Dark (Beautiful Ashes #1), page 13
Keeley wanted to jerk away from the man she knew would rape her eventually. Instead, she forced out, “Red.”
Braxton was sweating and panting when Keeley was released. He was wiping his face with a towel as a robe was wrapped around her shoulders. The look he gave her sealed what she already knew, he was going to have her with or without her consent, or anyone else’s.
She took a step back until instinct kicked in. The more fear Braxton saw in her, the more he would act on it. Keeley recognized she needed to play the game. Pretend she wanted him. That sent her back to the time spent with the senator and her captivity. She’d been willing to have sex with him. Could she do it again with Braxton? Difference, she wasn’t in love with Tar then and she did it to survive. Problem it led to, now she craved the high pain brought her. Shit. Even in death, Senator Caleb Reynolds had a hold on her.
Braxton reached out his hand and Keeley didn’t back away. “You are a gem. One I mean to keep all to myself.”
She batted her lashes at him. “Sir,” she affirmed as the attendant led her out to Leith.
Leith put his arm around her shoulders. “How the hell are we explaining those marks?”
“Give me time to think about it. Right now,” she sighed heavily, “I need to close my eyes.”
“Let’s get you in the car before anyone else wants to chat.”
*****
Leith acknowledged the ass-whopping he was going to get when Tar saw those raised welts on Keeley. He watched her search for something that would match. “We’re going to go with—I needed you to try these,” she tossed some leather straps his way, “on me to help get me into the right state of mind.”
“Keeley, I can’t keep lying to the man for you. He doesn’t deserve it.”
She spun on her heel and hissed, “Of course he doesn’t, but what choice do we have?”
He nodded emphatically. “I know. But you have to realize, the longer we deceive him, the worse it’ll be.”
Her finger was on his chest, poking. “You don’t think I know that! I’m betraying the man I love,” she screeched.
Leith captured her hand and pinned it against him. “It’s because you love him that I’m not seducing you right now,” he said through gritted teeth.
Her eyes widened at his confession. “Please, just help me do this. I’m trying to help you, Mitch, and Tar. My ways may seem misconstrued, but they’re for the greater good.”
He grabbed the straps and commanded, “Turn around.” Making sure he matched the patterns Braxton left, he struck. She cried out with each lash. “You go ahead and keep lying to yourself, Keeley,” he rasped in her ear, tossing the leather to the side. “But you’re doing this for you.”
She was on her knees hugging herself. “No. That’s not true,” she denied.
“Really? You want me to prove it.”
“Please leave.”
“Oh, I’ll go, but you better listen up. You’re out of your ever-lovin’ mind if you think you can control this addiction.” He slammed the door, leaving her to the misery that was all-consuming.
Leith was right. Keeley wasn’t stupid. She was living up to exactly what she already knew about herself—a complete fuck-up. She screamed and beat her fists against the mat underneath her.
The demon watched as she slowly gave into the guilt and shame. Yes, by the time she accepted the lies he was telling her, it would be too late for Tar or anyone to save her.
*****
Tarius was up before sunrise and figured he needed to run off some of his anxiety. Music pumping through his ear buds, he pushed himself hard. Keeley was lying to him, but he couldn’t figure out about what. The niggling sensation that once he knew it would be over with her, taunted him. He wanted her to trust him enough to tell him what was going on. Prove to her, he could love her darkest parts and not give up. Yet he acknowledged, none of that was possible if she didn’t want to. He couldn’t help her heal if she wasn’t ready. Just like the drug she was once hooked on, until she wanted free of those chains no one could do a damn thing. Sure they could keep speaking the truth. Maybe, just maybe, some of it would trickle in. But her newest obsession could kill her before that ever happened. He needed to find a way to fight this demon of hers. Tar made a one-eighty and ran faster. An idea surfaced and he needed to verify if it could work.
*****
Keeley stood in the shower as it stung across her tortured skin. She hissed, taking in the pain. Her fingers went to her hardened peaks, twisting and pulling. In her mind, she pictured Tar tugging on her nipple rings. She hadn’t put them back in since that sick fucker almost tore her boobs off. Her hand traveled down to where her womb once was. Every mistake she made stole a part of her body and soul. The water caught one particularly sore spot, taking her breath away. She sat on the shower floor, knees up, doing her best to breathe through it. At this angle the water was lightly tapping between her legs. Her focus shifted. One hand toyed with her nipple. Her other finger was moving in and out of her sex as she spread her legs wide for the shower to pulse on her pleasure spot. Tar was there in her mind’s eye as she played with herself, urging her on to make herself come for him. She climaxed screaming out his name. After a few moments, she stood and finished showering.
Keeley took in all the red stripes on her backside using a smaller mirror along with the large one above the vanity. How would she ever hide these from Tar? Then it hit, that book Lacey was reading had been on a very sexy scene. And hello, her sister knew a thing or two about bondage. After all, it was E’s specialty. Excited to learn more about the art of restraining Tar, she finished getting ready in a hurry.
This could work.
She met Lacey at her dance studio. The sexy-as-sin routine they were working on was to Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous.” Damn. There was no denying seductive dance moves were stimulating. Another thing she was going to ask her sister for pointers on. Keeley wasn’t built the same as Lacey. She always felt like a little girl envying Lacey’s womanly body. Her boobs might be bigger than Lacey’s but she really thought that was just due to her tiny frame. A C cup on someone barely five-foot-tall looked huge compared to the same cup size on a woman nearly six foot. Mind-boggling how they were twins. But she favored their mother, and Lacey their father. A sense of remorse hit her. Her dad wasn’t the kindest of men, but him passing away was still difficult. The fact he’d disowned her years ago didn’t ease that ache, only made it more poignant. Yet another person she’d let down with her destructive tendencies. Why would anyone ever love her? She sure didn’t deserve it. And she knew no one could trust her any further than they could throw her. Her mood slipped into somber by the time Lacey was able to speak to her.
“Chin up, buttercup,” Lacey said lightly, “all is not lost.”
No matter where her dark thoughts took her, Lacey could always shine some light to help guide her out of them. “I think your expectations for me are set way too high.”
“Nonsense. No one is that lost.”
Keeley quirked her brow. “Really? Pretty damn dark where I live, Lace.”
“Well…” she looped her arm with Keeley’s, “we’ll just have to see about moving you.”
Keeley shook her head. If it were only that easy! “I do love you.”
“And I love you. I’m never giving up on you.”
“You should for your own sanity.”
“Pfft, lost that some time ago.”
They both chuckled at that.
Keeley was still in awe of how Lacey gave up on her dreams to find her. She was rewarded with finding her other half; E loved her with all his heart. Only reason why Keeley didn’t have as many regrets about it as the other things in her life. Lacey’s determination and fight to find her was the only reason Keeley was alive. She never doubted her sister was an angel.
“Hey,” Lacey pulled her from her musings, “thanks to you, E and I had a great talk.” She hugged Keeley tight. “I really appreciate that.”
It was the least she could do for her considering all Lacey had done. “I’m glad he listened.”
“He loves me and wants what’s best for me,” she said with a confidence Keeley coveted.
Lacey was the center of E’s universe and Keeley couldn’t help but want that kind of love, too. Tar would never forgive her for the lies she told. A man like him put too much value on honesty, and every day she was fucking it up beyond reason. She snapped herself out of the dark pit beckoning her. “Yes, he does. You’re so lucky.”
“Luck doesn’t have a damn thing to do with it, Keeley. It takes work and communication.”
“Then why didn’t you tell him yourself?”
“Honestly, I couldn’t find the right time. I planned on it,” Lacey reassured.
Her sister wasn’t one to fib. If she meant to talk to her husband about her heart’s desire, then she would’ve. Keeley was happy she could open that dialogue up between them. She’d never want anything to get in the way of their happiness. “I believe you.”
“So, what brings you here? Your text said you needed some help.”
Was this really a good idea? But how else would she conceal the marks on her body from Tar? Her biggest fear was growing closer to him. The more he saw how damaged she was, the more she risked losing him forever. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. “I need to learn how to tie him up as I have my wicked way with him.” She laughed in a sinister way.
Lacey’s eyes widened. “Ohhhhhhh. Wait! I thought you had restrained him before?”
“To make my escape from him and the rehab facility, yes. And remember, he was drugged.” The memory of his beautiful, sexy body on display for her in Italy, when he was her bodyguard, stirred her lower regions. Damn good thing she wasn’t a man. If she was, she’d be sportin’ a huge hard-on.
“That’s right! Okay, how can I assist?”
“Teach me all you know, Lace.”
“This is going to be fuuuuun,” she sang out, making her way to the back room. “Follow me.”
Lacey was absolutely the epitome of a good girl. How she found her naughty side was bewildering. After a second though, Lacey realized it really wasn’t, E brought out her kinky in a rather charming way. And somehow, she brought out his in a more seductive manner than all out dominance. They really were perfect for each other.
*****
Tar sat in E’s office pouring over every book he’d been given, studying his theory. E walked in with a few more and placed them on the desk. “For the record, I like your idea. A lot.”
“You think it can work?” Tar inquired, peeking over the edge of rather arousing piece of information.
“Hell yes, I do.” E pointed out, “Biggest things are determination and persistence. Both you have in spades, my friend.”
“Maybe. But man, she’s lying about something. I can feel it,” Tar admitted.
“She is,” E nodded. “But I’m not convinced she’s capable of any other way,” E affirmed what Tar considered.
“I can’t force her to be honest with me any more so than I can force her to trust my love for her.”
“I disagree on one of those.” E raked his hands through his hair. “There’s a way to get the truth from her that actually feeds her need.”
“That’s risky shit, man. I’m trying to heal her, not send her into the deep end!” Tar exclaimed.
“Sometimes we have to learn if we can swim.”
Tar blew out a heavy breath. “And if she drowns?”
“Be her life preserver.”
He made a valid point. Tar couldn’t deny that. Question was, could he do it to her? Forcing someone just wasn’t his cup of tea. It went against his personal code. Albeit he had to admit, it might be the only way to break her. Broken was where she healed, or he lost her forever to that demon who was courting her. Tar wasn’t convinced he could risk that.
Chapter Twenty
Keeley stilled her racing heart by taking in several slow, deep breaths. The room was setup for all kinds of fun. She lit the essential oil candles that gave off a sensual scent of orange blossoms. Lacey pointed out the Neroli had a calming effect as well. They were definitely an aphrodisiac; she was already aroused. Lacey not only told her how, when, why, and where, but she’d been kind enough to demonstrate several areas for Keeley to focus on. She needed the hands-on to really grasp the concepts. As always, Lace didn’t take it to the okay-this-is-freaky-with-a-girl zone. Didn’t matter that she was her sister; some things were just awkward. Although she’d had sex with a couple of women through the years, but that was a part of her past she was so thoroughly ashamed of. It was when she was prostituting herself for drugs. How she’d do anything for the next high. Really, Keeley’s new found obsession was leading her right back down the same path. She saw the warning signs, everywhere—yet couldn’t seem to stop her projection. Guilt slammed her gut hard enough to buckle her over. What the hell was she doing? Tar was better off without her.
Keeley suddenly felt dirty and unworthy of a man like Tarius McNeil. She moved quickly to blow out the candles and slipped a robe over her enticing outfit of leather and lace. By accident she knocked over a glass pitcher full of water, shattering it into a hundred pieces. In her frantic, unstable state, she reached over picking up the larger fragments. Blood trickled off her fingers as she watched in fascination. Searching for the wounds, she found where her life-force was pulsating out in a steady rhythm, holding her captive. Instead of wrapping the cuts, she sat down in the mirage of glass and deep dark red, reminding her of a mosaic painting. Keeley paid no attention to the fact her bare legs were sliced open with her weight. Her stare was fixated on a particular piece that looked like a knife made of glass. The voice she was becoming more and more accustomed to, whispered, “Right along here.”
She could feel the demon’s icy fingernail trace along her artery inside her wrist. He continued to seduce her. “Follow it up, not across,” he crooned along her lips. She licked them, tasting him on her tongue. “Come be with me forever, my dark angel.” So entranced by his words, she didn’t feel the bite as the sharp edge entered and moved up. “Yesssssss,” he hissed, bringing her wide eyes out of whatever haze she’d been caught in. Her scream was ear-splitting as Caleb’s decomposed face was right in front of hers.
Tar raced toward the room. Keeley was in trouble. He burst through the door, taking in the scene before him. He’d seen some bad shit through the years, but nothing could’ve prepared him for this. Keeley was covered in blood with shards of glass sticking out from her legs, feet, and hands. But what locked his gaze and held him hostage was the thick piece embedded in the inside of her arm. “My God, what have you done?” he gasped, reaching for anything to use as a tourniquet. The sash on her robe would do, he nodded, as he pulled it free from her waist. “I’ve got you, baby. Hold on,” he entreated, making quick work to staunch the flow.
Not wanting to open her artery more by removing the glass, he carefully worked around it to hold it in place. He sent an urgent text to Mitch for assistance.
Instead of a reply, Mitch beat feet to the room E informed him Tar would be in. He slammed the door open and let out a, “Holy Fuck,” as he knelt beside his friend cradling a pale as death Keeley. No need to ask the cause, evidence surrounded him, drawing his trained eye to her arm. He noted Tar did well to tie off the area without budging the glass blade protruding. Mitch sidled closer, examining.
Tar’s voice gave away how scared shitless he was. “You can help, right?”
“Affirmative.” He shot a level gaze at him. “You should take her to the hospital.”
“They’ll commit her for observations,” Tar pointed out.
“Most likely. But you have to ask yourself, isn’t that in her best interest?”
Keeley murmured something unintelligible, bringing Tar’s ear directly to her mouth. “Say it again, baby.”
She licked her lips. “I-I,” she stammered, “d-d-didn’t tr-try to kill myself.”
Perplexed by her confession, when everything around him begged to differ, he inquired, “Someone else slit your wrist?” Okay, even to him that sounded ridiculous.
Mitch confirmed that with a, “So what, a ghost did it?”
But Keeley was not finding this funny at all. She growled out, “He’s after me again.”
“Who?” Mitch shot out as he continued to work on her arm.
Her face was terror-stricken as she breathed harshly.
“Calm her down,” Mitch rumbled, working frantically.
“No one is going to hurt you, Keeley.” Tar whispered fiercely against her lips, “I love you. And I’ll always protect you.” Yet he hadn’t. Here she was in danger of bleeding to death, and he wasn’t anywhere to be found. She hissed. From his lie or the pain? Mitch began to stitch the wound. Somehow Tar had missed when he grabbed a med kit. Talk about being nonobservant and so not like him. He shook his head, silencing the dark thoughts, feeling the need to rectify the lie he just told her. “I’m here now. Nothing is going to harm you while I’m on guard.”
Those words brought a smile ghosting across her lips. He’d said them to her before in Italy when her fears were wreaking havoc during rehab. Her mind drifted back to that time in the garden with him as she screamed out all that frightened her.
Tar had held her firmly as she’d beaten his chest, confessing how scared she’d felt. How utterly petrified that she would become the very nightmare she’d lived through.
Tears began to flow at the realization—she was well on her way. “You have to let me go,” she choked on the words, “before you can’t escape this hell.” Keeley gasped on a sob and lost consciousness.
Mitch angled a hard gaze at Tar. “Tell me again why she shouldn’t be where there’s help?”
“I’ve got her,” Tar grit out. “I’ll help her get through this. You’ll see,” he said with a fierce determination in his voice.
