Risking It All For The Sinful Earl (Historical Regency), page 13
Was he regretful that he had asked for her hand and having second thoughts? Did the earl finally have what he wanted and then felt free to go about his normal life, his future wife assured? Was the earl trying to build anticipation for their wedding, or the most boring notion of all, was he merely busy? Emilia didn’t know the cause of his absence and she was loathe to send him a note enquiring after him. How utterly embarrassing to have to write a letter to one’s own fiancé in order to ask where the devil they were! No, Emilia would not stoop so low. The earl’s business was his own business, and besides, in a rather dark way, it was merely a marriage of convenience, was it not?
Yet still Emilia had to admit to herself that she longed to see him. Memories of that rainy morning in the garden infiltrated her mind constantly. She thought of the moment when she collapsed into Lord Joshua’s arms and how he carried her so effortlessly. She thought of when he kissed her ferociously, and twice, after she had agreed to marry him. Emilia would never forget the anger she felt, the confusion, and the longing. It was all too clear that she had very strong emotions pertaining to her future husband, but those emotions would change in colour from one day to the next.
And did Lord Joshua truly love her? Were his desires merely carnal? Why would he go out of his way in order to make Emilia his bride when he could choose any young lady in London, particularly those with wealth? His desire to have her made very little sense and, considering that he didn’t appear to make any of these things clear, Emilia had a great deal of time to ruminate.
“One more day,” Gina said sombrely, serving Emilia a cup of tea whilst she stared out at the garden in her favourite chair. “One more day until you’re taken to prison.”
“Gina,” Emilia protested, thinking that she’d never seen her maid so downcast.
“And I go to prison as well.”
“If you think that Findley House is some kind of prison, then I can’t imagine what you’d think of the Tower of London.”
“At least prisoners at the Tower are there for a reason,” Gina went on. “They’ve committed a crime. You, on the other hand, have done nothing.”
“Nor has Roderick,” Emilia mused.
“Precisely! This is all the result of an uptight society, if you ask me. Why should Roderick need to be married to have a child? And why can’t he marry an actress? It all seems so silly.”
“That is some very forward-minded reasoning,” Emilia said. She was impressed. Despite Gina’s moodiness in the past month, she was speaking of rather progressive ideas that seemed shocking, and which Emilia wasn’t entirely opposed to.
“It’s all just a trap, I tell you. Have you heard of what has happened to Lady Isla Abercrombie?”
“I have not.”
“Oh, heavens, I need a cup of tea,” Gina said, and that’s when Emilia knew that her maid was about to get into the gossip. On that particular afternoon, the day before her wedding, the gossip was welcome so as to take Emilia’s mind off things. “Where was I?” Gina asked, seating herself in a chair.
“Lady Isla Abercrombie. Someone I’m quite fond of.”
“Yes, of course. How do I begin?”
“At the beginning,” Emilia replied with a little laugh.
“So, Lady Isla is in her study, working with her sampler on her lap. And in pops a Scottish Highlander, unannounced!”
“Come now, Gina,” Emilia interjected, thinking it improbable.
“I cannot tell a lie,” Gina said, her eyes wild with excitement. “The large Highlander comes in, wearing kilt and tartan, claiming that Lady Isla was sold to him to be his bride when she was a wee girl.”
“How is that possible?”
“You wouldn’t believe the things that the Scottish do,” Gina replied, lifting her brow. “And so, Lady Isla’s father sold her to the Highlander at a young age, and all this while, her foray into London society was merely an attempt to escape her fate. She thought that the Highlander would not find her, but alas. He picked Lady Isla up out of her chair, threw her across his shoulder, and rode all the way back to Scotland on his horse, carrying Isla like a sack of potatoes.”
“Gina, I’m horrified. This can’t be true,” Emilia said.
“Oh, but it is true. I beg of you to write Lady Isla Abercrombie a letter this very day, and I promise that you will receive no response.”
Emilia stopped to consider Gina’s story. Clearly, the point she was trying to make was that women were being entrapped everywhere they turned. Yet still, as with most of Gina’s stories, Emilia was struggling with the credibility.
“And have you heard of Lady Constance Belmore and the pirates yet?” Gina asked.
“Gina, I think I need to make wedding preparations now,” Emilia said, unsure if she could hear of another woman being bought, sold or stolen. And what’s more, she truly did wish to write a letter to Lady Isla Abercrombie, just to make sure.
“Very well,” Gina said, returning to her melancholy state. “I’ll go and press your gown.”
“I thank you.”
The gown was something of a marvel. Never had Emilia seen such a lush green colour. She could very well have used a green gown that was already in her collection but, considering that it was an important wedding and all of London society would be there, Emilia opted instead to have a gown made in town. The fabric came from France, as did the design, since all things French were au courant. What was even more shocking were the jewels. Although it was vexing and confusing that there was little contact between her and Lord Joshua during the time since the proposal, what she had received from him by footman had been shocking to say the least. The emeralds arrived in a pristine white box, lined with silk. All in all, there was a large, heavy emerald necklace, accompanied by chandelier emerald earrings and a gold bracelet. Emilia thought it all to be too extravagant, and she was unsure whether or not the earl even knew that she’d be wearing green for the wedding.
The white box sat on Emilia’s vanity table and she daren’t move it or touch it. She feared that if she opened the box, the jewels would float into the air and disappear. So rich and extravagant were they, Emilia had to wonder where the earl even procured them. Surely the finery was from abroad, for Emilia had never seen anything like them in London.
The rich and exotic gift was not accompanied by a letter. If the footman hadn’t mentioned it, Emilia would even be left to wonder if it was from her fiancé at all. Curiosity overtaking her, Emilia walked towards the white box and opened it one more time, just to make sure that her imagination wasn’t playing tricks on her. Sure enough, the jewels were there, and as a ray of sunlight came in from the window and struck them, a dazzling array of shimmering green ripples cascaded across the room. It was pure magic. Emilia brushed her fingers across the jewels and felt how cool and smooth they were to the touch. Just then, she heard someone step into her room and Emilia closed the box abruptly, as though it were scandalous being caught doing such a thing.
“Why did you jump?” Roderick asked.
“Don’t you know you’re supposed to knock!” Emilia said, feeling as though she were in her teen years again.
“I was merely coming to check in on you.”
“I’m making preparations, for tomorrow,” Emilia explained.
“May I be seated?” Roderick asked.
“Of course.”
Her brother seated himself and scratched his chin, looking down at the floor. If Gina had been melancholy for the past month, then it could be said that Roderick had been distant. Emilia was unsure whether or not guilt might be overtaking him. Surely, there was no reason for that any longer. Emilia had made up her mind and there was no turning back. What was done was done.
“How are you feeling?” Roderick asked.
The way that he asked the question made it sound like Emilia was on her deathbed. “I feel quite all right,” she replied, not sharing the whole truth.
“So, you’re resolved?”
“Brother, we’ve already had this discussion,” Emilia protested. “Of course I’m resolved. I have the wedding dress to prove it.”
“And you harbour no anger towards me?”
Her brother was feeling guilt after all. Emilia walked towards the window and looked out, her arms crossed over her chest. Was that how it was to be between them for the rest of their days? Would he constantly be seeking forgiveness? Would Emilia endlessly need to explain herself?
“Anger doesn’t play into this in the slightest. If there’s anyone that I can be angry at, it’s the Earl of Dennaby.”
“But he has saved us.”
“Brother, when a cat traps a mouse and then sets it free, you can’t call the cat a saint.”
“You are to be a countess,” Roderick said in wonder.
“And you’re to be a politician. What would Mother and Father think of us stooping so low?” Emilia added humorously.
“I think they would be proud.”
“I do hope so,” Emilia said dreamily, looking up at the clouds through the window. What would her mother think of her green gown? And what would have been the look on her father’s face as he walked Emilia down the aisle? Such wonderful things that she had to miss out on in life. But, considering that she was anticipating a family of her own, Emilia hoped that her own children would never have to miss out on such things.
“I have not seen him in some time,” Emilia said.
“Who?”
“Lord Joshua. He has absented himself,” she added, a tinge of irony in her voice. “Do you suppose that that is what the marriage is to be like?”
“No, I think that Lord Joshua is deeply in love with you.”
“Oh, come now,” Emilia protested.
“It’s true. Why else would he go to such lengths?”
“Then where is he? Oh, I suppose that I shouldn’t even care. I should get this ceremony over and done with tomorrow so that I might get on with my life.”
“I want you to be happy, Emilia,” Roderick said, tenderness in his voice.
Emilia turned to her brother and cocked her head. “I do too, brother.”
The rest of the day passed quickly and within no time Emilia found that the morning of her wedding was upon her. She awoke to a hot cup of tea and a warm scone on a tray, and Emilia indulged herself by eating it in bed. Upon the tray was a small bud vase with a white rose. Emilia brought the rose to her nose to smell it and the fragrance was delightful. No doubt it was a rose from their own garden.
Surprisingly, Emilia’s spirits were high. She had a new life laid out before her. She studied every element of her room, trying to memorise the details. Soon enough, the room would no longer be hers. The modest chamber would be supplanted with what she assumed to be a much more lavish one. Would she be as happy in that room? Only time would tell.
Before long, Emilia was up and out of bed and noted that a gentle rain began to fall outside, not unlike the rain that had fallen on the day that Lord Joshua proposed. They did say that it was good luck to have rain on one’s wedding day, but Emilia had to wonder. Luckily, the ceremony was to take place in St. George’s Cathedral and the wedding breakfast at Rules, Lord Joshua’s favourite restaurant. Yet still, the rain felt ominous in some way.
As Gina dressed Emilia in her green gown, her thoughts returned again to Lord Joshua and how she had not seen him in some time. Would he enjoy the way that she looked, and what’s more, should Emilia even care if he did? The emerald jewels were placed upon her neck and ears lastly and, looking at herself in the mirror, Emilia did not recognise the woman who looked back. It was the face of a countess, someone she was not yet aquatinted with.
“My word, but you look stunning,” Gina said, her melancholy lifting.
“It is a pretty picture,” Emilia replied, not thinking that the figure who looked back at her was real in the slightest. Similar to how the earl always appeared to her as a painting, now Emilia must become a painting as well.
The carriage arrived to take her to St. George’s and that’s when the nerves finally hit. It was all happening so fast and Emilia felt as though she were in some kind of dream. Roderick rode with her in the carriage, and within no time, Emilia found herself looking out of the window at the massive cathedral, fearing that her stomach was about to lurch through her throat.
“I’m shaking,” Emilia said.
“It shall be over soon,” Roderick replied, seeming equally as nervous. “We will drink champagne at breakfast.”
“May be good for the nerves.”
Roderick helped Emilia out of the carriage, and she felt drops of rain on her skin. They hurried as fast as they could to the entrance, and that’s when Emilia noted how many carriages there were outside. St. George’s Cathedral would be packed, and all eyes would be on Emilia.
“Here we go then,” Roderick said, putting out his arm so that Emilia might grab onto it.
“Please keep me steady,” she begged her brother.
“I won’t let you fall.”
As they walked through the great doors, Emilia felt her breath catch in her chest. Every pew within the great cathedral was filled and, as expected, all eyes turned towards her. She feared that her legs would not move, that she could not walk down that aisle, but Roderick’s steady gait kept her moving in the direction that was intended. At the end of the aisle, what seemed like leagues away, Lord Joshua stood, in a fine black suit. That was the man she was to be married to for the rest of her days. Emilia felt the desire to turn and run from the cathedral as fast as her legs could carry her. The only thought that kept her walking towards the Earl of Dennaby was the remembrance that she was saving her brother. Emilia was protecting his future.
Reaching the end of the aisle, after what felt like an eternity, Emilia turned her eyes towards Lord Joshua and felt indignation once more. Where had he been all that time? Why had he left her with such doubtful thoughts? But those concerns were alleviated when she saw what had to be genuine warmth and rapture in the earl’s eyes.
“You’re a vision,” Lord Joshua whispered to her tenderly.
“I’m nervous.”
“You needn’t be,” he said, reaching out and grasping her hands. He would hold onto them tightly for the rest of the ceremony. The service passed quickly and the next thing that Emilia knew, there was a silver ring around her finger and she was a married woman. The crowd cheered and as Lady Emilia, Countess of Dennaby, and Lord Joshua, Earl of Dennaby, walked back down the aisle, the guests arose from the pews.
Then Emilia was standing in the rain as her husband pulled her towards another carriage, the one that was to take them to Rules post haste. Once within the carriage, Emilia looked out towards the people who had gathered outside St. George’s, throwing rice exultingly into the air.
“I can’t believe that it is done,” Emilia said, her hand still in Lord Joshua’s.
“Wife,” Lord Joshua said, pulling Emilia into him and stealing an impassioned kiss, much more deep and full of longing than the other kisses that they had shared. Emilia was certain that their lips did not part during the entire journey to Rules. Thoughts of where the earl had been the last month were banished from Emilia’s thoughts. From his kiss, she knew he had been longing for her the entire time.
Chapter 13
Despite the grand setting for the wedding, Emilia was surprised by how simple and modest the ceremony had been. The vicar had performed the ritual with expert care, and Emilia managed to not falter with her words. So much of the ceremony came back to Emilia as she was seated at the breakfast table at Rules. Nerves had been so heightened that morning that the actual events of the wedding were surreal at the time they were taking place. Once her nerves were restored, it was as though Emilia’s mind was able to function normally yet again.
