Wild and Wicked, page 19
“Shit,” she murmured to herself. She couldn’t keep doing this, obsessing over what Elio may or may not feel for her. That way was sure to lead to madness.
All she could do was own up to her emotions, admit that she’d let herself fall head over ass in love with Elio…with Liza’s brother…with the playboy NHL star who would never return her feelings because he’d fallen in love a long, long time ago…with hockey.
“Let it go,” she muttered to herself.
She pulled into the parking lot behind her building, then walked upstairs to her apartment. Dropping her laptop on the dining room table, she headed for the kitchen but stopped halfway. She didn’t feel like cooking tonight.
She should be elated, ready to paint the town red. After all, she had just landed her dream job. That called for a celebration.
But she was just too damn tired. She’d been sluggish for the better part of the last two weeks. At first, she’d thought she was coming down with the killer flu bug that had run rampant through work, but no other symptoms appeared. Then she chalked it up to stress over the meeting with Gio and Rafe.
Now she was concerned that perhaps it ran much deeper than that because the feeling wasn’t going away.
Depression? Maybe.
Loneliness? Less likely but possible.
Heartbreak? Ding ding ding. We have a winner.
She’d gone to the cabin to sort herself out, not jump from the frying pan into the fire, trading one broken heart with Sam’s name on it for another with Elio’s.
Liza had been trying—unsuccessfully—for weeks to get Gianna to set up an online dating profile. Something she’d been resistant to do. Now, she was thinking perhaps it was time to take the leap.
Besides, she was running out of excuses. No one would ever accuse Liza of being a quitter because she just kept coming back.
Gianna eyeballed her couch, debating skipping dinner. Her stomach vetoed that idea by rumbling hungrily.
Back when she and Sam had dated, Wednesday nights had been pizza night, when they would walk the two blocks to Sal’s and split a pie. She had continued that tradition without Sam for a few weeks after their split, always hoping she’d run into him. Looking back now, she could see just how pitiful she’d been.
“Ugh,” she muttered. “Enough.”
She didn’t want to think about Sam any more than Elio. Although, while thoughts of Elio made her sad, memories of Sam no longer made her feel anything—no more anger, sadness, nothing.
“Hmmm…” she mused. “Maybe you’re celebrating more than one thing tonight,” she suggested to herself, when she realized that in addition to landing her dream job, she was finally over Sam.
“Go me,” she said, offering herself a little cheer.
Grabbing a warm jacket and her purse, she walked the two blocks to Sal’s, smiling to herself when she got close enough to smell the garlicky pizza sauce, pleased she’d decided to make the effort. The crisp, chilly air was perking her up and she didn’t feel so exhausted anymore.
She made a mental note to add “take a walk” to her daily routine.
“You’re late,” the owner, Sal, called out cheerfully to her when she walked in.
Gianna frowned, confused.
Late for what?
Glancing around, she suddenly understood when she spotted Sam, sitting alone, a whole large pizza on the table before him. From his chagrined expression, she realized he wasn’t here by chance.
“Sam,” she said, walking over to him. “Let me guess, large pepperoni, mushroom, and onion?”
He nodded. She could see she’d taken him aback with her civil tone. Their last meeting had been a hell of a lot more contentious. Of course, he had broken into her apartment—two days in a row.
“I haven’t been here since…” He fell silent, not bothering to say the rest.
“Since we split up,” she finished for him. She didn’t mention she knew that, that she’d come here too many Wednesdays hoping to see him.
“At the time, I was worried about running into you,” he admitted.
“Yeah. I guess it could have been awkward bumping into me with Emma by your side. Oh, wait…” She laughed at her own joke, and Sam gave her a curious look, aware that the anger that had been there when he’d broken into her apartment was gone.
“Emma didn’t know about you until that night at the mall.”
Gianna nodded. She’d figured that out on her own.
“It was why she dumped me,” Sam continued. “Kicked me out of her apartment. She was pissed I’d lied to her, said that I’d been cheating on both of you.”
“I’m suddenly feeling some respect for Emma.”
Sam sighed sadly. “I shouldn’t have come here. I don’t know why I did. I’ll get Sal to box up the pizza and go.”
Gianna waved him off. “You don’t have to do that. I don’t own Sal’s. You can eat here whenever you want.” She looked down at his pizza, wondering how many hundreds of that exact same pie they’d shared over the years.
“If you wanted…you could…sit with…” He gestured at the food. “I mean, it is a large.”
She should say no. She knew that, but loneliness is an invasive thing, preying on a person. She was tired of eating alone, tired of talking to herself.
Tonight was a celebration. She got the dream job. And she had turned the corner on Sam, once and for all.
Gianna pulled out the chair across from him, raising one finger in warning. “This doesn’t mean anything,” she said. “To quote Taylor Swift, ‘We are never ever getting back together.’”
Sam laughed. “Yeah, I can see that. You’re different. You’ve changed.”
His words weren’t an insult. Instead, he was looking at her with something resembling respect.
They both grabbed a slice of pizza, and Sal came over with her standard drink order, a glass of Diet Coke. The entire moment felt completely familiar yet totally strange at the same time.
“So you were living with Emma?” she asked.
Sam nodded. “Yeah.”
“And what about now?”
He grimaced. “I’ve moved back home with my parents.”
She understood that probably wasn’t where any twenty-six-year-old wanted to be, but it wasn’t a terrible thing. His parents were cool.
“Things with me and my mom have been rough.”
“Why?” she asked.
Sam looked at her like the answer should be obvious. “Because of you. She loved you, and she never really warmed up to Emma. She’s still pissed at me for being such a dumbass.”
Gianna grinned. “Your mom is the best.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Rub it in. You know how she is, Gee. She’s determined to make my life a living hell.”
“What’s she doing? And don’t leave out any of the good stuff.”
Sam shook his head. “You’re a heartless woman.” But then, he gave her the list she’d requested, and it made her very happy. “She’s treating me like I’m sixteen again, bitching about my messy room, the dishes I leave in the sink, the times I come in too late. I gotta find my own place. And soon.”
She didn’t bother to hide her smirk, then helped herself to another slice. The least the bastard owed her was some pizza. They fell silent for a few minutes, but it wasn’t awkward. There was too much history between them. Too many years as best friends, roommates, lovers.
And yet, as she sat here, all she could think about was that she’d never missed Sam the way she had missed Elio these past few weeks.
“So how are you? How’s work?” Sam asked.
Gianna told him about the new job, and he lifted his glass of soda, the two of them toasting her success. He told her about his latest project. It was an easy conversation between two old friends.
Right up until he said, “I miss you.”
“Sam,” she said, sighing.
“I know it’s over,” he quickly added. “I know I fucked up beyond all repair. It’s just…”
“Over,” she said, stressing the word. “It’s just over. We weren’t heading in the same direction. If you open your eyes and really look at the last couple of years we were together, it’s obvious. Some people grow together. Some grow apart. I turned left.”
He gave her a sad smile. “And I turned right.”
“I’ve moved on, Sam, and you will too.”
“Moved on? Does that mean you’re—”
She narrowed her eyes and cut him off. “My personal life is none of your business.”
He sighed. “Yeah. You’re right. It’s not. I shouldn’t have asked.”
They finished most of the pizza, Sam asking for a doggy bag for the last two pieces. Sal boxed them up and Sam handed her the box after paying. “Here,” he said. “For your lunch tomorrow. I know how much you love leftover pizza.”
“Thanks.” They left the restaurant together. She stopped on the curb to say goodbye, but Sam gestured toward her apartment. “My car is parked your direction, on the next block.”
They walked together. Gianna stopped when she spotted his car, surprised she hadn’t noticed it on her way to Sal’s.
“I’ll walk you the whole way,” he said.
“It’s just a block, Sam. You don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I’m going to anyway.”
She knew what this was. Felt it as strongly as he did.
This was it. The end.
They stopped outside her apartment building, and she turned to face him. “So…” she started.
He gave her a smile. “You know I’m always going to love you.”
She blinked a few times, determined that she wasn’t going to cry as she looked at his sad, beloved face. Sam had been her first love. They’d been children when they met, and they’d grown into adulthood together.
“I know.” Perhaps if more time had gone by, she could have offered him those same words back, but the wounds, though healing, were still too fresh. “Goodbye, Sam.”
“Goodbye, Gianna.” He opened his arms, but he didn’t reach for her. He let the decision be hers.
She stepped forward, accepting the hug, happy for this closure, even as her thoughts turned to Elio…and how much better his hugs were.
Then she pulled away, gave him a small wave, and walked inside.
Elio sat in his car, watching Gianna and Sam embrace. He’d driven to Philly right after practice this afternoon, anxious to see her and share his news.
Yesterday, he’d signed the paperwork on an investment, one that he’d thought was the perfect plan for his future.
Today, he’d told management that this was his last year. He was hanging up his skates.
Plus…it was his birthday.
Elio had picked up the phone to call her, to share all of it, then decided a trifecta like that was worth a two-hour drive. He’d wanted to see her, talk to her. He was tired of the distance between them. In just a few short months, he would be home for good and he’d hoped…
Elio sighed. Well, he had hoped the two of them could pick up things right where they’d left them in the cabin.
Now…
It was clear Gianna and Sam had been on a date. And while the man hadn’t kissed her good night, Elio could tell he’d wanted to.
In his mind, Sam had made an unforgivable mistake, but everyone’s threshold for forgiveness was different. Eleven years was a long time to date someone. Elio had told Gianna that very thing one morning as they’d talked about her life plans.
She’d shared nearly half her life with Sam. That was a lot of history, a fuck-ton of memories.
All he’d had with her was five days in a cabin. In comparison, it was nothing. Though God knew, to him, it felt like everything.
He’d been a fool to drive here, to think…to think she’d be waiting for him, pining for him. He’d promised her nothing, told her nothing about his feelings.
Meanwhile, Sam had been standing there, right in front of her, wearing his heart on his sleeve. Elio was all the way across the street and even he could see that.
So he couldn’t be angry or hurt that Gianna was back with her ex because at least the jackass had figured out what he’d lost and somehow found a way to make it right.
Elio rested his forehead against the steering wheel and closed his eyes, overwhelmed with a pain he’d never experienced.
Gianna had been the first woman to teach him about falling in love.
And now, she was the one to introduce him to his first broken heart.
He remained there until he found the strength to force himself to move.
Then he started the car and drove back to Baltimore.
Chapter Sixteen
“Hey, man. Just called to see how it’s going and to thank you for the tickets to the game on Sunday. Fucking awesome seats, bro. Everybody flipped. You got us halfway up the lower dome, right between the blue lines.”
Elio smiled at Aldo’s enthusiasm. He typically got his family and friends tickets to the hockey games whenever Baltimore played in Philadelphia, and while the seats were usually pretty good, this time he called in some favors to get them the best seats in the stadium.
“Wanted to make sure you could see all the action. Since…” He paused. He hadn’t told anyone in his family about his decision to leave the game yet. He intended to break the news to everyone this weekend, while he was home for Penny and Gage’s wedding.
“Damn. You did it, didn’t you?” Aldo asked.
Elio sighed. “Yeah. I did. Hanging up my skates. I’m moving back to Philly at the end of the season.”
“I know you said you were thinking about it when we talked over Christmas, but I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d go through with it. Hockey’s been such a huge part of your life, ever since you were a little kid.”
“Hockey’s been my whole life,” Elio amended.
“Yeah. You’re right. It has. So…any regrets?”
It was a fair question and an easy one to answer. “Not a single one.”
“Seriously?”
Aldo’s surprise made sense, mainly because Elio had expected a feeling of “what the fuck did I just do?” to hit him ever since telling management about his intentions. Maybe it would come at some point, but the second he’d pulled the trigger, all the stress he had been suffering while trying to make the decision had just vanished. Poof. Gone.
When he considered moving back to Philly, he was excited by the prospect of doing something new, something different. And if he simply focused on his future from a career point of view, he would even say he was happy.
But that happiness wavered and faded every time he thought about Gianna. He’d spoken to Liza three times since he’d spied Sam and Gianna returning from their date, but she hadn’t mentioned Gianna getting back with her ex. Elio hadn’t been able to figure out a way of asking without revealing his feelings for her, so he’d just let her fill him in on all the gossip, just like she always did, while praying she’d reveal the information he desired.
No such luck.
“No regrets,” Elio reassured his brother. “I plan to tell the family this weekend.”
“Cool,” Aldo said. “I’m glad I won’t have to hold on to that secret for long. It’s a doozy.”
Elio chuckled. He’d told Aldo, perfectly secure in the knowledge that his brother wouldn’t say a word.
His cousin, Joey, was the one they all went to if they wanted to spread news throughout the Moretti family without having to do it themselves. Joey had never kept a secret in his life.
“Yeah, no worries there. I’ll tell the gang at the wedding, then break it to Mom and Dad on Sunday morning.”
“I should tell you Mom will be thrilled you’re quitting. She never worried about you until these last few years when the injuries hit. She was watching the night you got clocked and broke your collarbone. I don’t think she’s seen a game since you’ve gone back.”
Elio didn’t know that, and he appreciated Aldo sharing it with him. It merely reinforced that he’d been right to quit.
“Only a couple more months,” he said. “Our chances of getting into the playoffs are slim to none this year. The team, overall, has just suffered too many injuries.”
“It’s a shame you’re going out like that,” Aldo observed.
Elio didn’t bother to say he didn’t mind either way. He’d been with the team the year they’d won the Stanley Cup, and while he would have loved to end his career that way, it didn’t matter so much to him that he was tempted to stay longer to see if that lightning would strike twice.
“Liza will be glad to have you back too. Since you don’t seem to fall under the same heading as Kayden and me—kings of the overprotective brothers—she’ll no doubt start dragging you out as her wingman.”
Three phone conversations with Liza without a single opening and now, here was Aldo, handing one to him on a silver platter. “I thought Gianna was supposed to fill the space left open when Keeley started dating Gio and Rafe.”
“Yeah, that’s what Liza thought too, but Gianna’s been pretty resistant to putting herself back out there. Liza’s invited her over for dinner several times so that she can help Gianna upload her profile on those stupid online dating sites.”
“She won’t do it?” Elio asked, his curiosity piqued.
“Nope. Gianna just keeps pushing her off, claiming she’s too busy at work, or sick, or wrapped up in planning Penny’s bachelorette party, or helping with the wedding prep.”
Elio had thought it strange that Liza hadn’t mentioned Gianna getting back with Sam, but now it appeared his sister didn’t know. Which made sense. While Gianna had found a way to forgive Sam’s sins, Liza was made of sterner stuff, and there was no way she’d be able to keep her opinion to herself. Obviously, Gianna was trying to put off the inevitable explosion that news would detonate for as long as she could.
And Elio couldn’t blame her for that. Liza was a force to be reckoned with.
“Liza told me a little bit about the bachelorette party the last time she called. Sounds like it was a wild one.”
“Yeah. Kayden, Gio, Rafe, and I all followed their progress on Find My Friends. They hit four bars, and I can only imagine the state they were in when they stumbled out of the last one around three a.m.”
