The East Wind, page 19
“You’re right. That’s very sensible,” Anna-Greta said as she gave him a skewed glance.
But he didn’t notice her. “Alv’s daughter Ingrid has grown up. They say that she’s a little peculiar. That she thinks like a man.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Anna-Greta murmured.
But many of their loved ones have passed away, writes Ulvhedin. Andreas and Gabriella. They married one another in their old age. But they haven’t been buried in the same place. Andreas was buried next to his first wife, Eli, and Gabriella was buried next to Kaleb. Irmelin and Niklas also died during an epidemic so Alv is running both Graastensholm and Linden Avenue. But the house at Elistrand is full: Ulvhedin and Elisa, their son Jon, and Bronja. And old Uncle Tristan also lives there with his Marina.”
“Couldn’t they have divided the estates a little better between them so that they weren’t treading on one another’s heels in one place and shouting across empty, echoing halls in another?”
“That’s entirely up to them. You know that the Ice People are a strong family. My grandmother, Lene, is still alive. She has been a widow for many years. She’s as fit as a fiddle.”
“Yes, last time I saw Widow Stege, she was up on the roof laying new thatch because the farm help was no use. And you also have family in Stockholm, don’t you?”
“Yes, north of Stockholm, but Ulvhedin doesn’t mention them. My mother received a letter from them some time ago. They were all very excited to hear that I had found descendants of the Ice People in Siberia. The family in Norway was excited too, of course. And they all want to help me get into contact with the Taran-gais again. That’s good of them, but what could they possibly do? But anyway ... even though it’s only words, it’s still encouraging.”
“Anything that puts you in a good mood is good,” Anna-Greta said.
“Thank you, it’s kind of you to say so. You’re not exactly generous with your compliments. Yes, the steadfast Villemo is still alive, together with her Dominic. But old Mikael is dead, of course. Villemo’s and Dominic’s son Tengel ... are you still following me?”
“More or less. Yes, I think I’m with you so far. Go on.”
“Tengel is married to Sigrid, whom I hardly remember. And they have a son called Dan who must be grown up by now. God, last time I saw him he was a little snotty-nosed child only a few years old!”
Vendel fell into deep contemplation. The melancholy showed clearly in his eyes. Anna-Greta stopped what she was doing. “Now don’t you sink into any of those unattainable dreams of yours, Master Vendel!” she said. “Yes, we all know that your child must be six years old by now. But how on earth will you ever get the chance to see it? Do you plan to walk back on your stumps?”
“I know Anna-Greta, but I suppose it’s everyone’s dream to leave a mark on the world in the form of a child and watch it grow up. But I won’t get that chance.”
“Oh, it’s not too late yet.”
“Do you mean more children? No one wants a man without feet.”
“The most significant part is still there, I imagine.”
“Anna-Greta! You shock me!!”
“Do I? It was your brain I had in mind.”
Vendel laughed heartily, partially in order to conceal his blushing. “Listen, sometimes you remind me of five small girls I used to know. Everything was so uncomplicated, lush and sensuous. I wonder whether ...”
“Whether what? You’re falling into speculation again.
“No, never mind.” But he gazed at Anna-Greta’s superb figure as she bustled about making him more comfortable and checking that he had everything he needed within reach.
Anna-Greta knew who the five girls were. He had spoken about them shortly after he returned home, when he hit the very bottom of his depression. Of course he hadn’t gone into details, but she understood that they had meant a lot to him, much more than that awful wife whom he spoke of with loathing. The girls had given him something invaluable. And it wasn’t the erotic experience that she understood he had had with them, even though he had never spoken openly about it, but their spontaneity, natural way of being and devotion.
She started when he began to speak again.
“You’re really rather intelligent, Anna-Greta, you should have studied.”
“Me? A servant? Yes, well, that would certainly have given the local farmers something to talk about.”
She didn’t mention that they were already talking – that they said she was more than just a servant to Vendel Grip. That she was probably also assisting him in other ways.
Anna-Greta let them talk. What she and Vendel Grip had together was no one else’s business. The neighbours didn’t need to know about their straightforward and informal way of talking to one another, or about Master Vendel’s depressions which she had to soothe with casual, off-the-cuff remarks and a hearty slap on the back every now and then.
They didn’t need to know about her feeling of inadequacy. About her longing to be a sweet, neat little lady of the manor at whom Master Vendel might cast a second glance.
One had one’s pride, after all!
Chapter 14
“Mum,” Vendel said, around Christmastime. “Should I consider myself to be a married man or not?”
Christiana looked up in anticipation from the pillowcase she was hemming. “No, my dear, you shouldn’t. As far as I understand it, your wedding in the north was pretty informal.”
“It was.”
“And then they made sure to get rid of you. Your so-called bride wasn’t all that interested in continuing the marriage, was she?”
“No, not at all. And I was never really in love with her. Not really.”
“I just don’t understand how that shaman woman could have bewitched you to such a degree that you fell for her daughter. To me it all sounds like something out of a fairy tale.”
“Oh, you don’t know the power of shamanism, Mum! And besides, she herself was one of the Ice People. But I liked Tun-sij, the shaman. And I liked her husband even more. But Sinsiew was a bitch.”
“You shouldn’t use that kind of language, Vendel! But you can safely consider yourself a bachelor. Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason.”
His mother stole a glance at him. “Be careful, my dear,” she said discreetly. “It wouldn’t be appropriate for you to start courting unmarried ladies of noble rank.”
“I’m aware well aware of that, thank you. That was how I got my fingers burned in Tobolsk. No, I wasn’t considering a lady of noble rank at all.”
“Whatever you’re considering, consider it quickly! Because Master Corfitz is already thinking about leaving.”
“To go where?”
“He hasn’t decided yet. Maybe to Gladsax. All the family’s castles have been confiscated by the Crown. But we’re moving with them, that was the master’s final wish.”
Vendel’s eyes had an absent look, and when his mother went on to tell him about the marmalade in the cellar that was starting to go mouldy it was to no avail. He didn’t hear a word of it.
Christiana sighed and gave him a concerned look as he dragged himself out of the door on his crutches.
Vendel went into his room and sat down at his desk, relieved. When he thought back on those long distances he had trekked like that, from the port where the boat had docked all through Sweden, he could barely grasp it. But his wish to return home had been extremely strong.
“Are we worrying ourselves again?” Anna-Greta asked him. She was always nearby.
“Yes. We’re going to move. Had you heard?”
“Yes, but it won’t be so bad. You’ll be fine.”
“But what about the oak tree I planted? And this place that I dreamed about for all those years? ... I can’t leave it all again!”
“Your greatest flaw is that you become sentimental, Master Vendel. Tear everything up by the roots! It doesn’t hurt as much as you think.”
“Are you talking about me or the oak tree?”
“I’m talking about feelings. All the things that tie you to this place. If it were me I’d just be happy to get the chance to see more of the world.”
“But you’ve got the chance now.”
“I’m not moving with you. I’ve only been working as a servant in this house for a little while. It was the lady of the house who asked me to stay until you, Master, had settled down. After that I’ll return home because I am an only child and I am to take it over.”
No Anna-Greta? No longer anyone around who knew exactly how he was? No one to bicker with?
“Of course you’re moving with us!” he said, shaken. “I can’t cope without you!”
“God, I thought you wished me far away!”
“You know that’s not true. Anna-Greta, you know I’m a cripple and nothing to write home about, but I need you! With my body and soul!”
The cheeky Anna-Greta blushed deeply.
“Are you trying to propose something indecent?”
“No, on the contrary, I’m proposing something decent. I’m asking for your hand, don’t you understand?”
“If the Master wants me to warm his bed for him, I will do so gladly. I just didn’t want to propose it myself, I didn’t think it would be suitable.”
He turned his chair so it faced the room. “Come over here,” he said and when she reluctantly approached him he laid his hands on her arms. “Yes, I am a lonely man and I would appreciate sharing my bed with you because I think you are a warm and understanding kind of woman. But that’s not the most important thing. I spoke with my mother about whether I had the right to remarry. She thought I did as long as I didn’t choose a noblewoman, because I have no right to do so. And I haven’t considered any noblewomen, I’ve only been thinking about you, Anna-Greta. But I didn’t think I could offer you a life with a man who has no feet. It would be hard and would give you many concerns. But before you say no I want you to know how much I care for you as a person. Your dry humour, your frank manner, your mental vigour. I want to be close to you. What I feel for you is love.”
She stood in silence, staring at him.
Vendel tried to persuade her. “I’ve never loved anyone before, you see. I admired Maria Skogh from a distance, as you know. I had the first erotic experience of my life with the five little Nenets who didn’t mean anything to me other than something physical. Later I had a wife forced on me by others, for whom I had nothing but a brief feeling of desire. But where has love been in all of this?”
Anna-Greta shook her head helplessly.
“But of course,” he said, “If you don’t feel anything for me, if you think it would just be an endless number of years living with a cripple, a cripple whom you’ll be looking after, then you shouldn’t be burdened with me. It’s your love I want, not a servant’s duty or a nurse’s care. I want a wife whom I can love and respect and for whom I can make life easier. She’s not going to slave away for me, we’re going to share our responsibilities equally.”
Anna-Greta’s lip started to tremble but she still spoke in her usual blunt and bold tone of voice. “You’re mistaken, Master Vendel, it’s only because I’m the only woman you have seen for a long time. There is no one else to choose from.”
“Rubbish!” he said, but in a mild and persuasive tone of voice. “My dear mother has dragged a couple of little ladies over whom she thought would be suitable matches for me. And the conversations we had were the death of me. The first girl stopped in the middle of a sentence every time she mentioned that she had been out walking or had played ball, because she was worried that hearing those things would hurt me. The other one said the most unbelievable things, like ‘How awful to have lost both your feet. I mean, if you just had one ... I mean ... how do you get your shoes on?’ and ‘Is it true that you lived with barbarians?’”
Anna-Greta couldn’t help laughing. But her laughter had a touch of despair in it.
“Anna-Greta, listen to me! I have managed for seven years without having an intimate relationship with a woman. I could manage for seven more, if I had to. But we’re good friends, aren’t we? Because you don’t really mean it when you make all those derogatory remarks about my intelligence and my masculine judgment, which you abuse so generously. Do you? Because if you can’t stand me ...”
She let out a loud sob. “Can’t stand you? I care for you just as much as you care for me, Master Vendel. I would go to the moon and back, I would die, just to be able to give you a little joy in your life. But that’s my way of expressing it, you see: I throw ugly words at the ones I love most. It’s to hide it, you see.”
“I understand entirely,” Vendel said, moved. “Go and lock the door so we can be alone together for a little while.”
While she quickly did as he asked, he dragged himself over to the wide canopy bed. Anna-Greta feverishly pulled her apron from her shoulders but suddenly stopped short. “Should I? ...” she asked, uncertainly.
Vendel hadn’t really planned to proceed so quickly, but had wanted to win her with patience, tenderness and respect. “I think you should,” he said calmly.
Anna-Greta lit up and pulled off her clothes as quick as lightning. With a somewhat belated shyness she jumped into bed and disappeared under the covers so quickly that he had hardly had a chance to catch a glimpse of her.
She is just as spontaneous as the small girls, he thought with enthusiasm. But this time we have the advantage that we can talk to each other, and it’s an amusing and stimulating kind of conversation. After living as a monk for so many years, his quick response surprised him. The thought of Anna-Greta’s voluptuous nakedness under the covers had a strong effect on him. He sat joyfully and shyly with his back to her as he pulled off his clothes. “I am so utterly grateful to have met you, Anna-Greta,” he mumbled thickly as he struggled with his trousers. “I think we can have a wonderful life together. There was a time when I too could jest and juggle with words just as you do. Then I forgot how. Now it’s as though I’ve escaped from a prison with walls made of seriousness and grief. God, my dear girl, for the first time I can look forward to living my life, because you have faith in me. I feel safe when I’m with you.”
“Yes, Master Vendel ... Vendel, I mean. You can’t say ‘Master’ to someone with whom you’re about to have sex.”
Vendel laughed and fell into her arms. It was wonderful. She was a uniquely warm and generous woman in countless ways!
“Anna-Greta, I think that I’m seriously in love with you! Finally it’s happened. I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel so strongly about a woman! Oh, I will be so good to you. I’ll do everything for you, my dear.”
She smiled blissfully as she let him get to where he wanted. But she was careful not to mention anything about children. Anna-Greta wanted to give him many. But at the same time she knew that there was a shadow in his eyes that she would never be able to eradicate. She knew that she might have to live through many difficult moments when she would see him comparing her children with the one he would never have the chance to see, and if that happened she would feel hurt for her own children.
But that was the price she would have to pay. And she would pay it gladly to have the chance to be together with the one she loved most in the world!
Vendel refused to move with Corfitz Beck’s family. This was his home and he felt they had all done enough for Corfitz’s family through the years.
Christiana didn’t agree with him, so she moved with the Becks. She knew that Vendel had settled down now. With Anna-Greta he couldn’t have been in better hands. Not for one moment was Christiana bothered by her daughter-in law’s modest background. Human qualities concerned her more. And there was another advantage to his remaining there: his grandmother Lene would have some of her own people around her.
A conspicuously brief time after their marriage, Anna-Greta gave birth to a son whom they named Örjan, after Vendel’s beloved grandfather. Christiana postponed her move until after the event and she beamed with happiness at the birth of her grandson. Vendel immediately nicknamed the child “Little Seed”.
“Look Mum. He has a blue mark on his lower back. Is it a birthmark?”
“It’ll soon disappear. You also had one, and so did I, and your grandmother, Lene. Anyone who is one of the Ice People is born with it. It’s called the Mongolian spot and it’s known all over the world. Anyone who has Mongolian blood in them is born with one.”
“That proves that the Ice People come from the east,” Vendel said. “Now we know!”
The little boy was the apple of their eyes and although Anna-Greta looked for an expression of loss in Vendel’s face, there was none to be seen. He seemed perfectly happy, as though only the present moment existed for him – something for which she was truly grateful.
Vendel decided that the boy and all his descendants would be given the surname Grip of the Ice People. He had discovered that he was proud of that name. And Ulvhedin and his son Jon were called Paladin of the Ice People. They all wished to demonstrate their unity as a family. The family had branched out considerably and spread across great territories. And they, too, had children. It might be hard in the future to know where one’s relatives were: identifying themselves as “of the Ice People” would make it easier for them.
Grandmother Lene passed away. Vendel grieved deeply and sincerely for her. But she had led a good life right up until the end. It had pleased her greatly that Little Seed had been baptized Örjan, after her beloved husband.
Vendel tried not to show his heartfelt longing, but it was painful nevertheless and tore him apart. The longing was not for Sinsiew, not at all; he was utterly and completely satisfied with Anna-Greta. He couldn’t have been happier. But he was a very conscientious man, and the thought of his unknown child often tormented him. Not all the time: the responsibilities that went with running the farm, and the new work he had taken up after his return home, occupied him so fully that there were long periods when he was able to forget. He had started designing houses for wealthy people living in the valley, and he planned changes for the management of their farms for them. It was a job he loved doing and since he couldn’t help much with the outside work, being able to work on something meaningful did a lot for his self-esteem. People would visit him to seek his advice and he would listen to them. Anna-Greta saw how he cheered up again and it made her so happy she almost cried for joy. When she went to visit neighbours and acquaintances she would uninhibitedly brag about her husband’s great qualities and his intelligence – without telling him, of course.
