Long May She Reign, page 30
She spent her days split between tending to her mother, tending to her animals, and every night, she read her father a book from the palace library. Even after he fell asleep, she would read another chapter just to be sure. But once she was sure everyone had gone to bed, Ophelia would stay up for hours. Not crying, but simply sitting in the middle of her bed. She was numb.
The queen was holding on by a thread. Barely eating her own meals as she tried to juggle her children, her duties as queen, and the fact that her husband was dying. She hated the resentment she felt towards everyone in her life. It felt like she was treading water in the middle of an endless ocean. And the anger with the world came out in full force when she found her daughter and Ishani in the princess’ study. Ishani was on the desk as she kissed the princess. But the moment Alexandrianna came through the door, the women jumped about like they had been burned.
Astrid asked Ishani to give her and her mother the room. Ishani gave Astrid’s hand a small squeeze, slid off the desk, and gave the queen a quick curtsy before speeding out of the room.
Alexandrianna was silent for nearly a minute. But in that time, she paced back and forth, running a hand over the bottom side of her jaw.
“How long has this been going on?”
Astrid licked her lips as she swallowed, “since mid-September.”
The queen let out a surprised gasp as she stopped pacing to face her daughter.
“And who knows about this?!”
“Cass. And Helena. Sebastián, and I’m pretty sure that Ophelia has put two and two together. Luis and Pierre-”
Alexandrianna held up a trembling hand that stopped Astrid’s words in her throat.
“Does your father know,” Astrid kept her eyes downcast as she nodded. Alexandrianna moved to collapse in one of the chairs in front of the desk before she laid into her daughter.
“You are going to be the queen of this country, Astrid Devereux! This isn’t just about some secret little affair that got out of hand-”
“I love her!” Astrid yelled and Alexandrianna couldn’t help but flinch back. Her daughter had never taken that tone with her.
“If that is true,” Alexandria lowered her voice to barely above a whisper, “you also know that they will eat her alive. She has no real concept of what this life truly is. And if you truly love her as you have said, you will do anything to protect her. You must be willing to also let her go should it be called for.”
Astrid stayed silent as the weight of her mother’s words slowly sunk below her skin and into her bones.
“You have a duty to fulfill, Astrid,” Alexandria spoke after a pregnant pause.
“I am more than aware of that, Your Majesty,” Astrid chuckled dryly.
“So then why do you insist on doing everything you can to distract from it?”
“I… I’m not. I am being a ruler that our people, my people, deserve. Why am I not allowed to also be with the woman I love?”
Alexandrianna moved to the other side of the desk and placed a hand on her daughter’s cheek as she looked down at her.
“One thing being queen will teach you is sacrifice.”
“Like I haven’t already given up more than most,” Astrid pulled away from her mother’s cold touch. But just as she was about to return to the papers in front of her, her mother said something that stopped her.
“This is not a fairy tale, Astrid. The Queen doesn’t get a happy ending.”
“But I’ve already found mine.”
Alexandrianna felt her heart clench at the sincerity in her child’s voice.
“You have a duty to this country, Astrid.”
“I have a duty to myself!”
Alexandrianna had enough of going around in circles and stormed over to the door of the study but decided to have the last word.
“You can have many things, Astrid. But sooner or later you will have a choice to make. Your duty. Or you heart.”
* * *
Ishani had practically sprinted to Astrid’s bedroom and removed all of the clothing she had left there before going to her own room.
They had been caught. The queen caught them! By Astrid’s mother! There was no way that Ishani would be allowed to stay in the palace after making out with the crown princess on her desk.
It wasn’t a secret that Ishani and Astrid were together. If someone asked, they were honest. But they hadn’t screamed it from the rooftops. But the longer they spent together, the harder it was to be apart. And Ishani knew that sooner or later, Astrid would be queen and that she would have to achieve certain… expectations.
As Ishani was riffling through the pile of clothing on her bed, deciding what needed to be hung up or folded, she glanced over to her backpack. The bag she had brought to Varune months ago, and the bag she would take if she left. But there was a feeling of… indecision as she remembered the conversation she and Astrid had had.
“What do I do? What do we do?” Ishani’s words rang like an echo in Astrid’s mind causing the princess to stare into her dark eyes.
We…
“If you want to leave,” the words caused a bile to rise in Astrid’s throat, but she pushed through, “I will make all of the necessary arrangements. But you would have to sign a non-disclosure agreement that covers the entirety of our rela- friendship. There would be constant monitoring, but they would handle it very discreetly. You can go back to your life like I never existed.”
“And if I choose to stay?”
“I did not imagine you as a woman who gave easily.”
Ishani was freed from her thoughts as her head snapped to the voice.
“It isn’t giving up,” she denied.
“Then what is this,” he motioned to the half-packed suitcases with colorful clothes spilling out.
“This is… a woman who is trying to find where she stands.”
“How disappointing, " Henrick mussed as he leaned more of his weight onto his cane.
“Excuse me?!” Ishani snapped, blood rushing her cheeks, making the brown skin turn a shade darker.
“Miss Singh,” Henrick’s voice called from the door.
“Your Majesty,” Ishani retorted, causing an amused smile to spread on the king’s dry lips.
“Would you humor me?” Ishani shrugged, still feeling the discomfort of being insulted.
“Allow me to tell you a story,” Henrick slowly stepped into the room and lowered himself onto one of the armchairs before he began his tale.
“Once upon a time, there was a prince. And he was… kind and compassionate but also cold. You see, at a very young age he lost most of his family in a horrible accident. He was engaged to a beautiful girl who had grown up with him. She was also kind and compassionate but was also a bit of a rebel child. She loved playing tricks and sneaking out of her bedroom window. They were so young, twenty and eighteen, respectively. But they married anyway. They fought like cats and dogs. It was more likely to see them in an argument than actually talk to one another. But after a while, the arguments grew… playful.”
Ishani listened with a soft smile as the King told the story. His story.
“The prince soon became king, and his wife became queen. But he still held so much fear in his heart. He was afraid that if he fell in love with her, that she would leave him as well. But soon he realized there is no greater force that love.”
Ishani sat down on the bench in front of the bed, still clutching a top in her hands as she looked at the king.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“My children are the single most important thing in my life. Helena tries so hard to make all of us happy and keep us together. Sebastián refuses to get close to anyone out of fear. Ophelia…has had to grow up far sooner than she should have, and her brain does not work the same way as others so I live in constant anxiety that someone will take advantage of her. Astrid… she tries so hard to please everyone that she forgets herself.”
Henrick gave her a small, paternal smile, “I have but one request.”
Ishani nodded slowly as her anxiety built up in her stomach, turning it in knots.
“Should you choose to continue to pursue a relationship with my daughter, I beg of you… do not break her heart. Because I am not sure she could survive another one.”
“My daughter is the Crown Princess. She will be crowned Queen of this country contrary to her past opinions and contrary to the countless efforts of parliament. The last thing she needs, much less deserves, is someone who will run at the first sign of difficulty.”
“I know I’m not royal or titled or rich,” Ishani knew that she should be careful how she spoke, but at that moment, she wasn’t speaking to a king, but a father, “but I’m smart. And talented and honestly, a great catch. And I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I love your daughter. I have for a lot longer than anyone thinks.”
“Then do not abandon her at the first sign of trouble or difficulty. Even if it is due to my wife,” the king gave her a small wink, turned, and walked out of the door.
Ishani was once again left alone in the room she had not slept in in over a month and couldn’t help but want a hug from her own father. As she folded clothes, her choice had already been made.
Astrid was worth fighting for.
13: Inherited Glory
Astrid was awoken by frantic voices and sudden light. She jolted up, adrenaline coursing through her veins and spurring her into action.
“…Majesty- asking for you- not long-”
The princess was only able to catch every few words as she tried to find her robe. Securing the tie around her waist, Astrid decided to forgo wearing shoes and simply ran out of the room with Pierre and Luis close on her heels.
Astrid quickly registered that every guard on the royal payroll was in the palace. Guarding every entrance and hallway. They watched as their princess ran by them franticly to see their king.
She reached the King and Queen’s bedroom in record time and pushed through the guards to reach the door.
“Papá!” Astrid ran into the room and slid next to her father.
“Sissi,” tears fell down her cheeks at the nickname her father started.
“Papá,” she took his freezing right hand between her own, “estoy aquí. I’m not going anywhere.”
“My darling girl,” Henrick could barely lift his head, but he fought with all his strength, “mi niña hermosa.”
Alexandrianna was sitting directly next to him on her side of the bed, the side furthest from the door. Just like the day they began sharing a room and Henrick insisted.
“Whoever comes in will have to go through me to get to you.”
Astrid saw her mother’s bloodshot eyes, but even through her tears she was smiling for him.
“I need- I need you to,” every word took all of the strength the king had left, Alexandrianna struggle to fight more tears as she felt his grip get weaker, “you cannot pretend.”
Astrid nodded, not fully understanding what he was asking her to do.
“I want you… to mourn me. I want- you to cry. Scream. Feel,” Henrick pulled his hand from Astrid’s grip and placed it on her cheek, “you must promise me this.”
Astrid’s tears fell onto her father’s hand as she nodded vigorously. She would promise him anything if it meant he could rest.
“I- I approve. Of Ishani,” more tears, if that was possible.
“She makes me happy, papa,” Astrid’s vision blurred with unshed tears as she took in her father’s frail body, “I love her. Like you love mama.”
Henrick looked over at Alexandrianna with a smile one only saw in movies or read about in story books. Unwavering, undeniable love. He could barely nod his head, so he instead blinked at his wife. The mother of his children.
The love of his life.
Alexandrianna sniffled and wiped her free hand under her nose before she reached under her pillow. And produced a small, round box skillfully carved from wood.
The queen pressed a small kiss to the top of the box before passing it to Henrick who did the same and then passed it to Astrid. With delicate hands, Astrid took the box and opened it. A quiet gasp reached the ears of her parents as their daughter realized what she was holding.
The family engagement ring. An eight-petaled pearl flower with an emerald center stone and emerald stones set as leaves in the gold band.
“Why-” Astrid looked up at her parents who were already looking at her.
“Oh, my darling,” the mother and daughter locked eyes for the first time in days, “I am so sorry.”
“For what?” So much had happened that Astrid was genuinely unable to determine what her mother was apologizing for.
“As your queen, I was only thinking about how other people would see this country if it had an openly gay ruler, not to mention you being a woman. When-,” Alexandria’s eyes welled with tears.
“I should have been thinking as your mother. I see how happy you are when you are with her and… you have my blessing. And you father’s.”
Astrid’s eyes went between her mother and father several times. But when she realized they were both sincere, she moved to hug them both.
Henrick held his daughter’s head closer to his aching chest, the weight of both her head and Alexandrianna’s made it hard to breath, but he didn’t care. Alexandrianna’s hand reached over and began running over her daughter’s hair in soothing motions.
A knock on the door didn’t even separate the royals, but a small weight on the end of the bed did cause them to look up.
Ophelia.
The youngest Devereux climbed up the bed and in between her mother and father. Alexandrianna’s vision was slightly blocked by her daughter’s red curls, but the moment she closed her eyes, she was serene.
Two more weights jostled the bed a few minutes later.
Astrid felt an arm go around her waist and a small kiss get pressed to the side of her head. The faint smell of earth and jasmine filled her nose, and she moved her free hand to hold Helena’s calloused hand. Sebastián laid behind their mother and rested his head on her shoulder.
For the first time in weeks, no Devereux cried. There were no silent tears or pained hearts. In that moment, a family that had been forced apart by different gravitational pulls returned to the same universe.
And in that moment, King Henrick Devereux was able to finally rest.
* * *
Nothing in this world lasts forever and nothing is supposed to. There is a balance that has to be kept and sooner or later… the price must be paid.
Astrid bit the inside of her cheek to prevent from releasing the onslaught of her tears, although a few slipped free. Convincing herself that she had to stay strong for her mother, her sisters and brother.
For her people.
“The royal family can now be seen entering the church where the memorial service before the burial of his Majesty, Henrick Devereux will take place. We can see that Her Royal Highness, Crown Princess Astrid is leading the procession-”
All the noise faded into a quiet hum as Astrid straightened her back and stood tall at the front of the funeral procession that was carrying her father’s coffin.
Astrid walked down the main aisle of the church where she would be crowned queen in one month’s time. She thought she had more time. But fate has a funny way of screwing you over.
The service was beautiful; at least Astrid assumed it was. She couldn’t remember anything other than her mother and sister’s sobbing. Sebastián had tried to be strong as well but stopped after a few traitorous tears fell down his cheeks.
Astrid and Ishani had been in the tower, simply laying with one another when they were forced away from each other at the sound of a bell. The bell that was only rung when it was to announce the death or birth of a monarch.
“No,” Astrid whispered before taking off in a sprint, Ishani following closely behind her.
She didn’t care about the fact that she looked like a mad woman running through the glorious palace halls. Her feet carried her to the stairs and up into the second-floor hallway. She showed no signs of stopping until she was grabbed back by a familiar pair of arms around her waist.
“Let go of me, Jakob! Let me go! I order you to release me!”
Ishani was also struggling against Luis, although it was because of her trying to get to Astrid.
“He would not want you to see him like this and you know it,” Jakob continued to hold his princess close as she turned to sob into his chest.
Her body felt so weak until she heard the wails form behind the doors of her parents’ bedroom that now belonged to her mother. With an unknown strength, she broke away from her uncle and ran to the doors. Throwing them open, she slowly approached her mother, who was lying across her father’s body. Her father’s dead body.
Astrid couldn’t handle seeing her mother so broken, so she silently turned, shut the doors, and went towards her own bedroom expressionless. But once she was there, she was able to release the flood gates that had been subdued.
She threw anything she could get her hands on, burning tears fell down her cheek before she released a broken scream and fell into a heap on the floor. Her hands covered her face before moving to clutch her hair.
She didn’t know what to do with herself.
Her father was gone. Gone forever. Dead.
She never got to say goodbye.
It happened again.
14: Given and Received
The palace was in the middle of the mourning period. Meaning all official duties were suspended and or handled directly by Parliament. But the moment it was over, Astrid would have to present herself to the world as, not only as the eldest child of the Devereux royal family, but as the heir to the throne and future Queen of Varune.
Ishani stood at the door, watching Astrid crumble up pieces of paper and throw them onto the floor in frustration.
