Ghost of a Chance in Love, page 18
My heart broke, and I felt lost after Laini left to return to the States. Damn Tanner and Dekk for convincing me to go along with them regarding the pregnancy surprise.
“Laini, wait.”
“Jax, I have to go. My agent is calling me in.”
“Laini, can we meet before you have dinner with the kids?”
“Why, Jax? Look, I have to go. Bye.”
Before I can say another word, the line goes dead.
Damn it.
I want my wife. I miss her. It will break my heart if she decides she doesn’t want to go ahead with the pregnancy. But I want my wife back. I want my family back as one.
“Was that Laini?” Tanner asks from beside me.
I nod. “Yes. She is still refusing to see me. I wish I didn’t agree to go along with you and Dekk. I want my wife back.”
“Look, Jax. I agree. Our wives have kept us all at arm’s length for long enough. It is time for them to see reason.”
“No offense, Tanner. For an ex-Dom who is used to wrapping women around your little finger, I bet Missy is still refusing to speak with you.”
“Yes, well. My wife is her own person. A person I love. I must convince her to allow me back into her life.”
I snort at his words. Tanner, of all people, should have known better.
“Tanner, if Missy allows you to go anywhere near her again, I would expect her to demand you to get the snip.”
“Yeah. That thought had crossed my mind. I’m booked in next week for the procedure.” Oh, boy. I bet Tanner has not thought this through. “Never again. I want my wife to be unexpectedly pregnant.”
“Um, Tanner. Have you mentioned any of this to your wife?”
He shakes his head. “Why?”
“Oh, Tanner. This is serious. For your own marriage, you better speak with your wife first.”
“What... You really think so?”
“Yes. Don’t be a fool and get the snip without speaking with your wife first. And make sure you choose your words carefully when you talk with Missy. Or you might find yourself kept on the outer for a long time.”
He nods and shakes my hand. “Thanks for the advice, Jax.”
Chapter Fifty-Six
Laini
What am I going to do regarding my husband?
I miss him.
But he hurt me.
My moods, anger, and feelings have exploded. I never act or feel this way. What is wrong with me?
“Laini, are you listening to me?”
Huh. What?
I glance toward the beautiful brunette opposite me and realize I am in the middle of a meeting with my agent. “Sorry, Marge. I was deep in thought.”
“It looks like you are having man troubles. Am I right?”
I nod. “Yes. My husband hurt me.”
“He what? Do I need to hurt him?” She slides her chair back, ready to hunt my husband down. The woman is only five foot four.
I throw my head back and laugh. “No. No, Marge. Jax stuffed up. Instead of discussing a delicate matter with me, he agreed to go along with two other men. Big mistake. Three wives are no longer speaking with their husbands.”
“I wouldn’t like to be in their shoes, then.”
“No. You wouldn’t.”
“As I was saying before. I love your manuscripts. There are a few changes to be made. Other than that. I think you have another best seller on your hands. Well done. I cannot wait to see the completed books.”
Relief fills me. “Thanks, Marge. I’m pleased to hear that. When do you require the updated manuscripts?”
“I can allow a month, but no longer. Do you think they will both be complete by then?”
I shrug. “Time will tell.”
Marge knows not to push me. She knows I am not in the writing industry for the money. I’ve said to her once before I wouldn’t mind dipping my toes into the indie publishing area. No deadlines. I can go by my own time frame.
I stand and shake Marge’s outstretched hand.
“Thanks for seeing me, Marge.”
“Always. Don’t be a stranger. Keep in touch.”
With that, I turn and walk out.
Time to phone my husband. We have a lot to discuss. But, with mixed emotions and thoughts, I think I have made him wait long enough.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Jaxton
With Emma’s assistance, we prepare Jack for the kids Italian dinner with their mothers. Us husbands are not invited. Only to prove we are still on our wives’ shit list.
I don’t know how much more I can take from being separated from Laini. Each day breaks my heart a little bit more without being with her. Another day I missed out on our pregnancy.
Just as Emma picks up her baby brother, my cell rings. We both glance towards the screen. Emma smiles when she notices her mother’s picture.
“I’ll leave you to speak with Momma in peace while I feed Jack his bottle.”
I nod and smile. “Thanks, Emma. Wish me luck.”
She shakes her head and walks out of the bathroom. “You’re on your own, Dad.” And laughs at my predicament.
As quickly as I can, I pick up and swipe the screen of my cell.
“Laini. Thank you for calling back.”
“Jax, we need to talk.”
Oh, no. Whenever a woman says that it is not a good sign.
“Laini, is everything okay?”
“As I said, Jax. It is time we spoke. Let Emma know. I’ll be over soon.”
“You’re coming over here?”
“Yes, Jax. Do you have a problem with that?”
Shaking my head, I reply, “No. No. I’ll let Em know. She’s feeding Jack his bottle. ...Before you say anything. Emma saw your name on my cell and wanted to give us some privacy.”
“You don’t have to explain, Jax.”
“I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“I’ll see you all soon.”
Before I can say goodbye, Laini has already ended the call.
As I said. That is not a good sign.
I walk from the bathroom and straight to Emma and Jack.
Emma smiles as soon as she sees me. “How did the call go?”
“Em, your mother is on her way here. She wants to speak with me.”
Her smile turns into a frown. “Dad, what are you not saying?”
“That is just it, Emma. I don’t know.”
A knock sounds on the door.
My pulse races to the sound, hoping Laini is here.
I reach for the handle and open the door.
There, standing in all her glory is my beautiful wife. My fingers twitch. All I want to do is reach forward, grab the annoying woman, and wrap my arms around her.
“Come in, Laini.”
“Momma, come in,” our daughter says from behind me.
Laini steps into our room and smiles at Emma, and reaches for Jack.
“Here. Let me hold Jack.”
“Momma, Jacky is ready for bed. If you allow me, I’ll place him down so you can speak with Daddy.”
“No, rush, Emma. I would like to hold your brother, and I’ll lay him down when I’m ready.” Emma frowns and passes Jack to her mother. “You might as well continue getting ready, Emma. Aunt Essy will be here in twenty minutes to pick you up.”
“What do you mean?” Emma shakes her head. “What are you doing, Momma? Why are you acting this way?” Yes, I would like to know as well. What is going through my wife’s head?
“Emma, tonight you will stay with your aunt and cousins. Your father and I have a lot to discuss and work out.”
“What is there to work out? We’re a family. We belong together. We need to go home together,” she demands.
“Emma, it is not that easy. Your father broke my trust.”
Our daughter shakes her head. “So, he can apologize and say sorry. Whatever he did, he will not repeat it.” Emma looks at me with pleading eyes. “Will you, Daddy? You will not break Momma’s trust again, will you?”
“Emma. Go and get ready and pack your toothbrush.”
“What about Jacky?”
“Jack will remain here with your father and me.”
Emma shakes her head and storms off to the room she has been sharing with Jack.
The baby continues to sleep against my wife’s shoulder. I cannot believe I am jealous of my son. The lucky kid, at least one of us, can enjoy being in her arms.
“Come. Sit down, Laini. Would you like a drink? Tea, water... maybe coffee?”
“Water will be fine, thanks,” she replies and gulps. But, if I am not mistaken, just mentioning the word coffee has her turning a little green. Interesting!
I grab two bottles of water from the minibar. I unscrew the cap and pass the bottle to her.
“Thank you,” Laini says with a smile and takes a small sip.
“How have you been?” I ask. “Are you well?” She raises her brow at me in response.
“Jax, you hurt me. You broke my trust. You lied.”
Huh? Now, wait a minute. I never lied to her.
“I have not lied to you, Laini.”
“Haven’t you?” She wiggles to the edge of her seat and stands. “Once Emma has left, we will continue this conversation.” She then places her lips against Jack’s head and turns her back to me.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Laini
What am I doing?
The whole situation has gotten out of hand.
The last thing I wanted to do was make Jax or my daughter angry. Emma left five minutes ago with Essy, and here I am, still holding onto my son as a lifeline. Time to speak with Jax.
I carefully place Jack in his crib, covering him with his little blanket. Then, I proceed back to the main living area and reach for my bottle of water, which I left on the floor beside my seat.
“Laini, now that our daughter has left for the evening, you are going to explain to me what you meant by me lying to you.”
Now for the uncomfortable part.
“Jax, in all the years I have known you, never once had you mentioned your family was in the mafia.”
I observe his face, and sure enough, he flinches.
“Laini, please understand. Growing up, my parents had hidden their mafia family and connections from me. It was not until I was forced into marrying my ex-wife that the truth was revealed. By then, I was employed by the FBI, and my true identity was used against me.”
“Jax, you could have said something to me.”
“How, Laini? If the FBI had known the truth... back then.”
“Don’t you understand, Jax? They had known. The FBI and CIA had always known. They kept a close eye on you to see if you would betray them.”
“But, I never did. I had been faithful to the government. I worked my butt off for my country.”
“Yes, you had. That is another reason my father never shot you.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying my father had known about you. He had known my mother’s connections to the Apolo Syndicate. He was not the only one—so had several other government officials.”
“Why are we discussing this now?”
“Why? Because, Jax, I want no secrets between us.”
“Laini, why do I feel there is something you haven’t mentioned?”
“Because I have been a secret government agent working alongside Essy when I was required.”
“You?” he says in disbelief. My nostrils flare. How dare he think so low of me.
“Yes. Me.” So, my husband does not believe in my ability to be an agent. So much faith—not. “And if I choose to, I can work alongside the FBI and CIA.” His facial features change when he realizes I am serious. “Only I work on my terms.”
He frowns as if he thought of something. “I never understood why you didn’t join the program as Essy had.”
“Because I wanted to do something else with my life.” I preferred fiction to non-fiction in my life. The reason I became a writer. “I thought having three other family members as government agents were enough.”
“But didn’t you just say you became one, anyway?”
“With my skills and talent—I was useful. You should have known my test scores were nearly a match for Essy’s.”
“I still don’t understand?”
“And Jax. You never will. And that is all I can say.”
“Okay, with being honest—I wanted you to know—I had no idea you could conceive again so soon after we had baby Jack. I stupidly went along with Tanner and Dekk, as they thought they knew the right way to handle the suspicion of you three being pregnant at the same time.”
“As you know, that was the stupidest thing you could have ever done.”
“Yes. I know that now.” He sits down beside me. “Laini, it is destroying me to be away from you. Not able to touch you, hold you. The kids miss you. I miss you.”
“Jax, why would me being away be any different from any other time when I’m on business, or you, for that matter?”
Jax stands and paces towards the window, shaking his head. “Are you serious right now?” he says over his shoulder. “It is different because you made it different, Laini.”
I stand and move directly behind Jax.
I’m a writer for a living, and yet the right words are not leaving my mouth.
My focus is on the floor-to-ceiling window, watching Jax’s reflection. I can see he is looking outside but not focusing on anything.
He shakes his head. “Laini, we agree to disagree.” He turns, meeting my eyes. “You are my love, my soul mate.” He turns to the window again. “But, if we cannot get past this, I don’t know if we can continue.”
Whoa. Well, color me rainbow colors and tie my hair in ribbons. I didn’t see that one coming.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Jaxton
Wow. I can’t believe I just said that. But, on the other hand. I cannot take it anymore.
All I want is my wife, and all she seems to do is push me further away.
Damn Tanner and Dekk. If only I didn’t listen to them. I wonder if they are speaking with their wives yet?
“Jax, please listen to me. I love you. The last thing I want is to end our marriage. We have been through so much. We cannot allow it to end like this.”
Huh?
“Why are you making things difficult? You said I lied to you. You keep repeating I broke your trust. How many times do I have to apologize for going along with Tanner and Dekk? I just want my wife and family back together.”
I watch Laini’s eyes mist up and her lower lip tremble. Oh, no. Now I’ve made my wife cry.
Maybe what Tanner and Dekk said to me yesterday is true. A pregnant woman’s hormones are confusing and deadly.
I wrap my arms around her, and she hiccups and then snuggles into my chest. I breathe her in and close my eyes. She feels like heaven within my arms, and savor the moment.
“Jax, I don’t know what is wrong with me.” Huh? My eyelids snap open. “Why am I so mean? This is not me.”
My arms tighten around her. “Maybe your pregnancy hormones are to blame?” I whisper.
Laini pauses and lifts her tear-streaked face. “Do you think so?”
“Maybe? You are one of the nicest, most thoughtful, and loving people I know.”
“Oh, Jax. I hope you are right. I don’t want to be the bad guy. I never want to act like this. I love you, Emma and Jack.”
That is it. It’s time to take advantage of an empty suite before our little guy, Jack, wakes. I need to hold my wife and show her what she means to me. How much I love her.
As carefully as possible, I lift her in my arms and carry her to my room, gently placing her on the bed. I join her and wrap my arms around her holding her tight.
My arm is stiff and numb. Why is it failing to move? A familiar scent fills my nostrils, and a smile forms.
My wife.
I open my eyes and glance down my front. There, in all her sleeping beauty plaster against me, is Laini. Wondering what the time is, I turn my head the other way to glance at the bedside clock.
It is late. Much later than I would have imagined with a baby sleeping in the next room.
Strange. It is quiet. Too quiet.
As carefully as I can, I manage to slide my arm out from under Laini and stand without waking her. Then, once my brain kicks in, I shuffle to the next room and check on my son.
In the dim light, I can just make out my little man’s gorgeous eyes staring right back at me. I’m amazed he is so quiet. Usually, he is loud and demands his bottle ASAP.
“Heya, little man. Are you hungry?” I reach down and pick him up, placing him against my chest. “First things first. Fresh diaper, then bottle. How does that sound?”
Jacky squeals his baby gurgles and pats my chest. Okay. I get it I must move faster. It does not take us long to replace his diaper and change it into a clean onesie and walk back to the kitchenette to heat his bottle.
Sitting down on the comfortable lounge with my back resting against the cushions, Jack gulps his bottle and snuggles into my chest as I gently rub his back.
“Come on, little man. I want to go back to bed,” I mumble.
My little boy’s response is rubbing his face against me while his little hand taps against my chest. Yep. My boy is tired. The little bugger is fighting the urge to go back to sleep.
Chapter Sixty
Laini
My mind fills with annoying thoughts.
What in the world is wrong with me?
My attitude. Behavior. These stupid tears.
Why am I sprouting such hurtful words?
My nose presses into the soft pillow under my head. The delicious scent of my husband fills my nostrils.
Hang on a minute... why is my head against a pillow smelling of my husband? The last I remember, Jax and I were speaking in his hotel suite. Come to think of it, we were arguing to the point I could not believe what I was saying. First, pushing my daughter away, then my husband. Then, the way I spoke to my daughter…I was so harsh. I’m never snappy with her.
