The Missing Sister, page 17
‘Yes. I . . . well, I’ve been asked to stay on in a permanent position as nurse to Philip at the Big House.’ She saw the look that passed between her parents. ‘I wanted to ask you whether you thought ’twas a good idea. Oh, and’ – Nuala added what she hoped was the icing on the cake – ‘a big fancy car arrived today. A man called General Strickland was visiting Sir Reginald.’
‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph!’ Daniel exclaimed. ‘He’s the louser that runs the police force and all military operations up in Cork. He was there today?’
‘Yes,’ Nuala nodded.
‘Do you know why?’
‘I’ve not a clue, Daddy, but today I met Lady Fitzgerald. She spoke to me personally to offer me the position. And ’twas her who said about the general.’
‘Our girl’s infiltrating the heart of that family, Eileen,’ Daniel beamed.
‘And I’ve also an idea of how to see more.’
Nuala outlined her plan to persuade Philip downstairs and out into the garden.
There was a pause as her parents looked at each other again.
‘Sure, Nuala, ’tis worth sticking with the work for now. But in a week’s time, ’twill no longer be our decision what you do. You’ll have to visit your fiancé tomorrow and ask him,’ said Daniel.
‘I’d say he mightn’t be too pleased if his new wife is out until nine o’clock at night. Who will have his tea on the table when he comes home from the schoolroom?’
Nuala was fully prepared for this comment from her mother. ‘Finn rarely gets home until after six o’clock. I’d leave his tea ready for him, so all he has to do is take the lid off the bowl and eat it.’
‘I doubt he’ll be wanting cold stew or vegetables a few hours old,’ said Daniel, ‘but that’s for him to decide, not us, daughter. A wife’s place is by her husband’s side, and I’m sure he’ll not be wanting you cycling home in the dark and the rain when the nights draw in for winter.’
Nuala was reminded of the conversation she’d had with Philip earlier about the suffragettes.
‘I’ll be earning good money, which would help us,’ she persisted. ‘Finn’s wages don’t go far and we have no land to farm on to supplement it, so. Anyway, if he’s after agreeing, would you think it’s a good idea?’
‘I’ve said what I think, but ’tis not for me to decide,’ said Daniel. ‘Now, I’m for my bed. Leave a lamp burning in the window. We’ve new calves in the barn, which’ll be collected by dawn. Goodnight, daughter.’
‘Goodnight,’ she called as her parents made their way up the stairs to the bed that sometimes creaked in an odd way a while after they closed their bedroom door. She knew what the sound was, a sound that she herself would help make when she and Finn were wed . . . She blushed at the very thought of it.
Blowing out the candles, she left the oil lamp on the window ledge and went upstairs.
Only one more week of sleeping with my sister, she thought as she undressed, then crept in next to Hannah. They took turns to lie on the lumpy bit of the covered straw pallet because it was the worst place to sleep, but with Hannah up early to go to Cork City tomorrow, ’twas only fair that tonight she had the good side. Nuala shut her eyes and tried not to think about the ‘new calves’ in the barn. This was code for rifles that had been passed through many hands to reach them here in West Cork, and were currently lying in a dump in the woods behind the farmhouse. If they were found by the British before they were collected, the men in the family would be taken to Bandon Barracks to suffer the same fate as Tom and Pat. Comforting herself with the thought that Fergus was on watch up top, she did her best to go to sleep. After all, there had been ‘calves’ left here many times before . . .
‘What’s all this I hear about you carrying on working up at the Big House?’ demanded Hannah the next day when she was back from Cork City. Nuala was mucking out the pigsty and replacing the straw, a job they both hated. ‘What, I wonder, will Finn be thinking about that?’
‘I’ll be asking him, won’t I? Then I’ll tell you,’ Nuala shot back.
‘’Tis all right for some: finding yourself a good husband with a proper job and working up at the Big House. All of this down at your cosy new cottage in Clogagh. We’ll be calling you Lady Nuala soon enough, so we will. What about your volunteer work?’
‘I’ll take messages in the morning, and when I’m back at night, I swear. And I have Sundays off too. There.’ Nuala threw in the last batch of fresh straw and moved over to the water barrel to wash the stench of pig from her hands. She’d skip eating lunch and bathe in the stream on her way to the Big House, because she’d not want to arrive smelling of pig.
‘I’m sorry, Nuala,’ Hannah sighed, ‘I’m after turning into a grumpy old maid. I’m exhausted, I am. I had to cycle back the long way round from the station, as I saw a truck full of Tans.’
‘Where were they headed?’ Nuala asked as they walked towards the kitchen.
‘They stopped at the Clogagh crossroads and didn’t seem to know which way to turn. They were lost, since the volunteers took down the signposts,’ she said with a giggle.
‘I’ll cook the lunch before I go, so, no bother.’
‘Thanks.’ Hannah gave her a wan smile as they entered the kitchen and she went upstairs.
‘Did the calves leave the barn safely last night, Daddy?’ she asked as Daniel arrived from the front entrance of the cottage.
‘I’d say they did, yes. Now, where’s my lunch?’
Having had no time to visit Finn, Nuala explained to Philip that he’d get her answer on Monday, for tomorrow was a Sunday, and her day off.
‘But even if he says yes, Philip, I’d be having to take next Friday off for my wedding.’
‘And I’d have thought the day after that too,’ Philip said brusquely. ‘Well, let me know for definite on Monday, and pity me having Maureen as my nurse all day tomorrow.’
Once she’d got that over with, they’d played their first game of chess, which took them straight up to tea time. As Nuala drank her tea, she decided to tackle him.
‘I’ve been thinking . . .’
‘About . . .?’
‘Well, what if I was to tell Mrs Houghton that you were wanting to come down to the garden but didn’t want the staff around to disturb you? We could ring the bell to let her know we were coming, then I could take you out by the front entrance and into a place where the gardeners wouldn’t be working. I’m sure there must be somewhere in that great big park outside where you can sit in peace? The weather’s set fair for the next few days.’
‘I don’t know, Nuala,’ Philip sighed. ‘Like you, I’ll think about it tomorrow and give you my answer on Monday.’
‘’Tis up to you, o’course, but for the love of God, you can’t stay up here for the rest of your life,’ she said, trying to keep her voice calm. ‘All the flowers are in full bloom, and the air smells of cow parsley and . . . I just think ’twould do you a lot of good. We could put your trilby on your head to hide your face and—’
‘Have you been in cahoots with Mother, Nuala?’ he interrupted. ‘I’m afraid you’re beginning to sound just like her.’
‘No, I haven’t, but maybe we’re thinking the same thoughts because we want the best for you.’
‘What’s best for me is if I never wake up again! I don’t know which is worse,’ he continued. ‘The nightmares full of bangs and whistles and then the thud as the shells hit the ground and explode, or this waking hell.’
‘Oh Philip, please don’t be saying such things! You’ve suffered terribly, and it’s understandable you’re feeling like you do, but you’re still here on God’s green earth and I’d say that’s because you’re meant to be.’
‘What use can I be to anyone like this?’
‘For a start, you’ve taught me to play chess,’ Nuala rallied. ‘And maybe, once you’ve braved going downstairs, you could be enjoying more company, like that man who visited your parents yesterday.’
‘General Strickland? Good Lord, I hardly think so, Nuala. The last thing I want is to listen to Father go on about the Boer War and hear Strickland complaining about the uprising down here. Father said that they’re thinking about recruiting a new division of Auxiliaries to help us “crush the Irish”.’ He looked at her quickly. ‘My apologies, Nuala, I meant no offence.’
‘None taken.’ Nuala was far too pleased with herself to care what he said, as she now had information to take home with her.
‘I pray for you and your family’s sake that you continue to stay out of it all,’ he added. ‘I’m only thinking of your safety, because Father said these new men will be highly trained and will stop at nothing to defeat this rebellion.’
‘I will, so, Philip, I swear,’ Nuala said, her best innocent expression on her face.
When she arrived home, Nuala was touched to see that Finn, who always came round to Cross Farm for his tea on a Saturday night, had waited for her so they could eat together.
‘Hello, darlin’,’ he said, standing up to give her a hug as she walked into the kitchen.
‘Where is everyone?’ she asked.
‘Oh, here and there; I’d say they’re allowing us some time to ourselves.’
‘Could you hang on for another few minutes before we eat?’ Nuala asked. ‘I’ve got important information to tell you all. I’ll go and whistle for them.’
‘What’s this about important information?’ said her mammy from the top of the stairs, where she’d obviously been listening in. ‘Your daddy and Fergus are next door at the O’Hanlons’, planning the harvest.’
‘I’ll go and fetch them,’ said Finn, donning his cap and leaving the kitchen.
Hannah followed their mother down the stairs and fifteen minutes later the family was gathered together.
‘So, Nuala,’ said Daniel, ‘what is it you have to tell us?’
Nuala recounted what Philip had told her about General Strickland’s visit yesterday. She tried not to sound big with herself, being in possession of such knowledge before even headquarters in Dublin had sent a dispatch through about it.
‘Now then, this is what I call news.’ Daniel thumped the table. ‘Did he say when exactly these Auxiliaries were coming?’
‘No, but he said they’d be highly trained.’
‘I’m assuming ’twould be soon,’ said Fergus.
‘’Tis all we need,’ Hannah sighed.
‘Well done, Nuala. ’Tis obvious that you’ve won his trust if he’s telling you things like that,’ Eileen smiled at her.
‘Hannah, will you write a message and get it sent off around the place?’ said Daniel. ‘It needs to go up to Dublin too, though I’m sure Mick Collins will already have heard the news.’
‘He will, sure,’ Hannah said, a glow in her cheeks at the mention of her hero. ‘I’ll be writing now.’
‘Nuala, I’d say that decides it,’ said Daniel. ‘If Strickland and Sir Reginald are after discussing the British plans and Philip’s being told them by his daddy, you’d be helping us by staying on there.’
‘What’s this?’ Finn shot her a glance.
‘Forgive me, Finn, I’d no time to see you yesterday,’ said Nuala. ‘I was going to tell you tonight that I’ve been offered a permanent position as nurse to Philip up at the Big House.’
‘Have you now?’ Finn’s intelligent blue eyes appraised her.
‘The money’s good – eight shillings a week – and I’d reckon ’twould come in handy.’
‘Though ’twould mean that you’d be missing your tea being ready on the table when you come in from a hard day’s work,’ her mother said pointedly.
There was a pause as Finn digested the news. Nuala felt utterly terrible and wished she’d just have said the words to him as soon as she’d got home, rather than him sitting here now with all the family staring at him.
‘Sure,’ he said, turning to her mother, ‘’tis school holidays at the moment and I’ve been a bachelor a while, so I know my way around a spud. Besides, if Nuala is there to help the cause, who am I to complain? ’Twill be harder for her than me. You’re having to learn to become a great actress, darlin’.’ He gave her a smile.
‘We’re all learning that, Finn,’ Hannah put in.
‘I’d say Daddy and Finn are right,’ said Fergus. ‘You should take the job.’
The rest of the family nodded their agreement.
‘That’s that then, so. You have yourself a new job, daughter. Right. ’Tis time to leave these two alone to discuss wedding plans.’
As the family dispersed, Nuala rekindled the fire to warm up the pot, then served stew into two bowls, taking little for herself as she was still full from the gorgeous Victoria sponge cake Philip had insisted she try earlier. Even though it was named after a British queen and was therefore a traitorous thing to be eating, she’d savoured every mouthful. ‘Can you forgive me for not telling you the moment I came through the door tonight?’ she asked him.
‘I’d have preferred it if we’d been able to discuss it alone but—’
‘Finn, you must say if you’d rather I didn’t take the position. It doesn’t matter about Mammy and Daddy – ’tis you I’ll be answering to this time next week.’
‘And why would I be stopping you? As you say, Nuala, ’twill bring in some shillings to the household, and besides, it means your nursing training hasn’t been wasted. You’re doing what you were born to do.’
‘Not really, Finn; ’tis hardly like I’m saving lives on a battlefield.’
‘From the sound of these Auxiliaries, there might be plenty of that coming your way in the future. And isn’t it you that’s always said to me it’s not just about tending wounds, but tending souls? Seems like you’re doing that for Philip. Oh, and one more thing’ – Finn took her hand across the table – ‘let’s have none of this old-fashioned shite about answering to your husband. The only person you need to be answering to is yourself and your conscience. Within reason, of course,’ he smiled.
She gazed at him and thought how well he and Philip would get on if they were to meet. Her heart was fit to burst with love for him.
‘Thank you, though you must know I’d never do anything without discussing it with you first,’ she said.
‘Marriage is about being a team. We’re both equals in it, and we must respect each other. I learnt that from the women up at teacher training in Waterford. I’d say half the students were women and just as bright as the men. If not brighter,’ he grinned. ‘Now then, with that agreed, tell me how the plans are going for our wedding?’
Nuala woke up on the morning of her marriage to Finn feeling as if she hadn’t slept a wink. Every time she imagined taking her daddy’s arm and walking down the aisle in front of two hundred souls, she thought she might be sick all over the beautiful white gown Hannah and the other dressmakers had sewn for her at the shop in their spare time.
Sitting up, she saw the sun was not yet showing its face above the other side of the valley, which meant it was before five.
Lying back down, she knew this was the last time she’d ever share a bed with Hannah. Which immediately sent her tummy into another loop of anxiety . . . She couldn’t even ask her big sister what ‘it’ was like because she was the first to marry, and she could hardly be asking Mammy. She looked over at Hannah – she was so vivacious and quick-witted, though her temper came equally quickly, as Daddy always said. She’d had many fellows after her, but none had ever interested her.
Do you resent me for walking up the aisle before you . . .?
Well, today, however many times Hannah would snipe at her, she’d ignore it. As Nuala had grown older, she’d also become aware that the eldest daughter had the hardest time on the farm. It was Hannah that Mammy looked to for the extra jobs, and Hannah did most things without complaint.
‘I’ll miss you . . .’ she whispered to her sleeping sister. Hannah had inherited Mammy’s pale skin, freckles and hair the colour of a shiny copper pan, whereas Nuala had her father’s dark colouring. She’d always considered herself the plainer of the two, with any attention at weddings and ceilidhs going to Hannah. Fergus seemed disinterested in women in general, saving his affections for the cows in the field. So here she was, on the morning of her wedding, the youngest, but the first of her siblings to be wed . . .
Jumping out of bed, she decided she’d feed the hens and make breakfast just one last time.
As she crept downstairs so as not to wake anyone, she almost jumped out of her skin to see Mammy in her nightgown, stirring the pot over the fire.
‘Why are you up so early?’
‘’Tis a stupid question to be asking on my daughter’s wedding morn,’ Eileen scolded her.
‘I’m out to feed the hens and—’
‘You’ll be doing no such thing! Today is your day, daughter, and we’ll be treating you like a princess right from the start of it. Now then, sit down in my chair and I’ll be making you a mug of tea and then a bowl of porridge, so. After that, you’re to be in the tub before everyone starts arriving.’
‘But I—’
‘None of that, miss; ’tis the last day that my word is law. For once, you’ll be doing as you’re told.’ Then Eileen opened her hands and cupped her daughter’s face inside them. ‘I’m proud of you, Nuala. Finn’s such a good fellow. Just remember to make the most of this time with him before the small ones start coming along, won’t you?’
‘I will, Mammy, I promise.’
Fourteen hours later, Nuala lay in her new bed in her new home, alongside her new husband. The sheet tucked firmly over the strange sensation of her own nakedness, she watched as her husband (equally naked) slept peacefully beside her. Even though she was utterly hanging – the most exhausted she’d ever felt in the whole of her exhausting life – she wanted to play the day back to herself so she could store it safely away in her memory without forgetting a moment.
She’d been taken to the church in a garland-streamed pony and cart, and all the way into Timoleague everyone had come out of their houses and shops and clapped her on her way. Then the walk down the aisle on her daddy’s arm and the look in Finn’s eyes as he turned round and saw her and whispered, ‘You’re beautiful,’ in her ear, as Daddy had let go of her hand and had given it over to Finn’s safekeeping. The fine spread laid on by friends and family, which even Finn’s mammy, after a glass of sherry or two, was impressed by. The band that had struck up as the ceilidh had begun, with everyone in high spirits and dancing away as if they’d not a care in the world. She and Finn in the centre as he’d spun her round and round . . . Then the throwing of her bouquet, made up of wild fuchsia, violets and forget-me-nots. Hannah had been the one to catch it and everyone had cheered, especially as Nuala had seen that a young man had caught her eye.
