My Girlfriend, the Witch-Queen, page 14
I checked my cellphone. 7 AM Imperial Time. According to the GPS, we were close to the Capital. “We’re almost home.”
“Great.” She breathed deeply. “I… need to be alone for a bit.”
I put the curtain back up.
Lynn kissed me goodbye outside of my apartment. “See ya!” She snapped her fingers and disappeared.
The first thing I wanted do was go back to sleep. I walked inside to find Alice waiting for me with a pile of magazines on the coffee table.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.
“Just here with some advice,” she said.
“I really need to… sleep…” I trailed off when I saw the top magazine. Weddings Tomorrow. “For God’s sake, Alice—”
“For humanity’s sake,” she interrupted. “Lynn’s happy and stable right now. She’d be even more stable if you started sleeping with each other—”
“Listen, we were in separate beds…” I facepalmed at my own words. “I didn’t say that.”
“Ah, so you’re already on the way,” Alice said with a smile.
“Alice, we’ve been officially a couple for a few days.”
“Then give it a few more weeks. Considering the sort of trashy romance novels the Imperatrix reads—”
I groaned. “Just…”
She pulled out a jewelry magazine from the stack. “Don’t worry about the cost. I’ll bankroll you. For all of our sakes.”
“Right now, the roll I want is a bed roll. By myself.”
“But the sooner you marry, the sooner you can share it.”
“Alice!”
“Well?” She continued to smile.
I sighed deliberately. “Yes, I’m attracted to her. But I have standards. I’m going to treat her like a decent human—”
“Then marry her. My husband proposed to me in the first week.”
“Please, Alice, I’ve been on a long trip, and I didn’t get much sleep—”
“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow.
“For God’s sake, it was just because she woke up screaming.”
Alice instantly turned serious.
“She… she said she has PTSD,” I explained.
“She never said anything about that to me, though I’m not surprised.”
“She had this book and frantically looked through it. I have no idea what that was about.”
“I know she has a book with the list of all her daemons. Most high magisters have something like that. But I wouldn’t know, either.” She looked at me in the eyes. “You are the one human being alive who she really trusts. You can save us all. And that starts—”
“With me getting some sleep,” I finished. “Give me time, all right?”
“As long as you realize how much destruction Lynn can cause when she’s angry.” Alice muttered in Latin and disappeared.
I looked at the magazines. For all my arguing, truth was, part of me did want to have her right away, in every sense of the term.
Amanda and I had talked about it. But considering how that ended, I didn’t want to repeat the experience. No, I needed to make sure, first. Make sure that this was what I wanted, and I was ready, and so was Lynn.
I got out my rosary. Time to keep her in my prayers.
Kyle was on trial for treason, in a kangaroo court in a corrugated-roof building, and I kept arguing for his innocence, but every time I said something the SMP would present some new evidence, and Kyle would say something stupider, and Lynn sat there on the judge’s bench and watched…
I woke up, relieved it was only a nightmare.
I staggered out into my apartment, but then realized what I hadn’t noticed due to both Alice and jet lag: it was different. What were all those boxes?
One had a note.
Hey, Mike, I realized you could use your stuff. So here it is! I even got that framed bottle cap that your mom talked about. xoxoxo Lynn, I.M.
I opened up the box to see the soft green form of Ellie the Elephant inside a clear evidence bag.
I first felt disconcerted, then violated, then relieved. I pulled her out and stroked her felt. I had been super attached to my stuffed animals for a long time. Still was, I realized. Nostalgia flooded through me. Ellie looked back with her unchanged eager eyes, as if wondering what adventures her master had gone on to without her.
I put Ellie back in the box. I would need to put her somewhere safe, as well as the rest of my old friends. And speaking of putting things away, I would have to hide the wedding magazines, lest Lynn see them.
Please God, I prayed, Let Lynn not have arrived when I was asleep and seen all of them.
I found a cabinet to stick the magazines in, and… another cabinet to stick the box of my stuffed animals in, after I had removed them from the evidence bags. The rest of the boxes could wait.
I walked out to the mail room and checked my mail. The mailbox was crammed full of letters.
I squeezed it out and sorted through it. Most was junk, and most of that was charities asking for my money. Then there was a thick envelope from Monte Carlo Casino. “Time to face the music,” I grumbled to myself as I opened it.
Dear Mr. Michael Mason
We sincerely apologize for your treatment—
What the hell? I had been out of line and they apologized to me?
I scanned down the page of increasing amounts of literary chest-beating and then tore the letter in two. The rest of the envelope was various logistical details about my winnings, including a check. I had won a little under 2 million IM, from the money I already won or gotten from Lynn.
Yeah, I still needed to apologize to the asshole, and what would I do with the money?
The thought now disgusted me. Look at me, in a practical palace in the Palace, and my friends and family lived in tents… How could I even…
Wait a minute.
A thought entered my mind.
I got out my cellphone and dialed Alice.
“Yes?” she asked eagerly.
“Could you come over here? I want to talk to you.”
She popped into my vision in a literal instant. “What do you need?”
“Uh, this isn’t about that.”
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Just give me time,” I pleaded. “Listen, I…” The idea sounded crazy. “I want to start a charity.”
“Certainly. What do you want?”
“I want to create a fund to resettle people in refugee camps.”
“How are you planning to do this? Have you researched why they’re there?”
“Lynn said that they needed money,” I said. I held up the check. “I have money.”
“I’m not sure what you’re planning, but that’s not enough. Are you thinking of unconditional cash payments, building new housing…?”
“New housing.”
“Two million will buy you four to nine houses, or one apartment building in a poor area.”
I frowned.
“I’m not discouraging you,” Alice said. “I have this conversation with the Imperatrix regularly, whenever she wants to give more money away. Money doesn’t always go as far as it sounds.”
“What does she do?”
“She issues an Imperial Grant. Which I’m sure she’ll do for you.” Alice winked. “You can also get Royal Grants from local dominions.”
“All right,” I said. “How do I set it up?”
“It may take a bit, but we can move fast. I would recommend starting as soon as possible, to avoid Lynn’s mood shifting and her getting bored.”
“Right,” I said. “Let’s get started.”
A large amount of money has an amazing ability: it puts life on fast-forward. Two weeks later, the Mason Foundation had an office in the Capital and a meeting set up with a huge number of donors.
His Royal Highness Prince Frederik of the Scandinavian dominion was among them.
I decided not to have a fit about it. In any case, my life was going just fine. Lynn was frequently busy, but she fit in time with me whenever she could. I didn’t broach the subject of the Big M, nor did she, but I wondered if she was thinking about it already, too.
But whatever. I showed up that Friday in a fancy suit to see the donors had already gathered. Most of Lynn’s friends were already there, talking and joking with each other. I recognized a few celebrities, as well as a tall, dark-skinned man who everyone seemed to look at with envy.
“The man of the hour!” Raphael toasted me with a glass of some white liquid. “And the genius behind it all.”
Genius? The only thing I had done was actually care about the plight of refugees. Alice and some staff she had hired had done basically all the work. “You are too kind,” I said, and took a seat.
My CEO, Walter Johnson, a bald, accountant-looking man, opened up a suitcase and passed out brochures. “We’re looking for approximately 120 million IM for the first resettlement site,” he said. “It depends where we build it, but to give access to jobs, it needs to be near a relatively wealthy area.”
“120 million?” Raphael asked. “I can contribute ten million right off the bat.”
“I will have to rearrange my finances, but I can also contribute a substantial sum,” Albert said. “It really depends where the site is located.”
“I don’t suppose we’ve been introduced,” the tall man said, and stretched out a hand. “Peter Reiner.”
Oh, yeah, the CEO of DaemonBurgers. He was probably the wealthiest guy in the room. “Michael Mason,” I said.
“I’m usually interested in rebuilding projects,” he said. “Which is why I’m wondering why we aren’t simply rebuilding areas that were destroyed.”
“We’ve considered that, but without use of eminent domain, we cannot guarantee that the present owners of devastated land will sell to us,” Johnson interjected. “It will be more cost-effective to buy empty land.”
“I’m concerned about environmental effects,” Chen said.
“Pah, we could fit the whole Empire into my subdominion,” Raphael said.
“Not without cutting down most of the trees inside!”
“I’m certain we can arrange more eco-friendly constructions,” Albert said.
“Yes, we’re currently doing a study on that, but my estimate is for another one hundred million IM,” Johnson said.
As the numbers grew bigger and bigger without any reaction from the other donors, I felt smaller and smaller. These people could have done this all without even feeling a pinch. The fact that I was doing it made all the difference.
I looked around. They looked sincere. Maybe they were. But what was ten million IM to buy influence with Lynn? Peter Reiner gave me a curious look. I gave one back.
Frederik met my eyes. I couldn’t read him, but I knew whatever he was here for…
“If I may interrupt,” he interrupted. “While it’s good and all to know where the displaced persons are going to, where are they coming from? After all, Mr. Mason’s family and friends are currently in a camp.”
I wasn’t going to fall for it. “As we’ve all seen in the brochure, we’re going to resettle refugees based on how long they’ve been in the camps. It’s the only fair way.”
“But why not jump ahead for your family?” Raphael asked with sincere curiosity.
“You could arrange it easily with a lottery,” Albert mused. “No one will know if we alter the results.”
“I’m not corrupt,” I said.
They all laughed.
All except Peter Reiner. “If we’re going to engage in nepotism, I’m out. I have better things to do than to scratch the backs of the wealthy.”
“We’re not going to do that,” I said. “We’re going to make this fair.”
“What’s fair?” Lynn asked, walking inside. Everyone but me got up and bowed. “At ease.”
“We’re asking about whether family ties are more important than strict fairness,” Frederik asked.
“I don’t want to give my family special treatment, or I’m no better than—” I cut myself off. What, a royal?
“Then what do you want, Mike?” Lynn asked.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I said, heat rising in me.
“Do you want to help your village? The largest number of people? The people who have suffered the most? The people who are the most in need?”
“Most in need, I guess.”
“Then you should pick based on the condition of the refugees.”
“I would caution against a means-tested program,” Peter Reiner said. “They have a habit of backfiring and keeping the poor in poverty.”
“It’ll be means-tested until they get the money,” Albert said. “Then they’re on their own, sink or swim. That’s how I would arrange it.”
“I agree,” I said. “We should just give them some help, not take over their lives.”
“Oh, I agree as well,” Frederik said.
What was he planning?
“Of course, we of the Scandinavian Dominion have very harsh winters, and without public assistance our poor would literally die. Our systems are more set up for mass housing programs, so I would recommend we consider building the new settlements in our lands.”
“No,” I said, my voice raising. “Hell, no.”
“Why not?” Frederik asked.
“What on Earth, Mike?” Lynn asked. “His proposal makes sense.”
“If we’re concerned about a certain incident,” Frederik said. “let it be known that I have forgiven you fully.”
“An incident?” Lynn asked.
“I’ll tell you later,” I said. “I’m… I’m sorry about it.”
Frederik waved it away. “Water under the bridge.”
“Look, it makes perfect sense to me,” Raphael said. “I know the Duke of San Francisco’s welfare policies keep failing.”
“I think that’s because it’s so nice down there,” Chen said dreamily. “If I was homeless, I would want to live there, too.”
“Then perhaps we should build the settlement in the colder regions,” Albert said. “It must be terrible to live in a tent in the winter.”
“I’ll have to look into the figures,” Johnson said. “We’d have to spent more on heating.”
No, no, no. This was all going wrong. I felt helpless in my own meeting. “Listen, why not build them in the North American dominions?” I asked. “They need jobs, too—”
“If they have jobs, they can live wherever they feel like,” Chen said.
“Yeah, we’re supposed to help, not make the gravy train for those who won’t get off their asses,” Raphael said.
“You know what they say,” Frederik said. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
I slammed the table with my fists, making it shudder so hard Raphael’s drink spilled. “Who the hell are you to lecture us?!” I screamed. “All of you, living fat and healthy while the people starve. You call us lazy, when you haven’t worked a goddamned day in your goddamned lives!“
They stared at me.
I stomped out into the hallway, the hallway of an office I owned, and slammed my fist against the wall, and again, and again. I was so angry I didn’t even feel the pain.
What I had done?
I had to go back and apologize—
No. Screw them. I would rather us not have money than apologize to those rich bastards—
“Mike,” Lynn said calmly from behind me.
“What is wrong with people?” I asked.
“Michael Mason. Turn and look at me.”
I did. She looked at me with an unyielding frown, and despite our relative sizes I thought I was looking up at her presence.
“Look into my eyes, Mike.”
I met her full-bore stare.
“If you want to change the world, you have to start by not alienating people. Even if you disagree with them. Even if you hate them.”
“But…” I trailed off at the full intensity of her eyes.
“You barely know any of my friends. Some were nobles before I ruled. Some were just rich. Some were just ordinary citizens at the right time and place. Peter Reiner grew up homeless. So before you shoot your mouth off again, and alienate people who are trying to do what you asked, THINK!”
“I’m… when… when we were growing up, we had no money,” I said. “My dad… spent it all. And we were poor to begin with.” And then we had lost most of our savings in the War, I didn’t add.
“So what are you going to do?” Lynn asked, unmoved. “Live like a poor man in your brain for the rest of your life?”
“Better be poor than rot rich in Hell!” I shouted.
“Oh, really?” Lynn raised an eyebrow. “So you know who’s going to Hell now?”
I shut up.
“Newsflash, Mike, the moment you became my Companion, you were set for life. You don’t have to keep the money. You can give it away. You can spend it on wild parties. You can hate yourself for being rich. But what you can’t do is judge other people who made different choices than you.”
I took a deep breath. “But they had the choice to do whatever they wanted with their money, and we didn’t.”
“So? Some nations had more money, people, and resources than others. I decided to make things fair by equalizing all of that. And look how that turned out.”
I blinked. That was the first time I had ever heard Lynn criticize one of her own decisions, especially one as major as the Redistricting.
“Do you get my point, Mike? This is how the world works. Either you accept that some people have more money and some people don’t, and yes, it’s often unfair, or you spend the rest of your life wallowing in jealousy and envy. No one in that room was responsible for you and your family being poor. If you want them to help of their own free will, you have to treat them with respect. Look at me, Mike.”
I sighed and met her eyes again. I thought about arguing more, but I knew I had lost. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to them.”
“All right.”
We walked back in together. The room had become icier since I left, and looks passed between the various individuals.
“I—I apologize for my remarks,” I said. “I was out of line.”
“Come,” Peter Reiner said. “We’ve all had outbursts from time to time. No reason to dwell on them.”
