Time to Shine, page 12
I am enraged and totally thrown by the audacity of this woman. Not only does she think she can tell Brett what to do, but she thinks she can command me too. Well, I have said goodbye to my years of being bullied and abused, and I am not going to stand for this.
‘Miss Mancini. Vanessa. You seem like an intelligent woman, so I’ll not beat about the bush. Professor Brett is, justifiably, very proud of the work he has done here at the Timebank, and appears to be completely settled in his career at the University. It is not for either of us to try to influence him in any way, but if, in knowing me, he has formed a stronger intention to do good at a grass roots level, I am thrilled and will apologise for nothing. If he needs space to make his decision, let him take it, but I will not be changing anything I do or say to persuade him either way.’
I cheer internally, as this is the first time I have ever spoken my mind truthfully and taken responsibility for any consequences of doing so, not to wound someone, but to lay my cards on the table. It feels wonderfully liberating and I am proud of myself, but the feeling doesn’t last.
My mind flashes to the previous night and my role as stalker outside Brett’s family estate, and I wonder for a moment if Vanessa somehow knew I was there. It was wrong of me, I know that now, but love does funny things to a woman... love, there it is again.
‘Well, I’m not standing out here any longer, Vanessa. You’ve said your piece and I have said mine. Now, are you coming back in?’
‘Soon,’ she says, as she lights another cigarette.
BACK INSIDE The Dog House, the music from Tasha’s dance lessons has stopped and I spot her drinking tea with Iris and Brett over in the corner. Major is sniffing his way around under the table, picking up crumbs of dropped cake and having a great time with all the fuss he is getting.
‘I see you have plenty of company now then, Iris.’
‘Isn’t it lovely,’ she giggles. ‘I do love coming here. Do you know, before The Dog House opened I hardly ever left my home, and now I have lots of wonderful friends, both two legged and four.’
‘And that’s what it’s all about, Iris,’ says Brett, shuffling across the bench to make room for me to sit down next to her.
I consider what Vanessa might do when she comes back in to see me sitting between Iris and Brett, and I choose to pull up a chair on the other side of the table. Brett gives me a momentary confused expression but moves back down the bench.
‘So, what have you two ladies been talking about out there?’ he asks.
‘You,’ I say, and Tasha chokes on her cup of tea.
‘Really? I would have thought you would have had better things to talk about.’
‘No, Brett. You were the main topic of conversation. Vanessa was telling me about your political aspirations.’
‘Oh, that,’ he says flatly. ‘You mean hers and my mother’s aspirations. Honestly, ladies,’ he is addressing the three of us now, ‘they never let up. That’s all they talked about at dinner last night, and I’m sure the guests we had were only invited to back them up in their argument. It was like an ambush.’
‘Well, it’s not an entirely bad idea, Brett,’ I say, trying not to take sides in something that was obviously causing him some distress. ‘You have done a lot for our community already.’
‘I would agree, Kendra, but I did it because I believed in it, and I wanted to be useful, not because I wanted to win votes.’
‘Some would say that would make you the ideal candidate, young man,’ chips in Iris who, having found her voice, was making the most of it.
‘Iris, you traitor. I thought I could rely on you to be on my side.’ Brett puts a hand on her shoulder and feigns a hurt expression.
We all laugh and Major tries to jump up onto Tasha’s lap, spilling her tea all over her and making us all laugh again.
‘I see I am missing out on all the fun.’ Vanessa’s voice casts a wet flannel over the mood and at first, we hang our heads, Tasha and Brett both stifling laughter, then as one we look up at her, towering over our table like we are naughty school children in the dinner hall.
‘William dear,’ Vanessa addresses him through gritted teeth. ‘You are teeing off with Councillor Stubbs in half an hour. We really need to go.’ Her hand sits on his shoulder, the knuckles white with the pressure she is putting on it.
‘Right. Yes. I apologise ladies. Lovely to see you as always, but duty calls... again. Can’t keep Old Stubby waiting.’
I tune into his subtle energy and can see a steady flow of it being pulled from him into Vanessa. She has all the power in this relationship. In some ways, he is no better off than I was with Dane. I do hope he comes to his senses and realises what is happening to him.
I watch the two of them leave the building, my heart following him whilst my body stays put, then I turn to Iris and Tasha, ‘Right, I’m up for my third cuppa. How about you?’
Chapter Twenty-Four
Shattered Dreams
Friday 13th September
It’s been a quiet week, after all the excitement at the weekend, though I have increased my light therapy hours, so I have kept busy. Some of what Professor Adderley had spoken about during his brief visit, swirled round my mind as I was working with my clients yesterday, and it felt validating to think about my energy work from his point of view. Not that I have ever felt the need for validation.
I have seen nothing of Brett, Vanessa or even Tasha since The Dog House, but the team at Moons & Runes have been making me feel very welcome and Summer McCarthy in particular has been making sure I feel as though I belong.
Work has been constant since nine this morning, and have just stopped for a tea break, which I am spending in my therapy room and taking a moment to open the post that was handed to me as I left home this morning. Two brown window envelopes which I hate getting as they are either an unwelcome message from the tax man or a letter from the NHS. They can go to the back of the pile. A post card from Jenny who I used to work with at the bank, and who is currently on holiday in Corfu, lucky girl, that was nice of her, and a hand addressed white envelope with a local postmark. I’ll go for that one first.
I take a sip of my tea before sliding the corner of one of my business cards under the top of the envelope and slicing it the full length, then retrieve the handwritten letter.
My Dearest Kendra,
By the time you read this, I will already be settled in Oxford where I have enrolled in a course to study under James (Professor Adderley). Please don’t think badly of me, I just needed to get away and clear my head before I make a decision that will affect the rest of my life.
I couldn’t face saying goodbye to you, but I didn’t want you to think I had left without a thought. I have written to Tasha and Summer so the Timebank will continue as normal.
If the fates decree it, we will meet again.
Yours
William Brett.
I stare at the letter in disbelief. Not a word had he said, not an inclination had I felt that this might happen. Oxford. Not a million miles away, but it might as well be as his letter seems to say he wants space. He doesn’t actually say he needs space from me, but I can read between the lines.
An unwelcome thought flashes through my mind. Has Vanessa gone with him? Is she behind this? How can I find out?
I could speak to Summer and Tasha, find out if there is anything more in his letters to them, but in truth I have no claim on him, no right to know what is going on in his life.
There is a soft tap on my door. I check the clock on the wall. It is too early for my next client, and I don’t feel up for visitors, so I ignore it. A few seconds later there is another tap. I get up reluctantly and open the door a few inches.
‘Hey Kendra, I thought you might need to speak to me about now.’
It is Summer, as cheery as ever and as usual, spot on with her instincts. I open the door just enough to let her in, and she immediately opens her arms wide and gives me a huge hug. Tears that I have been holding back until now start to roll down my cheeks.
‘You’ve had your letter too then?’ I ask.
‘Yes, before I left home this morning, but Oscar told me to wait until now to speak with you. He was particularly insistent on it.’
‘Oh, Summer. Is it my fault? Have I driven him away?’
‘It’s complicated, Kendra. He stood against his family once before, when he decided to study Physics, and it caused a rift that never completely healed. He’s feeling under pressure at the moment, so has turned to where he feels safest, immersed in his science.’
‘Alone?’
‘Completely.’
‘So where does that leave me?’ I ask, selfishly.
‘Where were you yesterday? I mean in the relationship.’
‘We were friends, but...’
‘Then, I guess you are still friends, Kendra. Nothing has changed, he has just hit pause for a time. He’s still engaged to Vanessa, and still friends with you. If that is to change, it will make no difference where he is or what he is doing.’
Her words hurt me, though I know that they are not intended to do so, she is simply stating the facts. She’s right. If Brett and I have a future, it will happen. I will just need to get on with my life while he is away and let our futures unfold as they will. The loss I am feeling now is the loss of my dreams, dreams of one particular future, nothing more.
‘Thanks, Summer,’ I say softly. ‘How did you get to be so wise?’
Summer gives a little laugh, ‘Not the first time I’ve been asked that,’ she says. ‘And I doubt it will be the last. Now, I think what we need to do is to plan a girl’s night out. Barney’s band is playing at The Whiskers on Thursday, how about I get the girls together for a bit of booze and boogie? That’ll give you something to look forward to.’
‘That sounds great. I’ll invite Tasha, Jenny and Phoebe, if that’s alright with you.’
‘More the merrier, there will be six of us from Moons if everyone can make it. Now, fix your make up, your client will be here any minute. I’ll see you later.’
As she closes the door behind her, I can’t quite believe how much stronger I feel.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Three Months Later
Friday 13th December
Dear Journal,
Thursday evenings have become a regular monthly event, going down The Cat’s Whiskers every time Barnaby and his band, Celtic Disc-Covery, have a gig. I have become good friends with all the girls from Moons, Jayne, Sophie, Suzi, as well as Summer and Marianne. On occasion Thea, the owner, joins us too, when she’s not out for dinner with D C I Trowse. There are always people I know from the Timebank too, Tasha of course, has become part of the Thursday night gang, and I have never felt that I fit in so well anywhere in my life before. What with that, and joining Marianne’s healing group on a Tuesday evening, I am keeping myself really busy.
There is not a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about Brett, but I am learning not to dwell on it. There has been no communication, not a letter or even a text message, but all in all I think that is probably for the best.
Vanessa is still around. I see her from time to time when I attend any event where the press is likely to be present. She really does love the limelight. I can’t quite make her out though. She is still wearing the family heirloom engagement ring that Brett gave her, and she never fails to make sure I see it when I do bump into her, but I don’t think she has heard from him either. Tasha asked her point-blank the other day and she came up with some story about him being radio silent at the moment due to his work. He’s in Oxford for Heaven’s sake, not Outer Mongolia, surely, he would reach out to his fiancée if he cared for her.
I can’t quite believe it’s been three months since he left. Preparations are underway now for the Christmas Fundraiser. It’s not going to be as glamourous as the Summer Ball, but we will be using the same venue, and there will be dancing and merriment. I can’t help getting a shiver down my back every time I think about it and would rather not be somewhere that is going to bring back bad memories, so I’m not sure that I really want to go, but Tasha will hear none of it and it will be too cold to open the rooftop anyway, so I should be ok. We’re off later today to shop for party dresses.
Oh, I can’t remember if I’ve told you, Tasha has a partner. We were all quite surprised, and I think she was quite surprised herself to begin with, but she’s dating the Honourable Ms Justice Jo Carter, (I think that’s the proper address). Who would have thought that someone as bubbly and fun loving as Tasha would date a judge? They seem really happy together though, and I am delighted for her, though I am glad she is not bringing Jo on our shopping trip. It’s nice that it’s just Tasha and me.
Business is continuing to pick up, I have a waiting list now and that is always a good thing. I’m splitting my time between working with people at Moons & Runes and working with dogs at The Dog House, yes, I do animal energy work now too! It’s a lovely balance all round. I look back on my days at the bank now and wonder why on earth I didn’t do it sooner, but I know the answer to that really. The events in my life, good and bad, had to happen in the way they did to lead me to where I am now, and I only have a few regrets, so I can’t complain.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Dress Shopping
Saturday 14th December
I have arranged to meet Tasha on the south-east corner of the marketplace and am grateful to be able to shelter from the rain in the doorway of W H Smiths. I’m early, for a change, and debate whether to go inside and browse, but I know that if I do, I will only spend money unnecessarily. Today is all about finding the perfect dress for the upcoming dance, though if I’m honest, I would rather spend the cash I have on another journal.
I wait in the doorway and people-watch, as shoppers dive in and out of the different stores and huddle together under the canopies of the market stalls. Unbidden, thoughts of Brett intrude my mind and I picture myself sheltering here with his arm around my waist, protecting me from everything, even the rain. I shake my head to rid myself of the image and the longing that will never be fulfilled.
Tasha arrives in dramatic style, characteristically late and soaked to the skin.
‘Oh, my goodness, Tash. Don’t you have a brolly?’
‘It was dry when I left home. Not to worry though, I have a plan.’
‘A plan? I think you need a miracle.’
‘No, just a short visit to Pippa’s place on The Pentacle.’
I have a feeling I know what she has in mind, so I open my umbrella and we both step out again into the rain and walk the slight hill that runs the width of the market until we reach Little Brooke Lane.
Inside the lane we jostle with other shoppers and their umbrellas of varying shapes and sizes. I wonder at the mindset of anyone bringing an open golfing umbrella into a lane as narrow as this. We fight our way through and eventually make it out the other end into the open space of The Pentacle.
The peace and goodwill of the magical park is evident immediately. The rain still falls, but the shoppers are happy and smiling, greeting each other as they take their time walking around the circular cobblestone path that surrounds the lush green grass. There is even a faint trace of a rainbow arcing the ancient oak tree that stands in the centre of the park.
We turn left and follow the cobblestones past a craft shop, the post office and a baby and toddler shop with a beautiful display in the window of a mother and her new baby. Once again Brett comes into my mind.
‘Stop it!’ I say, without realising I have said it out loud.
‘Stop what?’ asks Tasha.
‘Oh, er, my brolly keeps spinning round,’ I lie. The strength of the image has me on edge, why is this happening today.
Once we are past Cots & Tots, we arrive at The Natural Hair & Beauty Salon. Pippa spots us as soon as we step inside and realises what we are there for.
‘Oh, Tash. Again? You’re lucky, we have a treatment room free. Come on through.’
Clearly this is something that Tasha makes a habit of. I look around and spot an empty seat by the window. In an attempt to keep my mind focussed on something other than Brett, I pick up a leaflet about the salon and begin to read. Their prices really are quite reasonable, and I am contemplating booking myself in for a Raindrop Massage later next week, when I hear a familiar voice from behind one of the mirrored hair stations.
‘Of course, Mummy said all along that he just needed to get this science thing out of his system. We are expecting him back in time for Christmas and he says he has something important to discuss, so I would imagine we’ll be setting a date for the wedding. It simply has to be June, of course...’
I feel like I have been stabbed in the stomach. He’s been in touch with Vanessa. Well, of course he has. She is his fiancée after all and they’re getting married. I can’t bare it. I want to run, but I have to wait for Tasha. I want to cry, but that would draw attention and the last thing I want is for Vanessa to realise I am here. I lift the leaflet up in front of my face and pretend to read for what feels like an eternity until Tasha emerges from the therapy room thoroughly dried out.
I wait until she has thanked Pippa and made her way to the door before I lower the leaflet and exit the salon as quietly and quickly as I can manage without falling over any trolleys of hair equipment.
‘You alright, Kendra?’ says Tasha as she pulls the glass door shut behind us.
‘Yes. Fine. Get under this brolly before you get soaked again.’
‘You seem upset.’
‘Oh, Miss Snooty-Boots was in there, bragging about setting the date for her wedding.’
‘To Brett?’
‘Yes, of course to Brett, who else would it be?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. I just didn’t get that vibe from him.’
‘You’ve spoken with him?’ I ask, finding it difficult to believe that Tasha wouldn’t have mentioned that to me before.
