Save Me Santa, page 3
That got some quiet laughter and I had to roll my eyes too…definitely dragging his feet.
“Are you going to kiss him again?” Closet Dude wasn’t holding back.
“I really shouldn’t.” That was not a no. “But he didn’t say I needed to apologize to him and he did save us from a spider.”
I thought it would be my job to drag out getting rewards because of the spider but clearly it would be a two-way street.
“He did.” Flamethrower Dude sighed. “But do you want him to show up in person or to just be a secret? I mean, he might be eighty and homely. Or worse, that guy in the other building who always smells weird and leers at everyone.”
So yes, it was now confirmed that they’d never smoked pot.
I could almost hear the wince in Bambi’s voice. “Oh, I hope I didn’t kiss him.”
Laughing would’ve been rude and it would’ve given me away, so I did my best to keep it quiet as I shook my head. No, he hadn’t kissed that old hippie.
“What if it’s someone hot?” Closet Dude asked an interesting question. “You know. Like those guys downstairs who always have the music on, or oh, the cranky guy who lives with the shy one. They’re all hot on that floor. It’s kind of weird.”
I had to admit he was right.
It was weird and my neighbors across the hall were all kinds of hot. But they must not have been paying attention because I was pretty sure cranky guy and shy guy were at least dating.
“The girls are hot too. But well, they’re girls so…” Flamethrower Dude’s response made me think he wasn’t as straight as I’d assumed they all were.
But ignoring his questionable sexuality, he was right as well.
Whoever was assigning apartments seemed to be putting every hot person in one building and all the questionable ones in the other. Except we’d gotten wonderfully lucky and had ended up stuck with the idiot who liked weird pets.
But one anomaly aside, this building was filled with really attractive people.
No matter if it was luck or someone in admissions trying to play matchmaker, I pushed away the random thoughts and focused on Bambi. He still hadn’t answered the question and I was hoping someone would call him out on it.
“We probably shouldn’t guess. That’s just going to make it awkward when we walk past them on the stairs.” Bambi had been trying to change the subject, but it just had Dumb and Dumber laughing.
“Like you…like you did with the guy who’s always frowning.” Flamethrower was laughing so hard it took me a moment to realize he’d been talking about me.
I was frowning guy.
Well, at least I wasn’t asshole guy.
Bambi sighed and I could almost hear him squirming. “He smiled at me. I couldn’t help it. He makes me stupid.”
Oh.
As I sat marveling at the new information, they snickered and teased Bambi, but most of the exact words were lost in the laughter.
When they quieted down, Closet Dude chuckled. “Okay, it’s finished and it looks fabulous. But what are you going to say?”
Flamethrower Dude decided to be helpful. “How about thanks for the toy and the rescue and I’d like to give you more kisses?”
Bambi’s groan said that idea was painful. “No, just no.”
“Maybe ask him out to dinner to thank him more thoroughly?” The obviously dirty intent of Closet Dude had Bambi making dramatic sounds.
“With my luck, it’s the weird-smelling guy and he’ll think I’m in love or something.” Bambi sighed. “I should probably just say thank you and leave it at that. I might’ve imagined the whole kissing thing.”
No, he hadn’t…so maybe I needed to point that out as well?
Was there a way to hint at who I was without making everyone uncomfortable?
I mean, I was frowning guy.
I might make him trip but that wasn’t a huge endorsement in my favor. The only upside to what he’d said was that he seemed to like my smile and I didn’t make him uncomfortable in a bad way. Making him stupid was a good thing, right?
Sighing, I listened to them finish encouraging Bambi to write something in the card and then they talked about dinner and a list of people I thought might be Bambi’s family members. As the stories came out, it seemed that one of his brothers’ friends was at fault for the pot brownies and I thought I caught something about Flamethrower’s mother getting them drunk with cake?
It was slightly confusing but some of my questions were starting to get answers.
I was mostly just relieved that Bambi was single and not a constant pot smoker. I was with Flamethrower Dude, it smelled disgusting. The sour-sweet scent made me think something had started to rot.
No matter how cute Bambi was, I couldn’t have handled something like that, little or not.
He was a little.
They brought it up casually in too many ways for me to wonder if I’d gotten it wrong. There were constant teasing comments about his toys or how he was carrying his new bear around everywhere.
It’d been so long since I’d been around a little, I’d forgotten how cute they could be in everyday kind of situations. Just the excitement in his voice when Flamethrower Dude promised him mac-n-cheese for dinner was enough to make me chuckle.
But that didn’t mean he thought I was Daddy material or even attractive in general.
Fuck. It didn’t even mean he was looking for a Daddy.
Fuck. It didn’t even mean I wanted to be a Daddy.
It did however mean I stayed up late so I could get my fucking incredible card after they’d gone to bed, and it’d meant I’d stayed up even later wrapping the extra outfit I’d gotten for the bear.
I was such a sucker.
But I was a sucker who’d thought long and hard about what I was going to say.
Let’s call me your Secret Santa for the time being.
I thought your bear needed another outfit.
Thank you for the card. You did a great job and it means a lot that you made it yourself.
If you were wondering… I’m not old. I don’t smell funny. But I might be weird.
Should I make you guess who I am?
Santa’s Secret Helper
Chapter 4
Brady
I couldn’t help giggling as soon as I opened the door. “I got another present.”
Gareth and Cash just laughed at my excitement, but I sighed as I snatched it up and hurried over to the couch. “And there’s a card.”
Pulling out the tissue paper, I couldn’t help the squeal of excitement. “Oh, it’s another outfit for my new bear.”
I was starting to think I wouldn’t mind it even if he was the stinky guy, if he got me such nice presents and didn’t mind that I liked toys.
Daddies weren’t always cover models no matter what romance novels said.
“Oh, he said he’s not smelly guy.” That was such a relief. He always gave me a headache and he was kind of odd. Reading the note, I laughed again. “He says he’s weird.”
“What?” Gareth laughed and came over to the couch to read my note. “He really did. Oh, he said you should guess who he is.”
“No, he asked if I wanted to guess who he is. That’s very different.” And it was very Daddy-like. “He’s being silly.”
And cute.
And he didn’t smell.
That was wonderful because I didn’t think I could’ve brought home someone who smelled so odd without one of the little kids saying something mean.
Kids were…entirely too honest sometimes. Yes. They were just too honest.
“Are you going to try to figure it out?” Cashel looked like he’d taken that as a challenge and the spark in his eyes made me nervous. I had a feeling he’d set up traps like we were trying to catch a fairy or something.
“I don’t think so…not yet, anyway.” Studying my card and the careful handwriting, I wondered what my Secret Santa wanted. “I think if he were ready to tell me, he would have.”
Maybe?
Gareth cocked his head. “How do you get a Secret Santa ready?”
That was a very good question.
“Oh…” The best questions were always the hardest to answer. “I think I need to give him another thank-you card and then ask him some questions? People like talking about themselves, right? I should probably ask if he’s thought about being a Daddy. He buys very nice presents and he saves me from spiders. I think those are the most important qualifications. You guys feed me and I don’t mind taking a bath by myself even when I’m little. So…”
I shrugged. That really did cover the most important parts.
Gareth nodded, but Cashel looked thoughtful and poked at my logic. “What about kisses? I mean, you said you wanted to eventually have sex.”
Good point.
“He didn’t seem like he minded me kissing him because he never asked for an apology for that. But I should probably offer him one, anyway. I hadn’t thought about elves having boundaries.” It’d been rather presumptuous of me. “Does anyone remember if I asked permission?”
They both shrugged, but Cashel was taking it very seriously. “I don’t think you’re the type to grab and kiss someone randomly even if they were an elf. You’re very polite.”
That was true.
“I’ll have to figure that out.” That was the only way to make sure. “I’ll ask him if he knows about Daddy stuff and if I should apologize for kissing him. I think that’s a good start.”
I didn’t think I needed to spell out that I was a little, he was magic after all and seemed to already know that. But just because he understood me didn’t mean he understood himself. Yes, I needed to start with an apology and follow up with a few questions.
And…
“Do you think I should make him something else?” I looked between Gareth and Cash and then over at my stack of papers and crayons on the table. “It would be rude to just take presents without giving him anything that says I appreciate it.”
“Yeah.” Gareth looked at Cash. “He can’t even give him kisses or a blow job as a thank-you at this point, so it needs to be something homemade. That’s almost as special as a blow job or sex.”
Hmm. I hadn’t thought about it that way.
“I’m not sure I should be thanking him that way for toys, though.” Right? “I think cards and crafts for little thank-yous and blow jobs for big thank-yous would make the most sense.”
“Where would the spider fall under?” Cash looked at Gareth. “It needs to be good if it’s going to cover all three of us.”
“He’s mine.” Glaring at Cash, I shook my head. “The card and the toy were for me, so he’s my Secret Santa. I’ll be responsible for the thank-yous.”
I wasn’t sharing my elf.
I wasn’t sure why, but I knew sharing would not work.
“Alright.” Gareth shrugged. “Just as long as that’s the deal. You can’t get angry in six months because we didn’t thank your elf for saving us.”
That would be rude.
“No, I’ll handle it.” I was such a wonderful adult it was definitely time to be little as my reward. “Now I have to figure out what to make for him. You know if I had—”
“No.” Cash barked out the word, looking very stern. He normally didn’t let that side out but glitter was one of his boundaries.
I should’ve remembered that, but it was hard.
“Sorry.” I only sounded a small amount frustrated about it, so I thought that was pretty good.
Gareth still found the whole glitter fiasco funnier than Cash did, so he was giggling until Cash turned the glare on him. Then Gareth’s laugh turned into big old donkey sounds that made Cash throw up his hands. “See if I make cookies for Santa now.”
Oh, that was…
Poking Gareth while he brayed, I shook my head. “You have to fix this. He’s serious. I’m not allowed to touch the stove and you always make cookies that are too hard. Santa wants soft ones so that means Cash has to make them.”
How did he keep forgetting that?
This was not the season to piss off the only person who would bake.
Santa did not deserve store-bought cookies just because we’d been naughty.
Gareth was set on being bad and kept laughing, so I just shook my head and threw up my hands like my mother did when we’d gotten on her last nerve. Hmm, it worked on him too. As I marched off toward the table, he sat up and took a breath. “Sorry. I’ll fix it.”
That was much better.
“Thank you. I was very disappointed in you, but I’m glad to see you’ve decided to change your behavior.” Or was this changing his attitude?
Hmm, how had she decided which word to use?
Deciding to worry about that later, I pointed toward the back of the apartment. “This might be a good time to fix it. We can’t risk having to learn how to bake this close to Christmas.”
That just sounded dangerous…although the firefighters had been very nice and explained that there’d been a recall on the toaster.
They’d also been very handsome even if none of them had seemed like a Daddy.
“Now I’m getting distracted.” Okay, what to do first?
Sitting down at the table, I looked at everything we’d picked up and decided my Secret Santa needed a picture frame. That would be a wonderful gift and I had plenty of popsicle sticks to make it with.
And then I’d get to use lots of glue…maybe even the glitter glue I’d snuck in the cart.
It was under my bed, and maybe if Gareth distracted Cashel enough, I could sneak it out to the table.
“It’s going to be perfect.” But what to do in the meantime? “My questions. I’ll work on my rough draft.”
This was important enough that I might need several drafts.
“Okay, what do I need to know?” Talking it through, I ignored Gareth’s terrible apology and focused on my questions as I picked out a bright red crayon that would be perfect for making notes. “I need to know if he understands about Daddies and littles.”
Yes, that was a good place to start.
“I need to know if I actually kissed him or if I just thought I did…and going along with that, I need to know if I should apologize for thinking about kissing him or actually kissing him.” Either way he might need an apology.
“I should probably ask if it would be okay to do it again…well, maybe I need to figure out who I’m talking to first.” Yes, unfortunately that might be a good idea.
Safety first.
No awkward run-ins in the building, second.
“What else…” I was mostly talking to myself, but Gareth decided to be helpful.
“Ask him what other stuff he’ll save you from.” He sighed as he called out from the kitchen. “This guy would’ve been really helpful when we had all those crickets and the fucking mouse. It really was a mouse.”
I agreed with him, but I wasn’t going to start the Great Mouse Debate again.
“That’s a good idea. Thank you.” He was helpful even if we hadn’t found the mouse.
“I should probably ask what kind of weird he is. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of variety in that description.” And my judgment was not always as good as it should’ve been when it came to interesting people.
I hadn’t met my Secret Santa online but meeting him magically probably wasn’t any better.
It probably wasn’t any worse, though, so I set my list of questions aside and started to build. It would’ve been prettier with glitter glue, but Cash kept wandering around the apartment. But I was very understanding and just painted the frame.
“I think he’s going to like this.” Maybe one day my elf would put a picture of us in it.
Oh, a picture.
Picking up a clean sheet of paper, I studied the blank space. “What do you think he looks like? I want to put a picture of us in the frame.”
Just in case he didn’t know what a picture frame looked like.
I wasn’t completely sure if he was human or not, so if elves didn’t have frames at the North Pole, it should help.
“Oh…” Cash plopped down on the couch. “That’s a good question. Um, tall? He was taller than you, right?”
I had an image of stretching up to kiss my elf, so that made sense.
“Okay, yes. That’s a very good start.” Beginning with me, I did a pretty good self-portrait as we talked about my Secret Santa. “Does anyone else remember our elf being a redhead? Am I just making that up, because it would make my mother very happy?”
She’d always wanted redheaded children, but sadly she’d only produced a range of light browns and that wasn’t nearly as much fun.
“Not like a clown red but maybe a reddish brown?” Cash was staring at the tree, frowning and studying it. “I don’t think he was dressed like an elf. Put him in regular clothes.”
“I have a feeling he looks good in black.” Starting with a black T-shirt, I gave him a head and jeans and made his hair a reddish-brown color that looked very pretty. “I wonder if our children would end up being redheads?”
Gareth rolled his eyes. “Unless you’ve turned into one of those omegas in the dirty books you read, that ain’t happening.”
He was such a party pooper.
“Fine.” Mom would say we could have a surrogate, anyway. So she could still get redheaded grandchildren. It would be fine because I knew my elf would be flexible.
As the frame dried, I went back to my list of questions. “At what point is it acceptable to suggest meeting in person? You know, to make sure he’s human and not the smelly guy.”
Just in case.
I know he said he didn’t smell funny, but I had a feeling smelly guy didn’t think he stank either.
Yep, I needed to be careful or I’d end up with a smelly elf Secret Santa…but he had rescued me from a spider, so…maybe it wouldn’t be so bad?
Chapter 5
Jude
He was… I didn’t have the words to describe him as I read through the letter he’d left with my picture frame.
Dear Secret Santa,
Thank you for the new clothes. My bear looks lovely and you have a wonderful sense of style. You’re very nice, but I have a question for you that I hope you won’t be offended by. Due to a fruit cake mix-up and being accidentally poisoned with pot brownies, I don’t have a very clear vision of our first meeting. However, I think I might have kissed you or at least vividly imagined kissing you. Would you be able to tell me if I owe you an apology? Letting me know if I actually kissed you would be appreciated as well.
