Flee, page 17
“Yeah, I am. I haven’t touched you in hours.”
“You whispered in my ear, and you drove home, and you let me buy this car without trying to butt in and tell me how to do it. You’re showing me what a man I need looks like. The kind of man I should have in my life.”
“What are you trying to say, Dawn?” Gage parked in his driveway and turned off the car, letting the interior lights turn off while they sat there.
“I’m saying I like you a lot, Gage. And I’m trying really hard to go slow, but it doesn’t feel very slow to me right now.”
Gage studied her closely in the dim light from the streetlights. He had already memorized her face, her smell, the feel of her body against his. He’d already admitted to himself that he was going to have a hard time letting her go. “Then let’s stop pretending this is something different than what we both know it is.”
“What is it?”
“It’s two people figuring out if we’re more. Two people who might be falling in love. Who aren’t going to hold back anymore.”
Dawn’s eyes slid closed. Her lips lifted. She nodded, just slightly. “Okay.”
“Let’s go inside and take care of your other issue,” he said, letting his voice drop.
She shivered and opened the door.
Gage was about to break through his zipper by the time they got inside and reset the alarm. They kissed on their way inside, pulling at clothes while they climbed the stairs, and fell naked onto the bed two minutes after they got out of the vehicle.
“Gage,” she whispered.
He kissed her neck and down to her chest. She bowed up, pressing her body to his lips. Her hands went through his short hair. She tried to pull him back to her, but Gage was on a mission.
He nudged her thighs apart and settled himself between them. He kneeled on the floor and looked up at her, catching the look of lust in her eyes above the swell of her stomach. He lowered his head, inhaling the scent of her before he licked her from bottom to top.
“Oh, fuck,” she whispered, shoving a pillow under her head.
Gage groaned, loving her reaction almost as much as he loved her flavor. She rocked her hips gently, not holding back anything as he learned the way she liked to be tasted.
“So good,” she moaned when he licked her clit. Her body shook, the tremble telling him she was already on the edge, her earlier words absolute truth.
Gage pushed two fingers into her channel and focused his efforts on her clit. It wasn’t long before she was moving counter to his strokes and grunting her way through an orgasm that had Gage surging to his feet and needing to be inside her.
He grabbed a condom while Dawn came down from her high. He watched the flush work its way across her naked body while he rolled the condom on his engorged dick. He lined up between her legs and waited for her to meet his gaze.
“Are you ready, Dawn?”
She nodded, biting her lip when he brushed against her. She propped her feet on the edge of the bed and spread her thighs wide. She took all of him in one fast stroke. Her back bowed, her eyes fluttered closed, and her core tightened around him.
“Fuck,” Gage hissed.
“Yes. More,” she said with a whimper.
“You amaze me every day,” he said, starting the speech he gave her at dinner. “You are beautiful and kind. You are smart and generous. You love with your entire heart. You are so beyond worthy of all the good things coming to you. You impress me with the way you’ve jumped in and fought for something that’s only been yours a few weeks. You’re amazing, Dawn. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.” The word became a mantra that guided his thrusts.
She met his movements, her skin flushing and her breasts bouncing with each slap of their bodies together. He reached one hand between them and pressed on her clit while the other hand grabbed her breast and rolled her nipple between his fingers.
She let go, coming with a grunt and a scream and a string of praises for his talents.
“So good. Fuck. Gage. Yes. Oh, shit. Yes.”
Gage was so focused on her pleasure he forgot about his own. The orgasm that tore through him nearly sent him to his knees. He caught himself on the edge of the bed, his hands landing next to her hips just in time to keep him from falling.
“Fuck. Dawn,” he hissed. He groaned and shook as he came inside her.
She reached for him, trying to pull him down on top of her. It was awkward with their legs hanging off the bed, but Gage needed the reprieve and was happy to feel her sweaty body against his.
“Did that help?” he asked after a minute.
She giggled. “No. I think we need to do that again and again and again.”
“You’re a tough client. I think I’m going to have to dedicate more of my time to making sure you’re very, very happy.”
“Yes, please,” she said.
Gage laughed and kissed her. He’d never laughed or joked with a woman during sex. It was just one more thing that was different with Dawn.
And one more thing he liked.
Dawn let herself into Gage’s house the following afternoon with the key he gave her that morning. It was strange being there without him, but also freeing. She hadn’t been alone in more than a week, and with the knowledge that someone was watching the house, she felt like she was safe.
She spent the day with Tabitha again, working on finding the leaks that Trevor was using to steal from Davis Developments. It was a full day, but a good one. They found some new information. Information Dawn was quick to turn over to the police and the FBI.
Dawn set the alarm and carried her things upstairs. She wanted to take a quick shower before Gage got home. Tabitha showed her one of the job sites that afternoon, and Dawn felt grimy and gross from walking around in a dusty environment.
She turned on the water and went to the bedroom. She set her handbag on the dresser, then undressed, making sure she didn’t get dust all over the bedroom and bagging her clothes so they wouldn’t touch everything else. She rushed to the bathroom and stepped into the shower.
“Ahhh,” she moaned. The heat from the water felt good. Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash cleaned the day away. She indulged in an extra twenty minutes of hot water, knowing the tank would run out eventually but not willing to get out until she felt the first sign of cooling.
Dawn grabbed her towel and took time drying her skin. She wrapped her hair up in the towel and returned to the bedroom. She was still living out of her suitcase, still temporary, but she knew it had to be that way. They weren’t living together. Not for real. It was temporary. And when it became permanent, if it became permanent, it would be for the right reasons.
Dawn sat on the edge of the bed and pulled panties up her thighs. She dug out a soft tee and pulled it over her head. Her hand hit something solid.
“Lotion,” she said. She forgot she put the bottle in when she packed in a frantic haze the night she left her apartment.
She squirted a sizable dollop into her palm, then spread the lotion between her hands. She smeared it over her legs, rubbing it in.
“Little things.”
She added more and rubbed it into her arms and hands, then smoothed the last of it onto her feet. She felt good. Sexy and confident. It was amazing what something so small could do.
A door opened downstairs, and Dawn froze. She strained to listen, the faint beeping sound rising above the blood rushing through her ears. Someone was turning off the alarm.
Dawn stood quietly and reached for her handbag. She grabbed her phone from inside as footsteps, not quiet ones, started up the stairs.
“Dawn? It’s me,” Gage said, his voice getting closer.
Dawn exhaled her relief, her shoulders sagging. She stood to put her phone back in her bag.
Gage came around the corner and smiled, his gaze heating when he saw what she was wearing. “That’s one hell of a welcome home.”
Dawn chuckled. “Tabitha took me to one of the job sites today. We got a little dusty. I couldn’t resist the urge to jump in the shower as soon as I got here.”
Gage looked at his watch. “You must have been really fast.”
Dawn shrugged. “Not really. What do you mean?”
Gage loosened his tie and pulled it over his head. “I mean a part of me thought you’d still be with Savannah right now. How was she? Did you have a good visit?”
“Savannah?” Dawn squeaked. She sank to the bed.
Gage dropped to his knees in front of her. “What’s wrong? What happened? Is she okay?”
Dawn shook her head slowly. “I never picked her up. I completely forgot.”
18
Dawn grabbed her phone from her handbag. “Fuck. Twelve missed calls from Savannah.” She tapped Savannah’s name, grabbing her stuff and getting ready to go get her daughter.
A beep interrupted the call, and Dawn pulled the phone away from her ear.
“It’s Owen,” she said, mostly to herself, as she swapped calls. “Hey. I’m sorry. I’m on my way.”
“I already got her,” Owen said. “She asked me to call you when she saw you were calling her back.”
“Is she okay?” Dawn asked.
Owen laughed mirthlessly. “What do you think, Dawn? Her mother forgot about her.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I was at work, and my mind was on something, and the time went by, and I just completely forgot.”
“Is that what you want me to tell her?”
“No, Owen. I want to tell her. To apologize. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
He sighed heavily. A door closed on his end. “I’m trying, Dawn. I am constantly telling her to give you a chance. To let you back in. I know your life is a lot right now, but we were counting on you today. Savannah was counting on you. I was hesitant to ask you for help, but she said she wanted to call you.”
“I know. I messed up.”
“It’s more than that, Dawn. It’s everything. It’s not being there for her. It’s not showing her that you want her in your life.”
“I do!”
“I know. At least I believe you. But actions are different than words. She hasn’t been able to rely on you for a long time.”
“Here we go,” Dawn snarled.
“Don’t get defensive with me,” Owen said. The calm in his voice was enough to piss Dawn off.
“Don’t get all high and mighty with me. I fucked up, Owen. I got involved with someone who was horrible for me. I lost myself. I couldn’t handle things as well as you did when we split up, and I lost sight of everything. I’m not going to do that again.”
“But you are,” he said softly.
Dawn’s heart jumped. How did he know about Gage? No. It was different. Gage was different. “This is different.”
“Yeah, it’s money. It’s not even a man this time. You’re in over your head with this company and the money and everything else. I know you’re trying to see it as a good thing, but money amplifies who we are, Dawn. It doesn’t really change people, it just makes us more. And what I’m afraid of is you’re going to be more unreliable and more self-centered instead of a better parent.”
“That’s not fair,” Dawn whispered. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Shame burned her face. She wanted to be better. To be there for Savannah. And to prove to Owen that she wasn’t self-centered.
“I’m not going for fair here. I’m going for truth. I’m the one dealing with a hurt and heartbroken kid who thought her mom would be there for her.”
“I’m sure you’re pushing her hard to give me chances.”
“You have no idea how hard I push her, Dawn. No idea. But when things like this happen, when you don’t even call when you’re supposed to show up, and then you tell me you were working, what am I supposed to tell her?”
“That I messed up. That it won’t happen again.”
“Except I can’t promise her that. It’s happened too many times for me to think you’ve changed.”
“Give me another chance, Owen. Please.”
“It’s not up to me. It’s Savannah’s choice.”
Dawn sighed. Her throat tightened. She was losing her daughter. She’d made too many decisions that didn’t put Savannah first. And it was going to cost Dawn any chance she had at a relationship with her kid. “Okay.”
“I’ll try, Dawn. I can’t make any promises, though.”
“Thank you.”
“And Dawn?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not going to keep trying forever. I’ve never tried to keep her from you, and I never will, but I can’t be the only one fighting for the two of you to have a relationship. You need to fight for it, too. You need to show up. Come to a soccer game, or a lacrosse game. Text her. Ask how things are going. She needs to know you’re there, even when you’re not physically here.”
Dawn nodded. “I will. Thank you, Owen.”
“No promises, but I’ll let you know what she says.”
“Okay.”
“Have a good night, Dawn.”
“You, too.” Dawn hung up the phone and stared at the screen until it went dark. She messed up when she overdosed and almost killed herself with Savannah home, but this felt worse. She could accept that her drug use was part of her addiction, and that she could keep that under control as long as she stayed away, but this was completely on her. This was not paying attention to her kid. It was neglect, plain and simple.
“Are you okay?” Gage asked softly.
Dawn startled. She’d forgotten he was there. Listening to her life falling apart. “No.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he’s going to talk to her, but that I have to show up if I want a relationship with her.”
“You didn’t do it on purpose,” Gage defended.
Dawn shook her head. “It doesn’t matter to a teenager. I still did it. She thought she could count on me, and I let her down.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I have to!” She jumped up from the bed and paced the room, feeling caged in and trapped. An hour ago she felt safe there, with the security system and the cozy house she’d allowed herself to believe was a place she could belong.
But now, she knew it wasn’t any of that. It was just a place. A home that wasn’t hers. A place where she was still the same messed up person who let everyone down.
“What can I do to help you?” Gage asked.
Dawn shook her head. “I… I don’t know. This isn’t your problem.”
“No, but I care about you, Dawn. If it wasn’t for all of this with Robert, you would have had a normal day and a normal life and you wouldn’t be dealing with everything you’re dealing with.”
She laughed mirthlessly and shook her head. “None of that matters. I’m still the same messed up person I’ve always been. I’m not reliable, I’m not there for the people I love. I’ve chosen to do this. To run Davis Developments. But this is what I was worried about. Like Owen said, money makes us more of what we already are, and I’m not a good person.”
“Dawn—”
“You don’t know me! It’s been a month since we met. Even less than that since we started sleeping together. You don’t know what I’m like on a day-to-day basis. What life is like with me. You have no idea if I can ever be counted on. Newsflash! I can’t be. I’m a disaster. What kind of person forgets about their kid? Leaves their teenager stranded at school. How can I stand here and think I’m even a little bit decent? I’m not. And all I manage to do is prove that over and over again. And I keep hurting my kid in the process.”
Gage was silent through her rant. He stared at her, but he couldn’t refute her words. Because she was right. She wasn’t reliable. She wasn’t a good person. And he had no proof otherwise.
“I’m going to sleep in the other room tonight,” Dawn said. She snatched her things from where she’d tossed them over the last week, shoving everything into the suitcase she carried it all there in. She wanted to leave, to go for a drive or just get away, but she didn’t feel safe, and she knew Gage wasn’t likely to let her go alone when she was so upset.
She was stuck. Because she made choices that put her first. That did exactly what Owen accused her of. She was self-centered. She was just like every other rich person.
And she hated herself for it.
Gage watched Dawn walk down the hallway to the other bedroom. She closed the door softly, keeping her anger and pain locked inside.
He wanted to call her ex and rip the guy a new one, but it wouldn’t have fixed anything. The reality was Gage didn’t know Dawn. He saw what he wanted to see, what he thought Robert saw, and he decided that was who she was. But there’s more to a person than what they showed others.
Gage changed his clothes and went downstairs to fix dinner. He hoped Dawn would join him, but she never did. He knocked on her door and said there was food downstairs. All she said was, “Okay.” She never came out.
He left his door open when he went to bed, wanting to be there for her if she needed him, but she never left her room. She punished herself all night, thinking that was better.
Gage knew all about that. He’d done it enough when his mom died. He’d done it for years. At times, it was still something he indulged in. That soul-deep agony that never went away when you believed with your whole heart that you were the cause of someone else’s pain.
It was bullshit. And Gage wasn’t going to let Dawn wallow in it.
He got up early and showered with the door cracked so he would hear if she tried to sneak out while he was in the shower. He dressed and went to the kitchen to make breakfast, knowing the scent of coffee would draw her in.
When her door opened, Gage didn’t make a sound. He knew she believed he’d left for work, but he was determined to wait her out.
Dawn took a quick shower, then returned to her room before walking downstairs. She went for the front door, but he called out to her.
“I made breakfast.”
“Ahh! I thought you were gone.”
Gage waited until she walked into the kitchen to speak. “We need to talk.”
She tensed immediately. “Can we come up with a new phrase for when someone wants to deliver bad news? We need to talk are the four most ominous words in the English language when they’re strung together.”
