Promised: A Mafia Arranged Marriage Romance, page 7
I want to tell him I do. I want to beg him to stop and let me up. Before I can do either of those things, however, he thrusts forward, his huge cock slamming into the back of my throat. I gag and claw at his legs, but he holds his cock still in my mouth.
Grabbing him, I run my hands up and down his shaft. He’s throbbing and hot, his skin smooth under my touch and I moan, unable to help myself. There’s a twisting in the pit of my stomach at what I’m doing but, more upsetting than that, is the fact that I’m soaking through my panties.
I feel myself growing wet as I lap my tongue over his cock. He feels delicious in my mouth, even with his fingers digging into the back of my head to hold me in place. Moaning again, I run my fingers up and down his thighs, then twist my mouth around his cock, slipping my head up and down as it slides in and out of my mouth.
“Good girl,” he growls, his voice causing my heart to beat faster.
I realize with horror that I want to make him feel good. He started this, but I have the sudden urge to finish it and make sure that he enjoys himself. It’s fucked up but I can’t help it.
“Keep going, Janele. Don’t stop, darling, you’re doing great. Open wider.”
My mouth aches but I do what he asks. His praise feels so good as his words wrap around me and fill my head. I keep sucking him, trying my best to make it feel good. I want him to like this.
“Fuck! I’m coming, Janele! Suck harder!” His words cut through my thoughts and I suck his cock, not crying out when he thrusts back into my throat. After a moment, I feel him thicken, his nails cutting into the skin on the back of my scalp as he reaches orgasm.
“Fuck!” He cries, and releases into me. Just like he told me to, I suck hard on him, not wanting to miss a drop. He shivers, his cock throbbing in my mouth, and I taste every bit of him as he empties himself.
Then he’s finished and he steps back. I fall forward, catching myself with my hands on the cold floor, then look up at him. Any compassion that I thought I’d seen in his face is gone.
He looks at me like he’s disgusted with me, but then he squats down, taking my chin in his hand. “I knew that you’d be good in bed,” he tells me. Standing, he turns and scans his eyes at the door before leaving without another word.
What the fuck did I do?
My whole body feels like it’s on fire. I want him to touch me. I want to feel his hands on me, between my legs. I want the throbbing in my clit to disappear, but he just left me.
And what the fuck was I even doing? I wanted to kill him, I know that killing him is the only way for me to survive this, and what did I do?
Suck his cock. And enjoy it.
I can’t let that happen again. There’s something seriously fucked up with me but I can still save myself. I just have to try harder next time. I don’t know why he turns me on so much, but I won’t let anything like that happen again.
And if he tries anything again, I’ll kill him.
I don’t know how, but I will.
Xavier
Rage courses through my body when I leave Janele, but it’s not the pure white rage that I’m used to. It’s mingled with something else, something that I’m not sure of.
Regret, maybe? I hate that thought but I lean against the door to Janele’s room for a moment, trying to work through my feelings.
Her blowjob felt good. Great, even, for someone who hasn’t ever touched a cock before in her life, but that’s not what it is. I feel relaxed, like I could lay down and then take a nap, but there are too many things for me to do today.
I have to figure out what the fuck I’m going to do about the Dicaso family before I can worry about what I’m feeling for Janele.
That decided, I pull my phone from my pocket and send out a mass text. Alejandro will come, even though he knows that I’m pissed at him right now, but he’s not the only person I want to see. I’m calling in some of my best guys, the ones I can really trust, and we’ll figure out what to do about the Dicaso family before long.
Wandering upstairs, I hop in the shower and take a quick nap. Just a few hours of sleep will have me feeling more like myself and I’ll be better able to handle what comes next. My stomach growls and I’m sure that Janele is hungry, but she’s going to have to wait until this meeting is done.
After getting dressed, I set out the cut crystal and whiskey in the library. Doing that makes me feel just like my father. He died ten years ago, giving me control over the family, but I still feel his shadow when I’m doing some things.
The doorbell rings and I open it to find not only Alejandro, but also Benito and Romano. Romano’s a cousin, but Benito’s my uncle, the last of that generation to still be working in the family. I don’t have siblings, which means that I have to rely on more distant blood for help in times like this.
Still, blood is blood.
“What’s going on, Xavier?” Benito asks, closing the door behind the three of them. I wait until I hear it lock before leading them to the library.
Once we’re all seated and have a drink in front of us, I turn to Benito. “Alejandro didn’t tell you about our little trip earlier to meet with the Dicaso family?” I ask him. Benito has always had an uncanny ability to know everything that’s going on in the family even before the news is out, and I think that he slips Tommy a little extra for insider info.
This morning, though, he shakes his head. “No. Spill. Is it bad? Those bastards have been gunning for blood for a long fucking time now.”
I nod. “They want Janele. If nothing else, they want to stop the wedding so that our family and the Lucose family won’t get any stronger than we already are. You all know as well as I do that we can’t give her up. This marriage has been a long time coming and is the best way for us to ensure that we have the most power in the area.”
“I’m confused,” Romano says. “They want her for themselves? Someone wants to marry her?”
I shrug, taking a sip of my whiskey. It’s top shelf, only the best for meetings like this, and I love how it feels on my tongue. While I drink, Alejandro speaks up.
“They didn’t say. Knowing those bastards, it could be that they want one of their own to marry her, but it could also be that they want to kill her.”
Cold fear grips my heart as I think about something happening to Janele. Yes, I’ve wanted to kill her more than once since I’ve met her, but I wouldn’t actually draw the blade or pull the trigger. The thought of her perfect body, untouched by anyone, cold and dead on the ground fills me with rage.
“Clearly neither of those are options,” I say. “I would suggest that we move the wedding up so that they can’t try to pull any shit, but it’s in the contract that she get married on her birthday. The last thing I want to do is give her father any chance of trying to claim that the contract is null and void.”
“He would.” Benito nods and I’m glad for his years of experience. He’s dealt with all types of assholes before and knows exactly what they’re capable of. “Danny Lucose is a bastard and would do anything that the thinks would be beneficial to him, even giving his daughter to another family. He may look nice on the outside but inside it burns him to be in debt to our family.”
“Good to know.” I refill our glasses while we all think for a moment, then continue. “Our main goal right now is to keep Janele safe. That’s not a problem since she’s here with me and nobody can come get her. Of course, we also have to worry about the rest of the family. Anyone can be attacked.”
“What about Lucose? Do we need to worry about protecting him?” Romano’s young and still trying to figure out how to navigate the tricky world of mafia families. I know that he doesn’t mean anything bad by his question, so I wave it off with my hand.
“He has guards. He has guns. If the Dicaso family comes for him then he’ll either be able to handle himself, or he won’t. This marriage is better for him than it is for us. We have the strength and numbers to stand on our own without the help of the Lucose family, so I’m not worried about him.”
“Fair enough,” Benito says, nodding. “I’ll reach out to Tommy and get more intel. Alejandro, Romano, you two work your contacts.”
“My job is to keep Janele in one piece,” I tell them. “Keep her happy enough to walk down that aisle with me.”
“She’ll do it whether or not she has a choice,” Alejandro reminds me, and I nod. We all clink our glasses and finish our whiskey in silence before the three men go.
My stomach rumbles as I see them out and I know that Janele has to be starving. As much as I want to punish her for trying to kill me earlier, there’s a part of me that’s thrilled at the fight in her.
Most women I know would roll over and take whatever cards are dealt to them, but not Janele. That thought in mind, I decide to make her some lunch, but it’s not going to be anything boring.
Every woman loves salmon, so I pull some fresh fish from the fridge and chop some veggies while the pan heats up. Some fresh bread that I picked up the other day, veggies, salmon, and maybe even dessert.
A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I love to cook, so I throw together a small apple crumble while the fish cooks, heavily seasoned with spices, then put it all on a tray with a pitcher of water and some glasses to carry downstairs to Janele.
I know that I need to sort through what I’m thinking about her but I honestly just want to spend a little time with her. It’s messed up, and I know it, but there’s something about Janele that draws me in.
She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever met before. I honestly can’t believe how hard she’s willing to fight to get what she thinks she deserves. It’s unfortunate that the two of us are at a crossroads, because there’s no way that I can let her go.
She’s mine. She’s been mine since she was just a little girl and I don’t want to give her up. All I can do is hope that, at some point, she’ll learn that I’m not the bad guy in the story. I let her have her mother for a lot longer than she would have otherwise.
All I’ve ever tried to do is save her.
The retinal scan beeps and I push the door open, making sure to keep the tray in front of me in case she tries to attack again. There isn’t any way that she could hurt me badly enough to actually escape, but that doesn’t mean that I want to hurt her.
“I made lunch,” I tell her, kicking the door shut behind me.
She eyeballs me from her perch on the bed before getting up and slowly walking over to me. When I put the food down on the table she finally pulls out a seat, sitting down with a sigh.
“You know that you can’t pull shit like that again,” I tell her, taking a bite of my salmon. It’s perfectly flaky and spiced and I wait until Janele has a bite before I continue. “That shit isn’t allowed. I’m on your side here, Janele.”
“Are you? Because it sure as hell feels like you have me locked up like a prisoner.”
“Well, act feral, and you’ll get treated as such. I bet that you didn’t feel much like a prisoner when you were sucking my cock though, did you?”
She’s silent and bright spots of color appear on her cheeks. They make her look even sexier than she already is and I shift position in my seat, trying to ignore the way my cock throbs at the sight of her full lips.
“Fuck you. I hate you.” Sitting back, she pushes her food away from her.
“What, you’re not going to eat now?” I ask her, taking a sip of water and staring at her. “You think that starving yourself is a better option for you?”
She nods, once swift movement of her head that makes me want to smack her. Or kiss her. “I’m not eating your food. Let me go.”
“No.” I shove back from the table, my chair legs scraping loudly on the floor. “If this is how you want to act, then this is how you’ll be treated, Janele. Food is gone until you beg me for it. How do you like that?”
“You won’t starve me.” She stands up, gripping the edge of the table and leaning over it to stare at me. “You’re supposed to marry me, so there’s no way in hell that you’ll starve me.”
“Try me. You think that your dad gives one shit what happens to you, Janele? You should have heard him when your mom died. He wanted me to take you off of his hands right then and there.”
The small spots of color in her cheeks have grown. Her eyes darken and narrow and she shakes her head. I can tell that she doesn’t believe me, but that’s fine. She doesn’t have to.
I’m not lying.
“He wanted me to raise you here so that he didn’t have to deal with you,” I tell her. “You think that your daddy wants you back? He was fucking thrilled to see you go. I took you off his hands a whole two weeks early and he’s over the moon.”
“Stop.”
“No. You need to hear this, Janele. You think that you’re so special, that people care about you? Newsflash, darling, they don’t. Now, if you’re going to continue to be a fucking cunt then you can just stay locked up down here. I’m going to marry you either way.”
She doesn’t answer and I throw the plates and glasses back on the tray. I want Janele. I want to pull her towards me and kiss her, then fuck her right over this table. She’s damaged, almost broken, and perfect for me.
But she has to finish breaking before she’ll ever really be mine. I’m happy to do that for her.
“You want food?” I ask, spinning around as I open the door. “Beg, Janele. Get on your fucking knees and beg for it. I’ll be watching.”
Janele
The door shuts behind Xavier with a finality that makes me shake and even though there’s still rage coursing through my body, I sink to the floor, gripping the edge of the table for support.
What the hell just happened?
He brought me a nice lunch, possibly to make up for making me suck his cock, and I threw it all right back in his face.
Then again, it wasn’t like I tried to fight him very hard, was it? I liked the feeling of his cock in my mouth, liked knowing that I had a little bit of control over him and the pleasure that he got. I’ve never done that with a man before but there was something wonderful about it.
I see how it could quickly become addictive, but it’s not going to. This is all my body’s fault for betraying me.
The floor is cold under me but I don’t move. I don’t deserve to move, don’t deserve to be anywhere comfortable. I fucked up, again, and what I’m going through right now is my fault.
It’s just like when my mom died. Even though the Columbo family paid for the best possible treatment for her, we all knew that she was living on borrowed time. We all knew that she would die.
And she did.
And I got the blame. Burying my face in my hands, I try to hide from the memories that wash over me, but they just keep coming. I can’t make them stop, can’t seem to pretend like nothing ever happened.
I remember my mom dying, then I remember my dad locking me in my room. He couldn’t bear to see me, couldn’t handle the idea of having me in his life when I was such a dead ringer for my mother.
He told me that he didn’t want to be reminded of her. That he couldn’t handle having me around when I looked so much like her. That’s when he locked me away, got me a personal maid.
But I hadn’t ever known that he’d wanted me to come and live with the Columbo family then. I try to imagine what my life would have been like if I’d grown up with Xavier. Would I love him now?
At the very least, would I be less terrified of him?
Even though I’m filled with fear every single time I’m near him, there’s something about him that draws me to him. I can’t help the fact that he’s gorgeous, that his strong jaw and muscle-wrapped body turn me on.
I’m not sure what to do with the feelings coursing through me. I want him, but at the same time, I hate him. I feel this undeniable urge to destroy him, to tear him down so that he’s suffering the same that I am. I want him to hurt, want him to feel the same terrible pain that I do.
I wallow for a long time before finally pulling myself up off the floor. My stomach rumbles loudly but I ignore it. If he’s serious about me begging for food then I’ll have to eventually, but there’s no way that I’m doing that right now.
I’m not giving him that pleasure before I have to. No, the best thing for me to do is lock away the panic and fear that I feel and come up with another plan. Xavier is the most powerful man I’ve ever met, but that doesn’t mean that he’s invincible.
That simply means that I have to find out what will take him down.
Everyone has a weakness. He loves being in control and is used to it, but I’m sure that it hasn’t always been like that. I have a very good feeling that he had to fight to get to where he is now.
I just have to figure out what I can use against him. I have to get Xavier to open up to me and then use anything he gives me to tear him down. It’s the only way that I’m going to survive.
Xavier
Janele didn’t ask for food the rest of the day. The morning dawns bright and fresh and I immediately flick to the camera app on my phone to see what she’s up to. She’s in bed, stretched out like she’s dead and I feel a pang of fear shoot through me before I see her breathe.
I watch her for just a moment, enjoying the time spent keeping an eye on her, but as I’m staring at my screen, a message pops up from Benito.
The Dicaso family wants to meet.
I roll my eyes and text back without even getting out of bed.
I have nothing to say to them.
Even though I’d love to stay in bed all day, I know that it’s all about to go down. Getting up, I shower quickly and then dress before heading downstairs to make some breakfast. Janele is still in bed, still refusing to beg for food. She has water down there so I know that she’ll be fine for a long time.
I just wish that she’d break. I want to spend time with her, get to know her better, and maybe take a roll in the hay. Even though the contract says that I’m not supposed to touch her before we’re married, having her mouth on my cock is all I can think about now.
