was your day, Joey?”
“It was fine. Can I go to Adam’s this weekend? He got a new video game, and he was telling me about it. Can I go?”
“Let me talk to his mom, okay? I just want to make sure you’re invited.”
“Fine,” he sulked.
Stacey lifted her gaze to Wray’s in time to see him roll his eyes. She raised a brow at him, and he gave her a sheepish look.
“It looks like you guys already took care of dinner. What are we having?”
“Macaroni and cheese!” Evan shouted.
“Mashed potatoes,” Joey said.
“And broccoli,” Wray added. “And I grilled pork chops. They didn’t want pork chops, but they were in the freezer and sounded good.”
Stacey rolled her lips in to avoid lashing out at him. He was doing her a favor by cooking dinner, so yelling at him wouldn’t help things. He didn’t know she was saving the pork chops for the weekend. He also didn’t know that she made a menu for dinners. Or that she had things planned out for weeks in advance.
Because he never bothered to ask. That was the way their lives worked. She took care of everything at home, and he got to be the fun parent who made macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes.
“I guess that works,” Stacey forced herself to say.
“I screwed something up, didn’t I?” Wray asked.
“It’s fine. I just need to rethink a few things.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to save you extra trouble. I figured you had a rough enough day today.”
Stacey glanced around the house and wondered what trouble he saved her from. As far as she could tell, the kitchen was a disaster, the living room looked like a tornado hit it, and the backyard had all the outside toys strewn everywhere. She was going to need to spend an hour cleaning before she could even consider relaxing.
“It’s fine.”
Wray tried to hold her gaze, but Stacey looked away. She focused on the boys like she’d been doing since Wray disappeared on her. Since she thought something happened to her husband and cried her eyes out for days, only to have him show up again and for her to then find out he owed tens of thousands of dollars to some shady men because he gambled away their life savings.
Stacey sat down at the table between her boys and asked more about their days. She took a bite of mac and cheese from Evan and mashed potatoes from Joey. When Wray set a full plate in front of her, she looked up at him and thanked him.
Then immediately turned back to the boys.
Wray hung around the edges while Stacey talked to Joey and Evan and made them laugh. She ate her dinner while they ate theirs, and when they were done, she was finished, too.
“All right boys,” Wray said before they’d even put their plates in the dishwasher. “Time to clean up the backyard.”
They grumbled for a second, but they followed Wray outside and the three of them cleaned up the yard. She watched from the kitchen window and smiled when Wray picked both boys up and threw them over his shoulders. He ran around the yard with them and collapsed into a pile with the boys on top of him near the playhouse.
The three of them laughed and played and managed to clean the backyard eventually. By the time they came in, Stacey had cleaned the kitchen and picked up the living room. And it was time for baths and bed.
Wray herded the boys upstairs and got both of them into the tub. Stacey sat on the couch and listened to them play and talk. Tears rolled down her cheeks when the three of them laughed, Wray’s deep laugh that lit up all her good parts, and the boys’ smaller laughs that sounded like mini versions of their father’s.
She never imagined she’d leave him. When she met Wray, she knew she’d never love another man the way she loved him. Acceptance was the hardest thing because she wanted to believe the man she fell in love with was still in there, but she couldn’t find him.
The rumble of footsteps down the stairs told Stacey the boys were ready for bed. They jumped on her and hugged her, then raced back up the stairs to Wray. That had always been their routine when he was home. He wanted as much of the day-to-day as possible since, when he was working at the fire station, he was gone for at least twenty-four hours.
Stacey stayed on the couch and listened for the quiet. The soft tones of Wray’s deep voice faded as he grew quieter with the story he read to them. She heard the creak of his footsteps as he carried Evan back to his own room. Then both doors closed quietly.
Stacey drew a breath and held it, waiting for Wray to come downstairs. She felt like she’d been fired from a job but had to finish the week in the office, even though she knew she wasn’t allowed to stay.
Or more accurately, she was the boss, and she’d fired Wray as her husband.
His footsteps on the stairs were solid and sure. Wray stopped at the bottom of the stairs and let out a heavy sigh.
It had been a long time since she waited for Wray to come downstairs after saying good night to the boys. Usually she snuck upstairs when he read, or hid in the kitchen until he was on the couch, then hurried past him with a hasty good night and hid in her room until morning to avoid talking to him.
But her conversation with Frannie echoed through her mind. She wouldn’t yell at him with the boys upstairs sleeping, but maybe she could try to talk to him. Get some of the things she wanted to say out in the open.
Stacey waited a minute for him to come around the edge of the couch and sit down, but he chose the chair on the other side of the room. Keeping his distance.
It stung like a tetanus shot. She watched him, wondering when he’d gotten older. She couldn’t remember the last time she looked at him and thought of him as a stranger, but in that moment, he was.
“Are you okay?” he asked gently, as though the words wouldn’t be allowed.
She supposed she deserved that since she yelled at him to stop asking her that question a month after the truth about his gambling came out. He asked her daily, sometimes multiple times a day, and she finally lost it and told him she wasn’t okay, she might never be okay, and she didn’t want him to ask if she was okay ever again.
Now, she sat on the couch that was his bed and stared over his shoulder at the wall.
“What’s going on, Stace?” Wray asked.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” she finally admitted.
He leaned forward in the chair and clasped his hands together. He didn’t respond, just hung his head.
“What you did… I hate that you put us at risk.”
“I didn’t know you would be until you were.”
“You also lied to me. For a long time. You said you were with Braden when you weren’t. Months and months of lies. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
Wray sighed and lifted his head. “No. Because you never told me.”
Her gaze snapped to his. She expected cockiness or a smirk, but he just looked back at her. He was being honest, which was far more than she’d been with him.
“I hated you when I found out,” she whispered. “I never thought I would hate you, but I did. It felt like you’d been cheating on me.”
“I never—” The pain in his dark eyes surprised her.
“Maybe not, but I don’t think that would have been worse. When you came back, I was so relieved. But when they told me what actually happened, why you were gone in the first place, I was so mad at you.”
“I never cheated on you. I never even thought about it. All those times… I know I fucked up, and if I could go back, I would.”
“I wish you could because then I wouldn’t feel this way. When I look at you, I don’t know how to feel. There’s a part of me that hates you, but I also still love you. And I don’t know what to do.”
Wray opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. He rolled his lips in and stayed silent for a long minute. “You’ve already decided. You asked me to move out.”
She nodded slowly. He was right. Asking him to move out was a painful choice, but it was a choice. She knew she couldn’t keep doing what they’d been doing. She wasn’t fighting for them to stay together, but neither was he. And if neither of them wanted their relationship to work, it was better if they stopped pretending it might.
“You’re right,” she said softly. “You’re right. I guess that’s it then.”
Wray nodded. “I guess so.”
5
Stacey had a light day the next day, so she went out for lunch and to drive around. She knew the police had gone over the area where Holly’s body was found, and that Marcus handled the case personally, but Stacey still wanted to go there. She needed to see for herself where Holly died.
The area of the city was mostly abandoned. There were a few old warehouses there, but nothing looked open. No cars were parked on the streets or close to any of the buildings.
Stacey parked and got out, wandering across the street to where Holly’s body was. The concrete sidewalk had been cleaned, but Stacey knew where she’d been thrown after she was dragged from her car. Right on the sidewalk in broad daylight. Whoever killed her knew the area was not heavily trafficked and knew they could attack her without being caught.
