The Sorcerer’s Receptionist: Volume 3, page 9
“Excuse me?”
Just when I thought I’d finally gotten away from him... Prince Maiteiah had followed me right out of the shrine. His big eyes, which look ready to leap out of their sockets, frighten me.
“You. Be my mate. Become the Princess of the Sea.”
“Huh? No, um, I’m just a human, you know.”
“There are a number of methods by which we might breed.”
“‘Breed’?! Who says I want to jump straight to ‘breeding’ with you?!”
The idea of becoming his mate is far too problematic for me to take remotely seriously. He’s completely got the wrong person! Has he lost his mind by asking me to breed with him?!
“No,” I say firmly, just to make sure I got the point across—but that’s when he clamps his fingers around my wrist and yanks me closer to his face. Whoa there, buddy. I’m not the type to just let you get on my nerves like that. As if a slimy git like you could hold onto me...!
I writhe my arm about, twisting it here, there—and then I get enough momentum to finally jerk it free. All thanks to my daily workouts, no doubt. I’ve got enough strength and endurance to fend off any man! If I didn’t, I’d never make it as an employee at Harré or ever have a prayer of beating that other bastard!
Don’t try to get in the way of my dreams, fishboy.
“All I want is to be a receptionist lady! It’s been my dream ever since I was a little kid and I’m not about to try being a princess or anything ridiculous like thaaaaAAAH!!”
Prince Maiteiah totally disregards every stubborn little thing I say, and this time he clamps on to both my arms.
“Owowowow! Hey, why aren’t you using any magic?!”
“I told you, didn’t I? We can’t use any magic that would harm another.”
“Not that! I’m talking about spells to make yourself stronger, or something—couldn’t you capture me real easy if you used magic like that?”
“I would be a fool to use magic like that when I am already prepared to claim you as my mate.”
“But here you are, forcing a lady to be your mate against her will—I think I’d have to call that foolish as well.”
Huh? Who just said that? ...It couldn’t have been—
Something zooms through the water at lightspeed, in between the Prince and me. Instead of sound, my face is bombarded by a shower of bubbles. Prince Maiteiah and I look at each other, both incredulous at this sudden interruption. Slowly, we both turn to look down in the direction of the projectile—and there, lodged deep into the sea floor, is a long, sharp spear.
“Huh. You dodged. Figures.”
Floating up and to my right, his arms crossed, is none other than Rockmann. His silky blond hair is waving in the water, and his glowing crimson eyes are stabbing daggers at the two of us.
I’m not dreaming or hallucinating right now, am I? When did he get there? It seems like he’s able to breathe...but how come I didn’t sense him there earlier?
Swimming behind him is a gigantic, mysterious creature. Unlike the monster that had dragged me off the beach, this one has the shape of a normal fish. What in the world is that? Also, did Rockmann really just imply that he was aiming to spear Prince Maiteiah just now? I haven’t felt safe since I came down here to the Sea Kingdom, but that spear almost killed me! What a bastard! It’s irritating to think that, once again, he’s rescuing me—but can you actually call that “rescuing”? Tossing around a spear, apparently indifferent to the fact that his weapon nearly stabbed right through me? Is he a total psycho?
“Hey! What were you planning on doing if that spear had hit me?!”
“Nothing. It would’ve been your fault for getting in the way.”
She says, he says.
Rockmann’s a perfectionist, though, so I can’t imagine he was intending to be so reckless. He’s a flawless marksman, but look what we have here—that spear was way off target. Maybe because we’re underwater, and he can’t use magic, he’s actually gotten a little...worse, weaker, as a fighter? I’m not sure if that’s good or bad in this situation... I breathe out a little sigh of relief.
It would have been awful to see this fishperson speared right before my eyes.
“Arrogant Human! Do not get in my way. What do you mean by bringing the Great Fish Hownyok before me?”
“Prince Maiteiah.” That’s the enormous fish speaking, thinking, singing? I’m not sure how to describe it. “Hownyok has come with this man. We are here to return that girl back to land. The Sea King knows and approves of our intentions, or he would not have let me enter the Land of the Sea.”
“Shut up!”
The monstrously large fish called “Hownyok” spins its great eyeballs around to stare at Rockmann. “You’re the one who needs to shut up,” he says. “I haven’t got all day. How ’bout you turn the runt over to me? Then we can both get on our way.”
“Don’t call me a freaking runt!”
“You need to shut up too,” Rockmann says, swimming smoothly to come right beside me.
That’s weird. I’ve never heard anything about him being good at swimming—have I lost out to him at that as well?
“Stand back, Human. I’m claiming this girl as my mate. Should you attempt to interfere, you must have a good reason for doing so—do you?”
“Well, she’s my little sister. If I don’t take her back home, our parents will be sad.”
“In that case, you have no authority to intervene here. You’re just her older brother—get lost.”
“What if I said she was my wife? Would you give up then?”
Rockmann lightly places an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him. What kind of crazy talk is this? Why’s he gotta claim me as his wife?
Ugh, hold on—he did just what he said, didn’t he? He came for me, as promised—but why? Grrr! This. Is. So. Frustrating!!
“If you’re gonna hesitate just because I’m saying she’s my wife, you might as well give up on making her your mate. You know she’s not the princess you’ve been looking for, anyway, so why not back off? I haven’t come here to harm you, after all.”
“Haven’t come here to harm him”? Didn’t you almost stab him through with a spear just moments ago?
“Who’re you calling ‘little sister’? ‘Wife’? If you’re gonna make something up, the least you could do is call me your ‘big sister’!”
Not only is he flat-out lying, he’s making me out to be his inferior! I’m not about to let him treat me like that, even if it’s just a fictional relationship! I do have standards, you know.
...On second thought, it’d still be creepy to have him call me his “big sister.” I can’t stand lying—but I know that lying’s the only thing that’s gonna get us out of this situation, and that while lying may be bad, telling a lie may be necessary to protect yourself, sometimes. So, it’s not like, so bad, right? I’m not too fussy about lying, am I? Whoa there, Nanalie, don’t get the wrong idea about yourself—you don’t have to berate yourself over telling a little fib now, do you?
Rockmann can obviously see how flustered I’m getting. He shakes his head, then says, “Stupidly stubborn to the very last, even when it comes to things like this. You really are an idiot, aren’t you?”
“Hey! Who asked you?! Why’re you here, anyway? How’d you get here?”
I fling Rockmann’s hand away from my shoulder and put some distance between us. I’m going to ignore the fact that he just called me an idiot.
The giant fish behind Rockmann opens its mouth wide, and out tumble my three friends, swimming over to me in a flurry the moment they see me.
Nikeh reaches me first. “Nanalie! Are you okay?!”
“Yergh! You got this gnarly slime all over you,” says Satanás, cringing away from me.
Benjamine sighs and pats my back. “She can breathe, though, so I’m sure she’s fine, right?”
“I ain’t seein’ a single one of those hot mermaids around! Where’d they all go?!”
“Naru, you’re the absolute worst.”
“Nanalie, I’m so glad thaaa—AH!”
My friends—they’ve all come to rescue me. I spread my arms wide and gather them up into a group hug. Not many people have friends who’d come searching for them down at the bottom of the ocean. When I first saw them come out of the fish’s mouth, I was worried about the dangers they may have faced in coming here, but now that they’re all in my arms, safe and sound, together—all I feel is happiness.
Behind them, I see Prince Zenon and Ms. Weldy have come out of the fish’s mouth as well. I race over to Ms. Weldy to try hugging her too, but she firmly refuses. “The only one who gets to hug me is Captain Alois!” She does allow me to shake her hand, though.
I really ought to thank her for tagging along with them. “Ms. Weldy, I—”
“What a load of fishshit! I found her, she’s my mate! I don’t care if she’s just a replacement for my older sister, no matter what, I will take this girl to be my—” Prince Maiteiah doesn’t seem like he’s going to give up on me that easily.
Benjamine watches as he throws his tantrum and gives me a look, saying, quite seriously, “You know, Nanalie, you’re kind of a weirdo—but you got all these guys falling head over heels for you. It’s impressive, honestly.”
I’m not sure if I want to entertain her opinion of me as a “weirdo,” but I can’t let this go. “He doesn’t like me, actually,” I say, “he’s just mistaken me for someone else. Apparently, the princess he’s looking for looks like me.”
“Ugh,” Benjamine mutters. “Men only care about looks, don’t they?” She scoffs at the Prince, leering at him as if he is some particularly pathetic creature.
“I can’t lose her again,” he says, panicking. “If you try to take her from me—I’ll use magic.”
Prince Maiteiah begins to recite a mer-spell, flapping his thick lips. Is he going to try to use attack magic on us? If so, we won’t stand a chance against him. None of us can use magic down here, not even Prince Zenon or Rockmann.
His fellow fish, Hownyok, appears to realize what’s about to happen, and starts swimming towards him.
But the very next instant—
“AH! What the hell’s going on! My magic—Father!”
All of us are bathed in white light.
Before I know it, I’m back inside Palace Oceanus, floating in front of the Sea King’s throne. I look up to see him sitting up there, just as he’d been doing a few hours ago.
“You’re a fool, Maiteiah.”
“Father, why! All I wanted—”
“Young Humans,” rumbles the King, “I ask you to forgive my son. He’s just a very lonely fish.”
All of my friends and I, along with Hownyok and Prince Maiteiah, are back inside the palace. This is only a guess, but I think the Sea King just teleported us all here.
Benjamine and Ms. Weldy both drop their jaws in surprise as they look around. I can’t say I don’t understand that reaction. The Sea King calls out to the Great Fish Hownyok floating behind us, saying calmly, “You are to take them all back to the Continent.”
Prince Maiteiah, on the other hand, is forced to remain silent by seaweed trapping every part of his body, including his big fat mouth.
“Nanalie,” Nikeh whispers, hiding behind me. “Is that...?”
“The Sea King,” I say, nodding.
She peeks out from behind my back to look up at him, eyes wide. “He’s so big!”
Well of course she’s shocked, just like I was. Not only is he huge, he’s half-fish, half-human. Meeting him is like seeing a human giant.
Satanás is distracted by the sight of all the pretty merladies floating in the court.
“Hurry up and get in Hownyok’s mouth,” Prince Zenon commands him, then he urges Nikeh and me to do the same. “Let’s go!”
I turn away from the Sea King—but I can’t help but think, All this trouble was caused by that fish monster Nanyok and Prince Maiteiah. The Sea King has been kind to me, allowed me to do what I want, and got me out of that slimy situation with the Prince trying to mate with me. Surely he deserves a proper goodbye.
I face the Sea King once more and give him a quick bow of thanks. Right as I’m about to jump inside Hownyok’s mouth, however, he speaks to me again.
“By the way, human girl,” he says to me. “Would you mind calling me ‘grandfather’?”
I stop moving and glance back to answer him. “Your Majesty...?” Why does he want me to do something like that? I’m in a rush to be gone, so I just do as he asks without thinking further.
“G-G-Goodbye, Grandfather! Farewell! Thank you very much for helping me!”
“‘Grandfather’?” Rockmann echoes me. He pauses for a moment outside Hownyok’s mouth, thinking. Then, he places one hand against his chest and bows deeply to the Sea King.
The Sea King laughs, and Rockmann rises to face me again.
“Give me your hand,” Rockmann says.
“Why?”
“Not that one—the other.”
He takes my left hand and slips the ring off my finger.
“Why’d you give that to me, anyway?”
“The ring? So I could know where you are, basically.”
“Really now... So you can use a Dorseim Wisdom like that as well, can you?”
“Huh. So you knew what this was all along?”
Can you really use these rings as locator beacons? It doesn’t seem like he knew whether or not it’d work underwater, though.
“Anyway,” he says, “I put that on you, just in case it might come in handy.”
Rockmann doesn’t know everything either, I suppose.
“You probably don’t know this,” I say, puffing out my chest in self-satisfied superiority, “but you can use Dorseim Wisdoms in the Land of the Sea.”
“...I kinda figured that out the moment I found you,” he says.
Oh, right. My sense of superiority bubbles right out of me in a disappointed sigh.
“Let’s just get going, shall we? Into the fish mouth now.”
I do as he instructs, sitting down in the fish’s mouth, behind the line of teeth. The inside of the big fish’s mouth doesn’t stink at all.
Once Hownyok closes its mouth, it of course gets dark inside, but Satanás is carrying a glowing orb in the palm of his hand, so I can see everyone else’s faces.
I also see the state he’s in. “Satanás,” I gasp, “what happened to your clothes?!”
“Oh, this? It was super gnarly.”
His clothes are ripped and torn all over the place. From what he tells me, they were all attacked by another gigantic creature on the way here. They’d all apparently been forced out of Hownyok’s mouth by the attack, and almost munched on by the attacking carnivore—but, mysteriously, Satanás was the only one the creature had attacked, leading to his clothes looking even more tattered than usual.
“Hey,” Rockmann says, turning to me, “that charm box didn’t work, did it?”
“Huh?”
“You opened the box, didn’t you?”
He’s sitting cross-legged, resting his chin on one hand. Hownyok’s mouth is full of seawater. Slowly, however, the water level inside is dropping, dropping, gone. My hair lies limp against my face and neck, dripping down my shoulders.
“I never opened that box,” I say.
“Hm?” Rockmann furrows his brow, looking like he can’t believe his ears. Does he have bad hearing, or something? Guess I’ll keep telling him until he gets it.
“Why would I open it? Our competition isn’t over yet. Even if it’s just a little charm box, I’m not about to let you off the hook that easily.” The image of that little green box, sitting on the ledge next to my window, comes to mind.
Right after we got our boxes, I do believe I got a little sharp with him. “I’m opening this box as soon as I get back to the dorm!” ...Didn’t he bait me into saying that, though?
Still, it makes sense that he would think I opened it after I’d so openly insisted I would. I’d certainly intended to open it when I said that...but while I may never, ever want to see him around town or anything like that, I feel...differently about the idea of never seeing him for the rest of my life.
If we really are never to meet again, I want to make sure I beat him at something—anything—before I think about opening that box.
“You really are a silly idiot, aren’t you?”
Rockmann lifts his chin off his hands and covers his mouth with one hand as he laughs. He’s not making fun of me, I don’t think—he actually thinks I’m just being silly. Probably.
After the whole affair of all seven of us piling inside a fish’s mouth, being carried across the sea, and putting up with being next to Rockmann for a good while, Hownyok spits us out onto a part of the beach somewhat removed from where I was dragged into the sea by the giant beast Nanyok. There’s a rocky outcropping that shields this part of the beach from the rest, and it’s completely empty of other people.
“Ouch!”
Hownyok isn’t exactly gentle in the manner she throws us up and out of her mouth (someone had informed me that she was a girl fish), right into the rock-ridden sand. We all came out of her mouth at once, so some of us have landed on top of others. Rockmann falls on top of me, and one of his knees crunches right into my ribs so hard, I feel as though I’m about to die.
Even if I had been wearing proper clothes to shield that part of my body, it would have hurt—but this swimsuit gives me no protection at all in that area! He hadn’t meant to bruise my rib cage, of course, so I don’t get too mad about it—but even so, I can’t help but think that whatever this bastard does, he’s always got some hidden motive for doing it, even when it looks like an “accident.” Especially then, perhaps. For good measure, I ball up my right hand into a fist and give his rib cage a good pummeling as well. Excellent. Now we’re even.
I untangle myself from him and stand up and look around for Hownyok—but she is nowhere to be seen. Gone, without a word. Did she go back home to the Sea Kingdom, or is she hiding nearby?
Rockmann’s standing on the rocks, hands on his hips, as he looks out at the sea. “You know you’ve got a good woman when she goes home that way, nice and quiet like.”
