Blasted Bloomers (Loon Lake Magic, #0), page 1
Loon Lake Presents
BLASTED BLOOMERS
Copyright © 2016 by Maaja Wentz
PUBLISHED BY:
Loon Lake
All rights reserved
FIRST EDITION
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LICENSE NOTES
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Thank you for respecting my work. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
For permission requests, write to the publisher at maajawentz.com.
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Table of Contents
Copyright Page
Dedication
BLASTED BLOOMERS
About the author
Feeding Frenzy
Loon Lake Reading Club
Dedicated to my friends and family, Bloor West Writers group, Writers' Circle of Durham Region, and my friends and readers on Wattpad.
BLASTED BLOOMERS
By Maaja Wentz
IN THE MOVIES, magic is big. It’s all dragons and wizards and fighting evil, but in Loon Lake, magic is part of the landscape — a secret kept from the outside world.
Tonya’s parents officially condemned magic use and her aunt never practised publicly, but Tonya wasn’t fooled. Aunt Helene could charm the shell off a turtle then sell it back for profit. The same power that made her supernaturally persuasive also made it easy to distract the minds of those who wished to trace the source of her power. Where did it come from? At seventeen, Tonya itched to know, especially when Aunt Helene came to stay with them for a couple of days while her Herbal Healing shop underwent renovations.
That night, the sound of women giggling woke Tonya.
Tonya’s bedroom was on the second floor of their split level home. Driven by curiosity, she got out of bed. Tonya slipped out of her room and went to the pine handrail which fenced off the upstairs hallway from the high-ceilinged living room below.
Her mother and Aunt Helene sat on a worn leather couch on the wall farthest from Tonya. Soft light reflected off two glasses and the whiskey bottle which sat on the coffee table in front of them. Tonya had seen her mother drink wine, even beer, but never whiskey. Was something wrong? From the way they whispered and snickered like schoolgirls, it didn’t seem so. She stepped back from the railing into the shadows where she couldn’t be seen.
“I can’t believe you dated that guy.” Tonya’s mother laughed. Tonya wished she could see their faces but the lamp behind them cast the women’s features in shadow.
“He had a motorcycle. I’d never ridden one. What did you expect?”
“You could’ve said no.”
“I could’ve said a lot of things. I can be very persuasive.”
Her mother raised a glass to Aunt Helene. “To persuasion!” They clinked.
“And bloomers.” Aunt Helene’s voice was husky.
“Just when you need them the most,” said her mother.
The bloomers, of course! They had to be enchanted.
The women’s voices dropped back to whispers and Tonya stepped to the railing to hear better. A loud creak in the floorboards betrayed her.
“Honey, is that you?” Her mother’s voice sounded concerned. Giggling youth fell away in an instant, catapulting Mom back into parent mode.
“Yes. I just got up to... goodnight,” said Tonya. How stupid to get caught, just when they were discussing her aunt’s seductive powers! Tonya figured she could use some extra charm. She was a bit shy, a bit chubby, and although she was in senior year, no boy had ever asked her out.
She didn’t need to be popular. She just wanted to attract Vince, the boy in her English class who argued that in Hamlet, Ophelia shouldn’t drown.
“It’s the third millennium,” he had argued in class. “Couldn’t she be heroic and save Hamlet from himself?”
“Then it wouldn’t be a tragedy,” the teacher had answered.
“Exactly.”
The class had started applauding.
Tonya had to admire his original take on Hamlet. Too bad each time he passed her locker, he never spared her a glance. Sharp, sensitive Vince would be perfect for her, and she knew she would be good for him, except he would never know. Guys that cute never noticed her.
THE NEXT DAY, she was walking down the hallway, books to her chest (well, maybe a little lower) to hide her stomach. Vince’s buddy Tarvor called out, “Hey Tonya.” She wanted to keep walking. Tarvor was with Ginette, a mean girl who called Tonya ‘fatty’ in gym class. Tonya refused to skitter by like a frightened mouse. She turned to face her tormentors head on, hoping they couldn’t see how trembly her legs felt.
“Yes Tarvor?”
He had his arm around Ginette. She was trim and chesty with light brown skin and relaxed hair. He was six foot three inches of lean muscle with chiselled cheekbones. He even had blonde hair and a cleft chin, like some good guy Mountie. Talk about irony.
“Where are you going, Bookworm?”
Ginette tittered at the thrust of his rapier wit.
“Lunch. Did you want to come with me?” Tonya knew she shouldn’t poke the bear but couldn’t help herself. Why not pretend they were friends with innocent intentions?
“I couldn’t watch,” said Ginette. She pointed at Tonya’s lunch bag. “You must eat a hundred pounds of food a day, like a great big hippo.”
Not again. Her words made Tonya want to cry. She turned and fled to the library before the tears came, tossing her lunch into the trash can inside. She didn’t calm down until she got her favorite book from the shelf, a huge Ray Bradbury anthology, and brought it to her usual study carrel.
Pretty soon she was lost in “The Veldt,” Bradbury’s story about a fantastical lion safari that ends in tragedy. In her mind, she heard the screams of the victims, torn apart by hungry lions and, somehow, even though it probably shouldn’t have, it made her feel better. Especially when she imagined Ginette getting eaten first and big dumb Tarvor running in to save her, like self-delivering dessert.
By the time the bell rang, announcing the end of lunch, her eyes were dry and she felt better. She got up to leave but Tarvor’s buddy Vince was coming toward her. What did he want? Did Tarvor tell him to laugh at her too?
“There you are.” He smiled. “I looked for you in the cafeteria. Guess I should have tried here first.”
Tonya shrugged. “I love this book, but it’s too big to take out of the library.”
Vince smiled, crinkling up the edges of his eyes and revealing perfect white teeth. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? His proximity was making her dizzy.
“I guess so.” He looked at the book. It filled most of the tabletop. “I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to ask you a favour.”
“Sure,” she said. Anything. She was just so happy Vince was talking to her.
“I don’t think I understand the molarity problems and since you always hand in your chemistry tests first...”
He noticed! “Of course I can help. Right now?” It was time to go to class.
“I thought maybe we could skip English together and stay here,” he said.
Tonya almost said no. Vince was Tarvor’s friend. This could all be a set up. She could just imagine that bully telling Vince to make the smart kid skip English to get her in trouble. Except if he stayed, they would be missing class together. Vince really was here to see her!
“Okay. Let’s see it.”
Vince pulled a chair up to the study carrel and sat right next to her. It was distracting to feel the heat radiating from his arm so close to hers but she went over the first problem, explaining carefully.
“Okay, let me do the next one,” he said.
With a little prompting, he used Avogadro’s number correctly, then did the third problem on his own.
“Perfect,” she said.
“Thanks.” He looked at his phone, sitting on the table. “If we leave now we won’t miss too much.”
“I thought you wanted to skip,” said Tonya.
“C’mon.” He stood and waited for her to do the same.
They made it to the English corridor only ten minutes late. As he reached for the doorknob, she stole a glance at his broad shoulders and sculpted biceps. Could he be more perfect?
AFTER SCHOOL, Vince came by her locker and suggested they do their homework in the library. He said there were a few more points of chemistry he wasn’t sure about. He grinned, as if the chemistry he was talking about was a lot more exciting than textbooks. That grin and the way he kept running his hand through his hair made Tonya think he was starting to like her, that is, until he blurted:
“Do you want to see a movie?”
“Uh, I guess.” Too good to be true? It seemed like a big coincidence to ask her right after Ginette and Tarvor mocked her in the hallway.
“How about tonight?”
“Okay.” Could Ginette and Tarvor be using Vince to humiliate her? They loved watching her squirm but even they wouldn’t go that far, would they?
“Why now? We’ve been in chemistry and English class together all year and today is the first time you’ve even talked to me.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. So, interested or not?”
If he were asking her out on a dare from Tarvor, so what? So what if Vince was smart and so gorgeous his face should be on a poster. No matter why he had chosen her, he had chosen her, and Tonya would have a whole evening to convince him she was worth it.
WHEN SHE GOT HOME, it was bright and sunny out, a perfectly warm late spring Friday afternoon. Tonya walked along the side of the house into the backyard to check out the garden. The tulips and daffodils had come and gone, and new flowers were poking up through the earth. To celebrate the sunny weather, her mother had hung the wash on the line in the backyard. She did it a couple of times a year with the linens and whites, claiming sunshine was better than bleach for making them bright again.
Between two sheets, Tonya saw an oddly rounded item flapping in the breeze. In the strong spring sun, it looked lit from within, despite being greyed and worn thin by years of use. Were they what she thought they were? Tonya dashed to the line and pinched the clothes peg to release the biggest, flappiest pair of ladies’ bloomers she had ever seen.
These unfamiliar underthings must be Aunt Helene’s magical bloomers. Tonya was sure of it. Aunt Helene’s other clothes came from Paris and New York, and her shoes were from Italy. She was the most stylish woman in Loon Lake. Why else would she keep such floppy granny pants unless they were charmed? These must be the secret bloomers her mother and aunt had been giggling about.
With the bloomers, Tonya would be invincible. No guy, not even handsome, white-toothed Vince, could resist a woman wearing Helene’s charmed drawers. Of course, he must never know about them. She would just wear them on their date to make sure he fell for her.
That evening, Tonya put on the magic bloomers but could not decide what to wear over them. It had to be something that didn’t cling. The bloomers fit loosely and came up to her belly button. They were grey and kind of scratchy, too. Couldn’t Aunt Helene have chosen bikini briefs or a nice pair of boy shorts to enchant?
There was no time to wonder. Vince might drive up any minute and she still couldn’t decide between jeans and a miniskirt. She threw on a top that could go with either and slipped on a long jersey skirt while she was trying to decide. She put on some lipstick and ran a brush through her hair. Jeans, definitely jeans.
The doorbell rang.
Still wearing the long skirt, Tonya ran downstairs to let Vince in. As she opened the door, her dad’s car pulled up.
“Let me grab my phone,” she told Vince.
By the time she found it, her dad was shaking Vince’s hand. Tonya made the introductions.
“Be home by midnight.” Dad gave Vince a hard look.
“Just like Cinderella,” Tonya promised.
Vince smiled. “We should go.”
She grabbed her purse and they left.
It wasn’t until they were halfway there that Tonya remembered. She had forgotten to change into jeans.
THEY WERE RUNNING LATE but fortunately there wasn’t a ticket line. Vince wanted to see a generic action thriller, which proved to Tonya that he wasn’t perfect after all. He bought them popcorn and big drinks, and they found central seats near the back of the theatre. This would’ve made Tonya nervous if she thought Vince was likely to put the moves on her, but since when had any guy put the moves on her? When he took her hand during the trailers, it was the first time a boy had held her hand. His felt warm and a little bit calloused. She found her mind wandering to all the things he might do to get those callouses. She had watched him playing rugby. Did he play other sports? Did he like to build things? Did he have a part-time job? It was so frustrating, sitting in the theatre with a head full of questions but unable to talk.
He let go her hand during the opening action sequence. Vince was clearly entranced by the cars racing and explosions on the screen. They held hands again much later, when the plot slowed down. The hostages were going to dig a tunnel to escape their terrorist captors. It was also right about this moment that Tonya felt the bloomers activate — that is to say, they started to feel warm and itchy right when Vince placed his hand on her thigh, just above the knee. Thank goodness she hadn’t worn the miniskirt.
Oh God. What if the only reason he liked her was because she was wearing the bloomers?
When he moved his hand a little further up her leg, whether on purpose or not, she gasped. What if this wasn’t the way he would normally act? What if he lost control? He could be acting under the influence of Aunt Helene’s charmed bloomers. The more she thought about it, the more she realized this wasn’t fair to Vince. It wasn’t right to use magic on a guy to attract him. If he had used any kind of love charm on her, Tonya would be furious. This couldn’t go on.
“Be right back.” She stood up and excused herself to the four people she needed to slide by to get out to the aisle. She dashed to the bathroom where she slipped off her aunt’s bloomers and hid them in her purse. As Tonya came out of the toilet stall, she caught sight of her flushed face in the bathroom mirror. Her wavy red hair looked good, and the top she was wearing gave her admirable cleavage. Nice face, shame about your belly.
She threw her shoulders back and thrust out her chest. Much better. Standing up straight made her look ten pounds lighter. Maybe I should stand up straight in school sometime. With that thought, she held her head high, all the way back to the theatre.
It was so embarrassing, sliding in front of the same four people she had disturbed on the way out. She sat down beside Vince, who seemed completely engrossed in the film. He didn’t touch her again. He didn’t take her hand. He didn’t even look at her, although she spent a lot of time looking at the side of his face, lit up by the blue light of the screen. Was that it? He was just going to watch the movie now, as if nothing had happened?
Tonya tried to focus her attention back on the film, but all she could see were the kidnappees, crouched in a dimly lit tunnel. The dialogue was mostly about dirt and fear, and none of the characters were particularly interesting. Their faces were so muddy she could hardly tell them apart. Tonya’s attention was fully on Vince. Where before he had seemed really into her, now all he wanted to do was watch this terrible, terrible movie. Her worst fears were coming true. Vince really did only ask her out because his buddies put him up to it. Without the extra charm of the bloomers, Vince didn’t feel any attraction at all. Monday, at school, he would tell his friends. Ginette and Tarvor would make fun of her for thinking a cute, popular guy like Vince could like her.
Tonya couldn’t stand it anymore. Either he liked her or he just liked the bloomers. She had to find out. Otherwise, how would she know what to expect at school? She excused herself again, this time squeezing by the four patrons a little bit faster and with a little less apology. It took about sixty seconds to get to the bathroom and slam the stall door behind her. She pulled the ugly grey bloomers out of her purse and put them on again.
She charged back into the theatre, head held high. At least now she would know whether the truth was as handsome as Vince or as butt ugly as her baggy unmentionables.
Returning to the aisle, she whispered, “Excuse me.” She slid by the four patrons almost roughly this time, causing one of them to shout: “For crying out loud, sit down so I can see.”
“Sorry.” Tonya slipped into her seat and dropped her head into her hands. She had gone crazy and it was turning her into a rude person. She could be a lot of things: shy, geeky, maybe even a little boring sometimes, but never rude.
“Are you okay?” Vince was looking right at her, his expression soft with concern. He took her hands into his and looked into her eyes.
“Sorry,” Tonya said. “Wardrobe malfunction.”
The minute she said it, she wished she had said anything else because he threw an arm around her and, without waiting for permission, ran a hand over her breast.
“What the hell!”
He recoiled as if bitten. “Sorry, sorry. I thought you said you took off your bra.”
“Shhh!” said someone behind them.
“On the first date?” Tonya felt her face heating up.
He shrugged. “You wouldn’t be the first. Girls really like me.”
