Newton (Cerberus MC Book 31), page 21
I heard the tail end of their conversation as I approached, and I had already formulated my words to explain she doesn't have to work if she doesn't want to.
"Schoolwork," she says, scrunching up her nose as if she's disgusted by the idea of it, but I know better.
"It'll give you something to do while I'm on patrol or at work," I say. "I know you don't like to be bored."
"Do you know how many shows there are that I haven't seen? That Supernatural series has like twelve seasons."
"It has fifteen seasons, and I thought we agreed to watch it together," I argue as I step into her, making her take backward steps toward the bed.
She shrugs as if she couldn't be bothered to wait for me, but her tone changes as she squeals when I push her gently onto the bed.
We're facing a lot of uncertainty, but we have to find the joy and normalcy where we can.
It was decided before Cerberus left Ohio, that Hemlock was going to spearhead the new chapter closer to the East Coast. He couldn't risk being seen traveling back with us.
We had a meeting, and it was discussed that despite the possibility that he might've been seen with us, Jericho found a list of businesses they can't make heads or tails of. Ace and his crew don't know if the places listed are trafficking women or if they've just been marked as easy places to pull women from.
Either way, Hemlock was headed to Tennessee to see what he could figure out, having to hit the ground running with very little time to prepare.
"I think I can be convinced to wait and watch it with you," Brielle whispers as she reaches for the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it over my head in the next breath. "I don't know that I'll ever get used to all the muscles. You work out and all these sexy veins show up."
A river of cold chills follows her fingers down my arms.
"I work out with you, and I just want to eat my weight in carbohydrates."
"You'll find a happy medium," I explain. "Plus, maybe you're eating for two."
I roll my hips, but she doesn't smile. Instead, she presses both of her palms to my chest and wiggles out from under me.
"No," I tell her when she gives me her back. "We're not doing this. You told me that I can be honest with you at all times."
"And I promised to try and not freak out."
"So you're freaking out?"
She shakes her head, looking down at me when I climb off the bed and settle at her feet.
"Talk to me," I urge.
Tears stain her cheeks before she's able to speak. I wipe them away with my thumbs, hating that she just can't let herself be loved. It makes me hate Nathan with the fire of a million suns.
"I can't have children."
I freeze at her words, not expecting them at all.
"Okay," I say quickly, maybe a little too quickly.
"I had a procedure done after leaving Ohio last year. I couldn't risk--"
I cup her face. "I know what was at risk. This changes nothing for me."
"You want babies," she says, on the verge of sobbing.
"I want you, baby."
Her eyes search mine, and I know there's a damaged part of her that is telling her she still can't trust me. I also know that I have enough faith in us to be strong when she can't be.
I press my lips to hers, urging her back and covering her body with mine.
"You won't change your mind?" she asks against my lips.
"Never," I vow.
"I'm going to need you to prove it," she says, and there isn't a hint of humor in her voice.
"I will," I promise, knowing with every cell in my body that I will die loving this woman. I can only hope that I get many, many years before that happens.
Her fingernails dig into my back when I press my mouth to hers, and I swallow down the moan that erupts from hers when I roll my hips against her center.
I pull away just enough so I can run my lips down her neck, nipping at the lobe of her ear before pressing a sweet kiss to the necklace at her throat. The blue topaz sparkles in the early afternoon sunlight coming in through the window. It was found left behind in the bathroom at the courthouse, and the way it was discarded, it felt like she gave up the very last piece of me she had, but I now know that she thought she had to walk away completely in order to have any hope of being safe. She couldn't take any part of me with her.
"I love you," I whisper against her breast, my tongue snaking out to lap at her nipple.
She arches her back, her hands searching for the zipper of my jeans.
God, I want to go slow and feast on her. I want to spend hours worshipping her body. The rest of my life, no matter how long it is, won't be long enough to show her how much I love her.
She hasn't said it back, but I feel it in her touch, in the way she reaches for me in the night. I feel in the way she searches a room for me the second she steps inside.
"Get those off," she growls, making me chuckle at her own urgency.
"I was hoping we could go slow and sweet," I say as I stand on the side of the bed, shifting my weight from one foot to the other as I kick off my boots, simultaneously shoving my jeans and boxer briefs down my legs.
"Careful," she growls when I tip to one side and have to correct my positioning. "If you fall over, I'm still going to ride your cock. I don't care if you're bleeding."
She screeches when I grab her leg and tug her down the bed, her smile wide.
"Is that so?" I ask, working her leggings down her legs.
She nods as she pulls off her own shirt before unhooking and discarding her bra.
She is absolutely gorgeous, from the top of her head to the tips of her pink painted toenails, courtesy of a spa day she had the other day with Devyn.
I pull her up and she easily wraps her legs around me. I fight the urge to press her to the wall and shove inside of her because I listen to context clues. She told me how she wanted me, and I'll do anything to make her happy.
Her hair forms an umbrella of sorts around our faces when I drop back on the bed.
"You're insane," she says, her smile even wider.
"Insane about you."
She rolls her eyes at the corniness, her mood shifting right back to where we both need it when I lift my hands and cup both of her breasts.
"I hate how easily I'm ready for you," she says, but I can tell she really isn't complaining.
"Same," I tell her, moving her back a few inches so she can feel how hard my cock is.
"It's not the same. You're always hard."
"And you're always wet."
I lift her an inch and watch with my mouth hanging open as she grips the base of my cock, positioning it at her entrance.
We moan simultaneously as she glides easily down my cock.
"Fucking heaven," I groan.
She licks her lips, eyes locked on mine, as she rocks back and forth, taking a moment to adjust to me so deep inside of her.
"Is this part of the forever you promised?"
"Yes," I pant. "God, yes."
She rolls her hips, somehow doing exactly everything I need, but I get the feeling she could just stare at my cock without touching it and it would set me on edge.
I grip her hips, urging her up and down faster, before taking handfuls of her ass.
"Eyes on me," I urge when her eyelids grow heavy.
There have been times she gets lost in her head, and after confessing this to me, I make it a point to keep her in the moment with me as best as I can.
"Love you," I whisper just as my cock kicks inside of her.
Her teeth dig into her lower lip with the words, her body convulsing around mine.
I know there will come a time when she says them back. Until then, I'll keep listening to them in the ways she's able to tell me.
Chapter 40
Brielle
I knew when I left Ohio I could never go back to Nathan the same way I left him.
But it wasn't until I allowed myself to believe that Beck really loved me that I regretted making sure I could never provide Nathan Adair with an heir.
Watching all the kids run around the clubhouse with noise makers wearing sparkly glasses as they celebrate New Year's makes my gut swim with regret.
"We could get a dog," Beck offers, knowing where my mind is as I watch Gigi's oldest daughter help her little brother try to figure out the toy he was given earlier in the day.
"Allergic," I say, but then I freeze and turn toward him. "But that was something I was always told, so there's a chance I'm not."
"Jinx has a dog. It's been staying across the street with Drew and Izzy. We can find out tomorrow."
I love how this man just rolls with the punches. I also think he'd give me anything he has the power to acquire.
I press my lips to his.
"I think this is going to be the best year of my life," I tell him.
"And I think every year after will only get better. You and me, baby. That's all we need."
We chat and dance to the music playing softly from the jukebox in the corner as kids and parents make their way all over the clubhouse.
I grin at Beth when she and Oracle dance close to us.
She lied to me, but only in the best way. I still have a few classes left to complete, but we're already friends. We didn't have to wait until I graduated.
I take a moment to look around the room. There are so many happy couples here tonight. Everyone has a smile on their face. I don't see one upset person or anyone I would suspect of having plans on ruining such a perfect evening, and that's a huge change from every other gathering I've been to before coming to Cerberus.
I've been welcomed with open arms, and even though there are days that I struggle, I know that Beck's confidence in me will not waver. He's as solid as a rock and able to carry me when I'm too weak with regret and fear to walk on my own. He never gets frustrated to carry the weight and is always quick to ask me if there's more that he can do. More often than not, all I need is his arms around me and him repeating those words I've been too afraid to speak in fear that it will be the catalyst that ruins everything we have.
"You've got something on your mind," he whispers.
"And so do you," I say, bumping up against the evidence of where his mind is.
"That's your fault," he says, no hint of accusation in his tone.
"My fault?" I scoff.
"Shouldn't be so sexy," he says, shrugging his shoulders just before pulling me closer.
"There are children here," I argue.
"And so long as you stay right where you are then no one will be the wiser."
I pretend like I'm going to take a step away, making his hand slide from my back to my ass. He grips a handful before moving it back to a respectable place.
"We should go to the room."
"We'll miss the countdown," I tell him.
"The countdown isn't for another hour and a half. I can fuck you twice in that amount of time and still have time for foreplay and aftercare." He waggles his eyebrows in that comical way that always makes me laugh.
"Be strong," Beth says just before squealing when Oracle spins her away from us.
We've had more than one conversation about how hungry our men are for us, and we jokingly agreed to hold out for forty-eight hours.
I could tell by the pink in her cheeks at breakfast and the way she couldn't look me in the eye that she didn't even last twelve hours.
"Want to explain that?" Beck asks as he spins me closer to the mouth of the hallway.
"No," I tell him, then roll my lips between my teeth.
It won't keep me from confessing if he really wants to know.
"Tell me," he says.
"I love you."
We freeze mid-spin.
My throat threatens to seize as he blinks down at me before leaning in closer.
"I love you, too, baby," he says, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.
I was afraid he'd make a big production out of it, but I think he handled it in the perfect way.
I lean my head on his shoulder, reveling in the fact that the clubhouse isn't hit with a nuclear weapon. Nathan doesn't jump from behind the bar and start shooting everyone.
My confession doesn't ruin anything.
We dance and laugh, holding each other closely, but the bliss only lasts about fifteen minutes before Beck stiffens in my arms.
"What's wrong?" he says, and I turn to see Kincaid walking toward the conference room with Shadow, his VP right behind him.
"Hemlock was stabbed," Kincaid says.
"Fuck," Beck snaps. "What are we going to do?"
Kincaid looks at me as if I'm the one who asked the question before looking up at Beck and answering.
"Nothing. He's no longer part of the club."
Cerberus is branching out!
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Marie James, Newton (Cerberus MC Book 31)
