Orphan Sisters, page 32
‘Hello! Do you need anything?’
‘No, I just want a word with my mother. I’ll come and have a chat after.’ Tina had always liked Susan and at times wished her mother was more like her: warm, open and not the stiff, enclosed woman who’d brought her up. Of course, it all made sense now. How else could she behave towards the child of a woman who had slept with her husband?
After telling her mother for the second time that she didn’t want any tea, Tina was finally able to say the words which had been sitting on her tongue for weeks.
‘You should have told me.’
‘I know.’
‘I don’t just mean about Rex being my real father, but about everything. What you did was despicable. You can’t play God like that.’
‘I know. You’re right.’
She hated her mother just a little bit more for agreeing with everything she said. How was she supposed to chastise this woman who had suddenly aged ten years overnight? Once a sprightly and still handsome woman, she was now reduced to being a hunched-over pensioner in floods of tears. How would Tina look? What would Susan say? She’d probably escort Tina out of the house, mumbling how disappointed she was in her.
‘I am so sorry, Tina. You mean the world to me, you’re all I ever cared about,’ she said, in between sobs.
‘I find that hard to believe right now. I think you were just saving yourself, worried about what your well-heeled friends would feel. Daddy Quinton was your leg-up on the social ladder. Finally, you had married the man you thought you had deserved all along. You told me enough times how important that was – especially when you were selling Mark to me.’
Her mother closed her eyes and slowly opened them.
‘You told me often enough that Rex, my real father, was just a jumped-up businessman who struck it rich with property but had no real class! So, you weren’t going to jeopardise your new and better life by telling me the truth, Mother. This was all about you. All about you.’
‘I am so sorry.’ Her mother placed a bony hand onto Tina’s arm. ‘I’m sorry.’
Tina pulled her arm away. ‘I can’t forgive you, Mother. Not yet. It’s too much.’
Her mother nodded her head rapidly as, thankfully, the tears began to subside. ‘I understand.’
‘It’s too much,’ Tina repeated.
Tina returned home that very night.
‘I’m so glad you’re back … you are back, aren’t you?’ said Mark. The dark circles around his eyes suggested he’d not been sleeping much lately.
‘I am,’ she replied. ‘But things are going to have to change. I don’t want what we had before. I need more. So much more.’
‘I will try. I can only try, Tina. I was never the most romantic man when you met me. That’s just not me.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘It’s a bit more than that, Mark.’
‘I will try my best to do what I can. Whatever you need.’
‘Well, that you’re willing to try is a start. But I can’t promise you anything. We’ll have to take it day by day.’
‘Tina, I am willing to try anything, whatever you want, because I will do anything to keep you. I love you, Tina. I’m nothing without you.’
‘Don’t say that, Mark. That’s how I used to think – that I was nothing without you. All my life I’ve been looked after. First by my sisters, then Mother and Daddy Quinton … and then you. I’ve remained this little girl, but at twenty-two I’m ready to become a woman, with all my nuances and flaws. I’m ready. And you will have to accept that side of me, too.’
‘Anything. Anything you want, Tina.’ He still wasn’t getting it, but that was OK. This was about Tina and no one else.
Chapter Forty-five
For Lana, having found her sisters months earlier than anticipated meant she had plenty of time to spend with them before her sabbatical was over. She would harass Eve into taking a break and treat her to a modest noodle lunch, or just rediscover the joys of walking aimlessly with Tina on a Tuesday afternoon, enjoying the mild weather. It was during such a walk that a huge gym bag appeared from nowhere, swiping her across the shoulder.
‘Oops, sorry!’ said the woman as she lowered the bag onto the floor.
‘That’s OK—’ she said, immediately locking eyes with Denise. ‘Denise!’
‘Lana. Hi,’ she said awkwardly.
The three women moved away from the crowds.
‘Just left the gym,’ said Denise.
‘This is my sister, Tina.’
‘I didn’t know you had a sister.’
‘Neither did I!’ said Tina, her smile lost on Denise. She quickly focused on the children’s clothing displayed in a shop window.
‘I thought Clifton would have mentioned it,’ said Lana, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. ‘How are you?’
‘Busy, busy, busy,’ said Denise, with what sounded like exaggeration.
‘I hope everything’s OK, you know, with us?’
‘Why wouldn’t it be?’
‘I don’t want you to stay away from me because of the whole answering-the-phone incident.’
‘Clifton explained all of that. Ancient history.’
‘Good, because, well, you’re going to be around for a very long time and we really need to get along. Maybe we can even go out sometime, just the two of us. What do you say?’
‘No, I think I’ll pass on that, if you don’t mind.’
‘I thought you and I were OK?’
‘We are. Me and Clifton on the other hand …’
‘I don’t understand, Denise.’
‘He didn’t tell you, did he?’
‘Tell me what?’
‘Clifton and I broke up over a month ago.’
Clifton had almost finished the seafood sandwich by the time Lana slid up beside him on the park bench.
‘I thought we were having lunch together?’ asked Lana.
Clifton placed a bulky plastic bag onto her lap. ‘I didn’t forget your sandwich, if that’s what you’re asking!’
She carefully unwrapped the sandwich. ‘Tell me the truth, Clifton. Are you and Denise still together?’
‘Nope.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘You didn’t ask.’
‘That’s pathetic.’
‘You’ve had a lot on. I didn’t feel I should say anything.’
‘You split up with probably the only girl you’ve ever loved – the girl you were going to marry – and you think I wouldn’t have time for you? What kind of friend do you think I am?’ She turned to him. ‘Seriously, you’ve always been there for me, so I’m not sure why you’d ever think I wouldn’t do the same for you.’
‘Lana, let it drop, it’s no big deal.’
‘Clifton!’
‘What do you want me to say? It’s over. It has been for ages and long before we split up.’
Lana bit into the sandwich. ‘Why did you split up anyway?’
‘I liked someone else. More than liked.’
‘Oh, I see!’
‘Don’t worry. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.’
Lana rewrapped the remainder of the sandwich, suddenly not that hungry. ‘Tell me more about her … you know, if you want. I’m not here to judge you.’
‘She’s kind, funny, really generous. Talks a lot, but that’s OK and she’s highly emotional, cries at the drop of a hat.’
Clifton slowly wiped a stray crumb from Lana’s cheek and her throat suddenly felt dry.
‘I see …’ she said hoarsely.
‘She’s gorgeous … but there’s so much more to her than that. She’s … she’s home.’
‘Wow, OK,’ she said, shrugging him away, her voice suddenly higher-pitched. ‘This girl sounds great!’ She couldn’t decide where to look, because if she looked into his eyes …
‘We liked each other once, but the timing was off, so I waited. Then, just when the both of us were finally free, she gets caught up again.’ His gaze became a little intense. His eyes bored into her, exposing a truth she was trying to ignore.
‘Clifton?’ she whispered, feeling clumsy, unsure if they were actually back at Grassy Green as teenagers, when they had confessed their feelings only to be torn apart by a parent who wanted her son back. Nights spent dreaming of kissing him again, fading into a reality involving a friendship with no trimmings – the best of friends and a bond no one, not even a girlfriend, could ever break.
‘Don’t say I’m like a brother to you! I know we’ve missed our time, but just don’t say that!’ He stood up. ‘I’m going to go now. I hope you enjoy the sandwich.’
‘Clifton, I don’t want to ruin what we have because your friendship means everything to me. You’ve always been there. I can’t do this.’
‘I know.’
As she watched him turn and walk away, Lana wondered if their friendship had now been severed beyond repair. They’d been ‘Lana and Clifton’ for so long she had no idea where he ended and she began. The last few months for her had been so wondrously life-changing. She’d never envisaged losing Clifton in the process.
Was losing Clifton the payback for gaining her sisters?
Was she about to lose the one person who had never left?
‘Wait!’ she called out. Clifton’s long legs had already reached the gates of the park. She ran as fast as she could, catching up with him.
Her breath caught in her throat as she spoke. ‘Don’t go yet.’ ‘What are you doing?’ he asked with amusement.
‘I’m not prepared to lose you. That’s not happening.’ She placed her hands on her knees, doubling over and breathing rather heavily.
‘You would never lose me. I’m not going anywhere.’
Lana looked up at the boy she’d known since the age of twelve. They’d always related to each other in a special way. Clifton was her friend, her protector. And, at that moment, slightly out of breath through lack of fitness, she’d no idea if her relationship with him had survived merely because of their upbringing, or because there was a chance they’d be able to rekindle their teenage romance.
Anything was possible, though.
The last few months had taught her that.
Chapter Forty-six
The last time Tina had been to a graveside, she’d been fifteen. That day, she’d helplessly watched those around her fall apart and with her mother unable to reach out to anyone, Tina had been left to grieve alone. She’d dressed all in black then, but this time she would wear a purple jumper and black skirt as, apparently, purple had been her favourite colour.
‘Would you like me to come with you?’ asked Mark. Her husband had been trying his best to morph into the man he thought she wanted, washing the dishes and reading Samantha a bedtime story every night. Although she’d accepted Mark’s flaws a long time ago, she was enjoying this change and as long as he accepted her changes, they would have a good chance of making it. Of that she was sure.
‘I’ll be OK, Mark. Spend some time with our girl. She’ll love that.’
Eve could barely remember the girl she’d once been, standing beside her mother’s grave and refusing to look at it. She could recall a howling wind blowing in the distance and her numb refusal to feel. The temptation was there to shut down yet again and to reject her heightened emotions, but at least this time she could turn to her sisters for support.
This time would be different.
Eve slipped each arm into her black Claude Montana widecollared jacket, covering the purple blouse Aunty Ginny had told her to wear. It was her favourite colour, apparently, and yet another titbit she’d never known about her mother. Eve looked forward to the masses of information Aunty Ginny would divulge over the years. She had so much more to learn about her mother and father, about Tayo and Adanya Cole.
Eve smiled as she recalled her assistant Lee’s astonishment when she’d announced a three-week break for next month – similar to how he’d looked when she’d handed him a birthday present (a regift from a grateful client, but a gift nevertheless).
Eve planned to spend the bulk of the break on a well-earned holiday with her sisters. The three women had playfully argued on where they would stay. Eve insisted on a five-star hotel, Tina was fixed on a weird yoga retreat and Lana preferred a B & B. Of course, Eve had no intention of staying in a B & B. She’d had her fill of those!
Eve and her sisters were so different, yet the same. She’d never be able to explain this concept to anyone, but they knew. Deep down, each sister was deeply aware that such differences merely strengthened the bond between them.
They were sisters. They would always be sisters.
Lana admired her purple slingbacks in the mirror, thrilled to find out Mummy adored purple. So did she. It was another confirmation of the bond she’d always felt with her mother.
‘You look lovely,’ said Clifton.
‘Thank you.’
‘You sure you don’t want a lift?’
‘That’s OK. I don’t know how long we’ll be and I don’t want to think about you waiting around. Besides, you have a business to run!’
‘My garage can survive without me for a couple of hours.’
‘This will probably take a bit longer than that.’
‘True. I know how you three can get.’
‘As I always say, you can’t blame us – we’ve got a lot to catch up on!’
Lana was second to arrive as Eve waited by the pillar as instructed. Two bouquets of purple roses flared against the blackness of her jacket. Tina arrived a minute later with a simple yet elegant tall-stemmed purple orchid.
‘There she is,’ said Eve, as Aunty Ginny slowly climbed out of her son’s blue Ford.
She headed towards them. ‘Addy’s girls.’ Lana always felt a rush of warmth whenever Aunty Ginny referred to them this way.
‘Ready?’ asked Aunty Ginny. With Tina beside her and holding hands with Aunty Ginny, Eve trailing slightly behind, the four women walked towards their parents and best friend.
The sun was radiant as each sister stared down at the two plaques depicting their parents’ names.
‘I haven’t been in a while. Many years, in fact. I just couldn’t, not with you girls still out there,’ said Lana, as Tina removed the older flowers and placed them into a plastic bag.
‘I’ve never even been. If I had known—’ said Tina.
‘That wasn’t your fault.’
‘I know, but it still hurts. That’s my mum!’
‘You’re here now,’ said Aunty Ginny.
Lana noticed the rigidity in Eve’s body. She hadn’t said much since they’d arrived, merely clutching the two large bunches of purple roses as if letting go would be the hardest thing to do.
‘Have you ever thought about finding the rest of your family?’ asked Aunty Ginny.
‘I wouldn’t know where to start,’ admitted Lana. ‘The authorities didn’t do a very good job in looking for them the first time around.’
‘Those useless idiots wouldn’t know their arse from their elbows!’ said Aunty Ginny.
‘She’s right about that. You found us, so I know you can find our grandparents, if they’re still alive,’ said Tina.
‘And you chased Tina all around a foreign country!’ added Aunty Ginny. ‘Seriously girls, you have a whole family out there. Not sure about Tayo’s parents … that was a sore point … and I don’t know if that was Addy’s illness talking or if it was real. But she talked a lot about her mum and dad, and four or five brothers. They must be out there wondering what happened to you lot!’
‘Four,’ corrected Lana.
‘You see? You remember more than you think. If we look in her diary, we can get addresses and see if they match up to what you remember when you lived there.’
‘There’s so many pages that have torn out and only one address that looks remotely Nigerian in the book,’ said Lana.
‘It’s a start,’ said Aunty Ginny.
‘Then there’s the address on the fan.’
‘What fan?’
‘The one you gave me, Aunty Ginny. Just after the funeral. It was in the vanity case. I haven’t looked at it in a while, but I remember a faded address of some sort. It’s probably nothing, but maybe not.’
‘There you go, then. I can hear the cogs of your mind working already.’
‘To think we have all those family members living five thousand or so miles away! What do you think Eve?’ asked Tina.
Eve remained with her back to the group, staring down at Mummy’s grave.
‘Eve?’ asked Lana, moving over to where she stood, and immediately seeing the single tear rolling down her sister’s cheek.
Lana edged away.
The sun had all but set and it felt like it was time to go.
Aunty Ginny whispered a prayer to her best friend and warned Tayo to ‘look after my Addy’.
‘Bye Mummy, bye Daddy,’ said Lana.
Tina blew a kiss at her mother’s gravestone, closing her eyes solemnly. She turned to Tayo’s plot and said, ‘Look after my mum.’
‘I’ll probably see you soon, you two,’ said Aunty Ginny, pointing to each of the graves.
‘Don’t say that! You’re going to be around for a long while yet!’ said Tina. They turned to leave. All except Eve. Lana looked back to see her sister stoop and finally place the bouquets she had been clutching onto each of the graves.
‘We’ll give Eve a bit of privacy,’ suggested Aunty Ginny.
Lana felt her heart break all over again at the sight of her sister placing herself on the ground, between the graves of their parents. At that moment, Eve was not the first black woman ever to be voted onto the board of a UK retail company, but a little girl who was lost and confused. Only this time, she was not alone. Lana would make sure that Eve Cole would never be alone again.
Despite the tears and the sadness, the day had been a joyous one for Lana. She had so much more to share with her family, including the news that she would be honouring her mummy, daddy and her Nigerian culture by switching her name back to Lanre – and that Lanre Cole was about to embark on training to become a nurse.
As a family they had so much to look forward to and a lifetime of wishes to fulfil. And, with her life still on its wonderfully eventful journey, she was now ready to fully embrace the sensation of love with those around her. Lanre couldn’t wait to continue learning from three people with whom she had shared a deep and remarkable bond all those years ago.
