Fix Them Up, page 19
‘I could see if we could bring down the price, maybe,’ Andrea replied, her eyes scanning the 3D renderings of the designs.
I felt stupid. I proudly showed Andrea my plans, gushing over the dark blue cabinet doors, the herringbone tiles, and the fluted glass cabinets, even though I knew the latter might not be the most practical choice. The finger smudges would be a bitch. My eyes lit up when Andrea mentioned a wine fridge, and I couldn’t help but hurl a yes and immediately ask where we could fit it. Liam sat beside me, his lips twitching at my excitement.
For the bathroom, I picked a big roll-top bath with simple white tiles on the floor but accented with a half wall of green tiles on the walls. Liam and I argued over the old mid-century dresser I wanted to source and turn into a double sink with a round mirror and wall lights on either side.
Liam shook his head. ‘The vanity unit will be a nightmare.’
‘What do you mean?’ I recoiled.
‘The wood. It’s not good in bathrooms. It warps easily and gets watermarks. It’s not practical.’
‘But it’s beautiful. And I can repurpose an old dresser. It will probably be cheaper.’
‘Cheaper, apart from all the hours it will take me to fit the sink.’
I leaned in. ‘If you can’t do it, maybe Danny could help,’ I said sweetly.
Liam’s eyes jumped to mine, a challenge in them that made my blood hum.
Eventually, I won.
Liam sighed. ‘I’ll do it, but I warned you. Don’t complain when the thing is covered in water stains.’
I grinned. ‘Thank you.’
And now, all my hard work convincing him was pointless – there was no way I could afford this design. I’d got so caught up that I’d forgotten to mention the budget. Even Liam was animated, chipping in to recommend particular appliances he’d fitted before and rated. I imagined him behind the huge range oven and flinched.
Throughout all of this, I wasn’t picturing an imaginary family at the kitchen island or kicking off their shoes to sit on the sofa. They didn’t have blank faces.
I was imagining Liam and me.
I imagined him standing at that oven, which sparkled silver, with that beautiful, determined look when he was cooking something new. I imagined us dancing in the kitchen to Glenn Miller like we had at the club. I was imagining a life with him.
I swallowed hard.
This was not happening. It couldn’t happen. There were no strings attached. It was casual.
But as I glanced at Liam, I realised he was watching me, his eyebrows drawn together. His hand came down on my thigh and squeezed.
‘You okay?’ My heart fluttered. Stupid heart.
‘There’s no chance I can afford this,’ I said, keeping my voice low so Andrea couldn’t overhear.
‘Andrea.’ Liam glanced up, a stubborn angle to his jaw. ‘Do you think you could sharpen your pencil on this?’
My head whipped to him. ‘What are you doing?’ I whispered.
‘Trying to get you a better deal,’ he whispered back.
‘Oh.’
Andrea clicked her teeth. ‘I can try, Liam. But it’s tricky with customs. You and Kat have picked out some of our more expensive European fittings – the bath and shower.’
‘If you can do anything, I’d appreciate it,’ Liam said, and Andrea nodded, rising out of her office chair and said she’d call the company and see if any of the prices had come down in the last few months.
‘I can’t believe you just did that,’ I said, flushed.
‘What? You never haggled before?’
‘No.’ I’d never had anything to haggle for.
Liam tutted. God, I wish he’d stop doing that. ‘You shouldn’t accept the price the first time. There’s always some wiggle room somewhere.’
‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘I couldn’t do that. It’s too embarrassing.’
He chuckled. ‘Andrea is used to it. Besides, I bring them a lot of business.’
‘Don’t you think a lot of yourself?’ I teased.
Liam smirked. ‘I’m just telling the truth, Red.’ He leaned forward, brushing his thumb across my lips. Blood rushed to my cheeks. ‘Did I tell you how beautiful you look when you’re excited about something? Your eyes light up, a bright blue. For the past hour, I’ve wanted to take you home and see how I can make you look at me like that.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
Liam’s eyes were like soft brown sugar, flitting from my eyes to my lips.
‘If you want the designs, we can make it happen. You just tell me, and I’ll fit whatever you want. As long as that look stays on your face, I’ll move mountains.’
Air whooshed out of my lungs.
I jumped when Andrea’s voice shouted through the shop. ‘Fifteen per cent discount, not including sale items.’
She shuffled back to her seat, the noise creaking. ‘Brings it down to… about nineteen grand.’ She glanced up. ‘Or we can redesign something more cost-effective.’
Cheaper. Simple.
I refused to make the house one of those soulless grey temples that landlords charge a million pounds a month to rent. But it didn’t mean I couldn’t make the fittings cheaper. The designs were more extravagant than they needed to be, that was certain. I’d picked the gold fittings in the bathroom to complement the dark green tiles. Those cost more than standard chrome, I was sure.
I bit my lip.
‘Hey,’ Liam said, his eyes meeting mine. ‘Whatever you want.’
He meant it. Liam would do whatever I asked. He would fit whatever I wanted. And I had a sneaky feeling he would accept whatever I wanted when it came to us, too. He was solid and reliable, like the foundations of a house.
And I was not.
I was flighty and chaotic, and I always changed my mind. I would mess him around and leave a path of destruction in my wake. I knew it. I mean, even Mum didn’t believe in me and she was supposed to love me unconditionally. I needed to nip this whole fluttering heart situation in the bud. This was supposed to be a bit of fun.
I faced Andrea. ‘Let’s go with the cheaper option.’
*
Liam and I walked across the grey car park to his van. Over the past half hour, Andrea clicked ‘empty basket’ on my entire design, and I felt like I’d drooped like a tulip out of water.
‘Kat,’ Liam said from the driver’s seat, the grey sky flickering past us. Even the weather knew it was a miserable day. ‘You’re killing me here.’
‘Sorry,’ I said, sitting up straight and smiling. ‘I’m fine.’
‘No, you’re not.’ Liam’s lips were in a fine line. ‘Come on, let it out.’
I inhaled and, on the exhale, blurted out, ‘I just had this vision, and now I realise how stupid and naive it was to get attached. The whole time, this was about profit. Nothing more. But those designs we picked after’ – I laughed – ‘I hate that I had to choose the cheaper kitchen, not just because it’s ugly, but because I know it won’t last very long. It will get worn down and look tired in a couple of years. It’s not going to last.’
Liam nodded, his hand coming over to my thigh. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart.’
‘It’s okay, really.’ I sighed. ‘I think I’m just feeling a bit homesick, maybe –’ I thought about London and my mum and work. And I didn’t feel anything, really. Some residual guilt over lying to my mum for so long and dodging her calls. I thought about Willa – ‘I think I miss Willa.’
‘Your friend?’
‘My best friend.’
‘How did you meet?’
‘We met at uni years ago. Wills turned up to lectures fifteen minutes early with perfectly blow-dried hair and matching stationery. She was sat at the end of a row, so when I turned up late, having slept through my alarm, I sat myself in the closest seat, next to her.’ I smiled at the memory of us – eighteen, young and clueless, with so much ahead of us. ‘We clicked. It’s thanks to Willa that I have a degree. She helped keep me organised and offered to body double with me at the library.’
Liam frowned. ‘Body double? Is that like… sexual –’
I laughed. ‘No. I can concentrate better when someone is working beside me. I suppose it’s like I mimic them.’
‘Right. And you miss Willa, being up here?’
‘This is the longest we’ve not seen each other’ – I racked my brain – ‘probably since uni.’
‘Wow.’
‘Yup.’
‘I haven’t seen my mates in six months.’
‘Oh my god.’ I shake my head. ‘You should text them and arrange something! One of you is probably waiting for the other to do it first. Typical men.’
Liam shrugged. ‘Never thought about it, I suppose.’ We fell silent as we flitted through traffic and headed to the house.
Liam broke the silence. ‘Why not just have what you want?’ Liam’s eyes flickered between mine and the traffic ahead. ‘It’s your life.’
He made it sound so simple.
‘I need to be sensible,’ I said. ‘I’m not living there. It’s just to make sure that I make a bit of profit. Whoever buys it will probably hate the designs anyway.’ I shrugged. ‘It’s better this way.’
Liam frowned. ‘They’d have no choice but to love it.’
I gave a small smile. ‘Thanks. But it’s pointless anyway.’
Liam swerved into a road on the left. My hands hit the dash. I swear I felt the tyres lift off the tarmac.
‘Liam! What the hell?’ I turned to find a manic grin on his face.
Liam’s smile widened. ‘I know the perfect thing to cheer you up.’
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Heath Antiques smelt as dank and dark as it looked. In the old converted mill, spindle-back chairs were stacked up to the ceiling next to rows of buffed Chesterfield sofas. Mid-century coffee tables were next to Victorian bureaus. It was dark, but when light did appear, it burst from murky skylights that hadn’t been cleaned in years. Everywhere I looked, there was another token from the past – a gaudy neon sign or a dining table with swear words etched into the wood. I was in heaven. Liam was right.
My miserable haze was gone the moment I stepped inside.
‘Let’s pick out this dresser you keep harping on about,’ Liam said, his lips twitching. He raised a finger and bopped it on my nose. ‘And you are going to haggle.’
My mouth fell open. ‘I can’t. And I thought you said it was “impractical”,’ I said, impersonating Liam’s stupid voice.
Liam’s eyes twinkled. ‘Firstly, I don’t sound like that. Secondly, it is impractical. But for you, I will add a glass top, so it doesn’t get damaged. And thirdly…’ He stepped forward, his steel-capped boots meeting mine. His gaze simmered with determination. ‘You are going to haggle.’
I crossed my arms. ‘You’d do that?’
‘Make you haggle? Jesus, Red, the guy who runs this place is a softie. He’ll probably give you anything for free once he sees you in those jeans.’
‘What – no, I mean fit the glass on top –’ I glanced down at my outfit. Not particularly sexy, I didn’t think.
‘Of course.’ Liam pulled me closer.
He was so touchy-feely at the moment, and I kind of loved it. Most guys I’d dated in the past were against physical touch until I was in their bed.
Liam’s hands caressed down my arms and grazed along my waist. ‘I meant what I said.’ His thumb grazed my jaw. ‘Anything you want, you can have.’
‘Anything, huh?’ I grinned, looking up to find him staring down at me. He had a soft look on his usually hard features.
‘Anything,’ he said, his voice low.
I turned away, my hands on my hips, facing the warehouse. Liam cleared his throat, and I could feel disappointment rolling off him in waves.
Too much. It was too much.
Liam’s voice said from behind me, ‘Let’s test that haggling, huh?’
We spent an hour weaving through the rows and rows of furniture. And while I wanted to take everything home with me, I hadn’t found the perfect dresser yet. However, I had found a vintage Ercol dining table with matching chairs, an amazing old dresser that would be perfect for the hallway and glass whisky decanters I wanted to take home. Each time, Liam pulled me gently away, reminding me to stay focused.
I tried my best even as the furniture chanted to me. Take us home. Take us home.
‘This was a mistake.’ Liam shook his head. ‘You want everything.’
‘I want everything.’ I mock-gasped. An antique gold cash till sat on top of a wooden table, the huge leaver you’d pull to open up the till still intact. My hands ran over the metal numbers, pressing them down. They still moved. ‘Oh my’ – I clutched my chest – ‘this would look so cool in your restaurant.’
Liam arched an eyebrow. ‘My restaurant.’
‘Yeah.’ I waved a hand. ‘When you get round to it. And finally speak to your brother.’
‘If you have anything to do with it, it’s going to look like the jumble sale at Abigail’s school.’
It didn’t escape me that he skirted around the mention of his brother.
I grinned. ‘You have such little faith in me.’
Liam huffed. ‘Trust me. When it comes to this stuff, I have complete faith in you.’
‘This stuff?’
‘I’ve seen your plans.’ He glanced at me. ‘They are good. I’ve worked with interior designers – some good, some bad. I can tell you’re talented, even if you need a dose of reality now and then. If I do open my restaurant—’
‘Oh—’
Liam held up a finger. ‘If. I said if. If I open the restaurant. You’ll be the first person I’ll call.’
‘To design it?’ I gasped.
‘Yep. Only the best.’
The heart flutters were back. He had no idea what those words meant to someone who doubted themselves on a daily basis.
I smiled. ‘Thanks. Sometimes I think about—’ I paused. ‘I think about doing this – as a job,’ I said in a rush. ‘It’s just a stupid idea, and I probably wouldn’t make any money. Then I’d end up not being able to pay any bills, and then the bank would repossess my house, and I’d end up destitute. Or worse, back living with my mum and Graham.’
The corner of Liam’s lips rose. My face burned.
I turned away. ‘Forget it—’
‘No, no,’ Liam said and shifted my shoulders to face him. ‘Why would you think that?’ His gaze searched my face. ‘Why wouldn’t it be a success?’
My mum’s voice echoed around me.
Don’t take risks. Stop being impulsive. Be sensible, Katherine.
‘I wasn’t brought up by people who took risks.’ I bit my lip. ‘And I have a reputation for being… flighty. I’ve had some failed attempts at businesses before. Stupid stuff, really. A jewellery business. Candle making. Then, I thought I wanted to be a childminder. But all of them failed. Or I failed.’
Liam let out a deep breath.
‘Just ignore me. I’m oversharing.’
‘Hey,’ he said, his arms trailing down mine. ‘You aren’t oversharing. I asked, remember?’ He laced his fingers through mine, walking us down the aisle with old wooden benches. ‘Just because someone else doesn’t like taking risks doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. And those other attempts don’t mean you’ll fail again. And if you do’ – he shrugged – ‘who cares? If you have about a million careers in your lifetime, who cares, as long as you are happy?’
I snorted. ‘Well, the tax man might be a bit concerned.’
‘If it means anything, I think you’d be amazing.’ He glanced at me. ‘You’re incredibly creative and driven. Your brain might be hardwired a bit differently, but I’ve seen the dogged determination when you face your problems.’ He smiled, shaking his head ruefully. ‘I’ve been victimised by it, remember?’
I rolled my eyes, my cheeks blushing at his words.
We stopped near some huge wardrobes that looked straight out of a C. S. Lewis novel.
Liam’s thumb grazed my jaw, forcing me to look at him.
‘I mean it, sweetheart. You clearly don’t hear it enough. You are incredible.’
Half of me wanted to make a joke, laugh it off. But the other half wanted to press my face into Liam’s chest and pull him close. I wanted to hear him say things like that again and again. I wanted to bask in those words and ruminate if he really meant them. I wanted to let him prove to me he did mean them.
But I couldn’t do that.
I couldn’t have him.
So, instead, I showed him. I was much better with my body than words. I pressed my palm against his chest, pushing him against a bookcase in the dark part of the warehouse somewhere that no one would spot us.
‘Kat –’ he said, and I watched his cocky grin morph into hot desire.
I was determined to make him feel something. I wanted to repay the debt of his sweet, kind words.
My hands roamed across his chest, and I leaned up to kiss him hard and fast. His tongue met mine, and he groaned. His hands came up into my hair, pulling gently.
‘What are you playing at?’ he murmured into my ear, kissing down my neck.
‘Oh,’ I said, trying to sound casual, but my voice was pure gravel, ‘I’m just getting my own back.’
I sank to the floor, on my knees, and started on the buttons of his jeans.
‘Kat –’ Liam’s voice was a groan and a warning in one. ‘You don’t – oh, fuck.’ I palmed him over his boxers, and his head fell against the bookcase. I grinned, enjoying the power, even on my knees. I touched him a few more times, feeling how big and hard he was. I wasn’t sure I could take all of him in my mouth.
‘Are you just playing with me?’ Liam said, reaching into my hair and holding me there. His eyes were so fucking soft with desire, and I didn’t think anyone had ever looked at me like that before.
Liam’s thumb reached across my lips, and I opened my mouth instinctively. His thumb dipped into my mouth.
‘I’ve thought about this too many times,’ he rasped – molten hot desire. ‘You, on your knees. For me.’
