Still, page 3
“Your buddy asking what I was didn’t bother me,” I soothed.
“It bothered me,” he confessed, like I couldn’t already tell. “I mean, why does he even care? Why should anyone give a crap what anyone else is? Why is that even a question?”
He was sensitive about it for some reason, like maybe race had been an issue at some point in his life.
“Well, sometimes,” I teased, wanting the guy who couldn’t keep his hands off me back, “if you think someone is real pretty and the mix is doing it for you, you wanna know what it is.”
Slowly his smile returned.
I leaned up to kiss under his jaw. “’Fess up, Wainwright. You like dark meat, don’t ya.”
He clutched my hand tight, shivering. “I like you, as if it weren’t obvious.”
Jonathan caught us out on the sidewalk. He was very pale. “Since when?”
“Since when what?”
He pointed at our joined hands. “That, Walter. What the fuck?”
“I’m gay, Jon,” he declared. “You know that.”
“Yeah, but—”
“I told you,” he said, adamant. “So, now what?”
Jonathan stayed quiet a minute and came back with, “You split the bill. You never split the bill. You always buy.”
“I didn’t! I—”
“That was me,” I said coolly.
I was suddenly the focus of both men.
“He was taking me out,” I informed Jonathan. “Not you. Not your boys. Me. He paid for me and him. That’s all.”
I pulled free of Walter’s hand and headed to where he had parked the car.
“Sivan?”
Pivoting, I saw Walter and Jonathan, both surprised at my actions. “You need new friends, sweetheart,” I said flatly. “Come with me and I’ll get you some. But I won’t allow anyone to ever take advantage of you. It makes me bitchy.”
Jonathan opened his mouth to say something at the same time he reached for Walter’s shoulder. But his hand never connected. Walter had already started jogging down the sidewalk to reach me.
His face flushed with excitement as he grabbed the front of my leather jacket and yanked me forward against him.
“You swear? You’re gonna stick around?”
“I don’t know. I might get bored of you tomorrow. We’ll see.”
“Bored, huh?” He grinned wide as his phone again went off in the breast pocket of his topcoat. “You think so?”
“I don’t know, you seem quite dull.”
He bent and inhaled me, kissed me hard and deep like he owned me. I was wrapped tight around the man in seconds.
WE WENT to my place first to grab a change of clothes for me, and he marveled at my apartment, which doubled as a walk-in closet.
“I didn’t even see a bed!” He was aghast as we drove away from the Tenderloin and headed toward North Beach.
“I have a sleeping bag,” I said irritably.
“Ohmygod,” he went on. “Baby, that’s no way to live!”
“Don’t call me—”
“You should live with me.”
“After fucking you twice, I should live with you?”
“Yes!” he said, driving faster, like he was afraid the crappiness would rub off on him. “You so need me.”
“Besides crazy chemistry, what do we have?”
“The rest we can learn. The compatibility in bed is the hard part.”
“We haven’t even been in a bed yet!” I was indignant. “And great sex is the least important thing.”
“You thought it was great?”
“How old are you again?”
“Oh, you’re all pissed off now.” He leered. “I love it.”
“Walter, maybe this isn’t such a—”
“Your eyes are all dark and your face is all blotchy and your neck is covered in hickeys. People will think you got attacked by an octopus.”
“I—what?”
“You’re covered in marks.”
I was? “I am?”
“Stubble burn, you can see where I sucked and—”
“Stop.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “Come over here and get in my lap.”
“Let me out,” I said flatly.
He started laughing.
“I’m not kidding.”
“You’re so beautiful. I’m gonna put my hands all over you.”
I growled at him, which he found hysterical, and when we reached his place, a gorgeous Victorian row house, he drove up the steep incline around the back of the house to his garage.
I was in awe as I got out of the car to really take it all in. “This is all yours?”
“Yeah,” he answered as he got out as well, locking the door, making the alarm chirp. “The house was a gift from my folks right before they kicked me to the curb.”
It took me a second, because first off, I wasn’t listening closely, and then I wasn’t sure if I had heard correctly. “I’m sorry?”
He winced. “It’s a long story.”
“Tell me,” I said, resting against the car. “Do your parents know you’re gay?”
“Yes,” he quipped. “But that’s not why they disinherited me.”
I was floored. “I’ve never met anyone who was disinherited before. Is that what rich people call throwing you out on your ass?”
“Is that what happened to you?”
“Yeah, all my shit was in the front yard.”
“I’m sorry,” he said sadly, wounded for me.
“Well, that’s okay.” I smirked. “At least I wasn’t disinherited.”
“And disowned,” he added. “Don’t forget that one.”
“So when was this?”
“It was after I got my undergraduate degree.”
“And they what, threw you out the second you came home?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
I had to process. I thought rich people were supposed to be so progressive and understanding. “So, you told them you were gay, and they what, disowned you?”
“No, I explained to them that I was marrying Kelly Garcia.”
I was almost sick, as gobsmacked as I was, but I held it together and didn’t attack him or yell or freak completely out. “You’re married?”
“Was married,” he clarified calmly.
I absorbed was married, but it took a long minute.
“Are you all right?” It seemed like he was getting concerned.
I put on a happy face.
“Siv?”
“Okay.” It was a lot to digest, and I was confused. “Wait. Why the hell were you dis-everything’d if you got married?”
“Because she’s not white.”
I was floored. “You’re fucking with me.”
He shook his head.
“What is she?”
“Mexican.”
And that fast I understood why his friend’s question from earlier had been so offensive. “Your parents are such assholes that they cut you off because you married outside your race?”
“Yes.”
“Holy shit!”
He snorted out a laugh and came around the car to me.
“Jesus Christ, man, they’d have a heart attack if they ever met me. I’m Brazilian and French; they’d drop dead right there.”
He put a hand on each side of my neck, and when I lifted so I could see him, he bent and kissed me.
It was nice—he sighed as he did it, and then he rubbed his nose along mine as he pulled back. I could get used to the twinkling eyes, the laugh lines crinkling in the corner of them, and the dimples that popped when he smiled. The sensual curl of his lip was not to be forgotten either.
I put a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him to me. I kissed him until he had to shove me away for air.
“So how come you got the house?” I panted a few breaths later.
“Because the deal was they’d either pay for law school or buy me a house. I figured I could always take a second mortgage out on the house to pay for school, which would technically be the first mortgage for me since I wasn’t the one to pay for it to begin with.”
It made sense to me. “That’s kind of smart.”
“I have my moments.”
“Yeah? How many times did it take you to pass the bar?” I questioned pointedly.
He was very smug. “Passed on my first try as I knew I would.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said, sliding his thumb along the line of my jaw. “I always get what I want.”
My scowl conveyed what I thought of that high-handed statement.
“Oh, come on, confidence is hot.”
“Yeah, it is. Bragging, not so much.”
“That was bragging?”
I made a face to show him the yes.
“Are you sure?”
Slight nod.
He grunted. “Well, in case you thought I was rich, think again.”
“But you went to prep school with all those nozzles.”
“Yeah, well, that was my parents’ money, not mine.”
“At least you got a house out of it,” I said frankly, staring at his digs.
“You like it?”
“I do.”
“Well, then,” he said, smiling evilly. “Do come in, Mr. Fly. Don’t mind the web.”
“Funny,” I quipped, even though damn, but it was feeling that way. Beautiful man, beautiful home, safety, security, family….
Me being gay ended me and my own years ago. My father kicked and shoved me out the front door, and everything I owned in the world came flying out after me. I thought my mother would intervene, but she didn’t. The following day, she left town to visit her sister, and I hadn’t heard from her since. It was easier for my two brothers to forget about me than to have to pay for college themselves. I understood, but it had been hard to get over the betrayal when everything I had, everything I was promised—love, security, compassion—was gone.
It had been rough, working three jobs, going to school, living with three other guys simply to keep my head above water. But I’d done it and had come out on the other side a very different person than I might have been otherwise. I was stronger, and in a roundabout way, I owed that to my family. But for some reason, watching Walter Wainwright outside his home, the thought that he could be my shelter struck me. I wasn’t sure why—it made no sense—but really… he could be home, and I had discovered in myself a sudden desire to have one.
As we walked toward the house, I was going to say something, but a car rolled up the driveway and parked behind his, distracting me.
“Who’s that?”
“I think those are my ex’s folks. But that doesn’t make any sense.”
Doors flew open, and the woman who climbed out of the passenger side shrieked his name. The cry was sharp and ragged and full of pain.
“Nora?” He was visibly concerned as the woman and a younger man trotted toward him.
“Do you ever answer your goddamn phone?” the guy yelled.
“I should go,” I said, but Walter reached behind him and grabbed my hand. I was captured and held tight. It was obvious he wanted me to stay.
His skin was so warm, so real, and it grounded me. My flight reflex stilled, and I squeezed tight so he’d know I was there.
“What happened?” he asked.
“It’s Kelly….” The older woman was crying. “There was an accident.”
Walter didn’t say anything, only waited and listened.
“The kids are… it’s so funny.” She almost laughed, unhinged. “I would have been driving them over here to you tomorrow anyway.”
He let me go then and rushed to her, arms out, and she lunged at him, the sobbing starting immediately as she buried her face against his chest.
I had no idea what to do, and neither did the younger man standing there or the older one who had joined us from the car.
The three of us watched her cry all over Walter, and then it hit me, what she’d said.
Kids.
Walter had kids. Why did he have kids? He’d said he was married and divorced. He never mentioned kids. What the hell was going on?
After a long minute, Walter and Nora separated, and the older man moved forward and gave Walter a quick, hard hug.
“We should all go inside.”
The woman shook her head. “No, there’s so much to do. I need to go home; everyone is there.”
“I can be there too,” Walter offered. “You didn’t need to bring the kids—”
“You’ve been divorced for over a year, Walter. There’s no reason for you to be there, and the kids are better off away from all of it. You and Kelly did such a good job making homes for them in both places—they’ll wake up tomorrow morning and not even know anything’s wrong.”
“Okay.”
“You and Kelly were always such good friends. You worked together so well.”
“Yes, we did,” Walter said hoarsely.
“Sorry.” The younger man muttered out the apology, interrupting the conversation, needing, it seemed, to be included. He moved forward into Walter’s personal space. “I didn’t mean to yell at you or—”
“It’s fine,” Walter soothed, cupping his cheek.
“They’re all yours now,” she said as Walter released who I assumed was her son, Kelly’s brother. “Joseph and Raymond and I are leaving for Atlanta next week, and with the move, we won’t even be here anymore, and—but you’ll bring them to visit me, won’t you? I mean, you will, won’t you?”
Her voice rose at the last, desperate and needy.
“Of course, Nora,” Walter promised, taking her back into his arms.
“We would stay and be here to help you and—but everything’s gone and the business won’t run itself and—”
“We’ll visit,” he swore, kissing her forehead, wiping away more tears with his thumbs. “You know we will.”
“She didn’t suffer.” Her voice was nasal with tears. “It was fast. The police said that she was hit crossing on a green.”
“Drunk driver?”
She nodded furiously. “Yes.”
“When did it happen?” His voice was fractured.
“This morning.”
He had been fooling around with me all day instead of answering his phone. I felt horrible.
“And when is the funeral?”
“Friday,” she answered.
It was Tuesday, so in three days he would bury his ex, the mother of his children. I needed to run.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in?” Walter repeated.
She shook her head. “We have a house full of people but I wanted to bring the kids here so I can break down without scaring them.”
“Okay.”
She lifted her hand to his cheek. “You’re a wonderful father. I’ve always thought so.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t a good husband.”
“You were that too. Kelly loved you.”
“It was the same for me, you know that.”
More furious nodding. “I do.”
He called to me then. “Baby, I need help.”
In front of everyone, I was baby. My knees wobbled.
“Please,” he added, almost desperate—I could hear the sorrow.
I moved fast, and when I got to the side of the car, the woman, Nora, offered me her hand.
“I’m Nora Garcia. And you are?”
“Sivan Cruz,” I replied softly. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
She nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. I had one of those travel-size packets of Kleenex, which I kept in my jacket for cleanup; I took it out and offered it to her.
“Oh, aren’t you just ready for anything.”
She had no idea.
“That should serve you well in this coming adventure.”
My coming what?
Kelly’s father gave me a watery smile, and her brother tried gallantly to come up with one for me. Nora patted my back as Walter opened the car door.
“That’s Declan,” she informed me. The little chestnut-haired boy was as cute as he could be with dimples I could see, a tiny upturned nose, and chubby cheeks. He was also completely passed out.
Gently, carefully, I got him free of the car seat and lifted him out and up into my arms. He wiggled and then settled, his face plastered against my neck, hot breath on my skin, little hand flat on my chest. He smelled good, clean, and he was warm.
I had a minute to marvel at how comfortable he was before orders were given.
“My name’s Ray,” the younger man said. “Put out your arm.”
As I did, he slung a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack onto it.
“I’ll bring all the rest of their stuff in,” Ray apprised Walter. “I packed what I could, and we’ll have the rest of it delivered tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he agreed, and when I came around the car, I saw the little girl in Walter’s arms.
She was an adorable little cherub, I was guessing maybe four or five, with copper-colored curls, a sweet heart-shaped face, and a tiny rosebud mouth. She was also awake, so I could see her big brown eyes.
“How are you, Chloe?” Walter inquired, rubbing her back as she clung to him. Clearly this was her father; they shared beautiful features, but even more, I could tell from the way she held on to him.
“Mommy went to heaven today and I won’t see her anymore,” Chloe said as she clutched at him, the tiny hands holding on for dear life.
“Yes.”
“Abuela said Mommy was in an accident.”
“Yes, she was, sweetheart.”
“You’re not going to heaven, are you?”
“Not anytime soon. I’m going to stay here and take care of you and Dec, okay?”
“Promise.”
“I promise. You’re gonna stay here all the time with me and Rugby now, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I think I can hear him barking now. Can you hear him?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Let’s go in.”
She put her head down on his shoulder with a hard thunk, and Walter sighed as Joseph passed him a My Little Pony backpack and then shut the door.
I was going to see if Walter needed the car seats, but then I figured he probably had his own. I had noticed an SUV parked in front of his house and now wondered if that was his, too, along with the car we’d been riding in.
