Fix It Up: Torus Intercession Book Three, page 20
He was staring into my eyes and gutting me with his words, his own eyes so soft, brimming with tears and adoration. “Then, honey, you should keep the––”
“I didn’t know how bad everything was until you created a home for me out of nothing, giving me a place to be.”
“Don’t you understand?” I replied softly. “I just pointed you in the right direction; you did all the hard work yourself.”
“But that’s the whole thing, right? Only for you would I have ever moved, changed course, done anything when asked.”
“No,” I reminded him. “You had to listen to your manager, or he would’ve––”
“And I would have just let it happen,” he told me, “and stopped caring about everything, and then that would have been the end of me.”
I was reminded of what my boss had said, to give myself more credit. “I don’t think––”
“But I do,” he said, exhaling deeply. “I know myself, and it was you, Loc. I took steps for you. I made different choices because you asked me and for no other reason.”
“I was doing my job.”
“I know,” he agreed. “But I also know that it changed.”
“What?” I snarled defensively. “It did not.”
“No?”
“I––”
“It had to have, because I feel different, and that comes from you.”
“You’re deluded.”
He grunted in agreement. “I am, about a lot of things,” he agreed. “But not you. You, like I said before, I see very clearly, and when I do see you, talk to you, touch you, I know everything will be all right. I’m good and solid and strong.”
I shook my head.
“So yeah, I need that ring on your finger now, and God help you if you take it off.”
“Nick,” I rasped. “Honey, I don’t belong to you, and I’m not gonna stay and––”
“You know when we were fighting before,” he said, his eyes glinting in the light coming from the windows above us. “You said you were going to leave as soon as we got home.”
“And I am,” I assured him.
He chuckled. “Baby, do you listen to yourself?”
“What?”
“You’re going to leave when we get home.”
“Yeah, that’s what I have to do.”
He snorted. “Loc, if home is where we’re going after this, and you called it that, then where the hell do you think you live?”
It took a second, because his closeness, the heat rolling off him, the way he was looking at me, the way the moon shone in his hair, he was a distraction. And then it hit me. I’d called his house, home.
Shit.
“But you can ruminate on that later.”
“Pardon me?”
His smile was brilliant as he leaned in and kissed me, hard and deep, his lips clinging to mine until he pulled back.
“Couple days ago I had this epiphany and––”
“What?”
His brows rose. “Do you not know what an epiphany is?”
“Of course I know what an epiphany is,” I yelled at him.
“I figured you did,” he teased me, kissing my cheek, under my ear, then along my jaw to my mouth, which he captured again, parting my lips savagely, possessively until I kissed him back, and then he settled, seemingly calmed by my giving in. His kisses became drugged, languorous instead of fierce and claiming. Hard to say which I wanted more.
When he lifted his lips from mine, his smile was radiant.
“We need to go in,” I whimpered. “I need water.”
“Okay,” he agreed, chuckling, bending over me again. “I just want one more kiss.”
It was so much more than one.
Twelve
When we walked inside the house, my mother was in the kitchen, yawning and stretching from her afternoon cat nap, pouring herself a glass of berry-infused water.
“I know, I know,” she told me. “I’m starting dinner right now.”
“I just want the water at the moment.”
“I’ll pour you a…” She trailed off, tipping her head, looking at me. “You’re covered in dirt, you know.”
I grunted.
“Why are you—come here, I want to talk to you,” she called over to me as Nick headed to the bathroom.
Crossing the room to the kitchen, I took the glass she’d poured and offered me, and nearly drained it before I came up for air. I noted the way she was studying me. “Whaddya want, Gidge?” I said, using the name.
“Oh,” she said with a sigh. “That was thoughtful.”
I shrugged.
She reached out and put a hand on my cheek. “Promise me you’ll come back soon. I’d like to see more of you.”
“You won’t get sick of me?”
“Not in the least,” she assured me.
“You just want free labor.”
“I do enjoy that, I’m not going to lie,” she said playfully. “But it’s your company that’s the real draw.”
“Well, even though some of your friends are a bit flaky, and a bit too loose with their various herbal remedies––”
“You mean pot and mushrooms and peyote.”
“That’s what I mean, yes,” I teased her. “I will promise to return if you let them visit while I’m here. I know you don’t let anyone come over, and that’s mean. They miss you, and they should get to see your son.”
“Yes, but––”
“You get to see theirs,” I reminded her.
She nodded. “I promise; it’s just that I like to soak up all your attention, and then there was that time when Teresa Reeves hit on you.”
I scoffed. “Did she hit on me? Are you sure?”
Instant glower. “I was horrified,” she informed me loudly. “I saw the way she looked at you. I have never looked at even one of my friends’ sons like that in my entire life. I would never! That’s disgusting!”
“Oh, c’mon, don’t be such a prude.”
“Children are sacred.” She was adamant. “I couldn’t even speak to her after that.”
I reached for her.
“No, no,” she squealed, moving quickly around the other side of the counter to escape me. “You’re covered in dirt and sweat. You need to go shower before dinner.”
I groaned. “You have no idea,” I said, and turned for the hall.
“What?” she asked, stopping me with a hand on my wrist.
“Nothing, forget I––”
“Locryn?” She studied me, and I was sure, with how disheveled I looked, that she was starting to draw her own conclusion.
“Just never––”
“Oh,” she said suddenly, almost with a jolt.
If the ground could swallow me up, that would be great.
“Oh,” she repeated, louder the second time, which was infinitely worse. “Well now.”
“Stop,” I warned her, girding for whatever horror she was about to share.
“And here I thought I was the child of nature dancing naked under the full moon.”
“No,” I groaned. “I don’t wanna know what––”
“Oh, I’m kidding about the dancing; I suspect it’s more in line with what you and Nick did, but that part’s not important. The joyful news is you and Nick are finally trining together in perfect harmony. I’m over the moon.”
“I don’t want you to get your hopes up that we’re gonna end up––”
“But darling, anyone can see he’s utterly besotted with you, and seeing someone besides me get it, get you, understand the treasure you are, just makes me love him almost desperately.”
“Stop getting attached,” I warned her. “He’s going to come to his senses any––”
“No, sweetheart,” she said with a sigh. “He’s young, but he’s not stupid. I mean, for heaven’s sake, he’s already got a ring on you.”
“Oh God, that’s right,” I said, lifting my hand to take it off.
She caught her breath, and I froze.
“Mom?”
“Don’t you dare do that,” she cautioned, suddenly quite serious. “You’ll break his little heart. That ring is so important to him. It’s imbued with all his hopes and dreams.”
“Imbued?”
“I know you’re not making fun of my vocabulary.”
“No, but c’mon. We both know I shouldn’t be the one wearing it.”
“But you should, because you’re his home now.”
“Seriously, did one of your friends come by and drug you and Nick?”
She squinted at me. “I swear I have no idea where this lack of belief in love came from.”
“Mother, you’ve been married seven times. Where do you think it came from?”
“But that’s what I mean. I believed each time, so that should have been a wonderful example for you,” she chided, and when I passed her the glass I’d used, she looked at me with so much raw, open affection that no one could miss it. When she reached for my hands, I slipped them into hers. “And for the record, there’s no missing that Nick Madison is completely and utterly in love with you.”
“I refuse to discuss this with you.”
“Just because you don’t want to put a name to something doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
I shook my head. “Like I said, give it a bit. It’ll burn off.”
“Sweetheart––”
“He doesn’t know what he really wants, Mom. He’s so young.”
She pursed her lips and nodded. “Yes, it’s true, he is young. But you know, some people, even when they’re young, know who they are and what they want.”
I made a derisive noise. “Yeah, nice, you think you’re clever with the whole ‘I was seventeen, and I knew I was going to keep my baby’ crap.”
Her giggle almost made me smile, but I scowled extra hard.
“Now go take a shower,” she snapped at me, letting go of me and trying to shoo me away. “I made lasagna.”
“Stop,” I ordered her, and she huffed out a breath before rounding on me. “You always get all grouchy and bent outta shape before I leave.”
She glared at me.
Leaning in, I kissed her cheek. “I will always come back, ’cause I like you just a bit.”
She grunted, but her smile made her eyes sparkle, and I left her to go get cleaned up.
Walking into my room, I realized that Nick’s duffel and garment bag were now on my bed, and my shower was running. Slamming open the door, I yelled at him.
“You have your own bathroom!” I was indignant.
“I did,” he said, popping his head out from behind the curtain that went around the ring above the clawfoot bathtub. “But now I’m in here with you.”
“No,” I railed at him, stalking over to the tub and reaching in to turn off the water.
“Yes,” he insisted, leaning in close to kiss me.
The fact that I took hold of his cheek and kissed him back took all the sting out of my words. His wide smile and dancing eyes told me I was a complete disaster when it came to threatening him in any way.
Grabbing a towel, I turned and stalked out of the room.
I took a lukewarm shower in the guest bathroom, which had very recently been his but was now empty of anything that did not belong to my mother. He had taken it upon himself to move all his crap into my room, uninvited. What the hell?
I was growling by the time I was done, and as I stood in front of the mirror, with my hair combed back from my face, I realized how badly it needed to be cut. It was falling to my shoulders now, as thick and heavy as my mother’s.
Turning and opening the door, I nearly walked into Nick, who was standing right outside.
“You can’t just move your shit into––”
“God, you’re annoying,” he said, chuckling as he took hold of my hips and stepped in close to me, his mouth a hairsbreadth from mine. “Kiss me.”
“You’ve been kissed enough,” I lied, because yes, I wanted more of every part of him.
“You’re worried that because I’m young, I’ll get tired of you, and I’ll want to go out and party.”
“No,” I groused, because yeah, that was part of it, the rest being that he’d wake up in the morning, in bed with me, and wonder what the hell he was thinking.
“Yes,” he said, smiling. “And I can’t fix that because only time will show you how serious I am about you.”
I wasn’t touching that.
“Where’s my ring?”
“Right here,” I grumbled, holding up my hand. “But you should––”
“Is your plan to not kiss me or touch me? Just make me do it all until I’m sick of being the only one initiating contact?”
Perhaps…
He shrugged. “It won’t work,” he assured me, chuckling. “I have no problem being––”
“Shuddup,” I ordered, slipping my hand around the side of his neck and drawing him close for a kiss.
I tipped his head back and kissed him slowly, taking my time, cupping the back of his head in my hand as I stroked over his jaw with my thumb.
The full-body shiver made me smile, and when I pulled back, his pupils were blown, and his face was flushed just enough that I noticed. “I am not easy to like or love or anything,” I told him. “You should pick someone easier.”
“I don’t want easy,” he said, leaning in. “I want you.”
I kissed him again, enfolding him in my arms, and he wrapped his around my neck so I couldn’t pull away. The shining eyes told me how happy he was when I let him breathe. Even panting for air, he’d never looked better.
I tried to tell myself I would take off the ring and just stop, put an end to his infatuation before it got any further out of hand.
“Don’t make me cry,” he whispered against my mouth. “Please, Loc, I only want to smile from now on.”
How was I supposed to say no to that?
At dinner, he was looking at me expectantly, and it hit me.
“Oh yeah,” I said, taking a breath and a deep gulp of chianti. “What was your epiphany?”
He put down his fork and scowled at me.
“Sweetheart, that’s not the way we ask about something as important as an epiphany,” my mother scolded me.
“No, I didn’t mean it like––” I growled at him. “Tell me or don’t.”
He tipped his head and squinted at me.
God.
“Fine, that was crappy. Please, tell me.”
His face lit up. “I had this great idea, and I talked to the guys, and they agreed to come with me, so I’m taking my aunt Gwen up on her offer.”
“Guys? Aunt who?”
“My guys, the guys in my band who back me up, Silas, Merce, and Flint.”
“Jesus Christ, I’m not even kidding. You don’t know anybody with a normal name.”
He shrugged. “Says Locryn.”
“What?”
“Never mind,” he replied, chuckling.
“And again, I ask, aunt who?”
“Okay, so, after the stories all hit the news,” he explained, putting his fork down so he could curl my hair around my ear, “my aunt Gwen, who’s my mother’s sister, reached out to me through Sawyer’s office and invited me to rediscover my Kentucky roots, in Irvine, which is where my mother’s family is from.”
“Sawyer? I didn’t know you guys were on a first name basis.”
He nodded, wincing. “Yeah. Since the beginning. You’re the only one who actually calls him Mr. Cox. I’ve always just called him Sawyer.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was mad at you. I didn’t want to talk to you at all, and I certainly wasn’t going to divulge anything remotely personal.”
That made sense. “Okay,” I said as he slid his hand over my thigh under the table. “So you want to go do that? Go to Kentucky and visit these people?”
“Well, meet them, actually.”
“How have you never met them?”
“Well, when I was very young, my father made my mother cut off all contact with her side of the family because he didn’t want to associate with them.”
“Oh, that’s terrible,” my mother told him. “Your poor mother.”
“My aunt told me that my father threatened to throw my mom out and not let her see her children ever again if she went against his wishes.”
“He secluded her from her own family,” my mother said sadly, her eyes scrunching up. “I bet she didn’t have friends, either.”
“No,” Nick told her. “Not that I remember.”
“Oh, love,” she said with a sigh. “I think your mother would love it if you spent time with her family.”
“I agree,” he told her, turning to me. “So that’s what I want to do, and here’s where the epiphany comes in.”
I waited.
“We’re going to film it.”
“I’m sorry?”
“We’re going to, you know, make a documentary.”
I looked at my mother and then back at him. “What?”
His grin was huge, and lit his whole face. “I’m going to go to Irvine, Kentucky, and meet my family, spend time with them and rediscover my roots, and it’s gonna be great.”
“And who’s going to film it?”
“Netflix is. They’re sending a crew with us, and we’re going to tie the whole thing into the new record. Like how Dave Grohl did with Sonic Highways.”
“I watched all those, and what you’re planning is nothing like Sonic Highways.”
“I’m not saying it’s—just, you know what I mean.”
“Holy shit,” I replied, stunned. “When were you gonna tell me all this?”
“Right before you called me a kid again and made me lose my mind.”
“I—what?”
“Like I said, you call me kid when you want to put this manufactured distance between us, and I’m so done with it I could puke.”
“The fuck is with you all calm and grown-up and easygoing alluva sudden?” I groused at him. “The hell is up with that?”
“You,” he announced, leaning over to kiss the side of my neck. “You, Locryn Barnes. You fixed me all up and set my world to rights. And now you’re going to go to Kentucky with me and stay on my aunt’s farm,” he said, grinning crazily, “with the guys.”
