Call It Home, page 23
“It was all going well for us. We no longer had to worry about affording food or a place to live. We’d learn anything we could from anyone who was willing to share their trade. Trey can do just about any job on a construction site,” I said with pride. “He’d make an excellent supervisor, as he’s able to catch small things before they become a problem or get flagged by an inspector. He’s also a talented carpenter, but he was even thinking about going to school to get licensed as an electrician or a plumber.”
“But something happened,” she interrupted.
I closed my eyes, still seeing the scene as if it were a movie playing on the back of my eyelids.
“We were setting money aside to start our own business. We didn’t know exactly what it would be, but something like custom wood furniture or custom cabinets. In the meantime, we bided our time until we found the right opportunity. Life was finally looking up for the Caldwell boys. I even started dating a woman who seemed so far out of my league. But she was beautiful and into me, and I was young, and it felt good, so…”
I paused, hating the next part. But she needed to know about my stupidity that put me—us—in this current situation.
“Trey and I were at a bar one night. We’d finally reached a comfortable enough place where we could treat ourselves once in a while and go out with the guys. We were having a good time, nothing out of the ordinary, until our boss walked in, looking for me. He accused me of sleeping with his wife, and before I could ask what the hell he was talking about, he punched me. I didn’t have a clue what the fuck was going on. Then in walks the woman I was seeing. It didn’t take a rock scientist to know she wasn’t there by accident. She didn’t even look sorry. In fact, I think she liked the idea of two men fighting over her.”
“Bitch,” she muttered.
“The boss—Duane was his name—kept coming at me. I didn’t want to fight, but you take enough shit in life, and you learn to either lie down in it or come up fighting. I got in a couple of punches before Trey pulled me back. He told me to walk away and tried to pull me outside. But Duane followed, and when he tried to take another swing at me, Trey stepped in. He pushed me behind him and took one swing. Our boss went down like a sack of bricks. At first, when he didn’t get up, we just thought Trey had knocked him out cold.”
“Oh, my god.”
“Then we saw blood pool under his head. Turned out, he’d struck his head as he went down and ended up with a skull fracture and brain damage. He was in a coma. Trey was arrested for assault, but when Duane died a few days later, they elevated the charges to involuntary manslaughter. He was sentenced to seven years, which was better than the ten they could have sentenced him with.”
“Shit. Mac, that’s awful. But wasn’t it self-defense?”
I snorted. “Apparently not when the guy wasn’t swinging directly at him. All they did was take one look at Trey’s size, and he was doomed. He was easily eight inches taller and had a good fifty or more pounds on our boss.” I looked across the car at her. “Trey is a good guy,” I said defensively. “If he hadn’t been trying to defend me, he wouldn’t be there now. After everything he did to look out for me when we were growing up, that happened. All thanks to me. I swear, I didn’t know she was married. But I should have guessed there was something up about her. It was always too good to be true.”
“He sounds like an incredible brother.” Her words were soft, full of sympathy and sadness. “I’m sorry for how it turned out, but Mac, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know about that bitch. And both of you tried to do the right thing and diffuse the situation.”
“Maybe, but the result is still the same.”
“He’s why you don’t spend much for yourself. You’ve been saving up for the land to start over.”
“When he gets out, he’ll be on parole. He still won’t be free to move around. And even if he was, who’s going to hire an ex-convict?”
“So you think it’s your turn to sacrifice for him.” It wasn’t a question. She understood.
“Well. Thank you for explaining and helping me to understand.”
That was it? After all I told her, just a thank-you, as if I’d been telling her a bedtime story?
“I think you should go back inside now,” she finally said, after staring out the front window.
“I don’t want to,” I answered, knowing if I did, it was over.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have lied to me all this time. And nothing you’ve said changes that or the fact that you’re going to leave anyway.”
“I didn’t lie,” I said, my voice weak and pitiful, even to my own ears.
She looked at me sadly. “Oh, but you have. If not directly to me, then at least to yourself. Please. Please, don’t make me beg.”
I stared at her, my beautiful girl, normally so full of life and confidence. Now she looked damaged. Broken. And I was responsible.
First Trey, now her.
The least I could do was honor her wishes. I opened the door and swung it open, but before I got out, I had to say the words at least once, even if it wasn’t fair, but I had to at least say them out loud. “I love you, Cam.”
I saw her wince, and it felt like a knife to my heart. She didn’t return the words, and that was like the knife twisting.
I thought it had been hell when Trey was taken away. But it was nothing compared to watching Cam drive away.
Chapter 33
Cam
I drove down the dark road, away from Mac’s house. I was numb, still processing everything he’d just told me. I was feeling so many things. I honestly didn’t know which I should feel first.
I hit the intersection close to downtown. If I turned right, I’d head toward my house. It had been my sanctuary for the past several years, ever since I’d bought it and updated it. But now, if I thought it felt large before, it was only going to echo the loneliness I was feeling.
I turned left, and, as if on autopilot, the car turned into the driveway that led behind The Dogtrot, toward Em and Zach’s house. I would have gone to Bristol’s house, but she and Reid hadn’t returned from their long honeymoon yet. I worried it might be too late, but lights still blazed from the living room window. I thought I heard a peal of laughter.
Maybe this was a mistake. Sure, they’d been through their share of tough times, but they were so happy now. They didn’t need to deal with my mess. I should be able to handle it.
The porch lights turned on. Shit. It was too late. Zach stood in the doorway, his hand shading his face as he tried to see past the headlights of my car. Instinctively, I turned the car off and killed the lights.
Zach approached the car. “Cam? What are you doing here? Everything all right?” he asked through my open window.
“I…I don’t know.” I tried to choke back the tears, but they still leaked down my face.
He opened the door. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you inside.” He took my arm, handling me like a wounded animal, which I guess is how I was behaving, if a broken heart counted as wounded. It felt more like a death sentence at the moment.
With his arm around me, he guided me up the front steps. As soon as we stepped inside, he yelled for his wife. “Em? I need you.”
I heard footsteps pad our way. “Shh. I just got Olivia to sleep. What’s wrong?” she asked as she came around a corner. “Oh, shit.”
As soon as I saw her concerned face, the dam broke.
“Aw, crap,” Zach whispered as he pulled me into his arms and pressed a kiss to my head. Then he quickly passed me to his wife. “I’ll get the wine,” I heard him say.
“Shh. We’ve got you.” Em drew me into her arms and pressed my head into her shoulder. “Zach,” she yelled over her shoulder, “get out the chocolate ice cream, too.”
“It’s more like a three-alarm,” I said, sniffling.
“Oh, honey. Come on. Let’s go into the kitchen.” She kept her arm around me as we walked into her beautiful kitchen. It was her favorite room in the house. I’d helped design it, too, but at least she used hers. Zach was opening a bottle of wine. “We need the cookies, too, please,” she whispered.
“Shit,” he whispered. “Should I go beat the shit out of him now or later?”
I shook my head. “Nobody should hit anyone. That’s what started it all in the first place.”
“Mac hit someone?” Em asked as she poured the wine Zach had put on the table.
I shook my head, then nodded. “It was five years ago. I got in the way of a five-year plan.” I sniffled and took several swallows of the glass she set in front of me, then grabbed for one of the chocolate chip cookies from the plate Zach had hurriedly put together.
“I’m going upstairs to let you two talk,” he told Em. “Call me if you need anything.” He knelt beside my chair and pressed a couple of tissues into my hand. “Say the word and I’ll drop him with a horse tranquilizer and bury him in the wet foundation of a building.”
My lashes stuck to my face as I blinked at him. “I thought he was your friend?”
“But you’re family.”
He looked confused when his words made me cry even harder.
“I’m so confused,” Zach whispered to his wife. “Isn’t that what I was supposed to say?”
She squeezed his hand that rested on her shoulder. “Just go on upstairs. I’ve got this.”
“Zach?” I called and waited for him to turn around. “Thank you. Maybe you could just keep that tranquilizer nearby but put it on hold for now.”
He hesitated. “You know Em and I had to overcome a lot of struggles and obstacles. Maybe things will work out for you two yet.”
I sniffled and shook my head. “I doubt it, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
Em watched me carefully until he was gone. “All right, girl. Spill it. Tell me everything.”
Over two more glasses of wine and a large bowl of chocolate ice cream that I scooped and ate with cookies instead of a spoon, I told her everything.
“So, he’s moving, and that’s that.” I shoveled another ice cream-ladened cookie piece into my mouth.
“But not right away,” she clarified.
I shrugged and ate another bite. “It doesn’t matter when.” I slurped up the last of the ice cream that had melted in my bowl. “Hey!” I protested when Em pulled the bowl away from me.
“You’re going to put yourself into a sugar coma if you keep that up,” she replied, then rolled her eyes when I refilled my wine glass instead.
I defiantly ate another cookie, then took a long sip from my glass, earning a glare when I hiccupped.
“Look, he wasn’t upfront with you. That was definitely wrong.”
“Yup.” I burped. “S’cuse me.”
“But he definitely has genuine feelings for you. Sounds like he’s torn between his loyalty to his brother and his love for you.”
“If he really loved me,” I said, swaying slightly as I reached again for my glass, “it wouldn’t be so hard of a choice.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Really? He should turn his back on the man who sacrificed everything for him?”
“No. Of course not.” I slumped in my chair.
“He knows you have a support system in place. His brother has no one. What do you want him to do?”
I glared at her over the rim of my glass. “Don’t make me feel sorry for him. He could find a job for his brother and still stay here.”
Her lips flattened. “As someone who’s been in this situation before, it’s not always that easy. Sounds like, at least for now, he needs to be in Virginia for his brother. Of course, you could always move with him.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “So, by applying your logic, that means you don’t love him enough.”
“No, that’s not…” I scowled at her. “I see what you’re doing. You’re saying I’m expecting him to make sacrifices, but I’m not willing to do it myself.”
“If the shoe fits…”
“Ugh.” I sighed and cradled my head in my hands. “Why does love always have to be so complicated? Why can’t it just be boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl get married and live happily ever after?”
Her lips twitched. “It happens that way for some people. Maybe they’re lucky. Or maybe they don’t know what it is to fight for love and end up having problems down the road. But we’re not talking about another couple. The question is, what are you going to do?”
“What do you think I should do? I’m still mad at him. He kept something major from me.”
She nodded. “There is that. He should have talked to you because in any relationship, communication is key. And you should be angry about that. But maybe, when you’re ready, you could consider that he’s trying to balance a lot on his shoulders, and he didn’t want to burden you with more.”
“Not anymore. I removed myself from the equation. It should make things easier.”
She drummed her fingers across the table. “Yeah? You really believe he’s at home breathing a sigh of relief?”
I remembered seeing the look of pain in his eyes as he finally got out of my car. “No,” I answered quietly.
She carried our empty ice cream bowls to the dishwasher. “Obviously, I don’t have an answer for you. You’re both hurting over a situation you both feel is out of your control.”
“Out of mine, anyway.”
“For him, too.” She sat back down and reached across the tablet, taking my hands in hers. “Look, I’m on your side. He shouldn’t have kept things from you and then only told you because he was pushed into it. But maybe, when you’re able to feel a little less hurt, you might see that almost his entire life has been out of his control. He’s struggling to find that sense of control where he can. So maybe he didn’t handle it the way you or I would. But he had a prior commitment he made to his brother. Imagine how hard it would be for him to fail at that, especially after everything you said he told you about his brother. And out of nowhere, someone comes into his life that he cares so much about that it actually makes him question that commitment. Do you really want to be the reason he fails at it?”
“No, of course not.” I scowled at her, half wishing she wasn’t so wise and had stuck to seeing that he was the bad guy.
As if she read my mind, she confirmed, “I don’t think he’s a bad guy. Current situation aside, he’s been a good friend—a quiet one—but he’s always around to help when things seem to go wrong. He’s had no one to stand up for him outside of his brother.” She arched an eyebrow at me and tapped the table space in front of me with her finger. “Even you used him in the beginning to do Renovation Station.”
“Ouch.” But even after consuming a bottle of wine, I knew she was right. “You’re right. I wish you weren’t, but you are. It still doesn’t fix things, but I guess I understand him a little better. Doesn’t make it hurt any less, though.”
Her smile was a little sad as she came around the table and pulled me up for a hug. Her arms were strong, and I could feel her love literally transfer from her heart to mine. “Thanks, cuz. You’re the absolute best.”
“Well, I’m your girl if you want a little truth. If you still want to bury a body, wait until Bristol gets home.”
I snorted. It was probably a good thing she wasn’t here after all.
“Stay here as long as you like,” Em said. “Zach has already made sure the guest bedroom has fresh towels.” She yawned, and I felt terrible for keeping her up so late, knowing she’d have to get up early with the baby.
I took a step backward, stumbling slightly as I reached for my chair. “I love you. Thanks for sitting up with me and listening to my troubles.”
“I love you, Cammy. I’m always here for you.” She turned and staggered a little herself, giggling, then turned back to me. “We should do this more often.” She hiccupped. “Well, not the breakup thing,” she amended when my eyes grew wide. “I mean having more girl time. I can’t handle my alcohol anymore.”
For the first time since dinner—had that really been just a few hours ago?—I smiled a little. “Let’s make that happen. And, Em?”
“Yeah?” she answered sleepily.
“I’m really glad you and Zach were able to work things out. You two represent everything I want.”
She smiled a little. “You’ll find it, too, honey. Maybe with Mac, maybe not. But remember, you’re strong on your own. You don’t need anyone to make you that way.”
Her words continued to resonate with me long after she went to bed and well into the other bottle of wine she left out for me.
Chapter 34
Mac
It had to have been the longest week in the history of time. It was even longer than when Trey was awaiting trial because, at least then, I was trying everything I could to find ways to help him. I’d withdrawn all the money we’d saved and searched out a lawyer. I spent any hour I wasn’t working trying to find people who would be willing to testify or write letters saying he wasn’t a violent person.
But when you’ve learned to keep your head down and stick to yourself, it doesn’t do a lot to build relationships with people. At least, not the one who’d go to bat for you.
Now, however, I could only throw myself into work so much. If it had been up to me, I would have worked ‘til I dropped, rather than face an empty cabin that held so many memories of Cameron. But the guys were only contracted until 4:30 p.m. With lengthening days, I went for longer and longer runs on the path behind my house. But when it grew dark, there was nothing else for me to do but return to the cabin, a place I couldn’t call “home” anymore because it was Cameron who made it a home.
I didn’t care that she’d brought in a few new pillows or a more colorful throw rug, or even put up a couple of pictures of Colorado on my bookcases. It was her. Her laughter and warmth were what turned it into a home. After what happened to Trey, I rarely touched alcohol. But even if I wanted to go into town to hit Ferg’s, I couldn’t. I couldn’t take the risk of running into Chase or Zach, or even Reid, although I hadn’t grown as close to him as I had to the others. Not that that was saying much.
