Alaska Spark, page 23
part #1 of Blazing Hearts Wildfire Series
“I’m glad you’re here. I so need to be with you right now.” She smiled up at him.
“I want to be with you, too, but don’t have much time. Mel is waiting with Juliet.” He brushed back strands from her messy ponytail and kissed the side of her neck. “And I’m expected back at the Jump Shack.”
“So good to see you. You have no idea.” She buried her face in his fire shirt and squeezed her arms around him.
He sensed something wrong. Something was off. Maybe she already knew about Travis. He moved back and cupped her cheeks. “Everything okay?”
She nodded, but her expression said otherwise. “What is it you have to tell me?”
He hungered to kiss her again but had to get on with it. He tenderly rubbed her shoulders. “There’s been an accident. Travis McGuire. He jumped the Lochsa Fire in Idaho…his chutes didn’t open…”
She took a step back and gave him an odd look. “Why are you talking about Travis?”
“I wanted to be the one to tell you. Didn’t want you hearing it in some random way.” He reached for her hand and stroked it with his thumb.
“Travis—is he dead?” Tara fixed on him, wide-eyed.
He squeezed her hand, nodding. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, God.” She stumbled back against the birch and wiped a shaking hand across her mouth.
He moved close to comfort her. “No one knows why his reserve didn’t open after his primary chute didn’t work. It was a malfunction.”
“Travis jumped over a hundred fires. How could this happen?” “No one knows yet. The investigation is ongoing.” Ryan was uneasy about parachute malfunctions same as anyone else. But he’d never let on to Tara.
“Ryan, what if—” she choked off and her breath caught. “What if the same thing were to happen to you?”
“Don’t think like that,” he erupted. He didn’t have an answer for her. They both understood the dangers of his job.
“You know how I always say I’ve got this? I don’t have a grip on anything right now. It’s like losing Travis all over again. People in my life either leave or die.”
Ryan lifted her chin. “You’re the strongest woman I know. You’ll get through this. I’ll help you.” He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.
She stiffened and he sensed her tensing, holding back what she couldn’t suppress any longer.
“Let it out,” he said softly. “No one is judging you. Let it all out.”
She squeezed him hard and the sobs came. Her shoulders wracked with such force, he wasn’t sure how to respond. He held her, rocked her. Contain her…contain her like a fire. This I know how to do.
Ryan felt McGuire's loss as a fellow smokejumper, but as far as he was concerned, Tara was his now. He liked Travis, but if he would have been faithful to her, she wouldn’t be in Ryan’s arms now. Life can turn on a dime. Or, he thought glumly, a fire.
He had jumped into different territory now.
Chapter 31
Tara’s senses narrowed and the woods wheeled around her. Travis? Dead? The words fell on her like boulders crashing down a mountain. A piece of her stripped away. She had been a dam holding back a swollen lake. Her tears had cut loose in a flood out of her control.
Ryan held her tight until her sobs subsided. She didn’t want him to let go and rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat comforted her.
He reached in his pocket for a hanky and offered it.
She took it and dried her tears. “Dad always said there’s no crying in firefighting.”
“Not true. Not always.” His eyes mirrored empathy, preventing her from freefall.
“I appreciate your coming here to tell me.”
“You’d planned to marry him at one time. Figured his death might be hard for you.”
“I tried hard to get over him after breaking our engagement. I kept thinking something was wrong with me.” What she didn’t say was, breaking off the engagement nearly destroyed her after losing her father.
“Nothing’s wrong with you. Trust me.” His voice was low and rough. He kissed her palm. “Do you still love him?”
The tender touch of his lips had rippled through her, but his question tipped her off balance. “I thought I did. But that was before.”
“Before what?”
She looked straight at him. “Before you.”
Radio static. Melbourne talking. “O’Connor, this is seven four Juliet. Lift off in ten, incoming traffic.”
“Copy. On my way,” he replied to his radio, his gaze steady on Tara.
Forcing a smile, she lightly tugged his shirt collar. “You better go.”
He tugged her to him for a long, tender kiss, then separated from her. “Sorry to deliver this shocking news and then rush off. Next time we’ll meet on a happier occasion.”
She tucked her head against his neck, wanting to stay like this forever. “I don’t want you to go. I know you have to, but I don’t want you to,” she whispered.
“I’d stay if I could. Hang in there with me until fire season ends. I’ll take you places you’ve only dreamed of. But for now, we earn the bucks to do it. Deal?”
“Deal.” She pressed against him, wanting his reassurance to envelop and comfort her like a cozy quilt—and calm her in this insane world of death and accusation.
Ryan pulled back. “Stay safe on this fire. You know the drill. Make good choices.”
She chuckled. “You’re the one who jumps out of perfectly good airplanes.”
He leaned in and kissed her, sending a want all the way to her core. When he tried to pull back, she wouldn’t stop kissing him. Finally, he backed away, rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand.
He glanced down at himself. “Cripes, Waters. Now look what you’ve done.”
She grinned, reaching for him, knowing their kiss made him feel the same way she did.
He held up his hands. “Stop. If I don’t leave now, I’ll tear off your Nomex and have my way with you right here.” He motioned to the forest floor.
“I can think of worse places.” She gave him a coy look and pushed pine needles with her boot as if clearing a place to lie down. “Promise me you’ll stay safe.”
“Always."
“Where will you take me that I’ve only dreamed of?” She was thrilled that his after-season plans included her.
“Ever ride the Pacific Coast Highway on a Husqvarna 701?”
She scrunched her face. “On a chainsaw?”
A squirrel chattered at them and Ryan laughed.
“You’re such a fire chick. Husqvarna doesn’t only make chainsaws. They’ve cranked out a motorcycle or two. Or if you prefer, we’ll sip glacieritas on a Kenai Fjords cruise, watching whales breach.”
“Both. I want to do both.” She fought for strength. “This must have been awkward for you, coming up here to tell me about Travis. Thank you.”
“I don’t do things like this for just anyone.” Ryan cocked a brow and turned to go.
She wanted desperately to tell him about Hudson. “Wait.” Her heart thumped—should she? By the way, Mike Hudson threatened your girlfriend, then accused her of trying to kill him by shoving him in an ash pit.
No time for that right now. She’ll deal with it.
“Waters, if I don’t get out of here…” Slivers of sun streamed between spruce boughs, backlighting his broad shoulders, and glinting his hair gold.
He was the most beautiful thing on this mountain.
She lifted her chin. “Check your chutes, O’Connor.”
He nodded, smiling. “If I have to promise to be safe, so do you.” He hesitated, then put on his sunglasses, and strode off.
“I promise,” she called after him.
He waved before disappearing from the woods.
Aching for him in a way she’d never known, she watched his yellow shirt disappear into the spruce. She leaned back on the birch, slid to the ground, and drew her knees to her chest. She wept…tears for not saving Dad. Tears for the old man she couldn't save. Tears for Travis abandoning her and now he was dead. Yes, she had loved him, or thought she did.
But Ryan was in her life now and she missed his reassuring presence. He had tossed her a lifeline by making plans with her after fire season. Now she had something to look forward to. His going to the trouble to fly up here just to deliver the news about her ex only proved that he did care about her.
But what hit home were the perils of smokejumping. The fears Tara had whenever Travis had jumped a fire. When she broke off the engagement, she remembered feeling relieved at not having to bury those closet fears anymore. Fears that no one dared talk about in fire.
And now, those fears had wormed their way back. She’d have to learn how to force them down to the basement of her psyche all over again. If something happened to Ryan…she couldn’t go there.
They each promised the other to stay safe.
After all…a promise was a promise.
That night, Tara and the Aurora Crew feasted on fresh steak and potatoes, air-dropped earlier from AFS. The exhausted crew lingered around the cooking coals, complimenting Silva on their fantastic steaks. Jon took pride in his gourmet cooking skills.
“Thanks folks. Glad you enjoyed your bad-ass steaks. Later, boys and girls, I’m beat.” He started for his tent, then stopped next to Tara. “You’ve been wanting to talk to me. Sorry to put you off again, but can you stop by later? Got to clean up and do some paperwork first.”
“Sure.” Tara looked up at him. She couldn’t help but notice Jon’s flattering profile in the twilight. If not for Ryan, she may have been tempted to respond to his friendly flirtations.
The Afi Slayers squad and the women sat on logs around the cooking circle. Tara enjoyed their company after bonding as a squad in Chinook. They approved of her leadership and she’d earned their respect. That meant the world to her.
“Too bad about Hudson. Goes to show, you gotta be careful in the black. People assume everything in the black is safe.” Tupa munched a leftover steak, his massive hand holding it like a cookie.
“Why did Hudson say you pushed him in? That’s a helluva thing.” Bateman spit on his glasses and rubbed the lenses with his kerchief.
“No idea. He was in shock, I guess.” Tara rose, giving Liz and Angela an urgent look. “Ladies, time to head to the latrine. Good night, everyone.”
“Good night, ladies,” said Tupa.
The others said good night as they rose and retired to their tents for the night.
“Okay, spill,” ordered Angela, as the three women hurried up the path toward the women’s latrine.
“Is Ryan working this fire?” asked Liz.
“No. He made a special trip here to tell me Travis was killed jumping a fire in Idaho. Ryan knew him and thought he should tell me in person.”
“I’m so sorry,” gasped Angela. “I wouldn’t have called him a nutless weasel if I’d known he’d be kicking the bucket.”
Tara forced a smile. “Just because a person dies doesn’t make them a saint.”
“It’s still a bitter blow. If you’d married him, you’d be a widow now. Either way, you would have lost him.”
“True.” Tara watched a helicopter hovering to land.
“Ryan came all the way up here to tell you about Travis?” Liz put a hand to her heart. “How romantic. No guy has ever done anything like that for me.”
“Romantic?” Tara raised her brows.
“Your new heart throb travels miles to tell you in person—on a fire no less, that the man you once intended to marry died on a fire. And the weird thing is, they knew each other. This reminds me of the Spielberg movie about firefighting and the air tanker pilot in love with Audrey Hepburn.” Angela pulled a wipe from her pocket to dab her eyes.
“Always,” Tara smiled at her crew mate.
“Always what?” sniffled Angela.
“That’s the name of the movie. Always.”
“Except the tanker pilot isn’t in love with Audrey Hepburn. He’s in love with Holly Hunter,” said Liz.
“And they danced to Smoke Gets in Your Eyes,” purred Angela.
Liz continued. “He’s dead, but loves her so much he saves her life, so she can fall in love with the hot air-tanker pilot.”
“Brad Johnson,” sighed Tara. “Always was Mom and Dad’s cult film. Believe me, I was amazed that Ryan came all the way up here to tell me about Travis.”
“I knew from the git-go he was into you,” said Angela.
“It was meant to happen,” Liz said matter-of-factly.
Angela gave Tara a coy look. “Is it too soon for the “L” word?”
Tara’s cheeks heated. “Way too soon.” Or was it?
They reached the ladies’ tarped shower area and ducked inside. Tara made sure they were alone. The women grouped in a circle while Angela pawed through her toiletry bag for a brush.
“Okay, why did you go to HR this morning? I’ve been in suspense all day.” Angela bent to brush her hair.
“Hudson threatened me last night.” The words sounded foreign, even as she said them.
Angela tossed her head up, wide-eyed. “When? What did he do?”
“Last night on my way to the latrine, he wouldn’t let me pass. He said we could have some fun and said what a shame if my face were to be messed up. Then he stole Dad’s bandana from my pocket.”
“Holy shit!” Liz threw her arms up. “Why couldn’t he stay in his tent and jerk off in his sleeping bag like a normal guy?”
Angela stared at Tara with fire in her eyes. “That’s a bona fide threat! If he were here, I would dangle his puny, little dick on a spruce tree for the bears.”
“I tried to report it this morning, but no one was at HR. When our crew got back, Ryan was here. I wanted to talk to both of you before I go to HR.”
“So that’s why Hudson accused you of pushing him in the ash pit.” Angela waved her brush. “How could he even think to say it when he was in pain?”
“Because he’s a sociopath,” said Tara dryly.
“Don’t you love it when karma kicks someone’s ass who deserves it?” Liz smiled.
“I don’t wish horrible things for people. But when the universe does kick their ass, makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.” Angela straightened, tossing her dark tresses.
Tara stared at her two friends. “I don’t want the crew to find out.”
“Stop worrying what they’d think. They respect you, especially your squad. And they liked how you thwacked Hudson in the bar. That’s the crazy stuff that fills our heads when these things happen.” Liz grimaced.
“Have you ever been threatened with physical harm?” asked Angela.
Liz grimaced. “You think it never happens in my line of work? What rock do you two live under?”
“Sorry, Liz. This is just all so weird.” Tara gave her a sheepish look.
Liz waved away the apology. “You can’t let Hudson get away with it, burn injuries or not.”
Angela had her fighting face on. “From the beginning, my gut told me he was a slithery one. You have us for witnesses. We know you didn’t push him in and Rego knows you didn’t.”
“Did you tell Ryan?” asked Angela.
“There wasn’t time. Plus, I want to handle it myself.”
“But Ryan could help you with this.” Angela looked at Liz, who nodded agreement.
Tara paced. “I know. He saved my ass the first time I met him. I don’t want him thinking he has to rescue me every time I have a tricky situation.”
“But if you want a close relationship with Ryan, you need to be honest. Don’t forget, fire is a small world. He’s bound to hear it anyway.”
“Not only that, if Ryan finds out you told Silva and not him, he won’t like it,” Angela pointed out.
“You’re right.” She should have told Ryan. Too late now.
“Well, you have to tell Silva because he’s your crew boss. Plus, report it to HR. And you should file a police report for threats of physical harm.” Liz put her hand on her hip.
The thought of filing a police report sickened her. “I’ve already played it out. I don’t want to demobe. I’m here to fight fire and I need a good referral for the Lolo Hotshots. I won’t get one if I leave this fire.”
Angela pulled out a toothbrush and waved it. “Get a restraining order.”
“Hudson’s gone. Doubt if I’ll see him again,” said Tara.
“I’d get one anyway.” Liz leaned into her. “Oh, I have other juicy news. After Hudson medevacked out, Rego told Tupa that Hudson bragged about adding weights to Angela’s pack before her fitness test.”
Angela stopped brushing and pointed her toothbrush at Tara. “I knew that rat bastard did it!”
Liz chuckled. “Rego said Hudson was giddy with pleasure for trashing Angela’s fitness test. Aren’t you glad we strung him up on the moose?”
“We should have run him up a flagpole instead.” Tara glanced at her watch. “It’s half past seven, I’ve got to go.”
“First tell Silva. Then go to HR.” Angela finished brushing, sipped water, and turned to spit a fast stream.
“Angela, you have to come with me to tell them Hudson sabotaged your fitness test.” Tara strode out of the shower area.
The women hurried back to Aurora Camp.
“Good luck. Let me know what happens.” Liz unzipped her tent and crawled inside.
“Okay,” whispered Tara as she and Angela approached Silva’s tent. A flashlight was on inside, so he was awake. “Hey, Jon?”
“Yeah,” Silva responded.
“Got a minute?” Tara waited.
Silva unzipped his tent and poked his head out. “Sorry, I’ve been so busy. I’ve been working on the incident report about Hudson.” He lifted a clipboard.
Tara squatted next to him. “I won’t take up much time. Thought you should know I went to HR this morning to report a crew behavior violation, but no one was there. Hudson threatened me last night.”
Silva stared at her, then looked at Angela, who nodded.
“Shit, Waters. You mean with physical harm? That prick! Why didn’t you tell me?”
