[Ice People #9] Without Roots, page 16
Are was carried in and placed on the sofa so that he could be there. His back and chest were badly hit so that he could no longer move. Mikael sat by his side. Brand, who would be the head of the family when Are passed away, commenced speaking. He was a matter-of-fact and level-headed man, who not prone to fantasising at all but as he listened, Mikael felt that he was thrown into a dream world.
Brand began by saying that they were all happy to have found Mikael again, especially because he had such an important role in the family. As Tarjei’s son, Mikael would become head of the Ice People after Brand, and after Mikael it would be Dominic. Those facts alone could change the course of their lives completely.
Then Brand told the old legend about the evil Tengel. About the Valley of the Ice People where Liv had lived as a child and where poor Kolgrim dealt Mikael’s father, Tarjei, the death wound. Brand spoke at length about Tengel the Good and Silje, who were the most important ancestors of the family, speaking about all the good deeds they had done. However, the darker traits of the Ice People were mentioned as well. Before Dominic was sent out to play with the other children, they spoke about the yellow cat’s eyes, which was a sign that the carrier had unique talents.
“Yes, well,” said Mikael. “Dominic is certainly something out of the ordinary.”
“We’ve noticed that,” said Liv gently.
Then the boy was sent out to play.
“Now we’ve come to something that is slightly more difficult, Mikael,” said Brand.
He then spoke about the curse – the terrible traits that were hidden in those members of the Ice People who were afflicted. He told Mikael about Tengel the Good’s struggle with it, about Hanna and Grimar, who had not fought against the evil at all. Then there was Sol, who had been a delightful and tragic mixture of good and evil, and Trond and Kolgrim, who had succumbed.
Mikael was horrified. “Do you mean to say that Dominic is...”
“No,” said Cecilie. “And neither are Villemo nor Niklas. But I have my own private theory about it.”
“You’re not the only one,” said Liv. “As we’ve already said, a child in each generation tends to be born with evil traits. You see, it so happened that Gabriella and Kaleb were the unfortunate ones this time, they had a child who was very badly affected by it. But it was stillborn.”
She fell silent. Then Are, lying on the sofa, said, “Gabriella and Kaleb, there’s something that Liv and I have had to live with for many years. But I feel that the truth should be spoken because it’s important in this context.”
“I agree,” said Liv. “Now go on, Are, and tell us.”
“The baby wasn’t stillborn, Gabriella, but it wasn’t healthy either. It was born so prematurely that it couldn’t breathe. We might have been able to save it through a tremendous amount of effort on our part, but the fact is we didn’t try. We didn’t kill it but we didn’t save its life either. We did nothing because we’d seen what Kolgrim had committed. This little girl was in far worse condition than Kolgrim.”
Nobody said a word. Gabriella looked at Kaleb, who nodded.
Then, in a strained voice, she said, “Grandma and Uncle Are, you did the right thing. Thank you.”
“Speaking about it has lifted a burden,” said Liv. “Believe me, it wasn’t easy for Are or me.”
Cecilie exclaimed: “Actually, this makes my theory fit even better.”
“Yes,” said Liv, “because if yours is the same as mine, then... But let us hear it.”
“Well, then,” began Cecilie eagerly. “A legitimate child that was struck by the curse was born, but it wasn’t allowed to live. So instead, as a sort of compensation, or whatever you’d choose to call it – I don’t want to use the term, ‘revenge’ – because I don’t think this is the case – the traits were spread to three others within the same generation.”
“That sounds absolutely crazy,” said Andreas. “Nevertheless, there might be something in it.”
“I don’t think any of them are evil,” said Yrja.
“No, I don’t think so either,” said Liv. “The first child represented evil. That was so obvious, you would have understood if you had seen Hanna because the baby was the spitting image of Hanna. No, our young children have been given the traits that follow with the legacy. It was not until I saw Dominic that I was certain. He completes the picture.”
“In what way?” asked Mikael.
“I believe I’m able to answer that one,” said Mattias. “I’m responsible for the Ice People’s secret treasures, the healing herbs, formulas and charms. It’s my duty to find an heir to them when the time comes. That’s is an easy task now. It will be Niklas, Andreas’s son. He has something in his hands, you see. A future power.”
Liv nodded. “It’s the same healing power which my Dad, Tengel, possessed and which isn’t yet developed in Niklas.”
“What about Villemo?” asked Mikael.
Gabriella sighed and smiled. “She’s been given wild and uninhibited gifts, an enormous love of life.”
“True,” said Liv. I really recognise Sol’s – and to a certain degree Cecilie’s – zest for life in Villemo.”
“And then in comes Dominic, demonstrating a distinct sensitivity for other people’s moods. This fits neatly into the picture. Now Mikael: Please tell us about Dominic!”
“Of course, but first I have a question: Who has lived in the room we’re sleeping in?
“Why do you ask?” asked Liv hesitatingly.
“The boy spoke with somebody last night. It’s wasn’t just talking in his sleep, it seemed much more real somehow. He laughed and joked with somebody. At least, that was what it seemed like.”
In the silence that followed, Liv whispered: “Sol! It was the room in which Sol and I grew up. Is she here again? It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Her soul still lives on, Mikael,” explained Cecilie with tears in her eyes. “You can’t see her, but Alexander and I felt her presence once when we were out in the forest.”
“So have Hilde and I,” said Mattias. “Like a roguish laughter in the wind.”
“Kolgrim had some sort of contact with her,” said Kaleb. “That was to be expected since he was her grandchild and also one of the cursed ones. But Dominic has nothing to fear. She doesn’t want to hurt anybody.”
“No, he didn’t seem scared,” smiled Mikael.” He seemed happy more than anything else.”
Liv blew her nose. “Nobody on this earth loved her family more than Sol did. It makes perfect sense that she’d appear once more. She was a true witch, and she promised Are that she’d return, albeit in a sweeter version, as he put it. I recognise several of her traits in Cecilie.”
“Yes,” admitted Cecilie. “I have a lot of Sol in me. I can feel it.”
“I’ve certainly noticed that,” mumbled Alexander. “You little witch!”
Cecilie gave him a loving pat as if they were young and newly in love.
“Now it’s your turn, Mikael,” said Andreas. “Please tell us about your life and about Dominic.”
“Certainly. But can we now be absolutely sure that our children aren’t struck by the evil curse?”
“Are you thinking of Trond?” asked Brand.
Mikael nodded.
“Trond, yes,” sighed Are. “He’s our great enigma. He was such a fine little boy. And then, all of a sudden, evil came out in him.”
“Our Dad, Tengel, was aware of it,” said Liv. “He’d seen the signs. But there was nothing he could do.”
“It was the family’s legacy that triggered the evil in Trond,” said Brand. “And it was the desire for evil that triggered Kolgrim’s terrible deeds. Mattias, you need to be careful. We all do! Don’t mention it to Niklas or Villemo. After all, we can never be too sure.”
“I agree,” said Gabriella. “I know that there’s no evil at all in Villemo, but neither was there any in Trond until the end.”
“I also agree” said Mikael. “From what I’ve now heard the danger lies in knowing how to get the treasure. I won’t mention it at all to Dominic.”
“Good,” said Andreas. “Of course, the children know that the treasure exists, but they don’t know that Niklas will inherit it from Mattias.” He smiled dreamily. “They are sweet, those three children with cat’s eyes! There’s no evil in them.”
Liv and Are exchanged glances. Both of them felt the same uneasiness in their hearts. They weren’t quite sure about one of the little ones. A vague anxiety over certain signs, something that could go either way. So both of them prayed that they would end up growing in the right direction.
Are pulled himself out of his thoughts. “Well, let’s hear your story, Mikael.”
They made themselves more comfortable. Matilda fetched more beer and poured it into the tankards. Then Mikael began: “I have always felt lonely. It’s a loneliness that comes from within and can’t be remedied with friendship. It’s just there all the time.”
Are nodded. ”Tarjei had something of the same in him, but it wasn’t quite so pronounced.”
It wasn’t easy for Are to speak. His breathing sounded heavy and difficult. But his mind was clear.
“As I believe I told you yesterday, I had a somewhat unstable childhood,” continued Mikael. “Until Marca Christiana married Gabriel Oxenstierna and I went to stay with them. I didn’t really know what I wanted with my life, and I still don’t know. I tried to study like my Dad, Tarjei, and I was fairly successful, but it wasn’t where I belonged. The unfortunate thing was that Marca Christiana’s husband was an officer, which was the only natural thing for him to become, and he also felt that that would be the best thing for me. I couldn’t say no because I’ve always tried to be considerate of other people.”
“So you’re one of those among the Ice People,” exclaimed Cecilie. “Poor boy.”
Mikael smiled. He sensed that Cecilie had her own opinion about everything. They noticed that he would look out the window from time to time. “Are you thinking of your son?” asked Matilda and got up.
“Yes,” he smiled apologetically. “I’m wondering how Dominic is settling in.”
Matilda and Cecilie looked out the window.
“They’ve split up,” said Cecilie. “Lene and Irmelin are taking the utmost care of Dominic. They’ve just put him to bed in the horses’ watering trough. It’s a good thing that there’s no water in it!”
“Let’s hope they’re careful with the youngest Paladin?” asked Alexander nervously.
“The pride of your life seems to be taking everything in his stride,” laughed his wife.
“Yes, Tristan is definitely laid back,” laughed Tancred.
“I’m not able to see the others,” said Matilda. “Oh, there they are! Villemo, Niklas and Dominic have crawled up on the ramp to the barn where they’re deep in conversation.”
“The three with cat’s eyes,” murmured Cecilie. “They seem to have found one another. It would be interesting to listen in on the conversation.”
Mikael seemed to calm down and everybody walked back and sat down again.
Tancred let his presence be heard with his happy, eager voice: “Mikael, you must have had Dominic already when we met in Bremen, right? But you didn’t mention that at all. So you’re married then?”
Mikael hesitated a bit before he said: “Yes, I’m married.”
“I think you should tell us about your marriage,” said Liv calmly.
“I ....I’ve no intention of returning to my wife. I need you to please see to it that Dominic is given a reliable escort to Mörby Castle, north of Stockholm. Anette, my wife, is very close to him. That boy is her entire life.”
“What about you, then?” asked Are after a pause. “Will you be staying here?”
“Not for long,” said Mikael in the same absent-minded tone of voice as before. “I must move on.”
“Where to?”
“I have a goal.”
That was the only thing he said and finally Cecilie asked him, “So you’re not happy in your marriage then?”
Mikael sighed. “It was an arranged marriage, which my foster parents arranged. And as usual, I chose to be more considerate of them than think of my own wishes.”
He sighed once more, this time even deeper. “Over the years I’ve discovered that taking consideration of others eventually backfires. If one hundred people live on an island, and ninety-nine of them are considerate, then the ruthless one is the winner. Because the others want to be considerate, they won’t fight fire with fire. I’m aware of all this, but nevertheless I can’t help thinking of others first. It’s a bit awkward.”
“Tarjei was like that as well,” said Brand. “He also suffered from his constant consideration of others.”
“God bless both of you for it,” murmured Liv. “It’s also had an impact on your marriage, hasn’t it?”
“It’s wrong if I’ve made it sound as if my wife is inconsiderate. On the contrary. She’s very inhibited. And I don’t want to force myself on her. As time has gone by – while I was at war – I’ve learned to love the confused person she is. However, I’m nothing but a burden to her. She must have the freedom to marry the one she loves.”
He could see that they were horrified. “It doesn’t sound as if you have a flourishing love life, Mikael,” said Cecilie plainly.
He turned round to face her. “She’s only been my wife in a carnal sense twice. Twice in nine years.”
“Then it can’t come as a surprise that she’s found somebody else,” said Cecilie more candid than considerate. “How splendid that you got young Dominic out of only two attempts.”
“Good heavens, Cecilie” exclaimed her mother.
But Mikael was not cross. “You mustn’t forget that I’ve been away for most of my marriage.”
Are’s hand lay around Mikael’s wrist. “You’ll at least stay here for a little while, won’t you?”
“Yes,” he smiled sadly at his Granddad. “Yes, please. If I may.”
“You may stay for as long as you wish.”
“I feel at home here. This is the first time I’ve been able to talk freely about my problems.”
Now Yrja entered the conversation: “What is it that’s wrong with you? It’s obvious to anybody that you’re sick.“
“I’ve never exactly been a ray of sunshine, but during these past few years I’ve suffered from a debilitating feeling of grief and sadness.”
“Has it anything to do with your marriage?”
“No ... no, I don’t think so. But then it hasn’t exactly made my health any easier.”
“I don’t think it’s a bodily illness, you’re suffering from,” said Mattias. “It’s melancholy.”
Melancholy. That horrible word once more! He decided to tell them all – these people would understand.
“It all began when I was in Livonia. I suffered a breakdown, and I haven’t been well since then.”
“What caused your breakdown?” asked Mattias, the physician.
“The war. Soldiering. You reach a limit, and than you just can’t go on any more.”
“If you felt that awful as a soldier, it goes without saying that you suffered a nervous breakdown.”
Mikael thought for a long time before he went on to say, “My soul became so weak that I was unable to carry on any more. It was triggered by a strange incident. I experienced something that made me extremely frightened, the fear of being different. Anyway, now that I’ve come here, I understand that the reason why I feel different is because I have the blood of the Ice People in me.”
“Will you tell us about it, please?”
“There was an old manor house. A large estate and there were the remains of an old church...”
Then Mikael went on to speak about the strange woman who from day one had made him carry out peculiar tasks for her. And of how it finally dawned on him that she was the Knight’s wife, Magda von Steierhorn, who had passed away two hundred and fifty years ago. It took a long time to tell the story.
“Then I met an old man by the church one day,” continued Mikael. “He said: ‘The dead can fill a human being with melancholy.’”
“Did she touch you?” asked Liv.
Mikael thought for a moment. “No. Well, yes, she did! The last time I saw her. She stretched out her hand and touched me ... here on my arm.”
“How did that feel?”
“I couldn’t feel it at all. But it was always so cold when she was close by. But is that something you should be afraid of? You’ve just said that Sol’s spirit is here.”
“That’s something entirely different,” said Liv. “Sol never appears before us, we merely sense her presence. And she wants only the very best for us. That woman in Livonia must have been evil!”
“Yes,” said Mikael pensively. “Or at least strong. She must have had an extremely strong will.”
Hilde shuddered. “And you said she tries to come in through the window at night. It’s eerie – her fumbling hands on the window pane and her big, staring eyes. Ugh!”
Mikael shook his head. “But I’ve never seen actually her. It’s nothing but an hallucination. I’m convinced that I’ll see her if I don’t cover my window, but I know that she’s not really there. I imagine these horrific things. I won’t deny that it’s a sick fantasy.”
Mattias nodded. “We understand very well how you feel.”
“Please try and describe your attacks,” Brand said.
Mikael sat for a moment, carefully considering which words he’d choose to make them understand. He considered how he’d describe the darkness that threatened to swallow him and ... it. Only it wasn’t easy to put his sense of anxiety into words. However, before he had had time to utter a single word, there was a scream from outside.
“Oh, dear,” exclaimed Matilda. “The girls are trying to bathe Tristan in the big water barrel!”
“Dear Irmelin” said Hilde.
“No, this is one of Lene’s ideas. I know her,” said Jessica.
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