Stars' Light, page 22
In essence, because I did not use the humans, they never really learned how to fight and to protect themselves from the Darkness that took root in them at the end of the War of Light. This is why my Mirogen did not want me to use them, and I agreed. We were wrong on this.
After many conversations, I helped to convince my Mirogen, the Tracian Knights should disappear and recede into the setting sun. They could have lived on in Tracia, only coming forth when truly needed. This would have forced the humans to learn how to defend and protect themselves, not only from outside turmoil and conflict, but inside as well. It was not to be.
My Mirogen began to scowl more, instead of smile. He began to spend longer periods by himself, instead of with us and the humans we had saved. He did not really want to deal with or spend time with any humans, only wanting to be in the company of Immortals, but this was a mistake. It insulated him against the human condition. And, ultimately, in my opinion, he became human. It will not be up to me to help him find himself again, but it will be to you, my young Tatara. You will show him the way.
Below is the accounting of my battles against the church, and how we were able to win at great cost.
Sarannya looked up as Kiril came around the corner with some books in his hands. He looked tired from reading, and he had a sheaf of papers stacked on top of the books. It looked like he had been taking notes. Her hand was shaking, realizing the journal had directly addressed her.
“Does the Essence of Time allow you to see the future?” she asked.
Kiril set his books down and plopped into his chair, placing his notes in front of him. “What?”
“Can you see the future with the Essence of Time?”
Kiril thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I suppose you could. The Essence of Time is about being able to speed yourself up, or slow your enemies down. It actually deals with the energy that moves inside and just outside of the body, but I guess it could be used to see the future. I’ve not come across it before, but I’m beginning to see that my own training is lacking.” He gestured to the books around him. “And…with the war coming, it’s going to be difficult to learn. Our focus will be mainly on how to survive.”
Sarannya pointed down at the journal. “Zorian specifically names me. She knows that a Tatara will be reading her journal, and she wrote introductions to the sections, explaining more about the event, and the General in particular. I don’t really know what to do with this.” Sarannya looked up. “I’m beginning to feel that everything is hinging on me.”
Kiril smiled at her. “That’s because it is. According to this, Azarai and his wife Katerina Tatara were the first of your line. In actual mythology, written in this book, Azarai was the first man to set foot on Baral. Then came the General, and his wife, Analia Tal, who became the first married couple in human history. Katerina comes fourth, and then your family line is created. They took the name Tatara, but it doesn’t appear in any official capacity until the first Queen of the One-Thousand Nations is crowned. Her name was Zorian Mirogen. But…” He jumped in seeing Sarannya about to interrupt. “Her maiden name or family name was Tatara. She took her name to honor her mentor. Mirogen means enlightened one in the old tongue.”
Sarannya smiled. “She calls the General her Mirogen. I was confused by that, but that means the Mirogen name comes from her. They took their family name from a woman.” Sarannya got up and paced about. With a frown, she turned back to face Kiril, who was watching her silently, his notes spread out around him. She noticed that he had very clean and neat handwriting. His notes were very organized. She smiled to herself.
“How can we trust anything that we were taught? History has been written to keep people in power that shouldn’t be,” Sarannya said, gesturing to all the notes around her.
Kiril just nodded at her. He did not know what to say. He had come to that conclusion shortly after training with the General several years ago, but he learned by watching and listening to the General, not by finding a hidden library full of books written in antiquity. “I don’t know how much time we actually have here, but we must read and learn as much as we can about our own history. If we are to become real warriors, we have to understand it. Then, maybe, we won’t repeat the exact same mistakes.”
Sarannya was tired and hungry. “We should go back to the…” She frowned, shaking her head, not quite knowing what to call it. “Get some food and rest. A hot bath would be divine.” She packed up the journal and placed it in her pocket. She was torn between leaving it in the safety of the library or taking it with her. She wanted to read more tonight. She could always put it back in the library when she was done, she rationalized, and patted her pocket with a satisfied smile.
“We’ll be training tonight. The General will make sure of it, based on the letter he received.” Kiril stood, gathering his notes and books.
Sarannya hesitated. She was so tired, and all she really wanted was a hot bath and to read her journal. She then gathered up her swords, putting the short one in her wide silk belt, blade up, and tying the other to her hip.
The two of them made their way back up to the main desk, climbing a lot of stairs.
“They should invest in lifts. This is a bit ridiculous.” She was slightly out of breath, but her traveling and training with the General was paying off.
“Greetings young masters. Leaving?” Miriel smiled at them as they reached the desk. “Would you like me to hold those books for you until your next visit?”
Kiril smiled and handed her the books. “That would great, thank you. Also, is there a way to check books out and to take them with us?”
“I am afraid not. The books here are generally one of kind, and it would be a serious loss to have one lost or destroyed.” She smiled at Kiril, and then looked sideways at Sarannya, her green eyes accusing.
Sarannya’s heart beat faster. The journal was not a book that was originally in the library. Technically, it was Zorian’s and placed here for safe keeping. Hence the reason why to not take it out. Sarannya had a moment of doubt, and began to second guess herself. She stayed the course and gave a weak smile back, her hand creeping over her pocket, which contained the journal.
“Can texts be copied?” Sarannya croaked out, getting her nerve back a bit.
“No. As you are already discovering, if we began to copy texts that left the library, it could create problems in the local governments and history in general. The General has always felt that each society should change on its own in a living experience, instead of based on someone else’s perceptions of what happened. It is interesting how often we base our own beliefs off what others have said, instead of what we have learned through experience.”
“Then why write it down at all?” Kiril asked.
“To understand other viewpoints, and to see the world through a myriad of colors, instead of just one: our own.” She smiled back and scooped up his books. She nodded to Sarannya, but there was a glint in her green eyes and a frown on her lips. “Please ride carefully. I hope to see you both soon.” She bowed, her curls falling forward to hide her face.
Kiril and Sarannya quickly walked outside to find their horses ready and waiting. They mounted up and began the ride back to the Silk Stocking.
Sarannya could barely keep hear eyes open. She was so tired. This was the longest day; a day that would never end. Her practice sword was placed in a position to split the vision of her opponent. She and Jorian circled each other.
“Relax. I know that you are tired. There is a space in you that can store Mara. We call this your well. Your well will grow and enlarge the more you use it. It’s like a muscle.” He slipped in between a hole in her position and her movement, and struck her along the neck and shoulder.
Sarannya took the hit and was knocked back. She attempted to recapture the space, but the tip of his sword never wavered, and she almost ran straight into it. She sighed, backing away.
Jorian watched. She has a lot of spirit. A lot fire. It will need to be tempered, or it will get her killed, he thought. He could see Masamiria nodding his head as he watched the two. He and Masamiria were connected and sharing each other’s thoughts.
“Your Mara is the energy that you put into your well. This is the energy that you use to alter and change the physical world around you. The physical world is always in flux; it is always changing. It’s energy is always moving about. This is why you can change it and mold it to your needs.” He continued talking as they began to circle again.
“What about the Essence of Time. Can you use it to see your enemies movements before they happen? Can you use it to see the future?” Sarannya asked, trying to find an opening in the General’s movement. She felt clumsy. He moved so soft and fluid. It was like watching a Games runner versus a child that had just learned how to walk.
Jorian smiled at her. “Yes and no. There is only one who can see all the potentials, and understand them to see the actual future, and that entity is who allows us to do what we do. The future is so rife with changes that it almost becomes impossible to understand all of the potentials, and then to eliminate them as decisions are made to ultimately see what will happen. To do what you are asking about is to do what I just described to you in a single instant. Very difficult. Many have tried and been moderately successful, but decisions have been made based on what they thought or could understand that had grave consequences.” He frowned, thinking back to an era in which there had been Tracian Knights, when he had to hunt one of them down; a hunt that had not been successful.
Sarannya saw the small flick of his sword, and then she was hit again. Pain lanced out in her shoulder, but she knew it would have been a killing blow in real combat. She gasped. That one had really hurt. She moved back , and the General let her, not pressing his advantage.
“Feel the pain in your skin and bones. Connect to it, as you were taught to connect to the earth and the fire. Feel the energy that is stuck. Tap into your Mara and move the energy. Calm it down. Allow it to soothe and heal. Remember to breathe.”
Sarannya took a deep breath through her nose, but damn her shoulder was hurting. She initially did not think that she had been hit that hard. She closed her eyes and began to commune.
“No! With your eyes open. You need to learn how to do this while listening to me, talking to Kiril, riding a horse, holding a sword, fighting in battle. Do you understand?” Jorian’s sword flicked out.
Sarannya immediately moved and brought her sword up. She was surprised that she was able to cover the weapon and keep it from hitting her. She tried to connect and commune to the Essences, but it would not happen. With her eyes open, she could not concentrate enough. There was too much happening.
Jorian frowned, and in a brief flash of movement, he knocked her sword aside and hit her right in the same spot as before.
Sarannya’s sword was knocked almost from her grip, but his sword only moved a fraction of distance; then it struck. She was about cry out when a warmth spread across her shoulder, and all the pain that had been there was gone. Her shoulder felt really good. In fact, she felt really good. It was almost like her second, well, maybe her fourth or fifth wind showed up.
“Swords are not always used for killing. Most of time, they are used to preserve life. You must always remember that.” Jorian stood up, letting the tip of his sword come to rest near his leg. He watched as Sarannya recovered from the hit. He smiled at her as she looked from her shoulder to him. He could see the wheels turning in her mind. “Do you still want this?” he asked.
Sarannya’s temper flared. “Of course I fucking want this. I…” She stopped, her face scrunching up. Why am I speaking this way? It was almost like her self-control around language was eroding. She chose her words more carefully. “Thank you for teaching me. I’m frustrated, because I know we don’t have a lot of time, and I feel that I’m not going to be able to learn this fast enough.” She stood up straight, letting the tip of her sword fall towards the ground. It was still a foreign object in her hand, she still felt clumsy holding it and attempting to move with it. This was nothing like what General Kohler had taught her. Having everything change was really difficult.
Masamiria laughed out loud. “Yes, young one, it is.”
“Go get some rest and don’t think too hard about all of this. Let your mind come to terms with this on its own. Don’t force it.” Jorian said, dismissing her.
“So…”
“No questions. Off you go.” Jorian reached out and took her sword from her, his hand shooing her out.
Sarannya soaked in the tub. The room had been empty, so she had quickly gotten in. It was amazing to have the hot water on her skin after so long without her bath at home. She was a bit dismayed at how small the tub was. She could not actually stretch her legs all the way out. There was also a sign that specifically told the girls to change the water after each bath. Under no circumstances were they to save the water. Why would anyone save the water or bathe in water that was already used? The mere thought of that made her skin crawl.
She laid her head back on a rolled up towel and closed her eyes. She opened them seconds later, feeling hands lightly touch her shoulders. Not far away, sitting on a small stool was the girl that had helped to serve breakfast. She had soft red hair and pale green eyes that were bright with life. Not the fake bright that many tried to use to hide the unhappiness and deadness that existed in them.
“I am Ivana. Matriarch Kalina wanted me to make sure that you are okay and to help take care of you. If there is anything that you need…”
Sarannya smiled, only feeling a bit self-conscious. She was used to having servants around to help her get dressed, but usually she bathed alone. There was a brief pause in her response as she remembered this was a whorehouse and the bathing room was shared by all the girls. “When is the best time to bathe? To avoid the other girls. I do no…I don’t want to be in the way.” Sarannya turned to get her towel, but it was gone.
“Here it is.” Ivana had stood and moved towards the tub, holding the towel out. It was large and looked very soft. It was going to be much better than the small rag she had been wiping down with on the trail.
Sarannya turned and smiled nicely, but she was slightly irritated. “Thank you.” She stood up out of the bath, taking the towel and wrapping it around her body. She moved towards where her clothes were piled.
“I can have those washed and pressed for you while you are sleeping if you like?” Ivana had stepped back to give Sarannya room. She was a bit taller than Sarannya and just as curvy. They could have been sisters.
“That would be amazing.” Sarannya stopped, realizing that she did not have any money. “I don’t think that I can pay you. So I…” She stopped again, not knowing what to say or do. How was she going to get money?
Ivana laughed. It was a musical sound that lightened the air around her. “You are the General’s student and guest. You do not have to pay for anything. I will take care of those. I will have them waiting for you outside your door in the morning.” She gracefully walked over and picked up Sarannya’s clothes. She pointed to a robe that was hanging on the wall. “You can wear that back to your room. You are going to love it.” She smiled again.
“Are you a maid here? Is this what you do?” Sarannya asked, uncertain, and becoming more uncertain as Ivana laughed.
“No. Only for you.” She smiled again and moved to the hanging robe. She pulled it from the wall and handed it to Sarannya. Still giggling at Sarannya’s shock, she turned and left the room almost as quietly as she had come.
Sarannya just sighed. There was just no way to know how, or how not to respond. She felt at such a disadvantage, having not spent time among normal people. She dropped the towel and shrugged on the robe. It was amazingly soft, and it felt good on her skin. It was not quite as nice as her robes at home, but this was still pretty good.
Stepping out into the hall to go back to her room, she could hear music from down below in the common room, and she began to hear the grunts and groans from the various rooms as she passed them. She quickly went to her room and closed the door. It was blessedly quiet. She had never thought of herself as a prude, but here she was blushing like a young school girl.
“I am a young girl,” she said to herself. She sat on the bed. She still had so much to write in her own journal.
But, she was asleep as soon as she lay down. She even forgot to pull up the bed covers.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Morning came early, and Sarannya could barely open her eyes. She was so tired. Her whole body hurt. Her lamp was lit, as it was still dark outside. She noticed that she was covered by the blankets. She couldn’t remember getting beneath them the night before.
“You need to get up. The General is waiting for you downstairs, with the blacksmith and Kiril. Breakfast will be served soon.” Ivana’s voice had a motherly quality to it.
Sarannya groaned, and rolled over. “Why are you in my room?”
“Come on sleepy head. You have to get up.” Ivana kept shaking Sarannya, and then just pulled the covers off.
Sarannya sat up pretty quickly, the cold air hitting her body. Her robe was in disarray, and she tucked it back together. “Damn it.”
“Your clothes are right next to you, and I have put a cup of coffee on your desk. Get dressed, and I will be back in a few minutes to help you with your hair.” Ivana patted Sarannya on the shoulder and then quickly left the room, picking up a pile of towels and what looked like lingerie that had been hastily set down in her doorway.
Sarannya quickly got up and began to dress. She noticed that her clothes were clean and pressed. They smelled like fresh flowers. She breathed in their scent while tying her top. Once she was finished dressing, she sat down at her desk. It was small with an even smaller mirror, but it did have a nice surface for writing — although, her journal was still in her pack. She had forgotten to write. Well, she would have to do that later, when she had time. “If that ever happens,” she laughed to herself.
