The Wedding at Moonglow Bay, page 15
Kissing him was exciting and bone-thrilling, so daring and brash. Heaven help her, she was lost. Swept away in heat and passion.
The primary bedroom was so close, just across the landing from Destiny’s room. Half a dozen steps and they’d be there.
Luca nipped lightly at her bottom lip, and his hands roved over her body. He kissed the little valley between her lip and her nose, traced her upper lip with his tongue, then nibbled at her chin, her earlobe, her throat. His mouth explored her, teasing, coaxing, driving her crazy with throbbing need.
Frantically her heart galloped in her chest, desire sweeping her body in waves of heat. She allowed herself the indulgence, knowing that this could be the last time they ever kissed, considering what was happening to their family.
It wouldn’t go past kissing. She knew that. Luca had so much self-control and honor—but, oh, how she wished they could.
A fresh wave of guilt knocked her back. What would Nick think if he walked upstairs right now and caught them like this?
No.
This was wrong.
She spread her palms across Luca’s cheeks, fingers splayed, and pushed. “We have to stop.”
“I know.” He looked devastated.
She felt the same way. “Luca . . .”
He reached up a finger to brush away the tear trickling down her cheek, his own eyes misty and forlorn. “I need . . . I need . . .”
“To know if I’m going to choose you or Nick?”
Mutely, he nodded.
“I-I can’t.”
“Can’t choose?” he asked. “Or can’t be with me?”
She shook her head, another tear tracking down her other cheek. “It’s all too much to absorb. You’ve got to give me some space.”
“Sammie.”
Trembling inside and out, she stepped from his embrace.
He reached for her, but she eluded his grasp. “Don’t you still want me?”
“Can’t you tell?” Her chest heaved with the heaviness of her emotions.
“But you want him too.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I just don’t know.”
“I’m here to help you figure it out, and if you choose Nick, I’ll accept it.” He reached for her again. “But you have to know, Nick isn’t right in the head.” He told her what had happened outside the house when Victor Jorge snapped Nick’s picture. “I fear he has PTSD.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“I don’t want him alone here with you and Destiny. Not until he’s had a thorough mental and physical examination.”
“Agreed.”
Moistening his lips, Luca reached for her again.
She shied away. “Please,” she begged. “Please just go.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something more. To press the issue, maybe? But that wasn’t Luca’s style. Instead, he kissed the top of her head, whispered, “Sweet dreams,” and then walked downstairs and out the front door.
Samantha stayed stock-still, listening to his footfall on the stairs and staring at herself in the wall mirror as misery crawled through her.
Who was she now? The woman staring back at her.
Who did she want to be?
This morning, she’d wanted to be Luca’s wife more than anything in the world, but that was shattered. All she knew was that she couldn’t go back to being the naïve girl who’d first married Nick. Too much had changed. But how could she move forward with Luca when things were so complicated?
No matter what choice she made, they would all get badly wounded, and there was simply no way around the pain.
Chapter 17
Maybe love was superstition, a prayer we said to keep the truth of loneliness at bay.
—Leigh Bardugo
After several restless minutes, Samantha fell into an uneasy sleep. She had the graveyard nightmare again, except this time, when she fell against the tombstone, Nick arose from the grave and zombie-grabbed her.
And she woke up screaming.
“Sammie, Sammie, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re all right.” Piper’s soothing voice broke through her terror. Her foster sister sat on the edge of the mattress and gathered Samantha into her arms.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” Confused, Samantha blinked and tried to wrap her sleepy brain around her new reality.
“I came to check on you.”
“Why?”
“Um, because of last night. Don’t you remember?”
“Is it true?” She clung to her friend. “Is Nick really alive?”
“Yes. He’s still asleep.”
Feeling more grounded now, she wriggled from Piper’s embrace and sat up to press her back against the headboard. “Destiny?”
“Marcella and Tino took her home with them. They figured they’d get out of the way while you and Nick and Luca sort things through. Although Marcella is expecting us all to come over for a big celebration dinner tonight.”
“That was considerate.” Although none of this would be easily sorted and the ramifications of Nick’s return would have a devastating ripple effect she was just now beginning to understand.
“What day is it?” Time was a blur.
“Sunday.”
“Really? It seems a decade since last night.”
“I know.” Piper patted her hand.
“If it’s Sunday, that means we can’t even talk to a lawyer yet and figure out our legal options.”
“You mean about annulling your marriage to Luca?”
“Actually, I suppose the first step is making Nick undead.” Samantha kneaded her temples. “This is such a mess.”
“But you’re happy Nick’s back, right?” Piper gave her a cryptic sideways glance.
“Yes, of course. I’m just overwhelmed.”
“So’s Nick.”
“I’m sure . . . you and Luca are as well.” She thought about telling her friend that she’d kissed Luca in the wee hours of the morning but decided against it. She ran a hand through her hair, still stiff with hair spray from her fancy wedding hairstyle. “What time is it?”
“Noon. When did you go to bed?”
“Dawn.”
“You should go back to sleep.”
Shaking her head, Samantha threw off the covers. “I need to see Destiny and make sure she’s okay.”
Piper put a restraining hand on Samantha’s arm. “Maybe you should give her some time to process this.”
“You mean without me?”
“Put your own oxygen mask on first, Sammie. Then you’ll be strong enough to be there for Destiny.”
It made sense, but every motherly instinct she possessed was pushing her toward her daughter.
“Self-care,” Piper said. “Want to go to Sunday brunch at McGillicutty’s?”
“It feels weird to go without the family,” Samantha said.
“If you ask me, the Ginelli family needs some breathing room from each other. You guys are always up in each other’s grill. While it’s nice to have support, sometimes boundaries are in order.”
Samantha wasn’t going to lie. She wanted to do the exact opposite of what Piper suggested. Like Marcella, she needed to gather everyone for a big celebration of Nick’s return.
“There’s time enough for a party,” Piper said, reading her mind. “I told Marcella the same thing.”
Samantha reached for her phone on the nightstand. “Let me just text—”
Piper grabbed the phone away from her and stuck it into her hip pocket. “Nope.”
“Hey!”
“As maid of honor, I’m pulling rank. You need clarity. Let’s go.”
“I’m not up for the crowd at McGillicutty’s,” Samantha said, grateful for Piper’s intervention. Her friend was right. Samantha’s emotions were piling up hard and fast, and she could barely think her way through the fog.
Nick was back. Luca had kissed her. Samantha had let him. Not only let him but encouraged it. Oh! This was miserable.
“Fine. We’ll hit a food truck and walk the pier.” Piper held out her hand.
Her friend was a force of nature. When Piper got it into her head to make something happen, it happened, and Samantha was in no mood for a battle. Resigned, but appreciative too, she sank her hand into Piper’s and let her friend tug her off the mattress.
* * *
As Piper and Samantha were strolling the pier, Nick, alone in the house that used to be his, showered and put on his old terry cloth bathrobe that he’d found hanging on a hook in the bathroom.
He fingered the material. Samantha hadn’t thrown his old robe away—that had to mean something, right?
The bathroom mirror was fogged. He’d stood so long underneath the hot water, trying to sort through the horde of emotions ganging up on him and failing miserably.
He rubbed a hole in the mirror mist with his terry-cloth-covered elbow and stared at his reflection. Gaunt features. Weather-roughened skin. Haunted eyes. Shaggy beard.
He didn’t know this stranger in the mirror.
How could he expect Samantha to know him? Or want him back? Gut-punched, his knees wobbled, and he sank against the wall to keep himself upright. No wonder she’d shrieked when she’d seen him. He looked awful.
Nick had survived seven years on a desert island by himself and he’d made it home.
But to what?
The man in the mirror said, “Maybe you should just walk away. Be the bigger man. Leave her and Luca alone. They’re happy. Don’t ruin it for them.”
And do what with his life?
Live in the same town with them? Work with them at Mario’s? Sit across the dining room table with them on holidays and pretend that it was okay that his brother had stolen his wife?
Not fair. You know that’s not fair.
Luca had been looking out for Samantha and Destiny. He should be grateful, not jealous. Yeah, “should” was one thing, truth was another.
Nothing about this mess was fair. To any of them. Not one single thing. Grief-stricken, Nick jammed his hands into the pockets of the bathrobe and touched something in the right pocket.
Curious, he pulled it out.
And found himself staring at two photographs of him and Samantha, attached to one another by black yarn burned almost through. A single thread was still holding them together. The yarn was sooty and smelled of smoke.
Nick sucked in his breath so loudly, the sound echoed in the confines of the bathroom. He didn’t know what this was about, but the message was clear. Samantha had been trying to separate them through some kind of ritual, but she hadn’t completed the severing.
Why not?
And why had she left the pictures in the pocket of the robe?
Did he still hold a piece of her heart?
Shifting his attention back to his reflection, Nick notched up his chin and met his own eyes. “You can’t give her up without a fight. Come hell or high water, you’ve got to win her back. No matter what it takes.”
Win Samantha back!
The imperative lit up Nick’s brain like a favorite song. He was behind the eight ball on this one, but he’d had seven years to think of ways to make amends. He’d been petulant, taking his sailboat out when he was angry and not checking the weather. What kind of Coast Guard officer didn’t check the weather before he went to sea?
A foolhardy lunkhead. That’s who. A young dumbass who thought he was stronger than any weather pattern. A cocky jock who arrogantly believed he could handle whatever Mother Nature threw his way.
Ha!
Yes, he’d paid a high price for his folly, but he couldn’t surrender his marriage without a fight.
Win Samantha back!
Nick left the bathroom wearing the bathrobe, realizing he had no clothes to put on and no phone to call anyone to take him shopping.
Feeling out of step with the entire world, he flopped down onto Samantha’s bed, the bed that used to be theirs, overwhelmed by her scent on the covers, and just sobbed, so very grateful to be home at long last.
Then he heard the front door open and Luca calling his name.
* * *
While Nick was having a meltdown, Samantha and Piper ambled the boardwalk, noshing on soft tacos. Being outside in the ocean breeze banished Samantha’s drowsiness, but now everything seemed fraught with meaning.
Cumin on her tongue had never tasted so earthy and warm. The chugging of the roller-coaster car laboring up the incline and the excited screams of passengers as it rushed down had never sounded so thrilling. She watched a family—mom, dad, and young daughter—shoot water guns at balloons on the midway and thought about all the times Nick hadn’t been with her and Destiny for the simple things. The events he’d missed out on from Destiny’s first step, to her losing her first tooth, to her first day of school.
The old pain cut into her heart as fresh as the day the Coast Guard found the remains of Nick’s sailboat. The day she’d finally given up all hope that he’d return home to them.
That was when she realized she couldn’t count on her in-laws forever. She had to take charge of her future. That was when she’d gone back to finish her accounting degree. On Nick’s urging, she had dropped out of school when she’d gotten pregnant with Destiny. He’d promised to take care of her so she could be a full-time mom.
After Nick’s memorial service, she’d tried her best not to think of him, but that was impossible. Working at Mario’s and being so close to her in-laws kept him foremost in her mind. Nick was woven into the fabric of her life, and she’d learned to live in the shadow of grief.
Grief that had changed and molded her, just as it had them all.
Reclaiming her own interests, which she’d packed away when she’d met Nick, had helped her mute the sorrow into acceptance. And now, she was expected to do a one-eighty and change her mindset and her orientation to the world.
Within seven years, she’d gone from young wife and mother, to widowed single mom, to an accidental bigamist. Samantha had emotional whiplash, and her brain was idling in neutral.
“You were right, I needed to get out of that house.” She finished off the taco, wiped her fingers on a napkin, and flipped it in a nearby trash can.
“Never doubt the wisdom of a Coast Guard officer,” Piper said sagely.
Unless he goes out in a sailboat without checking the weather. “I wonder what Nick will say when he learns you outrank him now?”
“Nick has bigger concerns than competing with me.”
“Oh yeah,” Samantha said, as more implications of Nick’s return occurred to her, and she thought about what Luca had told her last night. Did Nick have PTSD? She certainly wouldn’t be surprised to learn this was the case. “He can’t just return to work, can he?”
Piper stared at her. “Hello? Cleopatra, is that you?”
Samantha crinkled her nose. “What are you talking about?”
“That river in Egypt you’re paddling down.”
“Denial?”
“Big-time. What Nick went through changes a person forever. Look at him. He’s trashed. His mind is shot. It’ll take years for him to come anywhere close to normal, much less hold down a full-time job as demanding as the Coast Guard.”
Reality was a hammer knocking at Samantha’s skull. No easy way out.
“Resuming his old life will be an adjustment. It’s gonna take time . . . lots of time.”
It felt so daunting. Not just for Nick, but for the entire family.
Piper leaned over the rail and tossed the last bite of her taco to the seagulls. One scavenger bird caught it, and the others chased the bold guy, trying to get their share. Piper watched the gulls for a moment, then turned her head to eyeball Samantha. “If you and Nick even want to resume your old life.”
“God, it’s so complicated.” Samantha sighed and touched her lips, remembering Luca’s kiss and battling the wall of guilt building higher by the moment. “Things are such a mess.”
“At least Nick came back before you and Luca had sex. That makes things easier in that regard.”
Samantha rarely kept secrets from her foster sister, but she wouldn’t tell her about kissing Luca this morning. Not that she feared Piper would judge her, but because she was ashamed of herself. She should have been stronger. Should have resisted.
Piper rested her hand on Samantha’s. “It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to.”
“Easy for you to say. You don’t have two husbands.”
Laughing, Piper slung her arm around Samantha’s shoulder and leaned in to touch their heads together. “My friend the bigamist.”
“Piper, what am I gonna do?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I have no idea. Last night, all I wanted was to marry Luca and build a great life together. Now . . .”
“Are you unhappy that Nick came home?”
“No! He’s the father of my child. His death almost killed me . . .”
“But?”
“It’s been seven years. He’s changed. I’ve changed. We’re strangers to each other. Piper, we were apart as much time as we were a couple.”
“So, you might choose Luca?” Piper asked.
Was that a hopeful note in her voice? Did Piper think she should choose Luca? Or was Samantha merely projecting her own wishes onto her friend?
“What’s your opinion?”
“Oh, no, no.” Piper raised both palms and backed up. “Don’t drag me into deciding this.”
“But you’ve been there since the beginning, and you know me better than anyone else. I really want to know what you think I should do.”
“Not going to weigh in.”
Blowing out her breath, Samantha glanced down the boardwalk at the happy couples holding hands. She spied a sandwich-board sign sitting next door to the Wall of Funhouse Mirrors. The sign featured an Eye of Horus logo levitating over a crystal ball and the name Madame D’Veaux in goth scroll lettering.
Clichéd to be sure, but Madame D’Veaux targeted tourists who expected a traditional aesthetic from their vacation fortune-tellers.
