Blue Burn, page 22
“Do it,” I said with equal conviction, recovering much of the hope I had lost over the last week in a single moment.
“Doing it,” David replied with a smile, switching back into his simulator.
I clapped my hand on his shoulder. “You’re going to do this, David. I know it.”
“Thanks for the vote of support, Ben. I am going to do this.”
The main door to the lab slid open and Matt walked in. His expression was a sharp contrast to mine, as down as I had ever seen on him. He spotted me and hurried over, nearly colliding with the glass door in his impatience for it to open.
“Ben,” he said.
“Matt, what’s up?”
“We have a problem.”
“No, we have a possible solution,” I countered. “David and Keep think they’ve figured out how to get to a sigil that’ll help me.”
“That’s great, man. But it doesn’t solve our problem. It actually makes it worse.”
“What do you mean?”
“Zar, Druck, and I finished cleaning everything else, so we figured we’d check in on Storage. Keep, you said there should be catalyst, or materials for catalyst in there, right?”
“Yeppers,” Keep answered. “More than enough to make one sigil.”
Matt was already shaking his head. “The storage room is empty. Cleaned out.”
“What?”
“My thought exactly. Is it possible the scientists took it with them when they left the station?”
“Nope. They left cups of coffee on their desks, they didn’t stick around to load heavy metal into their escape craft.”
“Then where did the catalyst go?” I asked.
Keep stared at me, dumbfounded. “I have no idea, kid. At all. Did you check the assembler?”
“Quasar’s checking it now,” Matt said.
As if on cue, the lab door opened again. Quasar and Druck hurried in, Shaq on Zar’s shoulder. She shook her head emphatically, indicating the assembler was also empty.
“Shit,” Keep seethed in a rare display of frustration. “How the hell can this be possible?”
My stomach sank, and I slumped to a sitting position on top of the table, lowering my head into my hand. A major potential breakthrough, and then this? It was so damn unfair.
“Are you totally sure those were Royal Guard drones out there?” Matt asked. “Because it sure seems like someone else was here.”
“That’s impossible.”
“And yet, all the catalyst is gone.”
Keep shook his head. “Then it doesn’t matter if we come up with the sigil. Without catalyst, we’re done.”
“Maybe we can find some,” Quasar said.
“And how do you propose doing that?”
“I don’t know. We should have checked Storage as soon as we got here.”
“There was no reason to think it would be empty,” Keep replied defensively. “Who could have known this place existed, let alone found it, got inside, and took all the catalyst without disturbing anything or leaving a trace?”
“One name comes to my mind,” Matt said.
“Begins with suck and ends with ass?” Druck asked.
“Yeah. He seems to know quite a bit. Maybe as much if not more than you do, Keep. And we did take the catalyst materials he collected on Earth out of play.”
“I can’t even begin to tell you how bad it would be if you’re right,” Keep said. “Not only can he make a shipload of sigiltech devices, but the fact that he didn’t stick around to use the assembler means he likely has one of his own.”
“There’s no material for Ben,” Matt snapped. “That’s as bad as it gets.”
We fell into a tense, brooding silence. I closed my eyes, coughed a few times, and otherwise felt like I was ready to die right now so I wouldn’t have to go through another round of disappointment. Finally, I let loose a resigned exhale and lifted my head. The fates had already decided I was meant to die. I couldn’t fight it anymore. “It’s over, crew. I’m sorry you wasted your energy unpacking. It’s time to pack it back up and move on.”
CHAPTER 35
The others stayed behind in the lab to vent their frustrations, argue whether or not we should leave, and otherwise bicker back and forth in a way they had rarely done before. They all knew what it meant for us to give up here, though the reasons for their upset varied. I was sure Gia would have a couple of cents to add for herself once she heard the news. Keep had said the crew would do whatever I asked them to, but they didn’t even notice when I left.
Shaq stayed with me as I made the walk from the lab to the hangar, pausing a couple of times to cough and steady myself. After Matt, I would miss him the most. Though we could barely communicate, he was always there for me, offering a nuzzle to my neck or just perching on my shoulder, ready to defend me from any threat we faced no matter how dangerous. We didn’t need a lot of words to be close.
“Ben, is everything okay?” Matt asked over the comms, having finally realized I’d left.
“As good as it gets,” I replied. “I just don’t have the energy to listen to you all argue. It’s not going to change anything anyway.”
“We’re going to figure something out. If Gia can track down another shipment from Sedaya, we might find some catalyst on board and—”
“Matt,” I interrupted. “I know you want to save me, and I appreciate the hell out of it. But I can tell I don’t have any time left. I’m done.”
“I don’t accept that.”
“And you won’t, even after I’m gone. I wouldn’t if the situation was flipped. But that doesn’t change anything.”
“Keep said we should be able to modify the assembler to break down his sleeve and reassemble it with new sigils. Because of the sickness, he’d need to use the sigil on you to have an effect, but it could work as a short term fix.”
I should have felt hopeful about that idea, but my heart just wasn’t in it. “I don’t want a hack or a patch to stay alive. I just want to accept it at this point. I want to be able to make peace with the fact that I’m going to die instead of fighting it forever. I know that’s not what you want to hear from me, but I need your support.”
“I want to support you, Ben. I do. But we’re still brainstorming. I’ll let you know.”
I sighed. “Okay. I’m going to shut my comms off so I can rest. We can talk later.” I turned off the comm and sighed again.
“Are you okay?” Shaq buzzed.
“I don’t know what I am right now, bud. Too many conflicting emotions.”
I couldn’t understand his response. That he didn’t offer platitudes meant a lot to me. “I’m sorry I won’t have a chance to learn your language.”
“Me too,” he buzzed back. Out of everyone, he seemed to be the only one who accepted my decision with grace. Who wasn’t in denial about the fate that waited for me sooner than I wanted to admit.
“You’re going to keep an eye on Matt for me though, right?”
“Mmm--hmmm.” He said more, buzzing out one of the longest diatribes I had heard from him. He knew I wouldn’t understand, but it seemed like something he really wanted to say, and when he finished he pressed himself tighter against my neck, emitting a high-pitched buzz that I took as sobbing. The mournful sound brought tears to my eyes too, and I rested my hand over his warm, soft body, appreciating the moment.
Reaching the hangar, I came to a stop in front of Head Case, looking up at the ship. The ears were in rough shape, but the rest of the spaceship looked just like it had the first time I saw it. It had only been a couple of months, but right now it felt like my entire lifetime.
“We had a pretty good run, didn’t we?” I said, placing my palm against the ship's skin, twisting my mouth to mimic its open grin. I laughed at the stupidity of it before ascending the ramp into the hangar. My heart ached as I made my way to the elevator. Not that any of this had been easy, but I was already missing it.
I stopped in the lounge to sit while I waited for a bout of dizziness to subside. From there, I headed to my room, plopping down at the edge of my bed. Shaq jumped off my shoulder and sat beside me, his quizzical look bringing a smile to my face.
“I know it’s not intentional, but you look so damn cute like that,” I said.
“Shut up,” he buzzed, embarrassed.
We both laughed.
I glanced at my nightstand, gaze lingering before I pulled open the drawer to reveal Bill and George’s gift. Just in case. In case of failure? In case of death? I never really knew what that meant. I had probably thought about it a lot more than the two men had ever intended or considered I might. They were both surprised I hadn’t already opened it. What had I been saving it for, anyway? Maybe the gift itself meant more to me than the contents. So much that I didn’t want to ruin the idea of the present with the outcome of whatever waited inside.
Picking it up, I looked at Shaq. “What do you think, bud? Should I open it?”
“Mmm-hmmm,” he buzzed emphatically.
“Okay,” I agreed. I removed the tag and pulled the ribbon to untie it.
“Seriously?” Shaq buzzed in response to my fastidiousness.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I agreed, smiling as I tore off the wrapping paper like it was Christmas morning, revealing a child’s shoe box underneath. I was pretty sure George hadn’t given me a pair of Kyrie’s shoes. I grabbed the lid and lifted it off, staring down at the contents.
Shaq let out a shrill buzz and began bounding around my bed excitedly, as if he had a case of the zoomies. Fresh tears sprang to my eyes, only this time they weren’t out of sad hopelessness.
A small chunk of rock the size of a golf ball rested on top of a bunch of newspaper and cotton balls stuffed into the box. A golden color with flecks of silver and black, I recognized it right away. We had thrown all of it out of the back of the Humvee at Alonzo Dellaqua’s processing facility.
Or so I had thought.
My hands shook as I reached for a note folded beside it. Shaq returned to my shoulder to read as I unfolded the paper.
Ben,
We don’t know if this will be useful to you at some point in the future. All we know is that it seemed valuable even though Avelus didn’t want you to have it, so we had to make it a little less obvious that we kept a small piece (George shoved it in his pocket when you emptied out the Hummer. LOL). If nothing else, you can use it as a paperweight (do they even have paper in the Spiral?) or just a little tchotchke to remember us by. Anyways, best of luck on your adventures. We hope to see you again sometime. You’ll always be welcome at either of our farms.
Best wishes,
The Frasiers and the Ackermanns.
I glanced at Shaq, face moist. “They have no idea what they just did.”
He buzzed back something that sounded like, “you should have opened it sooner, dummy.” But maybe that was just my translation given the situation.
I turned my comms back on. “Keep, Matt.”
“Ben,” Matt replied, concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. Better than fine.” I started laughing. “You’re never going to believe this.”
CHAPTER 36
Thanks to Bill and George, we didn’t pack up. Instead, we doubled-down. All of our focus turned to providing Keep and David anything and everything they needed so they could keep working on the sigils. Somebody was always on gopher duty, ready to provide them with coffee, snacks, meals, or whatever else they might request.
Meanwhile, Gia announced she had compiled a list of four companies she believed might have constructed the blueburn. Intriguingly, one of them was under Sedaya’s flag and two were in Nobukku’s territory. The last had a manufacturing facility on America, the third settled world in the Hegemony which sat within the Empress’ immediate sphere of influence and direct rule.
I didn’t really see most of the developments that followed my reveal of the catalyst material Bill and George had gifted me. Cancer was like a snowball, and now that it had built momentum it sent me downhill at an ever increasing pace. I spent most of my time calmed to sleep. Keep slowed the runaway train as best he could while he and David raced the clock.
“Ben,” Matt said, shaking me out of my unnatural slumber. “Ben. Wake up.”
I looked up at him. He had a huge grin on his face. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen him happier. “What’s going on?” I asked, getting excited for what I expected he might say.
“He did it,” Matt answered with a laugh. “David actually did it.”
“What?” I said, practically jumping out of bed. “Are you serious?”
“That’s what he said. As long as the simulation’s good, he found a solution.”
I knew all of his test simulations had been accurate to date. Using the symbols we knew against his program, they had all output the desired effects. The whole idea of testing a sigil seemed so crazy, but then again, that was the difference between magic and technology. One could be described by equations and proofs. The other wasn’t real.
“Why are we standing here then?” I asked. “Let’s go.”
I tried to hurry away from the bed, forgetting my shoes in the process. The room started spinning, and Matt caught me before I fell flat on my face.
“Whoa, not so fast,” he said, easily holding me up. Two weeks since we had arrived on Omega Station, and I had lost all of the muscle it took me two months to gain and then some. “Keep’s running your catalyst material through the assembler. He said that’ll take a little while. Alter’s working on an interface so David can upload the sigil to the etcher from his laptop.”
A chill ran through me with his mention of the etcher. Standard sigils were etched into catalyst material by the assembler during their construction, outputting a full device. Gilding was different. Instead of producing a functional piece, the assembler would provide a liquified catalyst composed primarily of the chunk of ore combined with some other minerals we had fortunately been able to scrounge up from other places, palladium from one of Head Case’s turret controllers, for example. That molten gold would be loaded into the etcher, which turned out to be a component of the dentist’s chair in the lab. The sigil—or sigils, in the case of a full Gilded—would be loaded into the machine and a robotic arm would get to work making precise cuts in the subject’s flesh to create the sigils, injecting the catalyst behind it.
Most importantly for a passive sigil, the catalyst had to go deep to reach enough blood supply to power it continuously. And any kind of anesthetic or even calming could mess with the outcome. In other words, I was going to feel every single slice, plus the hot metal pouring into the wound. As I had seen on Alonzo Dellaqua, those cuts could be overlapped to use the same lines for multiple sigils in what Keep had called a construct. That would reduce the overall pain, but was small comfort.
That it might save my life was pretty motivating, at least. “No pain, no gain, right?”
“Right,” Matt agreed.
I put on my shoes and let him support me as we made our way from my small room in the station’s living area to the lab. David jumped up from his workspace when he saw me enter, running over to me as Matt and I approached him.
“I told you I would do it, and I did it,” he said excitedly. “Nailed that son of a bitch!”
“I knew you would,” I replied, matching his enthusiasm as I clamped my hand on his shoulder and gave him a small shake to show my appreciation. “I only doubted you for a few seconds.”
He laughed and waved me toward his setup. “Let me show you.”
Mechanic Alter crouched between his desk and a cabinet next to the dentist chair, rigging a wire between his laptop and the box. She didn’t look up at me when I entered the room. I shuddered at the chair as we passed it before turning my attention to his screen. The sigil’s shape didn’t mean a whole lot to me, but it was more intricate than any of the others I had seen.
“Pretty cool, huh?” David said. “Do you recognize it?”
“Should I?”
“Looks kind of like an ocean wave,” Matt said.
“Close. It’s a dragon curve. From chaos theory. Only I invented this specific type myself. Well, actually the equations for the sigil effect dictated the shape but, you know, I came up with it so it was me.”
“This is restore?” I asked.
“Pretty much,” David replied. “I don’t know if it’s the same restore Keep has but it does the same thing.”
“And it’ll cure my cancer.”
“It should, yeah. I mean, ideally we’d build an extension to my software to run it against models of your cells and all that, but we don’t have three years. And also, your blood is atypical and doesn’t match anything I’m running the simulation against so there’s that too. It’s the best chance you have, but it’s still fifty-fifty that it’ll kill you.”
“I’m willing to take that risk,” I said.
“I figured you would be.” He leaned over the table to look at Alter. “How much longer do you think you need?”
“Almost done,” she replied without looking at him. An array of tools were spread out at her feet. She dropped one and picked up another, crimping the wires. “Few more minutes.”
“That’ll give Avelus time to finish assembling the catalyst,” David said. He motioned to the dentist chair. “Feel free to sit. Did you decide where you want it?”
“How big will it be on my skin?”
“About six inches by two inches. Orientation doesn’t matter.”
“I was thinking my back would be the best spot then.”
“Sounds good to me. You’ll need to take off your shirt.”
I nodded, pulling it off and falling into the dentist chair as another wave of dizziness hit me.
“Man, you lost a lot more weight than I realized,” Matt said on seeing me shirtless.
“I can gain it back if this works,” I replied.
