I Do Love You Still, page 18
Wham! Wham! I struck pretty boy across that disrespectful mouth of his, then I dotted his eye.
Adonis stumbled, swayed.
“Get off of my property!” If I left and returned with a weapon, I was using it.
Z screamed. She should’ve listened when I told her not to come out here.
“That’s going to cost you handsomely, Mister Track Star. I used to be your fan.” Adonis held up his cell. Pressed the side button several times.
Wasn’t sure if he was capturing Z and me, or doing a selfie. Wham! His phone screen shattered, I stomped on it twice.
“I’m an Oglethorpe. I can buy another cell,” Adonis laughed, then added, “With my settlement.”
I noticed Z hadn’t spoken a word after that little yell of hers.
Giving her fifty feet, I’d become a spectator.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Z said to me.
What was she talking about? Giving her space or smashing his face? I didn’t answer or move. How did that nigga know my address? The only physical I’d ever used online was my mother’s.
“Xena, don’t make me call the cops, baby! That’s my property on that truck and the only way you can keep it in your possession is to come back home.”
For the first time, I saw the love I had for my woman in another man’s eyes.
Z stood in front of Adonis. I couldn’t ease my hand between them without touching him and her.
“Keep it,” she said. “You can have all of it, even my panties. Memphis has enough money to replace all that shit!”
No, Memphis didn’t. Not yet. Hell, I owed Tina-Love $250,000.
“All I want to do is love you and do right by you,” Adonis confessed. “I acted out of character. I behaved poorly. But Xena, all I’ve ever done was love you. You are carrying my child and you’re going to let another man take away my DNA?” Adonis started crying like a lil bitch. When dude’s tears fell, he couldn’t hide his desperation.
“What did I do to hurt you?” Adonis asked Xena, sniffling.
“What you want me to do, boss?” the moving supervisor asked.
Obviously, I did not think this shit all the way through. That dude’s heart was ripped. What if I were in his position? Xena hadn’t mentioned to him she was not carrying his child. I wasn’t going to mention it. What if @DDDShade and Rick were setting me up again?
Trust no one.
The pain on Adonis’s face, I’d have to be a sociopath to not have empathy for this man in this moment.
“I love you too, woman,” I told Z, making a fist. Not to strike Adonis again.
His lip was busted, eye bruised. Light-skinned guys should never put themselves in a position for a physical altercation. My hand was hurting, but not nearly as much as his heart.
I whispered in Z’s ear, “I can’t have these types of distractions while I’m training.” I told the movers, “Yo! Take all her stuff out of my house and back to ole boy’s.”
“Memphis, please don’t do this. I just need a few hours of closure with Adonis,” Z pleaded. “To straighten things out properly.”
Fuck that. Memphis Brown was second to none. “Take your time, Z. When it’s all good for us to be together, I’ll be waiting to properly propose to you.” Sliding my ring off her finger, I said, “I promise.”
CHAPTER 40
Xena
“What in the hell is this?” Tina-Love stood in her driveway wearing a long leopard see-through robe in front of men who shouldn’t see her virtually naked.
I’d parked my BMW in her garage, left the door up. “I’m taking you up on your offer. I need to stay with you until I rent a place of my own,” I explained. “A week. Maybe two. Please.”
I didn’t want to be here any more than my bestie wanted me at her house, but I was not going back to Adonis under any circumstance, nor was I living with Bailey, a man I’d never met.
The lead mover got out of the truck. Barefoot, Tina-Love stomped up to him. “Do not unload a thing, you hear me. Take her belongings elsewhere.”
Adonis stood beside me. Tina-Love marched to us. He stared at my bestie’s pussy forever, as though he was being hypnotized.
Tina-Love untied her robe, pushed Adonis’s head below her navel. “Is that a good enough view?” she said, then slapped him three times. Hard. Fastening her belt, she yelled, “Get off of my property, right now!”
Adonis shook his head like he’d awakened from a long nap. I told myself I didn’t care.
What did Tina-Love expect? Her chocolate raspberry lips were protruding. I had to stare elsewhere.
“So are you saying I can’t stay with you for a short while?” I asked.
Frowning, she responded, “I’m beginning to believe you may have a mental disorder. What normal person shows up at anyone’s home unannounced with a truckload of furniture? That’s my concern.”
I’d seen every room in her place and knew each one was fully furnished and decorated. But she had available square footage in her garage. “How about they put my things in your in-law unit out back?” My belongings wouldn’t be here long.
Adonis held my hand. I pulled away. Why was he following me everywhere?
“What part of ‘get off of my property, right now!’ don’t you understand?” Tina-Love announced calmly. “You too, Xena.”
Holding back tears, Adonis gripped my wrist. “Let’s go home and work things out for the three of us. I know you’re upset, but you don’t have to beg her.”
Shaking my head no, I said, “I can’t. I have to get my own place.” Watching him tear up, I was tired of his crying. “I’ll think about it. Go.”
“What y’all want me to do with this load?” the moving supervisor asked. “I’m late for my next job.” His eyes roamed Tina-Love’s body. “Damn, woman. You right for that.”
“Forget her. Follow me, man,” Adonis said.
The mover replied, “Never that.”
“Yes, that! Follow him!” Tina-Love waited until her security gate closed. “You, inside. We need to talk. Don’t ever let anyone on my premises without my prior consent. Leaving your things here would’ve given crazy Adonis an excuse to come back with or without you.”
That was fair. I trailed Tina-Love inside her mansion. She went to the kitchen, opened a bottle of champagne, filled two flutes.
“You could’ve called. Texted. You don’t show up at my house on a whim with all of your belongings expecting me to invite you in for an undeterminable amount of time, Xena. What’s really going on? Start from my dropping you off at the shop after we left Doctor Francis’s office yesterday,” Tina-Love said, handing me a flute.
Alcohol on an empty stomach was not what I needed. “No, thanks,” I said.
“Yes, thanks. Drink up. It’s not like you’re pregnant.” Tina-Love rubbed the side of her face. “I apologize, Xena. But as your friend, you know me better than anyone and you do this?”
There was nothing worth justifying. I’d left the champagne where she’d place it.
“Has the doctor called you to schedule your procedure?”
I shook my head. Tina-Love was right. I knew she wouldn’t be happy to see me. I was disappointed in myself. Again.
“Memphis put me out,” I told her.
“That’s not what he said when he called me. He said that in the midst of moving you into his place, Adonis showed up at his house unannounced acting an ass. So you leave Memphis’s and bring that BS to my doorstep. Why?”
Sitting on the counter stool, I had to put Adonis staring at her vaginal lips out of my mind. She was the slut, not me. Tina-Love also had her life in order.
“You have the opportunity of a lifetime in front of you and you’re wasting it on a man who doesn’t matter.” She emptied her cocktail until the last bubble disappeared, then she poured herself round two.
“Oh, hi,” a naked guy said, entering the kitchen. There was no reaction to the fact that I was present.
No need for surprise. This was Tina-Love’s norm and why I should be grateful I wasn’t moving into her home. First thing I noticed was the guy’s penis was almost as big as Memphis’s. “Hello,” I told him, not wanting to be rude.
He filled a water pitcher with ice cubes, kissed Tina-Love. “Ready whenever you are. No rush. I’ll be by the pool.”
I gulped all the bubbles, covered my mouth, burped. “Excuse me. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“That’s Ricardo. My Italian friend we were supposed to visit.” Opening the cooler, she held another bottle of Dom. “You’re here. You might as well join us.”
Oh no! I stood, glad my BMW was in her garage. “No, thanks. You just reminded me why I shouldn’t be here.”
I had to credit Tina-Love. From modeling to men, she’d always known what she wanted. And I’d always lived in the shadow of a man. Truth was, I was petrified for Fashion Week, and it wasn’t until next year. I stared at my so-called bestie. She could’ve offered to help me.
“What, Xena?” With the bottle in her hand, she continued, “You showed up on my doorstep. Not the other way. I’m tired of you, too, Xena. Stop fucking judging me!”
Thump! She banged the bottle against the countertop. Holding my breath, I didn’t know what to expect, but I was relieved the glass didn’t break.
What was Tina-Love tired of? Devaluing her vagina? Recycling disposable dicks? Or damaging one good man after another. Ricardo appeared nice. That situation wouldn’t last long.
“Let me remind you. I am self-made.” Tina-Love suctioned in her cheeks, popped the cork on number two, drank from the bottle. “My children were for my mother’s man, bitch! You’ve never been raped! You just keep making dumb-ass decisions.”
Speechless. What did she expect me to say? I hadn’t visited my dad since I’d broken up with Memphis.
Tina-Love stood in front of me and said angrily, “You’re thirty-one. Single. Never married. Damaged. And broken. I’ll be damned if I’m going to live my life based on what you or anyone else thinks of me.” She jammed her pointer finger to her sternum repeatedly.
To that, I had no response. I was not going to allow her to condemn me anymore. Adonis. My mother. Tina-Love. The cement floor. I didn’t have to sleep at my shop. And I didn’t need any of them.
I told her, “Wished you had confessed this while we were in high school. I wouldn’t be standing here.”
“Xena,” she said. “Regardless of my sexual behavior, if you have no compassion for the fact that I was raped damn near every day and my mother knew it, just go.”
I stretched my arms to my bestie. We embraced each other. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“You can stay the night,” Tina said. “In the morning, we can restart this conversation. Take a shower, do not put on any clothes, and meet me and Ricardo by the pool.”
CHAPTER 41
Xena
Silence. Did it truly exist?
Wind created sound. I sat on a patio cushion with my legs folded, listening to birds chirping. A constant piercing tone penetrated my eardrums. Water in Tina-Love’s pool swished.
“Tina-Love tells me you meditate daily,” Ricardo said.
Rudely interrupted, I opened my eyes, glanced around the terrace. “Yes, that was what I was doing,” I told him.
“You mind if I set up the massage table out here and show you something?” he asked. “Something inside of you is fighting to invade your body.”
I’d enjoyed our spiritual threesome in the Jacuzzi last night watching the sunset, but I was not in the mood for a continuation. “No, thanks. I’d like to practice before the sun rises.” I closed my eyes.
Plopping. Propping. Snapping. Swishing. Prohibited me from keeping my mind clear.
I stood. Stared at Ricardo’s nakedness. “Do you ever wear underwear?” I hadn’t seen him with any clothes on since I’d met him.
“Do you disapprove?” he asked as though he were my man.
Was he involved in some sort of cult practice?
Tina-Love quietly joined us. A robe more sheer than yesterday’s hung on her shoulders. The belt dangled at her sides.
“I requested Ricardo introduce you to a different kind of meditation. Trust him. It’ll give you a sharper internal image and help you heal yourself. I hope. I’ll prepare us a fresh fruit salad and meet you guys here in an hour.” Tina-Love left me feeling the session wasn’t optional.
I lay on the table and cradled my head in the doughnut, staring at the tiles.
“Let me place this blindfold over your eyes.” Ricardo secured the Velcro.
“Relax and breathe.” He waved a scent under my nose. “With each inhale, go deeper until you cannot expand your lungs any farther.”
On my third breath of eucalyptus, I released the tension from my body. Felt like I was hovering above the table. I heard more birds chirping, near and in the distance. First there were two, then there were four hands stroking my backside in a slow, gliding, top-to-bottom motion.
A slightly heavier pressure pushed on both shoulders. Their hands never lost contact with my flesh as they synchronized strokes from my ankles, calves, thighs, butt. They focused on my lower back.
Heaviness invaded my body. For the first time, I could feel the cyst without touching my abdomen. Sliding their fingers underneath me, they massaged my collarbone, stomach, pinched my Achilles, lifting me. Seemed as though pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half-dollars, and silver dollars rained as I was gently shaken. My head nestled in the headrest as they lowered me onto the table.
I was flipped onto my back. Every beat of my heart chased the next one competing to catch the one before. More whiffs of scented oil, menthol this time.
That was the last thing I remembered.
CHAPTER 42
Memphis
“Push harder, MB!” Coach Richie yelled as I raced by him. “Harder!”
Betrayer. Was that what he did when he fucked Natalie? She wasn’t my lady. I didn’t care that he’d hit it. Made me see her for the slut she was. Coach putting that “watch out for women” shit in my head, when his dick was trespassing on my territory. I was over it. Regardless of my decision, my success depended upon Coach Richie.
I didn’t have to like Coach. But I loved him. He believed in me. No way I’d let pussy come between me and my gold medals.
Every time I thought about Z, about the four-hands massage I let Tina-Love convince me to do with Rico Suave, about Adonis showing up at my house, my speed decreased. Refocusing, I pumped my arms faster, stretched my legs longer. I felt my lips, cheeks, chin, and forehead jolting up and down. Sweat burned my eyes. I was used to it. What I wasn’t accustomed to was this downturn. My four-hundred dash went from 50.2 seconds to 65.4.
As I leaned into the curve, my left foot skidded, knocked my right from under me. I slid. Jumped up.
“Fuck!” Anger consumed me. I brushed myself off.
“Give me ten more laps! You’re looking lousy, MB,” Coach Richie said.
He was right. Runners weren’t supposed to fall. Models weren’t expected to trip. A turbo boost blasted in my mind, but in reality, I struggled to increase my speed.
Shouldn’t have deviated from my norm this morning. Tina-Love told me the true meaning of soul-mating was that I had to connect with Z on a Zen level, be patient, allow her energy to find my spirit. When the two united, I had to let my energy penetrate her mind, body, and soul. I thought that was what I’d been doing the five years I was with Z.
Breaking my stride, I came to a stop. Leaning over, I rested my hands on my knees, told Coach, “Don’t say it. I know my mind wasn’t one with my body today. I’ll make up for it tomorrow.”
Coach Richie patted me on my back. “Next time run like you punch.”
He laughed. I didn’t. Jogging to the bleachers, I reached inside my bag, retrieved my phone and car keys, checked my messages.
When are you going to come get Her?? Tina-Love texted.
Damn, Z hadn’t been there twenty-four hours. Rico Suave was the one that had to go. Had to admit, I did not want Tina-Love to settle down with one man.
After changing my shoes, I walked the all-weather track, retracing my steps to where I’d fallen. This could not, make that would not, happen again.
I replied, 1 quick stop then I’m omw
Nothing you’ve done was for Z. It was all for you, Tina-Love texted.
That’s not true, and she knew it.
Everything I’d done was for Z. I’d admit I executed my judgment in a self-centered, egotistical way. But that was what women accepted.
Then why is she here and you’re not?
What the fuck? I was just there. I wasn’t taking Z off of Tina-Love’s hands. “See you in the morning,” I said, waving to Coach Richie.
“MB. Everything is going to be okay,” he reassured me. “Whatever it is, let it go,” Coach said, then redirected his attention to his cell phone.
I wanted to. But I couldn’t. Had to stop off at @DDDShade and Rick’s.
Xena just left. I think Adonis is moving our gurl back in with him, she texted.
Be right over after my stop. Make sure Rico Suave is gone before I get there. He was trying to move in on Tina-Love. I wasn’t having that.
I turned onto Rick’s private road and parked in their garage. Rick greeted me with an open hand. “My wife is out.”
Perfect! “I’ll come back.”
“Time is not on your side, my brother,” he said, closing the garage door.
Following him into his kitchen, he said, “Have a seat,” then asked, “How’re things with you?”
I’d never seen an all-black kitchen with a gold backsplash. “Why don’t you tell me?” I said, standing at the island.
Rick placed two glasses on the counter, filled them with juice from a decanter, handed me one.
“Thanks,” I said, sitting down. “Let’s get to it.” I wasn’t here to make a friend.
“Have you made a decision on our representing you? Before you answer, let me show you this. We’re protecting you as of now.”
A video streamed on the big-screen television hanging on the wall. There I was punching Adonis in the face. All the outdoor footage was clear, voices and images. “I was justified. He was trespassing,” I said.
