The Wedding Deal, page 14
“Help my baby” she had cried her voice full of the terror she was feeling as Fiona had soothed her gently, trying to calm her.
“Its fine……..don’t panic……..it will be fine”
she had spoken gently, her voice trying to be calm but not able to hide the quiver of panic within it.
Tessa had felt herself panting as the pain had risen to a crescendo, before again subsiding, before once more slamming into her, fear filling her as tears had ran unchecked down her face. She had clung onto the hand of the woman watching her with such sympathy in her eyes as she had cried out, her voice almost inaudible.
“Please save my baby”
By the time the ambulance had arrived there had been no relief from the pain, no longer did it rise and fall in waves, but was now one continuous sensation of hurt. She was hardly conscious as they had strapped her to the gurney and quickly transported her to the hospital strapping oxygen to her face as she had panted for breath, groaning with the extreme pain she was experiencing.
At the hospital she had quickly been changed into a night gown and given an injection which had blessedly stopped the pain allowing her to breath and think clearly as she was able to give her name and address information to the nurse who had looked after her. The woman had gently squeezed her hand as she had ignored all Tessa’s questions about her baby, choosing instead to encourage her to lie still, to relax as she had felt the drugs she had been given calming her, making her feel sleepy.
As the doctor had approached her bedside, she had listened to him his words making her whole insides so cold, her mind trying to grasp the meaning of what he was saying, as he softly and kindly had told her that she had lost the precious life that only that morning gave her so much joy. She had felt as tears had slid down her cheeks as soundlessly she had continued listening.
“We have to carry out a procedure Tessa” he had said gently, his expression kindly but sombre “To make sure that in the future, when you fall pregnant again that you will have no complications”
Tessa could only say one word as she had looked back with eyes which were so dead.
“When?”
She had noticed as the doctor was joined by two nurses as he had looked more serious.
“Now Tessa, we need to take you down right away”
She had felt panic rise within her as she had grasped the arm of one of the women beside her.
“Where is my husband….. where is Alexis?” she had cried out, as the woman had taken her hand patting it softly.
“He is on his way” she had said gently, reassuringly.
Tessa had laid back, her eyes blurred with tears, wishing that he was there at that moment, that he was holding her telling her that everything would be OK.
As she had been pushed down the long corridor all she could remember later was seeing the lights as they seemed to count down to the point at which she had found herself in the small pre-operating room. She had been told to count down backwards, her last memory being the word 7 before blissful sleep had taken her.
Tessa lay on the bed, her hand gently stroking her stomach, feeling as the tears had welled up before spilling silently down her cheek. She cried for her child, the child that would never be, her heart breaking with the intensity of her loss. Inside she felt empty, felt the small life within her gone, and she wanted it back, she wanted her and Alexis’s child back. Curling up she had allowed the emotions to wash over her, to let the sobs wrack her body. She had not heard as the door had opened, starting in surprise as arms had pulled her round, pulled her tight in against a hard broad chest, her arms entwining around the neck of the man she loved.
“Oh Alexis” she had cried as he had whispered softly to her in Greek, his voice so soothing to her emotional pain. He had held her to him as she had sobbed, the whole time rocking her like the baby she had lost.
Finally she had pulled back slightly to look into his face, seeing the hurt in his eyes too, the hurt of his lost child she had thought to herself, her hands gently moving to stroke his cheek.
“I’m so sorry” she had whispered, seeing as he had shaken his head.
“No Cara, you should never feel sorry…….you loved this child as much as I…….there was nothing we could have done” he had whispered gently, his voice breaking slightly.
“Sometimes bad things happen and there is nothing we can do about it”
Seeing as she had nodded gently, her eyes once more filling with tears. As beautiful as he had always found Tessa, with her eyes blotched with tears, her lips quivering and her whole countenance so vulnerable he had never thought her more beautiful than at that moment. He had once more pulled her into his arms, both of them comforting each other, clinging to the other. As the minutes had passed the drugs that the nurse had given Tessa to sleep, had finally done their job, and she had drifted into unconsciousness in his arms, her face still etched with the loss of her beloved child. Gently he had lifted her hand holding it to his cheek as he had sat watching her.
Chapter Ten
As her eyes had fluttered open the realisation of all that had happened the day before had hit her. Once more the pain had filled her as her eyes had scanned the room. Frowning slightly she had seen a jacket over the plush chair beside the bed. Tessa had instantly recognised it as one of Alexis’s, her eyes looking around to find him, the fluttering of hope settling into disappointment at his not being there. With a pang of hurt she realised that he must have left it the previous night, feeling the tears sliding down her cheek as she had felt so alone.
Raising herself up, Tessa had looked briefly at her watch grimacing at seeing the time. She had never slept till ten but given the events of the previous evening had not been surprised, knowing that her body needed to heal itself. Closing her eyes in dread she had heard the one voice she had least wanted to hear before she had seen the man himself, hearing the arrogant tones of her grandfather as he had demanded a nurse to take him to see his granddaughter.
As he had moved into the room she had looked warily at the man watching her, his eyes assessing and speculative, with no sign of empathy for her position.
“What are you doing here?” she had finally managed, seeing as he had snorted.
“When you collapsed, they found my name and phone number in your bag, on the invite” he had replied, before smiling evilly.
“So Tessa, seems your usefulness is not over, we should have another talk soon about Alexis helping more with my costs”
Tessa had felt the shock fill her as she fought back the tears.
“I just lost my baby………..and you come here to………….”
Tessa had been unable to finish, as the emotions had overwhelmed her, the man before her caring nothing for the emotional turmoil she was in.
With another shrivelling look he had sneered.
“What good are you Tessa; you couldn’t even give him a child?”
seeing as she had cringed, the pain of her loss causing her to choke on his words, unable to respond to his cruel taunt.
“Even that slut of a mother of yours was able to produce a child” he had hurled at her, his eyes racking her not caring how vulnerable or fragile she looked. Feeling the tears once more prickling her already stinging eyes she had dropped her head, quickly raising it again as the angry whiplash voice of Alexis had filled the air.
“Get the hell away from my wife John” seeing as her grandfather had jumped in surprise, his attitude changing dramatically.
“Ah Alexis” he had smiled, his eyes flicking nervously from Tessa “Didn’t know you were here”
“That is clearly obvious” Alexis had responded, his voice barely containing the anger in it.
“We just lost our child, and you come here and say that to her” he had bit out, his whole body rigid with emotion.
John had looked over at Tessa, not even trying to hide his contempt for her.
“I told you that she was the wrong granddaughter. Marcie would still make a better mother, would certainly be able to produce a child” he had bit out as Alexis had moved closer to him, towering angrily over the older man.
“Get the hell out of here John, and don’t EVER come back” he had growled, making the other man snarl back.
“I warned you about her Alexis…….you knew she only married you to save another man”
Gasping Tessa had looked over at Alexis, seeing as he had looked quickly back at her.
“Out” he had said so softly, his tone clearly implying a threat not lost on John, who had given her one more contemptuous look before leaving the room.
Finally alone husband and wife had looked at each other warily, before rubbing his hand across his unshaven chin Alexis had moved to sit on the chair beside her, his voice now gentle.
“How are you feeling?” his eyes not meeting hers, as she had looked at him, a myriad of emotions running across her face.
“You knew” she had whispered softly, her voice cracking slightly with emotion.
Seeing as he had nodded.
“You never said”
With a small sigh he had finally looked at her, his expression one of both anger and pain.
“Say what Tessa, that I knew that my wife had only married me to save the man she loved from going to jail……a married man. That she had sold herself for a million dollars”
Shaking her head she had moaned softly.
“No Alexis, you have it all wrong” she had groaned with pain, reaching out her hand to him.
Seeing the coldness entering his eyes as he had moved away from her reach.
“This is not the time for this conversation Tessa” he had said standing.
“Please, we have enough to deal with right now”
Tessa had shaken her head, suddenly needing to tell him everything, shocked that he had known about Andrew the whole time.
“Alexis…….we need to…….” she had implored as he had shaken his head.
“No……no we don’t… and certainly not now” he had stated,
With a determined motion, he had pulled his jacket from the chair, pulling it back on with quick angry movements, not looking at Tessa, who lay on the bed, so small and vulnerable he had thought to himself. After a few seconds of silence between them as she had watched his back as he faced away from her, he seemed to once more gain control of his emotions, as he had turned to look down on his wife. His expression now more gentle.
“It doesn’t matter Tessa” he had said softly “Right now all that matters is that you feel better”
Tessa had dropped her head, the tears once more rising to her eyes.
“I have arranged for you to be brought home, you will be more comfortable there” he had said gently as she had looked up, giving a small nod of thanks, not wanting to be in the sterile hospital, wanting to be in familiar surroundings
“Thank you” she had managed, seeing as he had looked back at her, the pain still so evident in his eyes
“I have to go” he had said gently, moving forward to drop a kiss on her head. Tessa had wanted to throw her arms around him, to tell him how much she loved him and to feel him holding her in his arms as he had done the night before. Her heart had broken further as he had stood, and turning abruptly had moved out of the room, leaving her once more alone.
True to his word she had been collected from the hospital by Mrs Lowe, who had fussed over her on their return. She had insisted that the younger woman go straight to bed to rest, providing her with a cup of tea which Tessa had sipped with relish. Finally, she had begged for some time on her own as Mrs Lowe had hovered around her, seeing as the woman had smiled gently before reaching over and softly patting her hand suddenly so serious.
“Don’t worry Tessa…..you are young. In years to come this will be a bad memory as you watch your children run around you”
Tessa had smiled back, nodding softly, seeing the kindness and sincerity from the older woman.
“Thank you Mrs Lowe…..for everything” she had responded hugging the woman who had finally left her alone and lying down she had almost instantly fallen into a deep sleep.
Several hours later Tessa had woken, seeing the hazy half light filling the room as the sun had slowly sunk down, filling the area with red and orange shadows. Pushing the covers from her she had moved to the shower, taking her time to let the water soak over her body, once more missing the child that only the day before had been such a beacon of hope in her life. As the tears had again slid down her cheek, she had taken time to let some tranquility fill her once more.
Moving downstairs Mrs Lowe had appeared as she was just moving from the last step
“Tessa………go back to bed…… you need rest” the older woman had said, her tone maternal and concerned.
With a small smile on her face Tessa had shaken her head.
“No …. please…I can’t stay in that bed any longer………all I do is think… about……..” her voice had cracked gently, as the woman had looked sadly at her.
“I’m sorry my dear………..come and get something to eat”
The last thing Tessa felt like doing was eating, still feeling sick from all that had gone on, but the thought of a cup of tea making her smile gently.
“I would love a drink” she had replied, trying to smile at the woman before her, not aware of how haunted her eyes looked. As they were seated at the kitchen table, both sipping softly at their hot beverages, Tessa had frowned.
“Where is Alexis?” she had asked, seeing how Mrs Lowe had avoided her eyes, her voice taking on an unnatural brightness.
“Oh……..he had to go into the office; some problem came up……..so he and Clara had to go deal with it”
The mention of Clara Laing’s name had crashed down hard in the pit of her stomach, as she realised that he had found comfort in the loss of their child in the arms of his mistress. She had felt the tears rising once more, clutching the cup harder against her hand, the pain of the hot liquid through the cup stopping the tears from flowing.
Mrs Lowe however, had seen the wetness, misconstruing it as her once more thinking about the baby.
“Oh Tessa, I wish I could say anything that would make this easier” she had said softly, placing her hand over the younger woman’s. Giving a small smile Tessa had nodded gently.
“I know”
At that moment the phone had rung, and a few moments later Mrs Lowe had returned with it, smiling.
“It’s Alexis for you” she had said handing the phone over and disappearing to leave her alone to talk to her husband.
His voice had sounded weary as he had asked how she was feeling. Tessa had replied vaguely that she was fine, her whole being wanting to scream to him that she felt broken, felt that her heart had been torn from her chest and that he was the main reason, but she had remained silent, giving curt short replies to his stilted questions. Finally he had cleared his throat,
“There is a problem in France, I have to go…I’m not sure how long I will be away” she had heard the uncertainty in his voice, an almost reluctance.
“Oh” She had said “Just you?” hearing him hesitate.
“No, Clara is coming too……..she has been involved in most of the negotiations so far”
Tessa could feel the tears silently flowing down her face.
“OK……..I understand” she had managed, her voice almost emotionless.
“Tessa……..” she could hear a strange tone to his voice, as she had forced a smile on her face, forcing her voice to sound more upbeat than she felt.
“It’s OK……….I understand, you have business to deal with……..really go”
In the background she could hear a voice, a woman’s voice recognising it instantly as that of Clara, the white searing pain of jealousy stabbing through her.
“I have to go” he had said, his attention already elsewhere she knew, as she had said goodbye to him.
Holding the phone in her hand, her eyes had looked sightlessly at it. She could see him in the arms of the stunning French woman, his mistress. See him kissing her in the way he had kissed her, their bodies joined together, as they made love. She had been a fool, a stupid fool. Tessa felt destroyed. Her whole life had been full of pain and loss, but she had never known such misery as she did right at that moment. She felt the loss of her child and that of the man she loved, the cold hurt seeping deep into every pore, the tears drying as she hardened her heart to all the hurt and pain crashing down on her.
For the next two weeks, life had slowly returned to normal. Each day she would receive a phone call from Alexis, as he repeated that he was not sure how long he would be away, his voice apologetic as she imagined him making love to Clara. Each day the two had swapped polite conversation for a few moments, the silences filled with tension that neither seemed prepared to break.
While physically Tessa had mended, emotionally she was still in tatters and had thrown herself into her work, spending each day at the new studio overseeing each day’s progress. Things were moving along at break-neck speed, and Tessa was sure that the studio would be ready to open by the beginning of the new session, not able to feel any excitement about that thought, her spirit so cold. She seemed to move in an almost dream like state, and each day Mrs Lowe had looked at her with concern, tutting at how little she ate.
“You eat less than a sparrow” she had chided “You will end up making yourself sick”
However, Tessa had only dropped a small kiss on the woman’s cheek.
“Thank you for caring” she had added with a small sad smile.
Towards the end of Alexis having been away for two weeks, Tessa had looked around the kitchen, half-heartedly wondering what to make for dinner, before giving up, the thought of food unappealing. It was Mrs Lowe’s day off, and as usual she had gone to visit her sister, and the house seemed quiet and empty, just as she felt. As the phone had rang, she had picked it up wearily, feeling her spirits rise on hearing Andrew’s voice.
“Hey….” he had cried his voice happy “How is married life treating you?”
